19. Chapter 19
I couldn’t sleep. Maybe it was the wind rattling the windows or the fact that nothing made sense. My argument with Orm kept replaying in my head. What did he want from me? What did both of them want? What did I want from them? My feelings towards Orm and Ari were beyond complicated.
To make matters worse, I’d encountered my university nemesis and found out that the reason I was at the fortress in the first place had become obsolete. Ihrain was an ambitious idiot who’d made my life hell after I’d rejected his offer to get together, but if he was right … Gods, if he was right, we were doomed.
That fear tore away the last vestiges of sleep, and I jolted up, fully awake. It was then that I noticed it, a shift in the aether’s flow that I couldn’t identify. I felt malicious intent in the air, and then I heard it—a quiet but unmistakable whimper. At first, I thought it was just the wind or my ears playing tricks on me, but it came again and again. Finally, I grabbed a lantern and went to investigate.
The sound was coming from Alaric’s bedroom. He and Orm were on the same floor as me, Alaric’s room in the far corner of the long hallway. I hesitated at his door, but when I heard the sound again, followed by words filled with such heart-wrenching emotion, I frantically banged on it.
The door was opened by the ragged shadow of the usually flawless dark fae: Alaric, hair matted and unbound, swayed before me, his eyes a blazing crimson and his face tightened in torment. He was wearing the torn remains of his shirt and sweat-stained breeches, and I frowned at the lines writhing across his chest.
‘What’s going on, Ari? What are those?’ I asked, feeling a creeping horror at the sight.
‘Nothing. Everything is fine. Go back to sleep.’ He tried closing the door on me, but I shoved my foot in the gap, hissing when the door slammed it, not letting him get away with his blatant evasion.
‘Yes, of course it is. Everything is fine. That’s why you look like something the dogs chewed up and spat out,’ I said, pushing inside, and Alaric shrugged before grabbing a blanket to wrap around his body.
‘It’s just some old scars that bother me sometimes. Nothing you should be concerned about.’ Alaric gritted his teeth, pulling away when I stepped towards him. That threw me off my stride—Alaric liked to touch me; throughout the time we’ve spent together, I’d become used to him taking my hand or placing his on the small of my back. For a moment, I just stared at him with a frown.
‘Did you do this to yourself? It looks like you’re bleeding. Let me get a proper look; maybe I can heal …’ As I reached out to brush away the blanket, he grabbed my wrist and threw me against the wall with a feral growl, pinning my body with his.
‘I’m not that stupid. Hrae! Why do you even care about me? Why do my feelings matter to you?’ he demanded, hammering his fist on the wall by my head. The anguish on Alaric’s face broke my heart. I had never seen him like this, so violent and unhinged, with no way to ease his own suffering.
‘Because you matter to me, Ari. Tell me what’s wrong. I can see you’re in pain. Please, let me help you.’ I placed a hand on his cheek, happy to see his body relax a little, as if my touch eased something deep inside him. His ragged breath brushed over my ear when his head rested against mine.
‘Nobody can help me. This pain will only stop if I bring my sister back from the Barren Lands,’ he ground out, his fingers tracing along the column of my neck, and I swallowed hard. ‘I’m a cursed man, Annika. Whatever I do, I’m damned, but you … you should ignore this, ignore me and leave. Why couldn’t you have been just another arrogant mage I could hate?’
Despite his words, Ari pressed closer, his hand trailing lower, tracing my collarbone, drawing lines on my unblemished skin, his thigh wedged between my legs. I felt the hard length of his shaft pressing into me. ‘You shouldn’t have come here,’ he murmured as his hand slid over the side of my breast. His lips touched my skin, and I gasped when he slid the chemise from my shoulders. The world seemed to pause until Alaric faced me, his gaze finding mine before it slid away with a sardonic huff.
‘The dragon’s bond. I barely saved you that night.’ I looked at the stylised dragon on my chest, releasing a shuddering breath as Alaric’s fingers hesitantly caressed it. ‘One day, my mark will join the dragon’s, but not today. I don’t deserve you yet. Maybe I never will.’ I couldn’t decipher the emotion darkening Ari’s features, and he turned away before I could ask.
