Chapter 52
CHAPTER FIFTY-TWO
SANORA
We remained in silence as they watched my life drain out of me.
And all I could think about was how good it would feel if Thrax were here. By my side.
I had cried so many happy tears in the past few days that when I realised I was going to die, my body couldn’t summon another. Even if I had them left, I didn’t have the strength to let them fall.
It was terrifying—death pressing down on me—but I let it sink in. I didn’t fight the realisation anymore.
I was going to die in Nimorran.
I’d thought coming here would give me answers, that it would explain the pull I’d always felt towards this place, that it would finally unravel the questions that had gnawed at me my entire life. And it had. But at a cost—it gave me truth and stole my life in the same breath.
Selvanyra had won.
And maybe my mother was right all along. She always was.
The sudden thought of her cut through me sharper than the knife in my stomach. Tears gathered, burning at the corners of my eyes, not from pain but from regret.
I should have talked to her more. I should have asked her about her and Franklin, pressed her for every detail of her life, told her I loved her until she got sick of hearing it.
But I hadn’t. I had shifted all of that to later.
Later that would never come. And I couldn’t bear to imagine her face when she heard the news of my death.
As if my body breaking apart wasn’t enough, my heart shattered too, splintering into pieces at the thought of her blaming herself, regretting sending me here.
I didn’t want her to have regrets.
Because I didn’t. Not one. I had no regrets about coming here, no regrets about the path that had brought me to this moment.
The only regret was not talking to her more.
She had been my entire life, my safe place.
And still, even now with death clawing at me, I wanted to spend my last moments with her.
She deserved that. She wasn’t just losing a daughter, she was losing her best friend.
And Thrax.
Thrax.
He had told me I brought light into his dark world.
His Nher. His light. I was his light. And if I died, I would be taking that from him, plunging him into the very darkness he had lived in for centuries.
I couldn’t do that to him. I didn’t want to.
Even if I wasn’t here anymore, I wanted him to hold on to at least a sliver of light. A sliver of peace.
I wanted his time to start again.
I wanted him to be mortal.
I wanted him to have a chance at happiness—even if that happiness didn’t include me.
I wanted him to be mortal.
Mortal.
Only I could make him mortal.
“I’m going to die anyway. Why waste it? Do it now.”
Kalimetryna’s dying words crashed into my skull unbidden, sharp as the biting cold. Strength surged back into me, lighting up my veins with a desperate clarity as the idea bloomed bright in my chest.
I was going to die anyway, I might as well die properly in a way that’d benefit Thrax. Why waste my life when I could make him mortal again? I could turn my end into his beginning.
Maybe Selvanyra hadn’t won after all.
I pulled at what little strength remained and tried to reach for Amelia, because she wasn’t even looking at me. Her head was bowed, her shoulders sagging as though she was cradling her grief already.
Merton tapped her, and she lifted her head. They both leaned in close, waiting for whatever words I could give them. I dragged at the strength scattered through my body, forcing a single breath of sound past my lips.
“C…cave.”
“What?” Merton bent closer, his ear almost at my mouth.
“Did you say cave?” Amelia asked, eyes searching mine for certainty.
Thunder rumbled above, lightning flaring across the sky.
I nodded.
“You want us to take you to the cave?” she asked, confirming.
I nodded again, firmer this time.
Amelia looked at her brother, horror flickering across her face, before she shook her head. “No. We can’t. We can’t go anywhere near there. It’s dangerous—”
I clutched her hand with every strength I could feed on. “Take me…take me there.”
“Sanora—”
Merton cut her off. Without another word, he shifted, lifting me carefully from the ground. My body dangled like a broken doll in his arms, but he was steady. He pulled me upright, slinging my arm around his neck, his other arm circling my waist to keep me anchored.
She shot to her feet, panic etched across her face. “Merton, what are you doing? We can’t take her there. She’ll die.”
“She’s already dying,” he said flatly, stating the truth neither of us wanted to hear. “She must have a reason. If we can’t save her, the least we can do is give her what she wants. Lucky us—it’s not far.”
Amelia exhaled a broken sigh, torn in two. But then she was at my other side, lifting my limp arm over her shoulder.
“Shouldn’t we pull the knife out?” she asked.
“Don’t touch it,” Merton snapped. “It’s the only thing keeping her alive. You pull it, she’s gone.”
