Chapter Thirteen
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
I parked in front of the bail bonds office and saw Lula and Connie at the big storefront window. They were still on their feet when I walked in.
“Well?” Lula said. “Today is the day. What is it? We’ve been waiting for you to get here. We thought you’d never show up. What’s the result?”
“It was a negative result, which is meaningless at six days. I’ll try again at ten days.”
“You’re killing me,” Lula said. “I can’t wait four more days to find out if I’m going to be an auntie. Are you sure the test was negative? Maybe you should take another one just in case you got a defective pee stick.”
“The tests are expensive, and anyway, I don’t have time. I’m going after Jug today. I’m ninety-nine percent sure he’s at the vineyard on Long Island. I want to get on the road at nine or ten o’clock, so I miss the worst of rush-hour traffic.”
“I guess I’m going with you,” Lula said.
“I guess you are,” I said. “I’m counting on this being a day trip. It’s a three-and-a-half-hour drive, so it’ll be a long day, but it’s better than staying overnight.”
“Do you have a plan?” Lula asked.
“Not exactly. We need to find out how many people are in the house with him. And we need to do surveillance, but the way the house is set on the property is going to make it difficult to see anything.”
The front door opened and closed, and Herbert walked over. “I saw all the cars out front so I thought I would come in to say hello.” His eyes went to the open doughnut box on Connie’s desk. “Are those bakery doughnuts? I love doughnuts. There’s nothing like a doughnut in the morning. I mean, I try to eat healthy, but there’s nothing wrong with a doughnut once in a while, right?”
“Help yourself,” Connie said.
“I’m a sprinkles kind of guy,” Herbert said. “This is a problem because there’s one with chocolate sprinkles, and one with rainbow sprinkles, and one with pink sprinkles. I’m secure in my manhood so I could eat the pink sprinkles if I wanted but I’m not sure I’m in a pink-sprinkles mood today.”
“Oh, for the love of Pete, just pick a doughnut,” Lula said.
Herbert snatched up the doughnut with the rainbow sprinkles. “This doesn’t mean that I’m gay,” he said. “Not that there’s anything wrong with being gay. I have some friends who are gay.”
“Nobody cares,” Lula said.
“I heard you talking about planning your day when I walked in,” Herbert said. “You said you were going after Jug. Is that Bruno Jug, the pervert? I heard about him on the news last night.”
“Yeah, but he hasn’t been proved to be a pervert yet,” Lula said. “He’s just up on tax evasion charges. He’s a tycoon in the fruit business and we know him personally.”
“I see his trucks all over the place,” Herbert said. “I wouldn’t mind meeting him. I never met a fruit tycoon.”
“We’re going after him, but it’s a secret,” Lula said. “He’s hiding out and nobody knows where he is but us.”
“Wow. That’s so cool. Can I go with you? I wouldn’t be any trouble. I’d just stand back and watch. Is this going to be a takedown like on Dog the Bounty Hunter ? That was a great show. I used to watch that all the time. It was almost my favorite show. So, what’s the plan? How are we going to get this guy?”
“We don’t know,” Lula said. “Stephanie hasn’t told us yet. We got a problem on account of it’s a vineyard with a mansion and maybe bodyguards.”
“You need to do surveillance,” Herbert said.
“Yes!” Lula said. “That’s exactly what Stephanie was thinking, but she don’t know how. The property setup is a problem.”
“You need a drone,” Herbert said.
We all went raised eyebrows. He was right. We needed a drone. “Anyone know how to fly a drone?” I asked Lula and Connie.
“I tried once,” Lula said. “It isn’t that easy.”
“I can fly a drone,” Herbert said. “I’m an expert drone flyer. People are always complimenting me on my drone flying. I use one for work sometimes.”
“What kind of work do you do?” Lula asked.
“I’m an entrepreneur,” Herbert said. “I do a little bit of this and a little bit of that. Sometimes I’m thinking about a new project, and I want to see its surroundings, so I put a drone up.”
