Chapter 27
For three weeks,I live and breathe Lux. A few days after the miscarriage, she was cleared to go back to class, and slowly, she began getting stronger, both physically and emotionally. She already has the color back in her cheeks, and just seeing the life come back into her has filled me with relief.
It’s sunset now, and Lux and I are lying on the beach below Rush House in our bathing suits. We could have gone to any beach in Malibu, but there’s something special about this spot, this beach.
“This is where we first met,” I say, lying on my back, staring up at the shifting clouds, hands braced behind my head. “Do you remember?”
Lux pops up onto her elbow, facing me. “How could I forget?” she says with a laugh. “You were such a dick that day.”
I turn my head to look at her, lifting a critical brow. “You were trespassing.”
“Ugh, whatever.” She reaches out with her free hand and brushes the sand off my abs. “Do you know what I was thinking that day, before we stumbled on your very creepy ritual?”
I study her face. “What?”
Her gaze falls to her hand as she starts tracing patterns in my skin. “I was thinking how Exeter University West was a new beginning for me. It felt like I’d finally broken free of something.”
I pause, swallowing. “And how do you feel now?”
She shrugs, the tip of her finger brushing over my nipple. “Like I was right.” Her eyes climb up to meet mine. “It was just a little…delayed. I had to make it through a few more trials first.”
I roll over onto my side, and her hand falls away. I prop my head up onto my palm, so we’re face to face. “You’re so incredibly strong, Little Rabbit. It’s what I first recognized in you. That strength set you apart in a sea of beautiful faces.”
She half-smiles like she’s embarrassed by my confession. She reaches up to touch my chest again. “There were a couple of moments when I didn’t feel strong,” she says, her eyes softening.
I take her hand and bring it up to my lips. We’ve both been through so much, but losing the baby, in particular, hit us both pretty hard. And we’ve never really talked about it. Maybe because it’s just too raw still. But my therapist would tell me, we have to talk about the hard things.
I kiss her hand, then put it down, and brush my fingers over her flat stomach. She’s wearing a white bikini that conforms to her curves in a way that sets my blood on fire.
“How are you feeling?” I ask quietly.
Pushing out a heavy breath, she rolls back onto her back, looking up at the sky. “Physically? Fine. Like nothing happened.” She swallows, and blinks, a single tear rolling down her cheek. “Emotionally?” She turns her head to look at me. “I’m getting better. What about you?”
I feel a thread tug on my heart whenever I think about the baby we lost, which is wild because prior to meeting Lux, fatherhood wasn’t even a thought for me. And I know we’re young. We have so much life ahead of us. But I still grieve that tie to Lux—that tiny person that would have been both of us.
“When I found out you were pregnant…” I pause, searching for the right words to express the complex feelings swirling inside me. “I should have been scared, I guess, but I wasn’t. I felt…hopeful, I guess, that something beautiful might come out of so much darkness.”
She nods but doesn’t say anything.
The doctor told us pregnancy loss is pretty common, and that anything could have caused it. Lux was under a lot of stress, and I half-wonder if that played a role. But we’ll never really know.
I half-roll on top of her, pressing my body to hers, the pad of my thumb brushing away her tears. “Just promise me one thing,” I say, looking down at her.
Her throat moves as she swallows again. “What?”
“Promise me, years from now, when the time is right, we’ll create something beautiful again.”
She smiles up at me, and I swear to God, that look on her face makes my chest ache. This girl is everything. “I promise.”
We lay there for another few minutes, watching as the sun slowly sinks into the ocean. The wind starts picking up, and it’s getting cold, so we walk back to Lux’s tiny dorm room, where we’ve been holed up for the last few weeks.
On our way up to her room, we stop by her mailbox and inside there’s a thick manila envelope sticking out. Lux grabs it with a questioning look and reads the return label. “What’s this? It’s from a lawyer’s office here in Malibu.”
Oh, shit.
I shrug, and grab the rest of her mail, tucking it under my arm, then I grip her elbow and guide her to the elevator. Once we’re inside her room, she sits on the bed, crosses her legs, and tears the manila envelope open.
My mind scrambles for some excuse to leave. I really shouldn’t be here when she reads the documents inside that envelope.
She scans the cover letter quickly, her brows pinched. Then she pulls out the thick stack of papers, and holds it up, looking at me, confused. “What the hell is this?”
“Didn’t you read the letter?” I ask, leaning against the desk.
“Yeah, but it doesn’t make sense. This lawyer says you’re transferring Rush House into my name.”
I nod. “Yup, that’s the gist of it.”
She shakes her head, tossing the packet and envelope aside. “I can’t accept this. Rush House is a multi-million dollar estate, and it’s been in your family forever.”
I shrug. “A century and some change.”
“Exactly.”
Taking a step forward, I pull her up onto her feet, so she’s standing toe-to-toe with me, a stern look on her face.
“Lux.” I thread my arms around her waist, relishing the warmth of her body. “Please. Let me give this to you. Think of it as a really expensive promise ring.”
She places her hand on my chest. “It’s your legacy, Roman. And one day, you can pass it down to our kid. How about that?” She gestures to the papers on the bed and shakes her head. “But this…you have to stop punishing yourself, and trying to atone for everything that’s happened.”
I rest my chin on top of her head and sway a little, just absorbing her. “I want to know you’re taken care of, no matter what,” I say.
Pressing her cheek to my chest, she inhales deeply. “Then just…promise you’ll never leave me.”
I pull back a little, and look down at her, tilting her chin up with the crook of my finger. “Baby, you couldn’t get rid of me if you tried. That ship has sailed.”
She smiles at that. “Promise?”
“Pinky swear.” I hold my pinky finger up.
Her eyes go wide in mock surprise as she hooks her pinky around mine. “Oh, the pinky swear! Now I know you’re serious. Damn.”
She never ends up signing the papers, allowing the deed to Rush House to be transferred into her name, but over the next couple weeks, she does encourage me to enroll back into classes at ExU. And given my family’s connection to the university the administration was more than willing to skirt protocol and allow me to re-enroll mid-term.
My reign as a Sacred Son is still over, though. There’s too much darkness surrounding the Burning Crown, and I can’t risk Lux getting mixed up in society drama again.
Still, the guys will always be my brothers, and I’d lay down my life for any one of them. But if I want a calm, and happy life with Lux, then I have to put distance between me and anything society-related.
So instead of moving back into Rush House, Lux and I find a little apartment overlooking the water, somewhere we can be alone. Somewhere we can heal, and get lost in each other. All we need is the time and space to build something new and untainted together.