Chapter 31
Chapter Thirty-One
Carlos dumped Eliana’s bag on the floor by the front door at his house.
It was nearly nine o’clock at night. She’d been admitted to the hospital now twice in just a few days—and had given him an earful as to how she felt about that all the way home.
That, and the fact that Patience was still there.
At least until the older woman’s blood pressure came down.
“I am not sleeping in your bed.” She set her hands on her hips.
He stared at her for a second. “Well, the couch will be a little crowded since I’ll be sleeping there. Unless you want to snuggle. You did say it was comfy.”
She looked about as exhausted as he felt.
He wanted to swoop her into his arms and reassure himself that she was alive—the Dreamer woman hadn’t killed her. And now that he wasn’t on shift anymore, he could keep her safe without having to focus on his job while he wondered what was happening to her.
“We do both need sleep,” he pointed out. Not really sure why he was determined to noodle her into reacting. “Could be fun to negotiate the couch together.”
Eliana’s hands slipped off her hips, and she flounced her way to his kitchen.
He’d have thought that was her being self-absorbed and dramatic, but right now he knew it was only the result of the day she’d had and how scared she was.
Everything that was happening was so far out of their control it wasn’t even funny.
But in his house, he could almost pretend they were safe, and none of it was happening.
Eliana straightened out of the fridge and slammed the door shut. “You have nothing to eat.”
“Are you hungry?”
“No, but is that the point?”
Carlos smiled, walking to the end cupboard and pulling down a big bag of sweet popcorn.
She hurried over and stuck her hand in, grabbing a massive wad. “You’re a lifesaver.” She tossed a handful in her mouth.
Carlos chuckled. “You and Luci used to go through bags and bags of this stuff.”
“I think it might be one of the few things we agreed on.” A note of grief entered her expression.
Carlos swallowed against the lump in his throat and ate a handful, even though he didn’t really like the stuff. “So you’re taking my room, and I’ll sleep on the couch.”
She eyed him. “Thanks.”
“You’re welcome.”
“You probably want to set up a guest room. For when you have family visit.”
Carlos wasn’t sure his dad was prepared to leave Salt Lake City but didn’t want to talk about it. “I don’t know if I want to stay. After we find Luci, anyway. Maybe it’s not always crazy here, but it’s a big city. There will always be something.”
“No burning desire to be a detective here? Or a lieutenant like your dad was?”
“No burning desire to eventually be the director of the Shrine?”
She shook her head, looking amused finally. “I doubt it. I was writing up my resignation letter before I went over to Patience’s apartment. Before…” She looked away.
“You took care of it.” He set the bag on the counter and put his hand on her shoulder. “The Dreamer is in custody now, and she’s the only one who got hurt.”
Eliana closed her eyes and nodded. “Thank God.”
“Agreed.” If Carlos was going to get his spiritual life back on the right footing, he could start by thanking God that things weren’t a lot worse.
“You weren’t really serious about sleeping on the couch together, were you?”
Carlos let his hand drop from her shoulder. “Just trying to get a rise out of you.”
“That’s what I thought.” She walked away again, this time to his couch. She slumped onto the seat and pulled over a pillow, hugging it to her front.
Carlos sat next to her, turned so he could face her with his knee up on the seat between them and his foot bent under his other knee.
“Pretty sure I learned that tactic from your parents. They’re always trying to nudge the other one out of a serious mood, or out of their own head, with a little levity. ”
She eyed him. “True. But is that really a healthy way of dealing with your problems?”
“It works for them. That doesn’t mean it has to work for you.”
She looked away and stared quietly at his blank TV.
He didn’t get the feeling she wanted him to turn on a show or movie.
But he didn’t know what she did want—and got the feeling that maybe he never had.
At least, it had been a long time since he knew her well enough to say he understood what was going on in her head.
“Are you going to stare at me intently all evening?”
Carlos’s lips twitched. “Sorry.” He shifted to lean back against the seat. “Maybe I’m sorry for a lot of things.”
It was out now.
Eliana looked over at him, but he didn’t look at her. She could stare at his profile the way he’d been doing with her. He just wished he knew what was going on in her head.
Finally, she said, “Like what?”
Carlos shot her a look. “You know what.”
“You’ve never been sorry about that before.”
“Maybe I’m starting to regret it. Now that I’m older and”—he coughed—“so much wiser.”
