9. Chapter 9
I don’t know how long we’d been flying, but when my eyes fluttered open, I could feel the wind buffeting my back and knew it was far from over.
Whatever Katja had given me had worn off enough for my sluggish thoughts to latch onto that one fact— I was flying . I clutched Orm’s body, digging my fingernails into whatever part of him I was holding.
The moment I felt Vahin move beneath me, my legs spasmed, squeezing with every ounce of strength I possessed. With my mind screaming incoherently, I couldn’t understand why it was so quiet; then my chest started burning, and the panic worsened. I couldn’t breathe.
‘Shhh, Ani, you’re safe. I have you. Concentrate on my voice and let yourself trust me. I promise, I’ll protect you. Do I really remind you of Tal? He must have been a remarkable man, I’m sure. Intelligent, talented, and I’m guessing incredibly handsome,’ Orm said.
The little joke and the amusement in his calm and reassuring voice distracted me, and the tightness slid away. I managed to draw breath, and I tried to convince myself that my sob was a laugh at Orm’s joke.
‘Yes, he was handsome and remarkable, a true paladin mage—but just because you’re both bossy and feel entitled to tell me what to do, doesn’t mean you’re the same. As for the intelligence, he was at least smart enough not to force me into a year of servitude,’ I snapped and felt his deep sigh.
‘I didn’t force you. I used persuasion to help you make the right decision,’ he deadpanned, and I huffed.
‘Riiiiiight, “ I have the king’s geas, and I’m not afraid to use it ” is using “persuasion”?’ I argued, and he averted his eyes as he shrugged.
‘It worked.’
‘Yes, it certainly did. Now you have a mage you can’t trust, and I have a collar on my neck that you yank every time I try to express myself. Why didn’t you just ask? Why not give me a chance to agree? I’m not stupid. I know what’s at stake if the Barrier fails,’ I said quietly, but Orm shook his head.
‘Stupid, no. But stubborn? Most definitely, yes. Need I remind you that Alaric tried and you wouldn’t even give him your name? I’ve even sent men with invitations and you sent them back barely able to remember their time in Zalesie. We spent three months searching for the conduit mage with a fiery temper, learning how crafty you were at disappearing. You did a good job of covering your tracks. Admit it, Ani. You wouldn’t have given me the time of day.’
I couldn’t help it; I tensed because I knew he was right. And I felt sorry for those men I had drugged with Katja’s draughts, but seeing strangers asking questions and issuing invitations triggered my deepest fears. I was so afraid to be found out and brought back into service that I treated any stranger asking about my magic as a threat.
‘I thought they were from the council …’ I attempted to argue, but he looked down at me, shaking his head.
‘Yes, and I thought you were a belligerent mage. We’ve both made mistakes. I’m a dragon rider, schooled and bred for war. I don’t take chances. All my adult life, I’ve been a leader, having to calculate the odds for success and account for our losses. Accosting you during Maiden’s Day gave me the best odds for success. I do what I must because we are already losing the war against the Lich King, and he hasn’t even breached the Rift. The gods save us if he ever does.’
‘I know, but …’
‘No buts, Ani. For hundreds of years, the Barrier has been the only thing protecting the Lowland Kingdoms. We trusted it would last, and we were lazy. Look at what’s happening in the south and fae courts. They don’t even think they need to man it anymore. I’m fighting a losing battle, and it took only the tiniest of rifts to show us how weak we were against an undying enemy.’ Orm’s arm tensed, pressing me harder to his body before he exhaled, shaking his head.
‘Right now, we are just dealing with Vel demons, but if I’m right, soon even a tainted human or a Moroi could pass. Do you know what would happen to Zalesie if a corrupted Moroi appeared?’ I felt the shudder he tried to suppress.
My frown almost became an angry retort, but once again, I knew he was right. Those of the Moroi corrupted by the Lich King’s magic, if they broke through the Barrier, would spell the death of everyone they encountered.
‘So instead of coming directly to me with a reasonable explanation yourself, you arrived blowing your trumpets, scaring me badly enough that I almost cooked the mayor with aether. Then there’s that bloody geas. Gods! It makes me feel like a disobedient dog, with you as my owner who keeps yanking my chain.’
‘I should have let you cook that prick. I would have, if you hadn’t looked so distressed,’ he said with amusement in his voice. I thought he would leave things that way, but after a moment, Orm uncovered my face and looked at me.
