Chapter 20 Riley #2
When they reach the sunken garden she turns his head away from the bloodstained chair.
‘We just got to get down there, ok?’ She lowers him gently by the arms then hands him the flashlight.
She tries to let herself down slowly but her fingers go weak and lose their grip. Riley falls hard to the earth.
‘Riley? Riley?’ Oliver’s face is shadowed and worried as he trains the flashlight on her.
‘It’s ok,’ she says, recovering her breath. ‘We just get up again, right?’
‘Right,’ he says. ‘This place is fun. And it smells nice.’
‘It sure does,’ Riley says after a moment. She pushes herself upright with a grunt. ‘Give me the flashlight and hold my hand. Don’t let go, ok?’
Oliver nods. Together they push through the lilac and into the tunnel.
The walls are rough, carved through limestone.
Mica glitters in some places on the walls.
It’s probably the course of a long-gone river.
Riley sees a pile of deer droppings on the rock floor and feels another wash of relief.
Whatever this passage is, living things use it.
Oliver and Riley walk for a time, hand in hand. It’s good just to be together. The torchlight moves in a ball of yellow on the path ahead.
‘Riley,’ Oliver says, eventually. ‘I didn’t mean to—’
‘Oliver Olive,’ she says. ‘You didn’t want to lie and that’s a good thing. Promise me that you’ll never worry about that again. You didn’t do anything wrong. Ok?’
‘Ok.’ He holds her hand even tighter.
‘I want to tell you some things,’ Riley says. ‘They’re really important. Are you ready?’
She feels him nod.
‘Firstly,’ Riley says, ‘I should have taken you to a doctor, to look at your leg. It’s still not good. I can smell it. So the first thing you have to do is go to a doctor. Ok?’
‘Ok,’ he says. ‘Yeah, it does kind of hurt.’
‘You’ve been really brave.’ She swallows. ‘Secondly, Mom loved you very much, and it wasn’t her fault, all the stuff that happened at the end. She was sick. All she had for you was love. As for me, I love you so much that it takes up my whole body. Ok?’
‘Ok.’
‘Sometimes, in your life, people will tell you that they can save you. They can’t. They just want something.’
‘Ok ok ok!’ He kicks a pebble.
‘Stop that. And never,’ says Riley, ‘never ever smoke. Ok? Never.’
‘I won’t!’ Oliver says, wounded.
Riley swipes her eyes again. ‘And never buy anything from the top shelf of those small non-chain grocery stores. The top shelf is always out-of-date stuff. You’ll be able to tell from the dust. Always buy at eye level.
That’s the stuff they replace. Ok?’ She is shaking now.
She can smell fresh air ahead, the woods. They are nearly there.
‘Riley,’ Oliver whispers, ‘is it going to be ok?’
‘Of course,’ she says. ‘Let’s get out of here. You want to look at some stars?’
The tunnel entrance is lined with rough briar and tree roots. ‘Hold tight,’ Riley says. ‘Up we go.’ She boosts Oliver up and hauls herself up after. She thinks for a moment she won’t make it, but she does, just.
Above, through the rustling canopy, the stars are spilled burning across the sky. Riley feels lighter and lighter, like she’s about to float. Or fly.
‘We can take some time,’ she says. ‘Let’s wait ’til dawn.’ It’s not far off, she can feel it in the air. She sits on a boulder. ‘Shall we tell stories?’
‘Yes!’ Oliver sits beside her and lies in her lap. ‘The one about how I was born!’
‘Yes. That’s a good one. Ok. Once upon a time, there was a woman who wanted a baby so much, it filled her every moment and thought. She wanted a little boy with green eyes …’
Oliver listens, eyes closing. Riley puts her arms around him, holding him steady at her side so that his sleep is deep and undisturbed. The east turns pink and pale blue. Riley waits until there’s good light, enough to walk easily by, then she wakes Oliver gently.
‘It’s time.’
‘Ok.’ He rubs his eyes and yawns.
‘This is the last thing.’ Riley takes the compass from her pocket and presses it into his hand.
‘Forget all of this. I mean it. Everything. Tell them you’ve lost your memory.
Don’t ever think about this place, or me ever again.
Forget Nowhere, forget the name Riley and especially the name Oliver.
Become new. You can have a wonderful life and be happy. I know it.’
‘Riley,’ Oliver whispers, ‘what are you doing?’
‘I had my chance,’ she says. ‘It’s done now. Too many people have died. I’m going back and you’re going on without me.’
They were still just within hearing when it began, so Riley caught the sound as she and Oliver walked through the woods towards Nowhere House – the screams from the stables. She knows they’re all dead.
She accepts it, now, that death follows her. Not her own it seems but that of others. Riley spreads death wherever she goes but she won’t let it touch her brother.
She shows Oliver the compass. ‘You follow this. When it points here, you go this way, ok? Follow this part, to the left of the arrow. You’ll get to the main trail. Find a grownup. A good one. There are good ones. You’ll be able to tell.’
‘No.’ Oliver’s face twists. ‘I won’t go! You’re not allowed to leave me alone!’
‘It’s the only thing I can do.’ She holds him one last time as he beats at her with his fists.
‘You come!’ he screams. ‘You and me together, like always …’
‘I’m a murderer, Oliver. Do you know what that means?’
He nods, swallowing. ‘Yes. The lion man. Cousin. And—’ his voice catches, wet. ‘All of them in the stables.’ He claws at her, grasping fistfuls of her hair, hanks of her clothing. ‘I don’t care, Riley,’ he whispers.
Riley strokes his head. ‘But someone has to look after them.’
‘Who?’ he asks. ‘There’s no one left.’
‘The children. They don’t have anyone else.’
‘They DIED,’ Oliver shouts. ‘I need you!’ The hurt in his small face is so strong that Riley staggers.
‘I’m no good in the real world,’ Riley says. ‘I’m hardly a person anymore. I can make a difference here.’
‘You’ve gone weird, Riley. Please, no. Please.’
‘Oliver Olive.’ She reaches gently to the nape of his neck and unfastens his bone necklace. She ties it around her own throat. It hangs so heavy that she can hardly breathe. ‘You need a real life. It’s over, you and me.’
‘It’s supposed to be just you and me,’ he whispers. ‘Like you always say. Just you and me.’
‘Time to go.’ If he doesn’t, right now, she might change her mind.
‘I don’t love you anymore, Riley,’ Oliver says. ‘I don’t love you at all.’ He waits for her to take it all back.
She shakes her head. Tears spill hot down her cheeks.
‘I hate you,’ Oliver says quietly. ‘For real.’
‘I know.’ Riley turns him about and gives him a gentle push to the north-west.
Oliver stumbles then rights himself. He walks away, back hard, head hanging low. Riley watches until he’s out of sight, his slight figure lost among the trees. She can almost hear it, the sound of her heart cracking in two. She turns and goes back down into the earth, into the dark.
They are waiting for her just inside the mouth of the tunnel, the five of them. Their eyes each have a green glowing firefly at their centre. Hallie holds baby Una against her shoulder.
A voice says, ‘Mommy?’
‘I’m here, Rufus,’ Riley says. She takes Una gently from Hallie, holds her in the crook of her arm. The baby smiles up at her. ‘I’m going to look after you.’
They reach for her with eager arms.