3. Xander
CHAPTER 3
Xander
J ohannes Adir, son of Elder Gabriel Adir and a man destined to lead The Covenant one day, has made a pact with the devil and is now fleeing into the dark to save Margarete Donaldson’s life.
My mother cautioned me about the allure of the women from The Covenant, their beauty rumored to be a symbol of virtue and piousness. Yet their outward display of righteousness is a facade, masking a callous willingness to wreck lives to protect the nightmarish secrets of their cult. These women are brought forth to the masses to proclaim The Covenant as a place of holy prayer and devotion to God. These women preen about the sanctity of love and mercy. And these women sit silent and watch the mistreatment of their sisters, willing to sacrifice them repeatedly based on the word of deceitful and demonic men. The Covenant’s victims, stripped of their defenses, become easy targets for those who use religion to mask their wickedness and ignore zealots to line their pockets.
It doesn’t matter what the survivors tell the authorities if they’re lucky enough to escape. Those placed in positions of power never listen to the cries of these victims. As long as the donations pour into the pockets of the rich, they look the other way. What are the lives of children worth to these men and women? What monetary amount makes a politician ignore abuse? A thousand? Ten? A million?
Too bad for The Covenant that women they shamed, shunned, and slandered survived to give birth to men like me, ready and willing to fight. But I never expected to find myself trapped between two siblings on a path of wreckage.
Perhaps that’s how I managed to entangle myself with them. I recognized twin flames in them. Usually, I would slit the throat of any man from The Covenant who touched Margarete. But Johannes isn’t any man.
One hour, forty-two minutes, and fifteen seconds. That was how long I’d waited, shrouded by the shadows of the trees. I was dressed in black as usual, and my mask was firmly in place. There was no way I was risking it falling and someone accidentally seeing my face. The plastic mask held no significance, but it was menacing.
One hour, fifty-seven minutes, and six seconds. That’s how long it took for the lights to go out in her parents’ room.
I turned to him. “Now. Get her now.”
He grabbed the collar of my leather bomber jacket and tugged me toward him, his steel-gray eyes stern as they pierced mine. Did he know that his eyes were a weapon? One look was like the tip of a sharp blade cutting through me. “How am I going to explain everything to her? What if she fuckin’ hates me?”
I shook my head. We didn’t have time to worry about the repercussions. “Better that she hates us than be sold to him. Get her. Now.”
He nodded before jogging toward her window.
I know Margarete’s world will crumble if she finds out about Hans and me. A part of me hates how things have escalated between us. Nothing was supposed to happen, but it did. And if I’m honest, I don’t regret a moment of it. Hans has filled parts of my heart that I didn’t know had the capacity for emotion. It’s different from Margarete but the same in many ways.
Our connection was born of frustration. Maybe it would have been better if it stayed that way—a quick release that provided a distraction from the perpetual hell we were forced to dance in. But the dynamic I experience with Hans is something I didn’t know I wanted or needed.
I’ve always been a gentle lover with women, considerate of their needs. But with Hans, I’ve discovered that my desires are a little more… depraved. I didn’t know how to unleash those wants before him, but he craved my darkness. Hans wants to be diminished. He wants to be used. I’m not sure if his needs are caused by guilt or fueled by his desire to be his true self.
“They’d kill me if they knew about us,” Hans whispered as he frantically kissed me.
Every brush of his lips was a chemical reaction that gave me a high I didn’t know was possible. I was supposed to use him to get closer to his father so I could slit the motherfucker’s throat, but the more I got to know Hans, the more my heart burst open, allowing him to weave his way in.
“I’ll never let any of them hurt you or Margarete.” I grip his hair and pull his head back. “That's a fuckin’ promise, and I keep my damn promises.”
Hans nodded as his fingers quickly worked on my belt buckle. “I wish I could kill him. I tried. I tried that night when he came into my room and put my dick in his mouth. He thought I was sleeping. He’s been drugging me for years. It started that night when he caught me sleeping in Maggie’s bed. We weren’t doing anything. Her mother beat her for God knows what, and I was comforting her. He didn’t believe me. I was fifteen. He pulled me into his room and…”
Jesus fucking Christ. I placed my hands on top of his and stopped him. I didn’t want to fuck him when he was pouring his heart out. I wanted to hold him and reassure him that I would fix it.
He frowned. “What are you doing?”
“You’re not getting on your knees to suck my dick or letting me fuck you against a wall after you’ve told me something like that.”
“I want to. I need to,” Hans said desperately. “Nothing helped until you. When you fuck me, the pain stops. The anger stills. Don’t take away the only thing that’s ever made me feel like I’m worth something.”
I turned away from him and zipped my jeans.
“I disgust you, don’t I?”
“Disgust me?” I rushed toward him, framing his face with my hands. “Baby boy, you could never disgust me. You make me happy, Hans. You make me so fuckin’ happy. I just worry that you’ll resent me.”
I rubbed the back of my neck, unsure how to say the words that needed to be said. My hand flew out, punching the wall. “Damnit, Hans. Don’t you get it? I would fucking die for you. I’m not going to fuck you when you share something like that. I’m not my biological father. I’m not a piece of shit who doesn’t care about anyone but himself. I might call you names and whip you because you need it during sex, but I give a shit about you. I want you to know that. I need you to understand that you’re safe with me. How the fuck can you be safe with me if I ignore all the shit you’ve gone through so I can bust a fuckin’ nut?”
