Chapter 26 Reyes
Reyes
Honeysuckle.
The corners of my mouth turn up as I open my eyes. Nyx is sprawled out beside me, sleeping with his face on my chest. Our fingers clasp, touching like we’re drawn together. Magnets, even in our sleep.
It’s peaceful… until I shift my hips and am faced with stiff shorts.
Sacrifices.
My jaw opens wide with a yawn, and Nyx stirs.
I realize I’m damn near hanging off the edge of the mattress, while his arms and legs are stretched wide, taking up space in a way his small frame shouldn’t allow.
For someone who isn’t used to sleeping in a large bed, he sure is comfortable occupying the whole thing.
My grin deepens, and he blinks his eyes open. He’s adorably confused for a moment.
“Good morning,” I rasp, my voice gravelly from sleep. Those stunning sage eyes move up to mine, and his lips lift in a sleepy smile.
“Morning,” he whispers back, nuzzling against my chest. He stretches, and the blanket slides down to expose more of his skin. Half of his ass cheek peeks out from beneath his shirt, and I want nothing more than to grab it. Bite it, shake it… do anything at all with it.
I contain myself, though barely.
“What do you want to do today?” I ask. He sits up, and I try not to pout as the shirt falls over his cute little butt, but it’s a loss that deserves at least a moment’s mourning.
“We need a bath,” he says, wrinkling his nose as he glances down at the front of my shorts. “I made a mess of you.”
I snort before I can catch myself. “To be fair, I made a mess of myself, too. I liked it,” I promise him, feathering my fingers along his forearm.
Tiny goosebumps lift on his skin, and he shivers as I do it again.
“You, um… you’re different from me. Your anatomy.
” He scrunches his features into his confused face, and I huff another laugh. “Body parts.”
“Oh,” he breathes, chewing on the side of his lip as his eyes dart away, but I grip his chin and force them back to mine. They fret, broadcasting his stress like always, but I peck a soft kiss onto his nose and some of that worry fades.
“It’s not a bad thing, just an observation. It just made me curious, because you have a cock like me, but also… more.”
A flush burns on his cheeks as his gaze drops to my crotch for a split second. “Human males do not bear children, yes?”
“Correct,” I say with a slow nod. “Those born with male anatomy can’t. Humans born as female do, and their parts are more like… yours. Where I was touching you last night.”
“The Drüinae—my people—do not assign children a gender. We are of one body. No differences. They choose their… ah, what is the word? Who you are here?” He taps his hand over his heart.
“Identity,” I say, and he wrinkles his nose. He makes that face when he doesn’t like how a word sounds, and I chuckle as he waves it off.
“They choose when they are ready, or they don’t. Some are comfortable, like me, and never feel the need to change. Others are more fluid.”
“You’re all built the same?” He nods thoughtfully, staring off into the corner of the room absentmindedly, like he does when he’s pulling memories from deep in his mind. “So, um, you could bear children?”
He hesitates, his eyes finally drifting to mine with an uncertainty I haven’t seen in them for a while. “Before? Yes. After what they did to me?” He lifts one shoulder in a shrug, and another fissure forms in my heart as I wrap an arm around him and tuck him into my neck.
“Is that something you want?”
His fingers trace over my pecs, creating swirls in my chest hair before smoothing them out. “In this world? No… things are too hard. Too dangerous. My mind is too broken. Children are innocent. They do not ask for our scars.”
“In another life?” My voice is thick as I’m reminded yet again of everything that’s been taken from him.
He’s quiet for a long moment. “We are not in another life, katsurrel. We are in this one. It does no good to pretend otherwise.”
“I’m sorry you’ve lost so much,” I whisper, and I can’t stop the catch in my throat.
Nyx takes a deep inhale, and I don’t interrupt his silence.
His hand absentmindedly moves down to my stomach, raking through the hair under my navel, but it isn’t sexual.
After a lifetime of being touch starved, he’s gorging himself on it, and I’ll happily let him use me to soothe himself.
“When Ronan and Cameron found me, they kept telling me it would be okay. That it would get better. But I never believed them. I was… angry. Confused. I didn’t understand why I was alive.