‘Go, Ani. You are not safe with me as I am now. I need to be alone.’
I reached out, determined to understand. ‘Why? Why are you speaking in riddles? Alaric, please, you are my friend. You know you can trust me.’
‘I trust no one, not anymore. Go, Annika. Before I do something we both regret.’ He exposed his sharp fangs and my breath hitched. Whatever was gnawing at him, Alaric was hell-bent on being alone, and I didn’t want to discover the damage those fangs could inflict.
I looked for Orm to talk about what happened the next morning, but when I went to his office, I was told he’d left—called in by his brother—and had used the occasion to escort Ihrain to the capital.
I was concerned about the summons and the increased frequency of the patrols. It felt as if we were heading into a storm but were still unsure of which direction it was coming from, and this visit to the capital suggested the first blow could very well come from within.
Another thing that will have to wait , I thought. Fighting my frustration, I returned to my room and sat in the large bay window. The view that had charmed me so much on my arrival had lost its glamour. A tall waterfall cascaded from a high pass on the cliff, carrying ice-cold water to a small lake below. A river bounced and frothed exuberantly from there over jutting rocks with mountain flowers peaking from the cracks, the beautiful scene surrounded by heather and grass that swayed in time to the sighing wind. Still, I longed to be outside the fortress walls.
Alaric was expecting me to attend his workshop, but I needed to think. He said he couldn’t trust me, and even if he’d said he couldn’t trust anyone , it still hurt. However, this wasn’t about my feelings but the pain I had heard in his voice. A pain I hadn’t been aware of. I thought we were friends, but last night made me realise I knew so little of him.
What haunts you, my dark fae? What torments you so much that it leaves you close to violence? The question troubled me. As the days passed, I’d come to care about him, and I wished I could help soothe whatever bothered him. He was at least kind of mine—my Ari, my always teasing fae.
The knock on my door startled me for a moment before I answered, allowing my visitor to enter.
‘Ani, why didn’t you come to our session?’
Alaric walked inside as if nothing had happened. I wanted to talk, but a silent instinct warned me not to say anything … He clearly wanted to play things that way, and I would let him—for now—until I had a plan for what to do about it. I smirked and waved him off.
‘Go away. I’m not in the mood for another attempt to use our synergy. And don’t bother with another lecture on high magic. If you want someone to mix potions, call for a servant.’ Alaric looked like he was about to argue, so I rolled my eyes.
‘No. Nagging won’t work either, I think we established that last night. Why don’t you show me some necromancer spells instead? We may need them when this place becomes overrun with monsters. High magic is so long-winded and boring that it’s mostly useless,’ I groused, unsuccessfully trying to hide my annoyance.
Alaric frowned. His pale, golden eyes narrowed, and a shiver ran down my spine. ‘I apologise for last night, but … boring? High magic is boring ? Do you think I’m boring?’ he smirked, and the flow of aether around him turned purple with necromancy. I shrugged, licking my lips and looking to the side. ‘I … No, you’re … I just need some time to think so … please go.’
He grinned at my flustered response, moving further into the room. ‘Oh, you need time to think when the mere thought of me makes your cheeks that pretty shade of rose?’ His tone was a mix of amusement and challenge. ‘Why would I ever leave you alone with those thoughts, my sweet lady? No … I’m afraid that’s not going to happen. You’re doomed to spend time in my company, so you might as well see just what my magic can do.’
‘Only if I’m willing to tie myself to a stubborn old mule who doesn’t know when to leave a woman’s room.’
‘Better than being the silly goose who sits morosely in her room while a five-hundred-year-old mage is trying to apologise and teach her.’
‘I don’t need your teaching or apology. For the love of all the gods, how many times do I have to tell you? Has your memory failed with old age?’
‘I don’t know, maybe it has. Or maybe I can’t resist the imperious look in your eyes that even the dark fae empress would bow before.’ It took all of my restraint not to shoot a fireball at his head.
‘Oh, just leave, you frustrating man.’ His low, velvety chuckle sparked something in me.
‘Make me,’ he purred. As pure gold danced in his eyes, I swear he purred . He stalked me as he moved closer, his lips promising mischief.
