Chapter 8
NASH
Chipping the last bits of the linoleum off the floor, my phone pinged with a message.
Rowan
Sorry to hear you’re stuck with Raven. Hope she doesn’t drive you insane.
Glad you’re there to watch out for her, though.
How do I respond to that?
Guilt had been gnawing away at me for years. Not only for the feelings I had for my best friend’s little sister, but for lying and keeping it from him. He trusted me. Which made me feel horrible. My gut spasmed. I’m surprised I don’t have an ulcer.
No problem.
Just tell him. It’s really not that complicated.
No way. I couldn’t risk losing my best friend, the closest thing I have to a brother, over a woman. No matter how much I wanted her. It was just not worth it.
I’ll never forget watching Rowan beat the crap out of a couple of our teammates in high school for commenting about how hot his sisters were. Rowan made us all swear to never even think about dating his sisters. He’s not a violent guy, but he’s extremely protective of his sisters. And I can’t blame him.
I can protect Raven and be loyal to my friend by keeping my distance.
Easier said than done in a 500 square foot cabin.
After picking up the pile of flooring and dumping it into the trash, I got out the broom to sweep and see if I missed any spots. The stove and refrigerator had already been removed, which made my job a lot easier than having to work around them.
The storm continued to rage outside. Trees swayed violently in the wind. Thunder and lightning rumbled and flashed as the rain came down almost sideways. Even though the sun hadn’t set yet, the skies were dark as night. It was the worst storm I’d experienced in years, maybe ever.
Despite the darkness and raging storm, Raven sat in the far corner of the living room, intensely focused on her work. Her dog curled up at her feet, snoring loudly. He’d been nervous with the loud booms of thunder earlier, but he seemed to have been lulled to sleep by the steady rain.
All of a sudden, Raven started waving her right hand around, holding her nose with the other. Her face twisted in a disgusted expression.
“Munch, oh my gosh. What did you eat? It smells like something died. And I’ll be next if I don’t get some air.” She rushed over to the window, lifted it open all the way and put her face right up to the screen and inhaled deeply a few times. “Okay, I think I’ll live. Did Gladys leave a fan in here, by any chance?”
I plugged my nose. “I wish. It’s wafted over to me now. I wouldn’t be surprised if the paint begins to peel off the cabinets. If only we could use his superpower for good.”
“He’s got some powerful mojo, all right, but I don’t know if I’d call it a superpower.”
“He can clear a room without making a move. Very stealthy, if you ask me.”
Munch lifted his head and gave us an innocent look.
Raven fanned the air with her hand. “Yeah. Don’t give me that, Munch. You know what you did. I bet deep down you’re proud of it, too.”
We laughed. That was the first interaction we’d had that day that didn’t end in her getting angry at me. Progress.
Munch laid back down and resumed his nap. Raven returned her attention back to her picture.
I forced myself to look away.
The expression on her face an hour ago when I’d offered her water was about the sexiest thing I’d ever seen. Her face all flushed and her red lips forming a dreamy smile. I’d kill to know what she’d been thinking about.
I looked around to see what I could do next that wouldn’t disturb her. And to keep myself from staring at her. Maybe if I moved to the bedroom, I could concentrate.
The paneling needed to go, along with all the trim. The trim had to come off to get to the paneling, so that was where I’d start. I grabbed my hammer from my tool belt and began tearing away the baseboard trim along the bottom of the walls.
My mind flashed to the day I met Rowan. I had just moved to town, from the city. Didn’t know a soul. A scrawny, timid kid who was different from everyone else. Not only was I new, an outsider, but I was an only child of a single mom. The town looked down upon that sort of thing, whispered behind our backs as they speculated about our story. And in this tiny, predominantly Scandinavian town, my dark hair and complexion stood out, making me an easy target. That old queasiness I’d felt for so long returned, and my stomach roiled. Best to lock those memories away like I usually did.
We’d left the city to get out of our gang and drug-infested neighborhood. Mom didn’t want me to get sucked into that kind of life. Little did she know, or maybe she did, that I’d already been singled out, taunted, threatened, and beaten up. Right on our block.
I’d kept that to myself because she had enough to worry about, but I’d been more than happy to leave and start over in a new town. At least, until I’d started school. The bullying began the very first day. Like sharks, they smelled the fear and new blood in the water.
The biggest kid in school, sneering. A push to the chest, my butt in the dirt, stinging. Taunts ringing in my ears. I was tough. But alone. Until another kid slammed his fist into the bigger kid’s face, sent him running, and held out a hand to pull me up from the dirt. Rowan and I had been best buds and nearly inseparable ever since.
Once we became friends, the bullying stopped, but I still felt like the one square on Sesame Street. Which one of these just doesn’t belong here? Me.
Rowan’s been the most constant person in my life, besides my mom. Always there for me. And his whole family has always treated me like one of their own. I practically grew up on that farm. I owed them far more than I could ever repay.
I couldn’t disrespect them or break their trust by getting involved with Raven. No matter how badly I wanted to. Besides, I’d never be good enough for her, anyway. But that didn’t stop me from enjoying the view.
Peeking through the doorway, I caught a glimpse of her biting her lip in thought as she studied her paper. And then, leaning in toward the canvas, the tip of her tongue poked out the side of her mouth in rapt concentration.
I’d been admiring her from afar for years, but never in seclusion like this. Never without the possibility of someone walking in and ruining the moment.
Maybe it’s time to make your move. Tell her how you feel.
My chest tightened, and my body quivered inside. The moment I’d been dreaming about for so long was right in front of me. The racing of my heart made me pull back and lean against the wall, out of sight, to catch my breath.
No matter how powerful my feelings were for Raven, I owed it to Rowan—my scrawny-bullied-self owed it to Rowan—to stay away from her.
I sighed and took another quick peek at the object of my affection before forcing myself to get back to work. Being with her would be a dream, but that’s all it could ever be.