Chapter 5 Starling #2
“What? You mean you saw them? The ninjas—you saw the ninjas?” Her excitement is palpable.
Since the moment that I told her that Sebastian has had security following me for years, she’s been obsessed with spotting them.
Determined to outsmart the professionals my husband has used to stalk me since I was sixteen.
“Saw them and spoke to one of them. His name is Tom Underhill.”
“Oh my god,” she squeals. “How? Why?”
“My neurotic husband has decided that if I want to go to school, I have to take a full team of security guards with me.”
“Okay,” she says slowly, “but haven’t they always been with you at school?”
“I mean, yeah, I guess they have. But he’s decided I have to take them with me, as in surrounding me like a wall of very visible men in suits.”
“Oh shit. Why?” She giggles.
“You know why,” I say with a sigh.
“He still thinks you’re going to do a Houdini?”
“I’ve told him again and again that I’m not going anywhere, but he doesn’t believe me. We had a huge argument yesterday, so he called the dean and changed me to an online student. All of my classes are now recorded lectures and online resources.”
“Wait. So, you guys had a huge fight. Bastian dramatically oversteps, as per usual for his brand of psycho. But that doesn’t explain why you’ve been eye-fucking and why you look…horny.”
Heat rushes to my cheeks as I remember everything that’s happened between us.
“What the fuck?” Sammy blurts, lifting her hand and pointing at my flushed cheeks. “What is happening right now?”
Laughing, I shake my head. “Honestly, I have no fucking clue. Last night we were fighting, and I dragged the security dude upstairs and made him check the windows and doors in our bedroom and bathroom. Then I told him he needed to stay posted outside the door so I couldn’t escape.
After I fell asleep, Sebastian came to bed and he woke me up, and he… ”
“He what?” Sammy asks, her voice hushed.
“He was rough, and he said things, and he did…things.”
“New things?” she questions.
I nod. “He was intense and so in control, and…god, it was like a ten-mile run.”
“I don’t like to run,” Sammy snaps, her brows pulled together, leaning into me.
“Okay, then compare it to walking out of a store after finding everything you want and it all fitting and being on sale at the same time.”
“Oh fuck,” she whistles.
“Yeah.” I nod. “Then this morning, and, well, honestly, all day, he’s been different. We’ve both been different. He hasn’t been treating me like his sheltered little bird”
“Then how has he been treating you?” she questions.
Biting my lip, I contemplate telling her that Sebastian has been treating me like his whore, but that doesn’t feel right, even though he’s called me it several times in the last twenty-four hours.
“How has he been treating you?” Sammy asks again, more insistently.
“God, I don’t know how to explain it.”
“Try,” she snaps.
“Fine,” I hiss, glancing around to check no one else is listening. “You know how I’ve always been scared of anal?”
She nods.
“Well, a while back we bought some plugs, but I was freaked out by them, and we never used them. Well last night, he kind of forced—”
“Forced,” Sammy snarls, interrupting me.
“Not like that, although, yeah, I guess a bit that way. He didn’t hurt me, he just took away my choice. Does that make sense?”
Staring at me for a long moment, Sammy nods slowly. “So, you wanted him to force you to do anal?”
“We didn’t do anal, but he used the small plug on me, and he threatened to use the big one, and then today, he just took what he wanted, and it’s like he was fucking me, this me, not the me from two years ago.”
“Ohhh,” Sammy says, her brows lifting in understanding. “So, you found some new common ground?”
“Exactly,” I agree. “In the past if he made me mad, he’d call me his little bird and tell me he loved me, then he’d tell me he’d never let me go, that he was the lock on my cage, and blah, blah, blah.”
“I mean, that is kind of hot.” Sammy shrugs.
“I know, but I’m not scared of him anymore. I’ve more than proved that if I wanted to go, there’s nothing that he or his merry band of psychos could do to stop me. Hell, you and I are better psychos than they are. We played, we won.”
“Apart from this,” she says, pointing down at her enormous baby belly.
“Well yeah, I don’t think either of thought he’d go that far, but other than that, we out psychoed them because they never saw it coming.
But for Sebastian and me, something changed the day Bunny left; it broke our foundation and left us twisted and struggling to find our balance.
Last night changed things, and today just cemented that change, and I just really hope this time it’s for the better. ”
We all stay at Hunter and Bunny’s until Evan declares that Sammy is tired and that he’s taking her home.