Didn’t want to be, some days.” I hug him tighter, and he hugs me back, pressing a kiss to my shoulder right as I press one to the top of his head.
“The first time I saw you, I knew you were important. My body was weak, and my mind had been broken. Twisted and changed until it was barely mine anymore. But my heart knew you. It recognized you, even then. It made me want to try.”
“I’m so thankful you tried,” I whisper into his hair. “So thankful you were brave enough to fight.”
“I want to keep being brave,” he says, and I pull back as his gaze climbs to mine. “The places they took me, the rifts… I want to go. Want to see if I can help.”
“We have time—” I start to argue, but the pleading in his eyes brings my words to a halt.
“I need this.”
My chest fills with a heavy inhale, shaking as I push it out. “Why?” A thousand thoughts rush through my mind. How disappointed he will be if he fails. How much it might take out of him. And then, there’s the flip side of the coin…
What if he succeeds?
What if the path opens up, and he has a chance to go home, where he belongs?
“I belong with you,” he says quietly, and I realize I’ve said the last part out loud. He flips my hand and traces the glowing mark. “You are the only home I have ever had. You are my safety. The only place I am whole.”
My arms bind around him and pull him into my lap, and he settles against me. His face tucks into my neck as I say, “We know nothing about the rifts or how they work. We haven’t learned anything new since they took you.”
“No, but I’m stronger now. I have you.”
“You can still be hurt.”
“I will always hurt,” he whispers, pressing his lips against my neck as I close my eyes, enjoying the soft weight of his body against mine.
“When I am with you, I’m strong enough to fight it.
You make me forget the pain.” We hold each other for a long, quiet stretch, and his stray hairs tickle my nose.
His braid is wild from sleep, so I slip the band from the tip of it and unwind the long locks.
They’re wavy and fluffy as I run my hands through them, and without a word, Nyx turns his back to me.
I sit up taller, combing my fingers through the strands and scratching over his scalp.
He hums his pleasure as I grab the brush from the side table.
“You need to do this?” I ask as the bristles slide through his hair. The deep green shines in the morning sunlight, with emerald and jade highlights that remind me of the forest.
“It’s important.”
“You’re more important.”
He breathes a quiet laugh and glances over his shoulder at me. “What is this called? When you say nice things to get your way?”
I smirk in an attempt to hide my smile. “Flattery.”
He nods and faces forward again. “This flattery won’t change my mind.”
“Sassy,” I mutter, sweeping his hair aside and kissing the curve of his neck. “Braid or loose?”
“Which do you like better?”
“You’re pretty with both. Always so pretty.” I can tell he’s blushing by the way his head dips, and I grin as I finish brushing. “Let’s put it in a braid again. You look more innocent, and we’ll need to use that to our advantage.”
“Why?”
I snort a laugh as I divide the sections, and he shivers when I graze his ear. “We’re going to have to talk to the others about this and make a plan.”
“Ronan,” he realizes, and I chuckle as I start to braid.
“Yep.”
Never in a hundred years did I think Nyx was capable of manipulation to this degree, but there he stands.
Braided hair falls over his shoulder, and his oversized shirt brushes his thighs, even though he has plenty of smaller shirts clean.
Bare toes shuffle against the dirt, and his eyes.
They’re so wide they’ve formed almost perfect circles, and I swear he’s managed to pool some tears.
I know he’s faking, but the urge to sweep him up in a hug is unbearable.
I need to watch out for this witchcraft, or else I’m royally fucked.
Ronan is larger than life, standing at his full height with his hands on his hips. Nyx is comically small before him, the top of his head only reaching Ronan’s armpits. “It isn’t safe for you to leave,” Ronan argues.
“Others have left.”
“Yes, but they aren’t… you.”
Oh boy. Nyx’s chin juts out, his eyes narrowing. “You think I am incapable of helping? That I cannot do this?”
“No, but—”
“You believe I am worthless?” Nyx demands, and I fight to keep my face neutral. There’s true insecurity behind his question, but in this case, he’s saying it to guilt-trip Ronan into agreeing.