Just shoot me. An entire day with Herbert. Could life get any worse? An image of Zoran flashed through my head. Yes, I thought. Life could get worse. I could be the woman on the floor in the laundromat. I took a moment to make a mental adjustment. This won’t be so bad, I told myself. I could endure a day with Herbert if it meant capturing Jug. And to that end, a drone would be hugely helpful. So, take a deep breath and get on with it.
“We think Jug is at a location on Long Island,” I said to Herbert. “I was planning on leaving now, and depending on how things go, we might not get back to Trenton until late tonight.”
“Oh boy, this is going to be great,” Herbert said. “A road trip. I always wanted to see Long Island. A lot of rich people live there. I’m interested in rich people. I’ll go home and get my drone and I’ll be right back. I don’t live far away. I could bring my clarinet, too. I came to your apartment building to serenade you, but I’m not sure you heard me. The police came and made me leave. I guess it was pretty late for some of the people in your building, but still, who doesn’t like to hear a clarinet? I was playing show tunes. Everyone likes show tunes. And some Paul Simon. I’m a real Paul Simon fan. I was coming back from work, and I saw you had a light on in your bedroom, so I went and got my clarinet. Most people like when I play but I guess someone in your building complained. It only takes one person and the police have to come.”
“How late was this?” Lula asked.
“It was around midnight,” Herbert said.
“What kind of work were you doing at midnight?” Lula asked him.
“Entrepreneurial. I can’t go into details. It’s sort of secret.”
Herbert left and I sent Lula off to get cupcakes.
“Do you really think cupcakes are going to lure Jug into your car?” Connie asked me.
“Can’t hurt,” I said. “Besides, last time I saw him, I promised him cupcakes.”
“How are you going to get into the vineyard?”
“It’s got a gated driveway, but it would be easy to walk onto the property. Just have to scoot around some hedges. If it’s Jug and his wife and vineyard personnel on-site, it might not be so bad. I might be able to talk Jug into coming with me. If Lou and his henchmen are there it’ll be more complicated.”
“Do you think it would be better to take Ranger with you?”
“No. I don’t want this to turn into a guns-drawn standoff. I need to be sneaky.”
“Sneaky is always good,” Connie said. “I’m in favor of sneaky.”
Herbert was in the back seat, directly behind me. He was leaning forward, and he was breathing on my neck. It was high school all over again. We were a half hour out of Trenton, not even to the Jersey Turnpike, and I was already driving with teeth clenched.
“I got two dozen doughnuts,” Lula said. “There’s a box for Jug, and there’s a box for us. Anyone want a doughnut?”
“Yes,” I said.
“What kind?” Lula asked.
“Any kind!”
Lula gave me a maple glazed, handed a chocolate covered back to Herbert, and took a blueberry for herself. She surfed on her phone while she ate her doughnut.
“Look here,” she said. “Robin Hoodie just uploaded a new video. Last night he cleaned out a drugstore. I guess that makes sense. Homeless people need aspirin and Band-Aids just like anybody else. They look happy to get all that stuff but not as happy as when Robin Hoodie drove in with the taco truck.”
“Eugene is going to have his bail bond revoked,” I said. “It’s not smart to commit another crime when you’re out on bail.”
“I’ve been following this case,” Herbert said. “It’s actually very interesting from a legal point of view. The police have tied Mr. Fleck to the UPS truck hijacking. I believe they have physical evidence linking him to the truck.”
“Fingerprints,” Lula said.
“From the limited knowledge I’ve acquired from the press, it seems to me the police can only charge him with that one crime,” Herbert said. “I haven’t read about any evidence that would connect Mr. Fleck to subsequent Robin Hoodie escapades.”
“I never thought about it,” Lula said. “You might be right.”
“Maybe the police have evidence that they aren’t sharing,” I said.
Herbert nodded. “Very possible.”
“Robin don’t seem to be stealing packages off people’s porch anymore,” Lula said. “I guess that wasn’t a real efficient use of his time.”
“Hijacking trucks and breaking into stores is also more challenging,” Herbert said. “It requires some skills and I imagine it would appeal to someone who enjoyed the game.”