Considering mine and Hunter’s relationship is still frosty, I glance hopefully at Sebastian, who sighs, then announces that it’s time for us to leave too.
I squeeze his hand gratefully when he curls his fingers around mine, waving goodbye as we leave via the beach.
Having a private stretch of beach is weird. There isn’t a massive fence or gates buried in the sand, but our property stretches for miles and is blocked by water at one end, so apart from once or twice, I’ve never seen anyone else on our sand.
Kicking off my shoes, I grip them in one hand and dig my toes into the sand as we walk hand in hand in the moonlight.
“You and Sammy were deep in conversation, is she okay?” Sebastian asks.
“She’s fine. Just huge and ready for the baby to come.”
“What else did you talk about?”
“What do you mean?” I ask, not wanting to admit we talked about us and the filthy change in our dynamic.
“She looked excited, and you were embarrassed. Tell me what you talked about.” His tone lowers, his voice deepening until it’s more than a request, it’s a demand.
“We talked about last night,” I tell him.
“And…”
“And today.”
“And…”
“And how much I enjoyed whatever it is, or was.”
“Hmm.” The sound vibrates through me, making my clit buzz excitedly. “I realized something last night,” he tells me.
“What?”
“I realized that I can’t control your actions anymore.”
“No, you can’t,” I agree, not wanting to have this conversation but knowing that we need to.
“You’ve learned too much to ever be just my little bird anymore. A part of me hates that, because I want to direct your world, but you’re too clever, too sly, and too resourceful. I can’t stop you from leaving me,” he admits, his voice cracking a little.
“Sebastian, I’m not—” I start, but he covers my lips with his finger.
“I know you’re not, because things are going to change between us. I’m never going to give you a reason to want to leave. I’m opening the door to your cage, Starling, but I’m going to imprison your body instead.”
Stunned silent, I stop walking and turn to look at him.
“I need control. I need to be in control, and if I can’t own your world, then I’m going to own your body. You’re mine. You always have been, but things are different. I hate it, but I can’t change it, so I figure that how you belong to me needs to change too.”
“I don’t know what that means,” I admit.
“Yes, you do. You enjoyed last night.”
It’s not a question, but I answer anyway. “Yes.”
“You enjoyed this morning and the rest of the day. The den. The pool.”
“Yes.”
“Good, because I fucking loved it. Jesus, I loved it so much I’ve been rock-hard and fighting the urge to bend you over and fuck you all night.”
“So, you want to have more sex?” I ask, confused about what it is he’s saying.
“No. I’m going to use you as and when I want. I won’t ask. I won’t always make you come. I’m going to own your body in every sense of the word, and you’re going to let me. You won’t say no. You won’t get a choice. You’ll be mine, the same way you always have been.”
Molten lava explodes in my stomach, burning between my thighs as need and desire consume me.
“You’ll be my wife, my love, my little bird. But you’ll be my whore too, and you’ll love it, because you need it just as much as I do.”
Stunned and processing not only his declaration but also the way I’d reacted to it, I let Sebastian lead me down the beach to our house, strip me naked, and curl up behind me in bed.
For the first time in months, Sebastian falls asleep while I lie with my eyes open, wondering exactly what he means.
There’s no denying the fact that I enjoyed the way he treated…
no, handled me today. For years I’ve become accustomed to his control, but since I so openly stepped out from beneath his domination, I’ve struggled to understand my new role in our marriage. Last night and today changed that.
Having him dominate me and force me to obey him sexually recentered me. For the first time in too long to remember, I don’t feel off balance, and if this is what it will feel like all the time, then I’m happy to let him use sex to control me, it’s not like I’m not getting anything out of it.
When I finally fall asleep, it’s with hope blooming in my chest and wetness pooling between my thighs.
“Open.”
The sound of Sebastian’s voice drags me awake, and I blink my eyes open to find him standing over me, his hard dick in his hand, his fist sliding up and down the length.
“Open,” he says again, not waiting for me to do as he asks before he shoves his fingers between my lips and forces them to part.
The moment my mouth is open, he forces his dick down my throat and comes, hot cum making me choke as wave after wave spurts from the head.
“Perfect, swallow every drop,” he coos, stroking my cheek lovingly, even as he forces himself deeper with a final jerk of his hips.
“What?” I start to ask the moment he slides his wet dick out. But instead of speaking, he just smiles and drags the covers back over me again.