Chapter 1 #2
“Oh, you don’t have to worry, I’ll be the first to call you and send you money to fix it ASAP so no one is inconvenienced after we leave.
And I’ll tell you now, it’s more than likely to happen.
With twelve kids in the house and four grown-ass men who at times forget they aren’t kids, I may as well give you the money now. ” Both of us laugh.
“Sounds like you have a great group of friends and family, Lex. I look forward to meeting you all when you land here on the twenty-eighth of December. I’m sure you will all be ready to kill each other by then.
Twenty-one hours all trapped on a private jet together is going to be challenging,” Nerida comments.
“Without sounding pretentious, these kids have been flying since they were born, so they are used to it. They understand that when they are on the plane, there are strict rules, and the little ones sleep like they are in their own bed at home. So, we are lucky, but still, this long-haul flight is going to test the patience of every single adult on the plane—except Mason, because he gets to lock himself in the cockpit away from the chaos. Maybe I should learn how to fly a plane. It feels like it would be easier.”
The moment the words are out of my mouth, I know I could never do what Mason does. The responsibility of keeping every person he loves safe is a heavy load to carry. My controlling personality struggles with just worrying about my wife and our four children, let alone our extended framily.
“Well, let’s hope this flight works out like the others.
Now, if there is anything else you think of, just get in touch.
Otherwise, I’ll touch base as we get closer to the trip, but just know that everything is under control from this end.
” Nerida has been such a dream to work with.
One of the women on the board of Mia’s Place recommended Nerida, and it has worked out perfectly.
Shutting down my laptop, I sit in the silence of the house just for a moment.
It doesn’t happen often, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
But I need these moments to still my mind.
Thinking back to the fifty-eight days I spent away from Mia at the lake house when both our lives exploded, it was then I learned that protecting my mental health is important.
I don’t think I had ever stopped and sat in the moment.
Given myself time to grieve my old life, dream of the life I wanted going forward, and to just let my brain rest. It was when I started writing.
First the letters to Mia were a way to express what I was going through and sorting out my thoughts.
I have now learned through my therapy journey that it was really a form of journaling, which I still do every day now because it helps.
I had no idea that would open the door to give my creative brain the opportunity to start talking.
Looking across to the glass-doored bookshelf in my office where my first three novels I’ve published are sitting, I can’t help but smile at how different my life is now.
From a criminal lawyer to a fantasy author writing about the worlds of castles, lords, and dragons that exist in my mind and the founder and CEO of a charity to support women like my wife to get out of the awful lives they are trapped in.
It’s like I’ve lived two lives, really. But I can honestly say this life is my happiest.
Turning off the light in my office as I leave, I head upstairs, walking down the hallway past all the kids’ bedrooms. I open the doors and look in on them, each one tucked up under the blankets.
Remi is surrounded by as many stuffed animals as she could fit, Gabe with just one, his dinosaur that he has loved since he was a toddler.
Kayla tells me she is past stuffed toys, but every night when I check on her, she has the pale brown bear with a pink heart stitched on it tucked in bed next to her; it’s the same one that I bought for her the first day I met her.
As I open Jack’s door, he is still sitting at his desk, headphones on, drawing. As talented as he is with his music, his drawing isn’t bad either. One day I would love to have him illustrate a book cover for me, but he is too young right now.
Walking toward him, he sees me out of the corner of his eye.
“Hey, Dad,” he says as he pushes his headphones off the ear closest to me.
“Time to call it a night, buddy. I’m off to bed now.
You’ve got school tomorrow.” As I look at the young man in front of me who’s just as tall as me already, I miss the little boy that loved his teddy bear “Ted” and never went anywhere without him.
He was the most loved bear I’ve ever seen, and I can see the wear and tear on Ted from where he sits on the shelf above Jack’s desk, still treasured but from afar.
“Yeah, I just want to finish this. Almost done.” He holds it up to show me the guitar he is sketching in pencil, so intricate and realistic.
“That looks really cool, Son, but it’s almost ten-thirty.