“Like he keeps needing to one-up himself,” Lula said.
“Yes,” Herbert said. “There’s also the entertainment aspect. This person might enjoy having an audience. This is a phenomenon we’re seeing with the explosion of social media. One can in essence become famous by creating one’s own personal reality show.”
“So, you think this Robin Hoodie thing is all about a big ego trip,” Lula said.
“I was presenting one possibility,” Herbert said. “I would like to think Robin Hoodie has the best of intentions. That he cares about the homeless, and he’s found a way to help while drawing attention to the problem. I prefer to see him viewed as a hero.”
“Eugene doesn’t look like much of a hero,” Lula said.
“Those are the best kind,” Herbert said. “Peter Parker is the perfect example.”
“I like him better when he’s Spider-Man,” Lula said. “Sometimes he’s kind of wimpy when he isn’t in the suit.”
“You’ve put some serious thought into Robin Hoodie,” I said to Herbert.
“I think a lot of serious thoughts. I have a genius IQ,” Herbert said. “I haven’t actually been tested but I’m sure I’m exceptionally smart. And I’m smart in many directions. I’m musically adept and I’m superior at analyzing situations. Plus, my mechanical and electronic skills are like nothing you’ve ever seen before. I can even work my Apple products after they’ve been updated. And I can follow product instruction sheets for kitchen appliances. Once I fixed my Dyson after it became clogged with dirt.”
“That’s impressive,” Lula said. “Can you work your TV?”
“Mostly,” Herbert said. “Voice recognition doesn’t like me and sometimes I get a blank screen for no reason, but I’ve been able to crack the code that gets rid of closed captions.”
“I wouldn’t mind knowing how to do that,” Lula said.
“You need to have extremely quick eye-to-hand reflexes,” Herbert said.
I got onto the New Jersey Turnpike at exit 7 and headed north. This felt like progress. In less than an hour, I’d be crossing the George Washington Bridge and I’d be in New York. Then I’d take the Cross Bronx Expressway and the Throgs Neck Bridge to Long Island. Once I got to Long Island I hadn’t a clue. I was at the mercy of the GPS lady.
I had half a plan for when I got to the vineyard. If I could separate Jug from the herd, I thought I could talk him into coming back to Trenton. We’d get back late, after the court was no longer in session, but I might be able to find someone who could set bail. Then I had to find someone who would write the bond since Vinnie wasn’t interested. If I got Bruno alone and couldn’t talk him into returning to Trenton, I’d stun gun him. After I stun gunned him I’d have to move to New Zealand because when he came around, he’d put a contract out on me.
I’d set out this morning feeling confident that I knew what I was doing. The closer I got to Bruno Jug’s lawyer’s house, the less confident I felt. This could turn out to be a big wild goose chase. I suspected that Lula and Herbert were having similar feelings because we were approaching the North Fork of Long Island and conversation had stopped. Lula was sitting next to me with her hands clenched in her lap, staring straight ahead. I had no idea what Herbert was doing in the back, but he was quiet, and he was no longer breathing on my neck. For all I knew, he could have fainted or had an aneurism.
“This isn’t a big commercial winery,” I said. “Connie did some research for us, and I did some more last night. Jug’s lawyer, Anthony Bordelli, owns thirty-one acres. He uses twelve acres for his grapes. There are several outbuildings on the property and a large mansion-type house and a smaller guest mansion. We’re coming up on his driveway. I saw it on Google. There’s a small sign at the start of the driveway and an elaborate iron gate. You can’t see the house from the road. He has the property surrounded by a greenbelt of trees and shrubs.
“Here it is,” Lula said. “I see the sign. It says ‘ABCL Vineyard.’ And the gate is open.”
“ABCL are the initials for Anthony Bordelli and his wife, Charlotte Loch,” I said. I pulled to the side of the two-lane road and parked. “We need a place to launch the drone,” I said to Herbert.
