Chapter 4
CHAPTER FOUR
S o Nuala had heard of him. And even heard him. That was…interesting. He’d always gotten a subby vibe from her, but it hadn’t been Little-flavored. Not that kink-dar was failsafe by any means, but he thought his was decent.
Of course, just because she listened to DDlg and age play audiobooks didn’t mean she was a Little. He had a lot of fans who swore they were vanilla, and they just found it titillating. Or maybe they’d never been brave enough to try it, or found the right fit.
Hell, there was a reason why, even though he was sure deep in his soul that he could be a great Daddy, that he didn’t have a Little girl of his own. Even though sometimes it felt like thousands of audiobook listeners lusted after him. He’d played with some people, had given up on dating vanilla women a long time ago, and had had a few short relationships with kinky women, but he’d never found someone who fit him just right.
“So you’ve heard my work?”
“You’re my favorite,” she blurted, and another wave of crimson washed over her cheeks. “I mean…”
“Thank you,” he told her, warmth spilling out his heart and coursing all the way down to his pelvis. “That means a lot.”
And it did. More than any of the fan mail he’d ever gotten, even though some of those hit him in ways he didn’t expect. People who were seriously ill and found respite in his voice, people who had discovered and explored desires because of the stories he brought to life. Yeah, it could be fucking heady.
Remy was well aware he wasn’t in medicine or the military or a first responder. He wasn’t curing cancer and he wasn’t fighting for human rights or solving climate change. But goddamn, it felt good to know he was making people’s lives better all the same. Didn’t hurt that he could bring some of them pleasure while he was at it. Although some of the fan mail Kingston got about that was a little too explicit for his tastes. Yikes.
“So that’s why you know all this stuff,” Nuala murmured, looking dazed as hell, like he’d made a major revelation.
He gave her a few minutes to process, and just when he was about to check in with her, those bright blue eyes focused in on him like laser beams.
“So you know about it, but do you… You said kink but you… I…”
Such a sweet, ruffled girl, and he wanted nothing more than to smooth her feathers.
“Am I into Daddy kink and DDlg and age play in real life? Yeah. Like I said, I’m not the most experienced person, mostly because I haven’t found the right partner, but I just feel it.” He put a hand over his heart. “In here, you know? And man, do I get jealous of all those heroes in the books I read. Not just of the sexy stuff either, although that can be pretty hot. But I get envious of fictional characters, because I want a Little girl to look after and take care of and who looks at me like I’m the best thing that ever happened to her. Lucky bastards.”
Nuala giggled, and she was just so cute when she wasn’t wearing her skirt suits and heels or her clothes that looked like she was going hunting with the Queen. All that fucking tweed, Jesus.
“And what about you?” Remy asked.
Now that she knew Remy was Kingston Rockwood, it made every fantasy she’d ever had about either of them loom even larger. Not that Kingston and Remy were the same person—she could distinguish between fantasy and reality very well, thank you—but that voice . What she wouldn’t do to have more of that voice.
They say not to meet your heroes, and she would’ve thought the same went for objects of auditory lust, but Kingston being Remy was better than she could’ve hoped for. Or worse.
“Hmm, Nono?” he prodded, giving her a little squeeze. “What about you?”
Part of her wanted to be as honest with Remy as he’d been with her—it would only be fair, after all—but part of her seized in panic.
“I-I can’t talk about it,” she told him, red hot fear ripping through her body.
The blanket she’d so enjoyed now felt stifling, and she flailed around to escape. The part of her that was relishing being held told her to stop and enjoy what she had stumbled into, and what she probably needed after being ripped out of a scene like that. But the choked, burning terror was stronger. She was still disappointed when Remy let her go.
Nuala scrambled to her feet and crossed her arms over her chest. Maybe she could hold herself together. All the things Cabot had said to her about having to be perfect, needing to not have any skeletons in her closet, came crashing over her, and the searing heat was replaced by a flowing mountain stream fed by newly melted snow from the summit.
She’d risked enough by finding Anthony, and she couldn’t risk any more. Even if she wasn’t technically a Foster-Webb since the divorce, being one of them would stick with her for the rest of her life. Any wrong move she made, any scandalous thing she touched, would be fodder for the tabloids at best, and national mainstream media at worst. Her parents would see that.
“You should go. You need to go.”
Nuala swallowed hard and waited for Remy to get up and go back to his cabin. After a minute of studying her, he did stand but he didn’t leave.
“I’m not going anywhere, Nuala. You’re shaking, you’re white as a sheet, and you need someone to take care of you. Call Anthony if you want and I’ll wait with you until he comes back, but I’m not leaving you alone.”
“See?” the Little part of her whispered. “He’s not going to hurt you. Cabot and the Foster-Webbs don’t control you anymore. Let us have this one nice thing. Let us have a Daddy, if only for a little while.”
She wanted to, desperately. But grown-up Nuala needed assurances as much, and in some ways more, than Little Nuala. She’d made Anthony and Raven, the woman who’d introduced them, sign NDAs, for goodness’ sake.
“I need you to promise me something,” she said, her voice tight and wobbly at the same time.
“Anything,” Remy responded without hesitation.
That soothed something inside her, made her heart shimmer. Cabot could barely order at a restaurant without going over his selection with his attorneys first.
“I need you to not tell anyone about this. It’s very…personal and private, and I can’t have gossip flying around about me. I’ve had enough of the press at my door, and I don’t need any more attention. I’ve had more than enough to last a lifetime.”
Remy nodded. “I get it. It’s not the same because the stakes are lower, but I value my privacy too. That’s why I have a pseudonym for my romance audiobooks. And even if I didn’t have any concerns for myself, I would never violate your consent. Anything you tell me and anything I learn while I’m with you stays between us. You have my word.”
She knew what calculating men looked like, even when part of their calculations included appearing earnest. She’d been married to one of the most Machiavellian men in the world for over a decade, after all. Every fiber of her being was telling her Remy was sincere.
So while it still made her stomach churn, she went to him.