Chapter 14
CILLA
I couldn’t believe I’d said that to him.
As if me having a scar was important in the grand scheme of things, but having a man right there had sent me down a rabbit hole of thoughts. I was alive, dammit. That was the important part.
At least for now.
Funny how being in the middle of the ocean was safer than anything else in my life. With a stranger who probably would prefer to boot me off his boat than deal with me inhabiting his space.
I started to roll onto my side to wallow, but the stupid staples pulled enough to steal my breath. And whatever those stitches were deep inside of me. Lucky me, scars inside and out.
I rolled onto my back and breathed through the pain.
I was alive.
I could survive some pain.
I bounced my head against the padding behind me. I winced as I tried to sit up. It was truly amazing how many muscles you used in your freaking leg just to sit correctly. The numbing agent was well beyond gone and now the wound felt more like one big gaping nerve.
The rocking of the boat made up for it. I tried to crane my neck to see more of the view, but I was in a crap position. And I didn’t want to call Locke to help me. Again.
I tried to shift my butt back on the couch, but the memory foam already conformed to my body.
He came back through the door with a big bowl of scrambled eggs and sliced strawberries on a smaller plate. “I figured we could share.” He frowned down at me. “What did you do to yourself?”
I sighed. “I’m stuck.”
He shook his head and put the food down on the table. “Want to try and sit on the bench?”
I huffed out a breath. “Yeah, maybe.”
He slid his arm under my knees and the other around my shoulder, lifting me into a princess carry.
I yelped and grabbed onto his neck. His hair teased the back of my hand.
I was afraid to meet his gaze. Instead, I focused on the overlong beard that hid half of his face.
It matched the raggedy hair that was fairly unkempt.
He was clean, but it was pretty obvious he was deep in the don’t-give-a-fuck of grooming habits.
My gaze finally lifted and found him staring at me.
His hazel eyes were steady and a bit bloodshot.
Green and gray with just a little gold swirled in there to make me think of the forest on the edge of my grandparent’s property.
Shadows and light living together. I’d gotten lost in that forest hundreds of times to avoid my mother.
She’d drop me at my grandmother’s place when she found the next guy to run away with. Then when she was heartbroken, she’s return and take me back, promising me she’d never leave me again.
I looked away from him, pushing the memory away. “Sorry you have to keep carrying me.”
He cleared his throat. “It’s fine.” He turned and gently settled me on the bench so I could stretch out my leg. I hissed out a breath when my full weight pressed on my leg. “Good?”
I swallowed down the wash of nausea. My hand shook as I pulled myself forward.
He absently stroked a hand down my back before he hustled over to the fridge and returned with a bottle of water.
I took it and drained half of it.
He pushed the strawberries in front of me. “Eat.”
I didn’t feel like it, but I needed the calories for the energy. I managed to choke down a few bites of eggs and half the strawberries before I pushed the plates away. My head pounded and my thigh was screaming.
“Okay, that’s it for you.” He scooped me up again and I grabbed onto his faded green shirt. Instead of settling me on the couch again, he walked up the stairs to where another deck spread out at the front of the boat.
The sun was high in the sky and barely a cloud in the sky.
The temperatures were already soaring, but I couldn’t help lifting my face up to the sun. The wind off the water was warm and comforting. He knelt on the bed-sized mat and set me down. “Be right back.”
He disappeared and I collapsed back to stare up at the sky. I knew eventually I wouldn’t be so weak, but right then I wanted to cry. I hated this so much.
He came back and I sniffled, dabbing at the corners of my eyes. He had an armful of cushions, blanket, and a ballcap. He dropped everything, then dug a bottle of sunscreen out of the pockets of his cargo shorts and tossed it at me. “The water magnifies the sun. You’ll burn quick.”
I caught it. “Thanks.”
He gave me a curt nod before setting up the cushions for me. He lifted me again and settled me into the middle of a nest, then handed me the cap. “Get some rest.”
With that last bit, he left me to go to the covered booth kind of thing. I glanced over my shoulder and could barely make out a steering wheel.
Were we sailing somewhere?
Going back to the wharf?
A clatter sounded from below us, making me sit up. What the hell was that?
Were we sinking?
He poked his head out. “Just pulling up anchor. I figured I’d take you over to the lighthouse.”
“Oh.” I rarely got out to see the lighthouse near Baker’s Island. “That sounds nice.”