“I’m on it,” Herbert said. “I’ve got Google Maps up on my laptop. We’re in an area of large houses set on fairly large pieces of land. Bordelli’s is one of the larger ones. Difficult to see because they all have these hedges bordering their property. It looks like there’s another vineyard backed up to Bordelli’s. If you take a left at the next road, we should be able to access it. The driveway doesn’t look gated. Looks like they have an outbuilding with a parking lot. Maybe it’s a wine store or a restaurant. It’s in a good location for the drone. It’s well within its one-mile range.”
I drove to the intersection, turned left, and almost immediately came to the driveway with a sign advertising wine tasting. I followed the drive to a parking lot and a rustic-looking barn-type building. There were a couple cars in the lot. There was a sign on the barn door that said OPEN . Beyond the barn I could see a vineyard.
I parked at the back end of the lot, away from the other cars. “Set up here,” I said to Herbert. “If someone comes asking questions, let me talk. I’ll say we’re from Wine Lovers and we’re doing a piece on North Fork vineyards.”
“I wouldn’t mind looking in the barn,” Lula said. “I might buy a bottle of wine or a cheese board or something.”
“Don’t talk to anybody,” I said. “I’ll text you when we’re ready to leave.” I called Connie, told her we were on-site, and asked her to check on the lawyer’s location. Was he at his Trenton office?
I hung up with Connie and watched Herbert assemble his drone. When he was done, he gave me an iPad.
“I have an app on the iPad that allows you to see in real time what the drone sees,” Herbert said. “I have a screen on my controller that shows me the same thing. I’ve got about an hour of flight time, and I’ve got a backup battery so I can recharge and still fly.”
Connie texted me that Bordelli was in his office and would most likely be in Trenton for the weekend. He was holding a political fundraiser at his Bucks County house on Saturday.
Herbert launched the bird and I saw it fly away, over the treetops. The drone cleared the trees and flew over an open area with a helipad.
“This is a really nice drone,” Herbert said. “It’s especially good for our purposes because it has a wide-angle lens. I’m going to take her over the main house and outbuildings at a relatively high altitude so we can get the lay of the land and see if anyone is out on the property.”
I’d been able to see some of this on Google Maps, but the drone had more clarity. We didn’t see any motion below the drone, so Herbert dropped it down and let it hover above the main house and guesthouse. A black SUV was parked in front of the garage. He moved the drone to the vineyards at the back of the property. There was a large outbuilding and a parking lot with several cars and trucks. Men were working in the rows of grapes.
“I went online and read about the growing season here,” Herbert said. “We’re at the tail end of grape harvesting. That’s probably why the gate was open. They’ve got workers going in and out. That could be to our advantage.”
He took the drone back to the main house and guesthouse, and we watched the screen. After forty minutes he brought the drone back, changed the battery, and sent it off over the trees.
Lula joined us. “It’s a real nice store,” she said. “I got to taste a bunch of wines and I got a couple bottles. And I got a T-shirt with the name of the winery on it and a ball cap.”
Lula currently was sporting a pink Afro, and I couldn’t imagine how she would get a ball cap on it. It was soft to the touch, but it was a lot of hair.
“We have motion at the main house,” Herbert said.
“It looks like Lou,” I said.
He crossed the drive court and went into the guesthouse. Minutes later he came out with Jug’s wife. They got into the black SUV and drove off.
“She’s going shopping,” Lula said. “She didn’t have a lot of time to pack on account of they hustled her out of the house to get on the helicopter. She’s going to Saks. There’s gotta be a Saks store on Long Island with all these rich people. She’s going to come home with a Gucci bag and some Chanel flats for starters. And she’s taking Lou so he can carry her bags.”
Herbert and I looked at each other and shrugged. Sounded reasonable.
“If I have any luck at all, that leaves Jug in the guesthouse all alone,” I said. “I’m going in.”
Herbert took what looked like an AirPod out of his pocket. “Wear this so I can talk to you. I’m going to stay here and keep watch. If you touch the button on the top you can talk to me.”
I’d worn a similar device when working with Ranger. He always had the newest and the best technology. I expected Ranger to have a variety of listening devices. I was surprised that Herbert would be carrying this gizmo around in his pocket.