‘I know you find it hard to believe, but I’m an honourable man. I’m not proud of the way I did things, but my first duty is to the people I was entrusted with to protect. I will hold my post to the bitter end, but finding you gave me hope. As long as you work with Alaric, I will provide you with everything you desire and never bring up the geas again.’
There was a ring of truth to his words that I couldn’t deny. What caught me off guard was the way he looked at me and the slight smile full of longing that appeared on his lips.
‘I can be a good friend Annika, if you only give me a chance. I enjoy talking to you, even if you have this annoying manner of not fulfilling orders and disagreeing with most of what I say.’
‘I’m not questioning you, I just don’t know if I can be the friend you desire,’ I finally said with a sigh. I understood his reasoning. We were both indoctrinated into the roles we’d been born into.
I remembered my sixteenth birthday when my conduit abilities had manifested. One moment, I was just a silly girl celebrating the beginning of her adulthood … The next, I was dragged from my parents’ house, tied to a post in the temple of rituals, and bled until the torment of slow death made me recite the oath. No money my father offered could buy my freedom, and eventually, my parents stopped trying.
We continued the flight in silence, but I felt the hitch in Orm’s breath several times as if he were trying to talk to me once more.
‘Just say it, I don’t bite,’ I snapped, finally.
‘Why did you stay in Zalesie all this time? Mages like you are much sought after. You could’ve gone anywhere, could have lived in a majestic fae city or even the steppes of the orcish kingdom and have had Anchors from amongst the best of your peers instead of haunting the mountains like some ghost.’
‘Yes, I’m sure mages there would gladly have adopted a conduit who could enhance their own power to limitless levels. Maybe I would have even had a month or two before someone tried to force the Anchor bond. What do you know about Anchoring, Ormond?’ I asked, and he had the grace to blush under my scrutiny as I continued.
‘Anchoring requires taking a piece of your spirit and embedding it into another person’s soul, taking theirs in return. It binds you in a way that can perhaps only compare to the bond you have with Vahin; but, contrary to the way you tethered your dragon, it requires skin-to-skin contact. The easiest and least painful way is through intimacy. You can ask healers for more of an explanation, but if you are in the throes of passion, the pain of splitting your spirit and having another joined to yours is … well, more acceptable once you have accepted them into your body.’
He looked at me sharply, and I laughed at his baffled expression.
‘That sounds … inconvenient. What if you don’t want to do it that way?’
‘Don’t be such a prude. It is still possible, but from what I’ve heard, all conduit mages prefer to have their Anchor pierce them in more than one way,’ I teased with a chuckle.
When he frowned, I added, ‘If one side, or both, don’t fully accept the exchange, it can kill them, and if you can’t accept your chosen one’s touch, how can you accept their soul? To take an Anchor is to connect with another person on such an intimate level that there is no room for doubt. You bare yourself, giving them all you are for a piece of their soul in exchange.’
‘So the Anchor must first be a lover?’ he asked, and I shrugged. ‘Or be enthralled, or under a spell, possibly even just a person you trust and accept completely. In the past, some mages would tie themselves to anyone who offered the power they craved, but it never ended well. In dire circumstances, I could do that. To make a deal, shackle myself to a stranger, and hope we survived the exchange.’
My sigh was deep and filled with an emotion I didn’t want to share.
‘I don’t crave power, and I refuse to bond to … That’s why I ran from the capital. My Anchor gets not only my magic but also my heart,’ I said, turning to blink away tears; my heart was gone, buried beneath the mountain.
‘I think I understand now,’ he said, and I sniffed, rubbing my nose.
‘I doubt it. All you need to know is that I don’t want you in my bed because years ago I decided that I would walk the rest of this life alone; and I won’t let anything—not even my magic—force me to change that.’
‘You didn’t answer as to why you chose Zalesie,’ he said after a moment, and I shook my head. ‘That’s all I’m willing to share. The rest is my secret to keep,’ I said, and I felt the arms holding me tense again.
I felt surprisingly good in Orm’s company, and I was spilling my guts despite not knowing him well enough to bare my soul.
Wait …
Something was not quite right about this inner calm and the trust I showed Ormond.
‘Why aren’t I freaking out?’ I asked after a moment of silence. I’d forgotten I was sitting on a dragon’s back at high altitude without screaming my lungs out thanks to our heartfelt discussion.