She snorted.
Carlos grinned. “Haven’t heard you make that sound in a while.”
“Yeah, yeah.” She shoved his arm gently. “So you’re starting to regret it.”
“Look…” He glanced down at his hands for a second, then faced her again.
“I was a dumb kid. I…I knew how you felt. I was flattered, but I wasn’t ready.
I was a moron who handled it badly. Whether my friends had anything to do with it or not, I shouldn’t have handled it like that.
I knew you were devastated. I’m surprised you even spoke to me afterward. ”
“My mom told me I had to forgive you. That I had no choice if I wanted to be right with the Lord.” She bit her lip. “It was hard, and I don’t think it ever really healed, but I don’t hold it against you.”
“I held things against you that I shouldn’t have. But only to insulate myself from how I really felt about you.” Carlos realized what he’d said too late to call it back. “I tried to find fault in who you are, but I was wrong. About everything.”
“What do you mean how you felt about me?”
“All the things you said in the cafeteria.”
She made a sound in her throat. “I shouldn’t have done it there.”
“You meant what you said, and it took guts to say it.”
“I declared my undying love for you in front of a room full of people. I told you that we were going to get married and have kids, and get a dog, and live happily ever after.” She lifted the pillow and put it over her face.
Carlos stared at her, thinking about the girl who’d said all those things. “She had guts.” He tugged the pillow down. “You seem so unsure of who you are. But that girl? She knew who she was. She knew who she was meant to be, and I took that from her.”
Eliana looked at him, and a tear rolled down her cheek.
“I should never have done that.” He reached over and thumbed the tear away. “I should have cherished who you are and taken care of how you felt about me.”
Her expression softened. “Carlos—”
A heavy knock pounded on the door.
Eliana flinched, backing up into the seat.
“I’ve got it. Stay here.” Carlos rose from the seat and pulled a pistol from the top shelf of the bookcase, checking the weapon. In the hall, he said, “Who is it?”
From behind the door he heard, “Tony. Open up.”
Carlos unlocked the door and as he pulled it open, he realized Eliana had come to stand by the living room door. “Hey.”
The head of security from the Shrine stepped into his entryway, clocking immediately that Carlos had a gun. He nodded. “Good. But you can stand down now.” He glanced between them. “The team assigned to finding Luci has something they need you to see.”
Eliana said, “What is it?”
At the same time, Carlos said, “What team?”
“Both of you should come with me.” Tony turned and stepped outside, leaving the door open with the chilly Chicago night air rushing in, making Carlos shiver.
He looked down at his socks. “Guess I’ve gotta put my boots on.”
Half an hour later, sitting beside Eliana in the back of the town car she’d told him was technically hers now, Carlos was all the way caught up on the Shrine’s Board of Governors search for Luci.
Not that he wasn’t grateful, but…how could they not have an ulterior motive?
This was Dominatus they were talking about.
“I know this street.” Carlos recognized the name he saw on the street sign but couldn’t recall where he’d seen it before.
Tony nodded. “It’s where the FBI was surveilling the Reverence Sisters.”
“Why are we here?” Carlos wanted to reach for Eliana’s hand, for moral support, but didn’t want to get rebuffed. She hadn’t said much on the drive over, but then again, he didn’t really think they’d be rehashing or continuing their conversation in front of Tony.
“Luci was here. We’ve confirmed that from DNA evidence found in the house.” Tony pointed at Carlos’s door. “I’ll show you what we found.”
Carlos got out first, his stomach sinking. Certain that Luci was dead. Because otherwise, why would they be here?
Eliana got out next, followed by Tony.
A car drove by them and pulled in front of another house on the street, where a woman and two kids got out and headed for their front door. As a cop, Carlos knew more than most how evil lurked right alongside good people going about their lives with no idea what their neighbors were really up to.
He observed the dank-looking house. Peeling shutters. Boarded-up upstairs windows, and weeds throughout the front yard. “So the feds have had this place under surveillance?”
Tony led them to the front door. “That’s part of why I wanted you to see it.”
Carlos wanted to protect his sister, but she’d always made her own way through the world.
She’d been older and out of the house before he even graduated high school.
No way to rein her in or exercise any control over her.
Even his dad had found it impossible. After their mom passed away, she just…
broke. Like something clicked inside her and was never put right again.