Amelia’s arm circled my waist, bracing me against her body.
And then, slowly, they began to walk. Carrying me between them, step after agonising step.
I tried to move my legs, to match their rhythm, but I had nothing left. My body was boneless, drained, slipping in and out of consciousness. Every breath was a struggle, and I leaned entirely on them, letting them drag me to the one place I needed to reach.
A part of me longed to see Thrax. To hold him one last time. But I knew him. If he came, he wouldn’t let me do what needed to be done. If he came, he wouldn’t let me give him my soul, even knowing I’d end up dying either way.
As much as I loved and wanted to see him one last time, It was better not to. I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself if I died and left him to live on till eternity when I could’ve done something to free him.
A fat drop of rain splashed against my cheek. Then another. And then the sky broke open, rain pouring down in sheets, drenching us in an instant and soaking through my skin and into my bones.
“Fuck,” Amelia hissed, groaning with the strain as we tried to quicken our pace.
The cold sank into me, deeper than the knife ever could. My body trembled violently, each shiver a thief stealing more of my strength.
We walked. And walked.
And walked.
So long that I thought about giving up. But when I remembered who I was doing it for and how much he meant to me, I pushed forward.
Lightning flared, bright enough to blind, and a crack of thunder followed so violent it rattled the ground beneath us.
It was then I heard the screech.
My stomach dropped.
Creatures.
Selvanyra wasn’t done. If killing me had failed, then she would send her monsters to stop me from reaching the cave.
At all costs.
She was fighting till the end.
“What the fuck was that?” Amelia whispered, eyes darting around.
“Faster,” I croaked. “They…they’re coming.”
“Who?” she demanded, but even without an answer, she and Merton began to hurry. “Is something else after you?”
I didn’t answer. I couldn’t speak anymore. My strength was leaking out of me with every breath. My body shook, my vision flickering in and out, and all I wanted was to rest. To sleep.
Minutes dragged into eternity before we finally stopped.
“We can’t go farther,” Amelia said, crouching down with me. “One more step and we’re dead.”
They lowered me beneath the torrent of rain, my body sagging like a sack of stones. Amelia propped me against her chest, her hands supporting my weight.
Lightning split the sky again, and she quickly pointed ahead, over my head. “It’s far…but do you see it?”
The world went black again before I could locate it.
Another screech echoed in the forest, closer this time.
“What are those?” Amelia whispered.
Selvanyra’s creatures. Coming for me. I had to get to the cave all by myself before they reached me, I had to get to the cave before I shut down completely. I would really hate myself if I did.
I couldn’t let that happen.
With the knife still buried in my stomach, I moved.
“Sanora, don’t—” Amelia’s voice cracked as I dragged myself onto my hands and knees. My body couldn’t stand, so crawling was all I had.
The rain hammered me, the ground slick and uneven, moss and stones cutting into my palms and knees. The screeches grew louder. Footsteps, heavy and fast, shook the earth beneath me.
I knew going there was dangerous. Amelia had said one would rot if they stepped there, but all that clearly wasn’t enough to stop me as I crawled forward with no sense of direction, moving as fast as I could.
“Sanora, you’re...you’re within the perimeter...” I heard Amelia say, her voice distant and quiet. “...and you’re not rotting.”
Another lightning flashed, and I blinked the rain in my eyes away, taking advantage of the quick illumination to make out my path.
She was right. I was in the cave’s boundary. And I was intact.
I was still alive. The moment I crossed that unseen line, something shifted.
It was as if the cave exhaled into me, breathing a surge of strength I didn’t think I still possessed.
The numbness that had been creeping over my body receded; the deadened parts of me sparked awake one by one.
My limbs grew lighter, my chest fuller. I was moving faster now, almost alive again.
Instead of killing me, the cave’s surroundings were fortifying me, knitting threads of vitality through my veins. I could feel the faint, defiant pulse of life pressing against the knife still buried in my stomach.
This place recognised me. Or rather, it recognised her. Kalimetryna. Her essence remained here, woven into the very marrow of the grounds, and it answered me now.
Even though centuries had passed, the pieces she left behind still claimed this surrounding as hers, and it was wrapping me in the last of its strength.
My head snapped back sharply at the sound that cut through the air. Fear lodged itself high in my throat, leaving no space for breath.