‘What?’
‘If you want me to go, make me. Force this ancient “boring” mage with memory problems to leave. Show me you are stronger than me, beat me into submission, and I will do whatever you ask of me, but if I win, you’ll owe me a boon.’
‘First, that’s not fair—we both know you are better. Second, what boon?’
‘I haven’t decided yet. You’ll just have to trust that I won’t ask for anything outrageous.’ My breath caught at the intensity of his gaze.
This was insane, but I couldn’t help feeling excited. There was no way I could overpower a mage with centuries of experience, but my interest was piqued. To see what Alaric could do, even if it was just a glimpse of his true power, was too good an opportunity to pass.
‘Basic spells and no blades,’ I countered, and he flashed me a deadly smile. ‘Of course, my lady, but why place limits on our fun?’
‘Because I don’t want to hurt you. What would Orm say if I fried your arse?’ I bluffed, hoping to distract him, acutely aware that he had slid into a battle stance.
‘I hope he’d make you kiss it better. I wouldn’t object if that was the price for losing. Besides, who said I’d lose so easily?’ My imagination overwhelmed me with the lurid image … I cursed, realising it was Alaric’s magic and not my own mind that had conjured it. He was so much better at this game, and dispelling the scene took far longer than it should have.
‘Oh no, you don’t,’ I laughed when he drew on the aether to create a shield.
Before it solidified, I attacked. Even though elemental mages needed sigils for almost every other form of magic, when they called on the basic power of the four elements already aligned with the nature of their magic, they only needed thought, intent, and will to perform a spell. I drew the aether into my grasp, transforming its energy into elemental magic, and threw a small fireball in his direction.
Alaric caught it, and I cursed myself. I should have foreseen his proficiency at redirecting the fireball into his spell to complete the shield, flashing his smug smile in my direction as he did so. I blinked in disbelief when Alaric drew another sigil quicker than thought. I watched it unfold, creating a silver spider’s web that flew towards me.
The obscene gesture I offered Ari turned into silvery-blue daggers of ice that sliced through the net, damaging it, but I was forced to dive to the side as the tattered net repaired itself and continued towards me.
‘What the fuck is that?’ I yelped from the floor.
‘Oh, this? It’s just an old fae spell created with the necromancy you so wanted to see. A trap for careless wanderers. C’mon, Nivale. We both know you’re better than this. I won’t let you win without a fight. I want my reward too much to stroke your ego. Try harder or forfeit our duel,’ he taunted, then drew more lines in the air.
The net grew, its strands reaching for me, but I was already on my feet, rushing towards the fireplace.
‘Forfeit? I was trying to be careful, you silver-haired buffoon. But if you want to play hard, fine!’ I cursed myself yet again for limiting our duel. Still, I would not give up. I reached towards the dying fire, grappling with the untamed heart of the flames. Ari could manipulate fire created by magic, but the true chaos of the element could only be tamed by those it called to.
Flames shot in his direction, smoke billowing out, covering everything in ash, but Ari leapt away so fast he was nothing but a blur in the smoke. Worse still, one tendril of his silver net glued itself to my ankle, tugging so hard I almost lost my balance. That frustrated me and presented a dilemma. I was out of my depth, and Alaric was much better at fighting in close quarters. His net spell was so precise and much less disruptive than my elemental spells. Frankly, I wanted to learn it.
Maybe I could have that as my prize if I won …
‘You can’t win this, Ani, but you shouldn’t be bitter about it. I’ve lived a long time, fought and killed so many that I forget their names. Those mages were all more skilled than you. I could call on soul blades or turn the air into poison if our fight was real, but I would never hurt you.’ Alaric stalked closer, his gaze firmly focused on my hand.
‘You may be better, but you know nothing about me if you think I’d surrender so easily.’
Alaric’s eyes widened when he noticed his mistake—I’d pretended to reach for the fire again; instead, the air answered my call. Alaric’s golden eyes slowly turned crimson, but before he could stop me, the wind snapped the window open, ripping it from the frame. A high mountain storm burst through the gap and slammed into my opponent.