“That’s like CIA gear,” Lula said.
“Yeah,” Herbert said. “I got it online when I got the drone. There were all kinds of accessories you could get. This was part of something they called a Spy Kit. I didn’t think much about it when I originally got it, but now I’m thinking I might change my life plan. I might want to be a spy instead of an undertaker. Spies have really cool stuff. It would be easy for me to be a spy. I already have some of the equipment and I’ve seen all the James Bond movies.”
I took the earpiece from Herbert. “I’m going to cut through the greenbelt to get to the guesthouse. I’m sure they have security cameras everywhere, so this is going to have to go fast. Once I give you the signal, you don’t want to waste any time picking me up.”
“You could take the path,” Lula said. “You can’t see it on the screen because of the trees. It’s like a cart path and it goes from the back of the store into the woods. They have a patio out back where you can sit with a glass of wine. A picnic table and some benches. I’m thinking people sit out there in the summer or on weekends when there’s more wine tourists, but there wasn’t anybody out there when I looked. I asked about the cart path and the lady handing out samples of wine said it was for the winery next door to bring bottles over. This store is like a co-op. It’s got wine from three local wineries.”
“Brilliant,” I said. “If I can persuade Jug to come with me, I’ll bring him on the path. It’ll be safer than bringing the car up to the guesthouse and running the risk of being seen and having the gate closed on us.”
I walked around the side of the barn and found the cart path cutting into the densely forested greenbelt. The paved path curved slightly and was perhaps a hundred feet long. I walked the path and paused at the tree line. A small grassy field was directly in front of me. It served as backyard to the guesthouse. The path took a right turn and continued on to the large outbuilding at the edge of the vineyard. I could hear the faint insect whine of the drone overhead and some muffled chatter from the men in the vineyard.
Herbert was in my ear. “I don’t see you,” he said.
I touched the talk button. “I’m at the end of the path through the woods. I’m looking at the guesthouse. I’m going to try the back door. If that doesn’t work, I’ll go around to the front.”
“No activity in the front,” Herbert said. “I’ll let you know if that changes.”
I crossed the field and tried the guesthouse’s back door. Locked. I walked around the house and tried the front door. Open. I stepped inside and looked around. I was standing in a small foyer. Living room in front of me. Dining room to the side. I could see a family room through an archway, and I assumed the kitchen was attached.
“Hello?” I called out. “Anybody home?”
Jug appeared in the archway. “What the heck?” he said. “What’s going on?”
“Remember me? Stephanie Plum.”
“How’d you get in?”
“The door was open.”
“Stupid bimbo wife,” Jug said. “Doesn’t know enough to lock a door.”
Mr. Big trotted up to Jug, stopped, and growled at me.
“That’s nice,” I said. “He remembers me.”
“You punted him halfway across my lawn.”
“I’m sorry. It was a reflex action. He was trying to kill me.”
“What do you want?”
“You didn’t get a chance to register for a new court date. I thought this would be a good time to try again.”
“This is a lousy time to try again. I’m not even in Trenton.”
“Trenton is just a short drive down the road. We can have you back here in time for a late dinner. And then you don’t have to worry about me showing up anymore. You have to admit, that would be good, right?”
“I don’t know,” Jug said. “I’m kind of getting used to you. Are you alone?”
“Lula is with me.”
“That’s the big fat Black girl with the giant hooters?”
“Yes, but don’t call her fat to her face or she’ll take you apart piece by piece.”
“Hah! She’s okay. She liked my ice cream.”
“So, what do you say? Are you going to come with me?”
“Maybe. I haven’t got anything else to do today. Nobody’s here. Everybody went back to Trenton except Lou, and he went shopping with the bimbo.”
“We brought cupcakes.”
“Seriously?”
“You didn’t get to eat any last time, so I brought new ones. I keep my promises.”
“I could use a cupcake.”
“I’m parked next door by the wine store. We can cut through the woods.” I touched the button on my earpiece. “Pack up. We’re on our way.”