Chapter 22
NASH
I’d waited years to have my arm around Raven, her warm and willing by my side, but only part of that dream was coming true. I was laying on my side and she was sitting in front of me. She was warm. One of my arms possessed the curve of her waist, and the other crossed her chest. She wasn’t exactly willing.
She wriggled in my embrace and pushed against my arms. Her elbow jabbed my ribcage. “What are you doing? Let me go. You’re hurt, remember? Are you just faking being in pain?” Raven scowled at me, as I held her in place.
“Not exactly. You did hit me pretty hard, and my head is throbbing. But this talk is long overdue, and I’m not letting you avoid it any longer.”
Raven let out a sigh that seemed to release the air from her entire body. She slumped against me. “Fine. What did you want to talk about? The weather? When we’ll be rescued? Your agenda for this remodel?”
“No, Raven. I want to talk about the letter we just read.” I never called her by her given name, so she knew I was serious.
“What about it? T seems like a desperate and silly girl to me. We can probably skip reading the rest, just teenage drama.”
“This isn’t about T. It’s about us. Something we’ve never talked about.”
“Because there is no us , Nash.”
“Why did you stop reading the letter?”
“Because it’s stupid and I have better things to do. I should get back to the painting.” She tried to stand up, but I held her firmly in place with my arms locked.
“Why have you been mad at me for so long?” I asked.
“Because you seem to be intent on pushing my buttons. Like now. Can we please let this go?” She grumbled with her teeth gritted, still trying to pry my hands apart so she could get away.
“No. You’ve been angry at me since I kissed you. I’m sorry if I took advantage of you that night. I shouldn’t have let my feelings get the better of me, but I’d been holding them back for so long that it just got to be too much. Can you forgive me?”
“What are you talking about? You didn’t take advantage of me because I kissed you . It was just like in the letter. When I finally got up the courage to do something to show you how I felt, you pushed me away and ran off in disgust.”
I let go of her and pushed myself to sit, leaning back against the wall, so I could look her in the eye. “Listen to me. That is not how it was. At least, not from my perspective.” I took her hand and held it in mine. “I’d had a crush on you for years, but kept it hidden because of Rowan. But when I saw you sitting on that ledge alone—finally without that douchebag you were dating and looking so beautiful, it stole my breath—I couldn’t stop myself. I had to let you know how I felt about you. But then Rowan interrupted us, and I realized I screwed everything up. I felt guilty for making a move when I swore to Rowan that I never would.”
Raven’s eyes widened and she pulled her hand away. “Wait. What? You had feelings for me?”
I nodded but maintained eye contact with her. “And you had feelings for me, too?” My heart and breathing stopped and held my emotions at bay, like a dam holding back a flood of excitement. I awaited her confirmation—ready to burst.
She nodded.
The floodgates opened. I wanted to jump up and swing her around the room.
Raven burst out laughing. “What a couple of idiots we are. Could we be any more clueless?”
“All this time, I thought you hated me for giving you an unwanted kiss.”
“And I thought you were repulsed by me. You wiped it off your lips, swore my brother would never know about it, and ran off.”
“I only wiped it off to make sure I didn’t have your shade of lipstick on me before seeing your brother. He’s knocked guys out just for talking about you or your sisters. I didn’t want to find out what he’d do if he caught me kissing you.”
“So this was all because of my brother?” She sidled up close to me on the bed. Our shoulders and thighs touched as her back leaned against the wall.
I shrugged and picked up her hand, enjoying the warmth of it in mine. “He’s my best friend and closest thing to a brother I’ve ever had. He’s always been there for me, and I swore I’d never do anything to break his trust. I had no idea what that vow would cost me.”
I turned my upper body to face her and pushed her dark hair away from her face, letting my fingers linger on her skin.
“Raven?” She looked up at me with her big blue eyes, and all my restraint dissolved into almost nothing. “Can I kiss you?”
“Only if you’re not gonna wipe it off and run away again.”
“Not a chance.” I leaned in slowly, giving her plenty of time to change her mind.
“And don’t call me Raven.”
“It’s your name,” I whispered, my face just inches from hers.
“Not to you.”
“Alright, Tweet. Be quiet so I can kiss you.”
I closed the distance, and paused just before our lips touched, leaving the decision up to her to kiss me or back away. She gripped my shirt and pulled me to her. Our lips touched, igniting an inferno of heat between us. We melted into each other, fusing and bonding like wires soldered together. With that connection, electricity moved through me, buzzing all the way down to my feet, more potent than a lightning strike.
Ding!
Ding! Ding!
Without breaking contact, Raven moaned. “You’ve got to be kidding me. They pick now, of all times, to message me? I’m not answering.” Her phone was still on the charger on the other side of the room. She ignored it and went right back to kissing me.
I pulled away from her but rested my forehead against hers, not wanting to break contact. “They’re just worried about you.”
“Yeah. And that won’t change, whether I answer them now, or not.” She pulled me in and kissed me again.
Buzz!
That was my phone. My hand twitched to reach for it.
“It’s not important. Don’t even think about it.” She nibbled my ear, and I melted into the pillow.
Nothing existed in the world but us. And I wasn’t about to let my phone change that. I kissed her again.
Buzz! Buzz!
Ugh. My sense of responsibility and obligation triggered, and guilt gnawed at me. “What if something happened to someone we care about? We’d feel bad that we didn’t respond.”
Raven brushed it off. “But we’re isolated here, unable to do anything to help. Any news they have can wait until we’re ready to deal with it.” She snuggled into my chest. “They don’t know if we have a signal or if our phones are still working. At least, they won’t if we don’t respond.”
I tried to ignore it, focusing on the amazing woman in my arms. But I couldn’t get past wondering if something happened that we should be aware of. Her lips found mine again and my only thought was that this was a dream come true. One I didn’t want to wake up from.
After some time, we paused to catch our breath. I held her tightly to me and rested my head on top of hers. I breathed in the familiar scent of her hair and appreciated the way we seemed to fit together, like two interlocking pieces. Nothing had ever felt so right. We belonged together.
Buzz!
I groaned. As much as I wanted to deny that the rest of the world existed, it bothered me not knowing what the messages were about. I needed to be reassured that our loved ones were okay.
“Go ahead and look. I can tell it’s killing you not to know,” she said reluctantly. “Then, once your curiosity is satisfied, you better get back to kissing me.”
I kissed her again as a thank you.
I pulled my phone out of my back pocket and brushed the mud off it. A bowling ball of guilt dropped into my gut. It was Rowan.
Did he have some kind of special sense to know when I was betraying him and kissing his sister?
I turned my phone off without responding. I needed to conserve the battery, after all, and I slid it back into my pocket. I laid back down with my arm draped over my forehead and closed my eyes. How was I going to handle this? Raven snuggled up next to me and laid her head on my chest. I should be enjoying our new closeness and the feel of her in my arms. But Rowan had sufficiently killed the mood.
What was I going to do? My thoughts whirled in search of a solution while my head throbbed in pain.
My best friend. Or the woman of my dreams.
Only one thing was crystal clear to me.
I didn’t want to lose either one of them.