He withstood it. The power of my elemental spell blasted him backwards several feet, but he withstood it. I don’t know how. My anger had magnified my power beyond anything I’d intended. I wanted to show him we were equal, but he proved me wrong with his next phrase.
‘Plynn Ilta!’ 1
His voice reverberated through the raging storm, and suddenly, I couldn’t move. While I’d been focused on the force wrecking the room, the silver strings of his net had crept closer and, following Alaric’s command, fastened to my wrists and neck. There was something in the net, a barrier that blocked my access to the aether, and as soon as I was bound, my spell died. Only the now gently flowing aether within my bindings lit the room.
Alaric straightened and walked towards me. His clothes were torn in places, and unruly strands of hair had escaped his braid, giving him a wild, untamed look, but the most significant change was his eyes. They were full of crimson and power.
‘Dark Mother! Ani, that was magnificent .’ Alaric’s voice was so husky it sent shivers down my spine. ‘I’ve never been so close to losing a duel. Do you know how thrilling it is to finally find someone who can withstand my magic? How very alluring that feeling is?’ I stood there, helpless before a predator, and I felt my tongue sneak out to lick my desperately dry lips.
The bindings disappeared, but the raw hunger I saw in his glowing eyes held me in place just as effectively. ‘I’ve decided upon my prize. I want a kiss, Ani. I want to taste you.’
‘And if I don’t want that?’ My voice trembled with emotion.
‘I will accept it, of course. But … I’ll not duel with you again.’ Alaric pulled away, but his gaze never strayed from my lips.
‘Then kiss me. Claim your prize,’ I said, my voice breathy and raw. I didn’t even see Ari move, but the grip on my hair was firm as Alaric claimed my lips. The burning desire that rushed through my body only surprised me for a moment before I lost myself to the passion.
I yielded to his strength, gasping as my body ignited, seeking his touch. I wanted his hands to roam over my skin, but I was no meek maiden, waiting passively as my partner took charge. I exhaled softly, nipping at Ari’s lip, savouring his response as he crushed my body against him. When his hands moved down, caressing my back, I felt Alaric’s questing magic echoing his physical touch as it moved over my soul.
Before the pleasure of the dual sensations overwhelmed all logical thought, I stole a dagger from the sheath on his belt and pressed it to his throat. ‘Yield to me, my dark fae, or must I spill your blood to cool your ardour?’ I teased with a soft chuckle that startled him.
‘Don’t … Hrae! Ani, I … I like pain. You have no idea what you’re doing to me,’ he murmured. He was right. I had no idea what I was doing to him. I only knew the effect he was having on me, the power I felt as he towered over me, desperately holding himself back while his lips rested against my neck.
‘Do you really want this? Would you take me as I am if I gave myself to you?’ he whispered, and I knew our reckless game had turned into something more than either of us had expected.
I hesitated, suddenly anxious. Gone was the confident woman who embraced her desire, replaced by the feeling that I might be out of my depth in a game with rules I no longer recognised.
‘Ye … I … I don’t know. We were just teasing … right?’ I questioned.
‘No, little wildcat, not since the magic in your heart lit the depths of my soul. You have no idea how much I’ve been craving you,’ he breathed, his lips landing on mine.
Damn that man’s voice. I was lost. The dagger fell to the ground as I pulled Ari closer, unaware of the blood that trickled down his neck. My magic soared, flowing over both of us, and my lips parted, our tongues meeting with a fervour that swept me away until the moment I cut myself on his fangs.
When I tasted my own blood, I pulled back with a frown, unsure what had happened. I couldn’t think straight, couldn’t look away from the swirling crimson in Ari’s eyes. ‘Your fangs,’ I said, fumbling for something to say.
‘You taste like the sweetest plum wine. Hrae! I wish I could devour you … Anchor you …’
His reply was too much for me. The room was suddenly too small, and panic squeezed my chest. ‘No … no, wait. It was just a duel, and you got your prize, but I don’t want—I don’t know … I’m sorry, we shouldn’t have …’
Alaric pulled away, breathing heavily before regaining his composure. ‘No, I apologise. You are right. It was just a duel, and I took it too far.’ He licked his lips. ‘I yield, my lady. Few can trick me, but you did it. You are formidable, both as a mage and a woman.’
