Chapter 21
Chapter Twenty-One
Noah
If That’s Okay
Savannah freezes, her breath hitching in a way that makes me want to pull her into me and kiss her senseless, but she’s one sudden movement from bolting, and I’m worried that if she leaves now, I’ll lose her.
Not just this ridiculous proposal I threw out, but all of her.
I had this insane idea that this was how I could be with Savannah without it complicating things, if we just did a no strings attached, safe space kind of arrangement, but she keeps shutting me down.
And I want to respect that. I shouldn’t be pushing so hard, but every excuse sounds like she’s convincing herself more than me, and though her words are cutting, her body keeps pulling closer. Responding to mine.
“What?” She’s breathless, and it does absolutely nothing to calm the semi I’m sporting.
“I bet I can make you come,” I repeat. “That you’re not broken, he just didn’t know what he was doing.”
“And you do?” She looks at me expectantly.
I like her feisty so much more than sad and shutting down.
“One way to find out.”
“I don’t want to be your pity fuck, Noah.”
I’ve never heard her curse before, but now she’s fighting tears, and I feel like the biggest jerk. I wish I’d never said anything and just left her in the library, but now the damage is done. There’s no way but through.
I let go of the hand I’ve been holding and brush my thumbs against her cheeks, my fingers at the back of her neck, itching to run through her hair.
“What are you doing?” She’s pissed off and breathless, which shouldn’t be a turn on, but my dick reacts.
“I’m going to kiss you,” I tell her. “If that’s okay.”
“You don’t—”
“Because I want to,” I cut her off, my eyes on hers, and I think she stops breathing.
Maybe I do too, before she nods almost imperceptibly, but I’m so trained on her that it’s like I feel the intention before it happens, the permission in her hazel eyes, and I go for it.
I press my lips gently against hers, tasting the honey-flavored lip balm I’ve gone hard watching her apply, and I’m not sure if I groan or manage to keep it on the inside, but then I bring my tongue to her lips and she lets me in at the same time as her arms wrap around my neck, pressing her body to mine.
She shoves her hands into my hair, and I moan out fucking loud.
The kiss grows hungry and it’s everything I thought it would be yet a million times better.
I need to pull away before it goes any further, but first I nip her bottom lip and pull her closer, so she feels what she does to me.
“You are so unbelievably gorgeous, Savannah. I’m not offering a pity fuck, I’m asking for a chance at what I have no right to want, or deserve, but you should be writing from experience.
Not because you can’t make it up, but you shouldn’t have to.
” I lift her chin so I can look her in the eye and add, “You deserve to be worshipped, and I want to be the one who does it.”
I blame the kiss that addled my brain for that declaration, way too honest for my comfort levels.
But Savannah needs to know she’s wanted.
And honestly, now that I’ve put these doubts in her head, I’m terrified she’ll find someone else.
A guy who will sweet talk her and offer what I can’t.
Which is what I should want for her. I do.
But I don’t want to spend the rest of my life in jail for murder, and I doubt I’d be able to show any restraint.
So I lay it all out. I can’t have the girl and all that comes with it but fuck if I won’t fight to be the one who gets whatever pieces she’s willing to give.
She takes a step back, fingers pressed to her lips, which must be tingling like mine are, before she looks at me, right in the eye, and says, “I need to get to work.”
Then she’s gone before my heart can tell my brain to run after her.