He didn’t reply, just settled himself behind the wheel.
The boat slowly glided forward as he headed back toward Salem.
He ran around the edges of the boat to release the sail.
Some of it was mechanical, but there were a fair bit of cranks that he efficiently worked until two sails billowed in the wind.
He quickly hopped back into the captain’s seat, sunglasses hiding his gaze. His focus was on the sails as he steered into the wind. It propelled us forward, faster than I was expecting. I gasped a little as my leg pulled, but the discomfort faded quickly as I lifted my face to the sun.
The beach had nothing on a boat.
Why had I taken so long to actually get on one? The ferry was one thing, but this was so much better. I drew in a deep breath of sunny sea and for the first time since the attack, I finally felt my muscles relax without the help of drugs.
I stacked my arms behind my head and drifted into half sleep. I could hear the flaps of the sails, the wake of the water, the hum of the engine and it lulled me into a calm I’d never known before.
A shadow brought me back around.
“You’ll miss the view.”
I opened my eyes. Locke’s broad shoulders and tanned skin were completely on display. I definitely wasn’t missing a view. I shaded my eyes. “Are we close?”
“We’re there.” He knelt beside me, scooped me up, and lifted me with little more than a grunt. He brought me to the nose of the ship, letting me slide down the front of him until my feet touched the deck. He turned me toward the railing and braced me against it, with a hand on either side of me.
My breath backed up in my chest. The wind off the sea and the heat of him at my back instantly made my skin tingle. I tried to focus on the lighthouse with its traditional white and black.
His beard brushed my temple. “Do you want to go into port, or stay on the water?”
“Water,” I said quickly. “Just like this.”
He pulled back enough that I was standing on my own. He hovered close behind me to make sure I didn’t fall. Tears pricked again. It had been so long since someone had bothered to take care of me.
And this near stranger had stepped up so many times now.
Without complaint—or at least much of one.
Steady and quiet, his presence was more than enough of a blessing. Where would I be without this man?
Dead.
I had little doubt of that.
A shiver skittered down my spine.
“You good?”
“Yes,” I said quietly. “Just thinking what if you hadn’t been there?”
His fingers cupped the tops of my shoulders and stroked down my arms briefly before returning to the railing. “I’d bet on you.”
I swallowed down the lump forming. I wasn’t so sure about that one.
We slowly drifted around the natural bay.
A few ships were out enjoying the same view, but everyone kept their distance.
The waves crashed along the heavy base of the lighthouse.
With each spray of white foam, it revealed the lichen and barnacle-ridden concrete.
The salt of the water pitted the concrete over time, giving it new grooves for the sea life to latch on to and grow.
Its own little symbiotic relationship of wear and tear and growth.
Much like the both of us.
I couldn’t begin to know what demons Locke was dragging around, but he made me feel safe.
I didn’t want to break the moment, but fatigue pulled at me.
I listed to the right, compensating as my muscles began to lose their fight. He slid an arm around my waist and turned me around. I couldn’t see what was going on behind the mirrored glasses and his face was devoid of any emotion. He lifted me up and headed back to where my nest was.
I gritted my teeth against the throbbing pain.
“Sorry,” he said quietly as he adjusted my hips to take the weight off my left side. His muscular arm brushed along the side of my breast, and I had to bite back a groan. Of pain or reaction, I wasn’t quite sure.
He quickly backed off and climbed out of my little oasis. Suddenly a shade unfurled from the captain’s area and cut some of the midday sun. He came back a few minutes later with a bottle of water and my pills.
I sighed. “I don’t want to take them.”
“Too bad.” He shook them out and transferred them to my fingers.
I dutifully swallowed them down and collapsed back on the cushions.
“Get some rest,” he said curtly. “We’ll be sticking here for the afternoon. Plenty of time to see what you want.”
I watched him shimmy around the boat until he was well hidden.
I draped an arm over my face.
The attraction was probably one-sided, but it was more intense than I’d felt with anyone. It had to be the hero angle. It would dissipate soon. It had to.
For now, the simple act of standing exhausted me.
The next thing I knew, the water was lazily lapping at the sides and the sun had slipped far lower in the horizon. I sat up and he seemed to have been watching for me since he came out as soon as I started moving.
He crouched beside me. “Feel better?”
“Not sure. Just feel beaten up overall.”