Chapter 25
RAVEN
Sitting by the fire with Nash was something I’d dreamed about for years but never imagined would happen in real life.
We spread a quilt on the floor in front of the fireplace. I took a couple of pillows for Nash to lie on. His knees were bent, and I used them as my back rest. I angled my body so I could watch both Nash and the fire. Munch liked being near his people, but the fire was so warm he sprawled out on the floor panting.
“How’s your mom, Nash?” I asked. “I haven’t seen her in years.”
“She’s doing well. She loves it in South Carolina. Dan treats her really well. I’m happy that she found someone like him. He’s a great guy.”
“It must have been hard for you to have her move so far away.”
“Yeah. It was hard, especially at first. It had always been Mom and me. But I was old enough to understand that she put her life on hold for so long to take care of me. I couldn’t keep her from being with someone who loved her and made her happy. It would have been nice if they could have moved here after they got married, but his business is in South Carolina.” Nash gazed into the fire and was quiet for a moment. “Mom and I still talk once a week and text in between. I usually see them a couple times a year.”
“I can’t imagine being that far from my family. Even though they drive me crazy most of the time, I still don’t know what I’d do without them.”
“Funny thing, I feel the same way about your family. When your mom offered to let me stay at your house the year my mom left to live with Dan... it wasn’t hard to say yes. I didn’t want to miss my last year of high school, but more than that, your house already felt like home. I spent the majority of my time there, anyway. I’ll never forget how welcoming your family was, and how they made me feel like I belonged. When I go south to visit Mom and Dan, that doesn’t seem like home to me. Not like it does at your farm.”
“Having you live at our house was both a blessing and a curse. I loved seeing you all the time. But I couldn’t relax. This is going to sound weird, and very Tillie-like, but it was like I could feel whenever you were in the house. Like a supercharged buzz. Which was cool at first, but when you were there every day, it got to be overwhelming. I was torn between wanting to be near you and needing to get away.”
He reached out for my hand and rubbed his thumb over the back of it. “How about now? We’ve been in the same space for days. Is it still overwhelming?”
“Kind of. But it’s different now. I understand it better. And once you admitted you felt the same about me, it changed. It’s still supercharged, but in a really good way.”
“I agree. It is different now.” He leaned over and brushed his lips across mine. “It was a special kind of hell for me being in the same house as you while keeping my attraction hidden from everyone all the time. I was afraid if they found out, they’d kick me out and I’d have nowhere to go.”
I sucked in a breath. “I had no idea.”
“I know. But even after I went to college and didn’t live there anymore, I still felt indebted to them. Still do. And I vowed to never do anything to hurt your family.”
This explained so much, but his belief was still a little skewed. “Don’t you think that since they already accepted you as one of the family, they’d be happy to see us together?”
He gave a little shrug and said in a soft, barely audible voice, “I knew already then that I wasn’t good enough for you. You deserved better than a fatherless, homeless, unwanted guy who never fit in anywhere.” Under his breath and barely audible, he whispered, “Still do.”
I sat up and turned to face him, my volume kicking up a couple notches. “Are you kidding me right now? As the black sheep of my family, who never fit with the rest of the bunch, how could you ever think you wouldn’t be good enough for me?”
“You’re not a?—”
I held a hand up to stop him from talking. “Don’t try to correct what I believe. I’ve been ridiculed, teased, and rejected my entire life for being different from everyone else. My family is great, but even they tease me about my rebellious ways and how I march to my own drum. Which is true, I won’t deny it. But secretly, I always wished I could be more like my siblings. Rowan, the perfect dutiful son. Skye, perfect with her beauty and her over-achieving brilliance. Storm, the brainiac lawyer. And Jasper is like a playful puppy. Even when he misbehaves, he’s so cute and funny he gets away with it. Then there’s Junie, everyone’s sweetheart. No, I’m not like any of them. So I figured I might as well be the rebel they all think I am.”
“I’ve always loved how comfortable you are just being yourself. Not caring what everyone else thinks. I wish I could be more like that. I didn’t realize how different I was from everyone else until I moved here and the bullying started. I did whatever I could to fit in, to be like everyone else, and to be accepted.”
I leaned over and pressed my lips to his. “Apparently, we’re more alike than we realized. Maybe that’s why we’re such a good match. We may not fit with anyone else, but together—we’re home.” Goosebumps appeared on my skin.
“That’s exactly how it feels when I’m with you. Like I’ve finally found my home.” He held me tight and nestled his head in the crook of my neck. Then he kissed the side of my neck to my ear and trailed kisses along my jaw until he found his was to my mouth.
I moaned with pleasure as this man hit all my buttons. I’d never been turned so inside-out by simple kissing. But Nash’s kisses were a whole new thing. They should come with a warning label. Dangerous but addicting.
Do they have rehab for this kind of addiction? Not that I want to stop this indulgence anytime soon.
Ding!
Ding! Ding!
“Ugh. Not again. They seriously must have some kind of crazy ESP or something that tells them exactly when to interrupt.” Even though I didn’t want to, I picked up my phone to see what the notifications were all about.
Mom
How are you holding up, honey? Everything going ok?
Dad
I contacted the county and explained your situation. They have it on their list to inspect that bridge near the cabin. But they couldn’t tell me when that would be. We’ll find a way to get you out of there ASAP. I promise.
Skye
Enjoy it while it lasts. ;) I told dad to let the county handle it, but he doesn’t listen.
Dad
It could take the county a month to get to that little bridge. They needed to know people were stranded up there. And the power company has so many outages to fix that they couldn’t give an estimate on when they’d get to that area.
Skye
Like I said…
Leave it to Skye. She’s never been much for subtlety. It would be nice if Dad let us be for a little while longer. I sure wouldn’t mind more time alone with Nash.
Dad
We’ll get you home as soon as we can.
I’m fine. Really. Don’t worry about me. Still have food and water. Fire in the fireplace. Working on the painting Gladys commissioned, but not done yet. No hurry, Dad.
Skye
;)
Hopefully, that will pacify my dad for a while.
I turned my phone off, hoping to keep reality at bay a little longer. I wasn’t ready to go home and leave this idyllic hideaway just yet. Yeah, eventually we’d have to return to the real world, but the longer we could delay the inevitable, the better.
Hearing Nash explain how much he perceived was at stake if anyone found out how he felt about me, gave me a whole new perspective and understanding. Even though it was different now than it was back then, it made me wonder if he’d really be able to go through with his plans to tell Rowan and my family about us. His loyalty ran deep.
Which was deeper? His feelings for me or his feelings for my family?
Enjoy this time alone with him, Raven. It might be all that you get.
Even with the progress we’d made in admitting our feelings and the closeness we shared, a nagging feeling in the pit of my stomach kept warning me it wouldn’t last. Our relationship existed inside a bubble, and soon that bubble would pop.
It was only a matter of time.