Chapter 4 #3
Opening my arms, I catch Mom first, and my sisters are on either side of her, all in tears. Dad and my brother Gabe are standing behind them, but they know they have to wait in line to greet me.
“Why didn’t you tell us you were coming? Oh my God, look at you, it’s been too long. How long are you here for, let me get you something to eat, where’s your bag?” Mom has my face in her hands looking up at me, now that I’m a head taller than she is.
“Mia, slow down and give JJ room to breathe.” I love hearing my dad call me by his nickname for me. He adopted me when I was four when he met my mom, and then I took his last name, Jefferson. It’s our special thing between us. Never once have I not felt loved as his own son.
“Then it wouldn’t have been a surprise.” I lean forward and give Mom a kiss on the cheek that’s wet from happy tears, along with my sisters, who are also firing questions at me.
“Okay, okay, hold your horses, I’m here for a few days, so there will be plenty of time to fill you in on everything.
” I manage to wrestle a hand free and reach out to grab Gabe’s hand.
“Hey, Bro.” Pulling him to me, Remi steps aside for her twin brother to give me a hug.
“Okay, you’ve all had your turn, now move aside.” Dad’s deep voice has them all moving aside except for Mom. She has tucked herself under my arm and wrapped her arms tightly around me, with no intention of letting go anytime soon.
“Good to have you home, JJ.” I can hear the emotion in his voice, but I’m going to lose my bet with Mase, because there are no tears, although I can see the emotion in his eyes.
“Missed you guys,” I whisper to them both.
I feel their love pouring into the hug, and that’s exactly what I needed because it feels like I’m home when I’m in the arms of my parents and surrounded by my family. I can feel the tension starting to drain from my body.
“Am I the last one to arrive?” I ask as my parents finally start to release me from their grasps.
“Yes, and for the first time in a few years, the whole framily is here,” Dad replies proudly.
“Seriously, that’s awesome. Then let’s get the grill fired up and food on the table, so you can feed me, woman, because you’re right, I’m starving,” I cheekily comment to Mom, and she smiles brightly at the thought of being able to look after me.
The funny thing is I can see in her eyes that she’s torn between having to let go of me completely or give in to the sudden urge to mother me to death.
“Don’t go anywhere.” She looks up at me again, nods, and then scurries off toward the kitchen.
“I better go and calm her down, and you can start working yourself through the lineup behind me. I’m surprised your aunties haven’t already swarmed you the moment your mother let you go.
” Dad chuckles as he walks toward the back door of the lake house, and I’m swallowed into the hugs of the family crowded in front of me.
I’ve forgotten what it’s like to have peace of mind and just relax.
Today has been all about eating, swimming, playing so many games with all my cousins, and then the ultimate showdown of me, Gabe, Jessie, and Dom in a basketball match against Dad and my uncles, Mason, Tate, and Gray.
Even though they’re all over thirty years older than us, they never give in.
It’s been a traditional grudge match ever since us four boys were old enough to play.
And they are competitive fuckers who have never let us win, even when we were younger.
We’ve had to fight for every point, but finally this year was the victory of all victories, with the next generation finally taking the trophy.
Sitting around the fire pit now, we are still giving them shit about how old they are. When Mom comes emerges from the house holding the guitar that I’ve always kept here since I learned to play, a cheer breaks out around the fire.
“Thanks, Mom.” She sits down on the bench next to me, and I give her a quick side hug before I settle the guitar in my lap like it’s an extension of my body.
The good thing is they don’t want a concert from me. This is just a family singalong. And most of the time it sounds terrible, but no one cares.
“Okay, what’s the first request?” I ask, tuning up the strings on my old faithful friend.
“‘Carry You Home’, by Alex Warren,” Kayla yells in my ear on the other side of me, before anyone else gets a chance to speak.
“Whoa, okay, watch the eardrums there, Sis.” She bangs her shoulder against mine as I laugh at her.
“Not like you don’t live in a world of loud music all the time. No way I was louder than when you’re on stage. Or are you going soft on us?” She pokes her tongue out at me.
“Never, and I see you haven’t gotten over your infatuation with my friend Alex’s music, and even though I doubt the oldies will know this one, here you go.” As I play the first few chords, those who know the words start singing, and my heart is full.
After about an hour of fun, the requests are slowing down, and Dad, who now has Mom snuggled up next to him, asks, “Got anything new for us?” There is no pressure from anyone around me, and they wouldn’t care if I said no.
But there is no question in my head which song I want to play.
“No one has heard this one yet. It’s an acoustic song, and I wrote it a few years ago, but it’s not finished because I just can’t seem to get it right. So, who knows, it may never see the light of day, except around this campfire. Anyway, here goes.”
Closing my eyes for minute, I picture her.
My emerald-eyed girl.
My fingers move through the intro, and the feel of my guitar takes me straight back to that moment in time, when I lost it all.
How was I supposed to know that I would only get that one chance,
To hear your laugh, gently kiss that smile, the one that made my heart dance.
But then time fades the memories, and everything else falls away,
Yet you are the one I can’t seem to erase.
Lonely nights, locked in my dreams, I’m grasping for you and just one more moment.
I look across that room, while I’m playing your tune, only to be disappointed once more.
Because as the dark turns to light, and my vision falls apart, all I’m left with,
Is me, alone, with the memory of that beautiful emerald-eyed girl.
I let myself feel every word and note, and suddenly it all becomes clear. It’s not just the song that’s not complete, it’s me.
Thank you for reading NYE in Sydney.