‘It’s Vahin. That’s why you’re not riding in the basket. He assured me you would be fine on his back. Dragons can project their thoughts and feelings onto people they feel connected to, and right now, he wants you to feel happy and to trust he can keep you safe while you enjoy the ride. If you want, you can turn around and see the view. It is rare to see so many dragons flying in formation.’
Orm’s words explained my sudden trust in not only the dragon, but also his rider. The mind trick may have forced out a few unnecessary confessions, but I supposed it was a small price to pay for not losing my mind.
After a moment’s hesitation, I peeked out. ‘All right, I’ll try,’ I said, shuffling my rear, twisting and turning until I was facing towards Vahin’s head, thankful for Orm’s hands steadying me with a vice-like grip.
‘You have the spirit of a warrior, Ani. It is difficult to conquer such fears, even with Vahin’s help,’ he said, and I turned to look at him.
‘Spirit of a warrior? You think that because I can look down without passing out thanks to a dragon’s help, I am a warrior? I’m a battle mage. Not because I can sit on the top of a flying lizard, but because I fought and bled and earned my position,’ I said, daring to look down.
The view took my breath away.
We were at the rear of the formation, a sea-green dragon leading the way. Four dragons on each side protected more of the magnificent beasts, each with a basket attached, likely containing petrified women. With the sun lowering below the horizon, its rays reflecting on dragon scales, it felt like we were flying behind a rainbow.
‘Point taken. I meant no offence. I’m simply impressed that you’re willing to face your fears,’ Orm said, resting his chin on my shoulder as he pointed to the massive cliff on our left. ‘We should be home shortly. It took longer than normal because Vahin used updrafts to smooth the flight rather than using his muscles since we didn’t want to cause you more distress than was necessary.’
‘How are you so calm, even when I snap at you?’ I asked. Orm was like the heart of a mountain: unmovable, no matter how hard I tried to shake him.
‘My anger was beaten out of me a very long time ago,’ he murmured.
I frowned. ‘What do you mean?’
‘The reason only males of certain bloodlines can bond with dragons is the wild magic they carry. Some say the first riders were the descendants of dragons. Others say that they were dragons themselves who remained in human form. Nobody knows now, and the dragons haven’t confirmed either theory. All we know is that around the age of eight, a kernel of wild magic manifests in some of our male children. It causes violent outbursts, destructive behaviour, and possessiveness beyond measure,’ he explained.
‘Mine was discovered after I almost killed my cousin when I bashed his head against the castle wall because he had played with my wooden sword. If not controlled early on, the magic turns us into feral and dangerous beasts; and it can only be tamed by rigorous training and bonding with a dragon.’
I hadn’t known that.
‘When my magic manifested, my parents brought me to the Cave of Binding. They left me there, where I wailed—alone, with no food or bed—until Vahin heard my cry. I climbed on his back, and he took me to the training grounds. I spent a year there—living in a nightmare where the smallest sign of disobedience or aggression was punished with a whip, starvation, and isolation until I learned to control my feelings.’ Orm spoke without a hint of emotion as I stared at him in pure horror.
‘Gods, who would do that to a child? Is that why all riders are so calm and polite …?’ I whispered, and he nodded.
‘The day I lose my temper could be the day I kill us all,’ he said, his chin returning to my shoulder. ‘But you don’t have to worry about that because I know a certain mage won’t goad me just to see how long it takes before I snap,’ he said, and I rolled my eyes.
‘And you’re telling me this now ? I can be quite vexing even to the people I like, and you … you’re not as bad as I thought you’d be, but you should let people know. Maybe wear a sign on your armour with “Don’t anger me,” or “I bite,” or something.’ I chuckled.
His lips quirked into a coy smile. ‘No, I’m not bad at all, and I don’t bite unless I’m asked … and even then, I prefer to nibble.’
I liked men who could appreciate my humour, and Orm, stern and domineering as he was, was also honest and straightforward. I could sense the mischief in those dark green eyes. As long as we weren’t fighting, I, too, enjoyed his company.
‘You are also not what I’d expected,’ he offered. I swatted his forearm with another chuckle as he looked down at me. ‘Do you like beasts that bite … like dragons?’ he asked, and the innuendo in his voice made me turn my head to avoid his eyes. As I did, a dark cloud on the horizon grabbed my attention.
‘What is that? Why is it drifting against the wind?’ I asked, pointing at the thing, gasping when Orm’s body stiffened.
‘Fuck. Spectrae,’ he muttered before shouting a command to his riders. ‘Brace for evasive manoeuvres. Fire on the perimeter. Spectrae are coming!’