I didn’t know what to say. Apart from yesterday, Alaric had always been in control. Yet now he looked lost in a maelstrom of emotion—and so was I, because he was no longer the teasing fae I’d grown to cherish. Now, he was so much more … and I found that I liked it.
‘I’m sorry, but I need more time. I lost my …’ This was ridiculous. How could I expect Alaric to understand my feelings when I couldn’t explain myself? It wasn’t only about choosing to take an Anchor—I had warmed up to the idea—but about choosing the right one. Alaric was the obvious choice, and he said he didn’t mind sharing, but the way I felt around Orm … knowing the commander, I didn’t think he was a man who would welcome such an unusual arrangement.
I wasn’t ready to make such choices now. Not before I talked to Orm or understood what was happening to Alaric. With a deep, unsteady breath, I tried again. ‘I’m afraid … no, I’m terrified . I can’t afford to make a mistake, not right now. Even after I Anchored Vahin, my heart rejected him, and we almost died. I need to be sure before committing to someone again and right now, I’m not,’ I said anxiously, before Alaric gathered me in his arms.
‘Shhh, Ani. It’s okay, I understand. The way you stood up to Ihrain, the way you came to me when I needed you … it gave me hope, that’s all, but this was a mistake. C’mon, sweetheart, I want to see your smile, not your tears. I will wait for you, even if it takes a millennium. You’re worth it. After all, you’re the first woman to make me bleed.’ He flirted so effortlessly.
‘What? Oh gods, your neck! I actually cut you. I’m so sorry. Please let me check.’ I made to pull away, but Alaric shook his head.
‘It is not my neck I’m worried about. I can still taste you, smell you … such exquisite torture … so unless you want to adjust my cock, which is painfully hard at the moment, your touch won’t do me any good.’ He said it with such unbridled honesty that I forgot what I was going to say myself, and stuttered. ‘Oh… I don’t think that’s a good idea.’
‘I’d thought as much,’ he teased. ‘In that case, I’ll survive. Gather some personal items and move them next door. I’ll send some workmen and maids to repair the damage in the meantime.’ He placed his hand on his chest and bowed. ‘You won our duel, sweet lady. You’re officially making me leave, so take some time for yourself today,’ he declared as he straightened and shot me a quick smile.
When he left, I sank to the floor, manic giggles escaping my lips as I fell back to stare at the ceiling. ‘That was the most insane, exhilarating, and intimate duel I’ve ever had,’ I said to no one, still giggling, following a crack in the painted ceiling with my eyes. ‘What a rascal!’
A loud gasp had me almost jumping out of my skin.
‘Lady Annika! What happened here? Were you attacked?’ Agnes slipped back into formal speech as she rushed in, grasping my shoulders and checking for injuries. Behind her, several workmen stood silent, looking on in disbelief.
I couldn’t blame them. The window was shattered, and drapes and pillows were scattered all over the floor, mixed with petals and glass shards from various arrangements. There was ash everywhere, and I was in the middle of it all, laughing like crazy.
‘Everything is fine. Alaric and I … did a bit of impromptu sparring.’
‘A duel? In the bedroom?’ Agnes was so agitated that, by the last word, she was screeching. ‘I will inform the commander about this. He’ll put an end to this disgusting behaviour. I swear I’ll not forgive him for this,’ Agnes exclaimed, but as she turned to leave, I raised my hand, stopping her.
‘Lord Ormond is still in the capital, and Alaric did nothing wrong. We were testing our magic, and things got slightly out of hand.’
‘ Slightly?! The window is destroyed, the entire room is ruined, and it will take several days to repair the damage. Where will you sleep, my lady?’ she asked with righteous indignation, and I could only roll my eyes.
‘There’s plenty of space in the castle, and if I can’t find an empty bed, I can always sleep in Vahin’s lair. I’m sure he won’t object,’ I said, gathering my things and, like a coward, running away from her accusing glare. ‘I’ll be with Katja if anyone needs me. Stop worrying so much, Agnes. I’ve slept in worse conditions.’
I grabbed a shawl that had somehow survived the onslaught and rushed out the door before my bossy maid could berate me further.
1. Tie her!