Time for lights out.” And then the sweet moment is gone with the groan and huff I get as he stands from his desk, taking his headphones off and throwing back the covers.
I remember those teenage years where you don’t think you need much sleep, yet the minute your head hits the pillow, that’s the last thing you recall.
Growing bodies need sleep, and Jack’s is growing rapidly.
Our weekend tradition of pancakes on a Sunday morning has now become a massive production.
Jack eats almost the same amount as the rest of us in the family put together.
The old saying of having hollow legs definitely applies.
“You know I don’t need as much sleep as you, old man.” He looks at me, waiting for me to bite back at his comment, but I’m one step ahead of him.
“I dare you to call Tate an old man to his face, since he is the same age as me.” I laugh as I walk back to the door and turn around to see him smiling at me.
“I’m not that stupid. Night, Dad, love you.” I never get tired of hearing those words from him.
“Night, JJ, love you too.” Turning off the light and closing his door, my heart is full.
I didn’t even know if I wanted kids before I met Mia, but the moment Jack and Kayla walked into my life, it was like I was always meant to be a father.
And our twins, Gabe and Remi, made our lives complete—a handful, but complete.
“What took you so long?” Mia calls to me from bed where she is now lying after her bath, waiting patiently for me.
“Just got lost in my own thoughts.” Stripping off my clothes, I crawl in beside her, pulling her to me.
“So, what else is new.” She giggles quietly as I kiss the top of her head and then reach over to turn off the lamp.
Yeah, life is good.
MIA
“Gabe and Remi, hurry up, please. We will be late for school.” I should take a recording of this statement so I can play it back to them on repeat. I feel like a broken record every morning, screaming at them from the bottom of the stairs.
We have our nanny, Stella, who helps out after school, but I like to be here for the kids in the mornings.
Being a working mother has been a challenge with four kids, but we make it work.
It’s a joint effort between Lex and me, but I’m on my own this morning because he has a meeting at the charity office.
“Remi was sitting on the floor playing dolls when I walked past her on the way down,” Jack says to me as he finishes tying up his shoes at the front door.
“That child is just like her father. When she gets into the land of make-believe, she is lost from all form of reality.” I’m about to dump my work bag that’s already on my shoulder onto the floor to march up the stairs when Kayla sees my frustration.
“I’ll go, Mom.” Dropping her bag on the floor, she runs up the stairs two at a time, calling out to both the twins before she even makes it to their rooms. Kayla is like Lex, she hates to be late, it gives her anxiety, so she is always the first ready for school every morning.
The next thing, I hear three sets of feet running down the hallway, and then I see them all at the top of the stairs.
“Sorry, Mommy,” Gabe yells, trying to take the blame off his twin sister.
“Okay, chop, chop, let’s get in the car.
” I herd them out the door to my Range Rover that’s parked in the drive.
I can’t believe next year Jack can start driving on his learner’s permit.
That is a frightening prospect. I’m not ready to have that worry or for him to grow up.
For so long it was just me and him against the world that I still feel like I need to be there to protect him.
He is a beautiful boy and still humors me by letting me hover, even though he doesn’t need me, but I know I’m going to have to learn to let go soon.
Lex told me it’s like we have a rope wrapped around Jack’s waist, and we have to work out how to slowly let it out, a little at a time. Giving him space to grow, learn, and make mistakes, but still knowing we are here to help when he needs us. Easier said than done.
School drop-off takes me forty-five minutes before I’m pulling into my parking spot at the office.
One of the perks of working for my sister is that I have flexibility for the hours I work.
It’s a juggle being a working mom, but surprisingly, I’m still sane—well, most days anyway.
Grabbing my bag out of the car, I stand and pull myself together.
Straightening my outfit, I check my face in the side mirror of the car.
Lipstick, check. Hair still in place, check. Okay, good to go.
As I enter the elevator, my phone alerts me to a message from Paige asking me to come to the boardroom as soon as I get in. And so, my day begins.
I stop off at my office next to Paige’s and fire up my computer, dumping my bag and grabbing my iPad to make notes for today’s work.