Witchcraft, indeed.
“Of course not!” Ronan’s eyes turn pleading as Nyx folds his arms over his chest. “Nyx, of course I don’t, but it isn’t safe out there and we have limited resources. We have to conserve our fuel.”
“For something more important?” Nyx demands, setting his stubborn jaw again. “Or for something you don’t think will fail?”
“I never said you’d fail.”
“You might as well have.”
Ronan’s eyes shoot to mine for support, like he thinks I’ll back him up in this fight and tell Nyx to stay.
Part of me wants to… hells, most of me does.
A giant piece of me is dying to bundle him up and keep him safe…
wrap him up in blankets, feed him snacks, and just spoil him until he forgets he wanted to do this.
But his choices matter more than mine, and I’ll never steal those.
“It would be safer if a group of us were to go,” I say, and Ronan’s eyes flare before they narrow. Something tells me I’m going to pay for the betrayal. “If Nyx says he can take us there, I believe him. I trust him.”
“Oh, you little shit,” Ronan snarls. “Don’t put words in my mouth. It’s not that I don’t trust him—”
“He has a voice,” I interrupt, putting more volume behind it than I intend, and for once, Ronan shuts up. “If he says he wants to do this, neither of us has the right to tell him no. It isn’t our place to decide for him.”
Ronan fumes for a few long, tense moments, but Nyx grabs him by the hem of his shirt. He rubs the fabric between his fingers like I’ve seen him do for comfort so many times, and Ronan’s face is infinitely softer as he glances down at him.
“You have always looked out for me, Ronan. I say you are not my parent, but you are my brother. Big brother. Protective.” Nyx huffs a rueful laugh.
The innocent act has vanished, and I can tell these words are sincere.
“You gave me freedom, and made sure I was safe. You have never asked me for anything in return.”
“That wasn’t why I helped, and I never wanted anything from you.
” Ronan’s voice is suspiciously thick as he stares at those delicate green fingers on his shirt.
Nyx used to duck away in fear when he touched someone, when his mind still connected touch to punishment.
Ronan was devastated when it happened to him.
“And I have never had anything to give,” Nyx counters. “Not until now. Before, I was too weak. When I said I could show you, it terrified me just to say those words out loud.”
“I know it did,” Ronan says gently.
“Now, I am stronger. Maybe not perfect. I am still scared, but I have a way to help. To give back. Don’t ask me to ignore that.”
“Where is the closest rift to here?” I ask, and Nyx drops Ronan’s shirt as he turns to me. Ronan stares down at the spot where Nyx held on to him for a long time, even as Nyx answers.
“The camp where they found me.”
“No,” Ronan snarls, whipping his head up with an expression that shifts between fury and horror. “Absolutely not. I will not take you back to that place.”
“It is the best option,” Nyx responds.
Ronan looks like he’s going to pop a vein in his forehead, so I speak up before he can start shouting. “Why don’t we talk to everyone else about it at dinner tonight? That would give them a chance to voice their opinions—”
“Fuck their opinions,” Ronan spits, but I just roll my eyes at his dramatics.
“—and make a plan. If we travel in a group, and if we’re careful, we should be safe.”
“Should is the key word here, Reyes.”
“Safety is never a guarantee in this life,” I argue. “Someone could find this place as easily as we could be attacked on the road. You would keep us holed up here while the rest of the world goes to shit. Why? Because you’re afraid?”
“Yes!” Ronan shouts, and Nyx startles at the noise and darts to my side to grab my hand. “Gods,” Ronan mutters, dragging his hand over his face. “Now you’ve made me scare Nyx.”
“Yes, that was so clearly my fault,” I deadpan, and Nyx huffs a quiet laugh beside me as his fingers squeeze mine. “He won’t break, Ronan. He’s stronger than you think.”
Ronan groans, long and drawn out, and oh so dramatic, until he finally snaps. “Fine. We’ll discuss this at dinner. But if this is how you want to do it? Turn this into some sort of group vote? That’s the final word. What they say goes, and there’s no more arguing.”