Hans stumbled, and his back hit the wall with a thud. He gazed at me, his eyes haunted. All I wanted to do was hold him and tell him how much he meant to me.
“I’m gonna kill him,” I whispered.
“No. You can’t.” Hans shook his head. “Maggie. We have to think about her. I’ve gotta get her out. We can’t do anything until we have her away from them.”
Maggie. Fuck. I hadn’t told Hans about my fucked up habit of stalking her. That was a conversation for another time. He was right, though. I couldn’t do shit until I knew both of them were safe and away from that motherfucker.
Hans stepped closer. “The only thing you can do for me right now is fuck me until I forget. Please, sir. Use me so that I feel useful.”
I knew I should refuse him, but the sorrow in his eyes made me unable to deny him anything.
I gripped his neck and shoved him against the wall, using my free hand to yank down the gray sweatpants he’d become accustomed to wearing around me for easy access. Turning him, I reached for the bottle of lube on the hotel nightstand, pouring it onto my dick and between his ass cheeks.
With one thrust, I sheathed myself in his tight hole, holding him against the wall by his neck. “Is this what you want, baby boy? You want me to fuck you into oblivion until you forget the hell around you?”
“Yes,” Hans croaked, his voice almost inaudible around the pressure on his neck.
“Fuck, your ass is so tight, slut. Look at how well you’re taking my cock. Pretty little ass slut.”
“Harder. Fuck me harder. Split my worthless ass. Stretch me nice and wide. Let me know you’ve been there. I want to feel you for days.”
I kept my hand on his neck as the other moved to his head, pressing it against the wall as I thrust deeper and faster. I spat on his face, watching my saliva slowly trickle down his cheek as I fucked him like I was fighting for my life. Because I was, in a way. Being raised in that hellhole had changed Hans' brain chemistry. His way of dealing with pain and trauma had become twisted. The only thing that numbed his pain and healed the fractured parts of his soul was me fucking him like he didn’t matter. But he did matter. He mattered so damn fucking much.
“Jerk that pathetic cock,” I growled. “I want you to cum all over your hand.”
Hans worked his cock, pumping vigorously as I railed his ass. “I’m gonna come. Harder. Fuck me harder.”
I did as he requested, moving my hips faster and faster.
“Call me names, Xander. Please, call me names.”
My baby. My sweet, sweet boy needed to be hurt to feel good. “Shut the fuck up, slut. I’ll do what I want. You don’t give orders. I do. You’re only good for your worthless holes and taking my hot cum.”
“Ah!” Hans moaned as his body convulsed.
“Did you just come, fuck toy?”
“Yes. Thank you.”
“Lick it clean.”
Hans licked his cum-covered hand clean as I released deep inside his ass.
I gaze between Hans and Margarete. Two people I care so deeply for. The man who stole my heart and the woman who made me want to be better. At this moment, I’m determined to do what’s necessary for them. They’re different sides of the same coin, and I’m the currency that keeps them afloat.
I wasn’t prepared to watch her light be diminished by being forced into marriage with a man old enough to be her grandfather. A man who would break her down until she was a mindless robot with one purpose in her programming—to serve her husband. Margarete would be a tool of manipulation and indoctrination for the men who run The Covenant. However, I quickly realized that the majority of the women in the group helped to propel the misogynistic and totalitarian way of life.
I’m unsure if these women truly believe what they’re taught or are too scared to stand up for themselves. It can’t be easy being born into a doctrine where they’re spoonfed until they choke, and nobody cares. That’s the thing about religion—too much of it makes people insane. Then there are the young men brainwashed into believing that their dreams don’t matter if they don’t align with the wants of the church. They’re told to abandon their desires and that anything outside of their scripture is blasphemy.
I grind my teeth, wishing I could burn the entire place into oblivion.
I’ve watched Margarete and her brother for years. Spied on them engaging in acts deemed beyond sinful by the community that houses them. I knew I would eventually need them to break The Covenant and strip their mother of everything. I was supposed to stay away, but as time went on, my dead soul began to bloom, and I understood that I wouldn’t allow them to become casualties for the sake of my revenge.
A smile forms on my lips as Johannes spots me. He tugs on Margarete’s hand as they run toward me. But the relief that the nightmare will soon be over is short-lived.
Johannes doesn’t see him. But I do. A Covenant member is trailing them. I squint, trying to get a better view of what he’s holding in the dim moonlight. He’s a few feet behind them as he raises his arms above his head.
Fuck.
He has an axe.
Without thinking, I pull out my gun and fire into the man’s chest. I run toward him, holding the gun in front of me as the man staggers back. I reach him in time to kick the gun he raises from his hand. Dropping to my knees, I pistol-whip him, hammering the butt of my weapon into his head until his flesh splits. He grunts, and his head lolls to the side, but that’s not good enough for me. The fucker was going to kill Hans and Margarete. Lifting him by the collar, I slam his head against a rock until blood pools around him.
“Stop. Xander, stop.” Strong hands grip my shoulders, tugging me off the mass of brain matter and blood.
I turn to glare at Hans before my gaze lands on Margarete. I don’t hesitate, running toward her.
I slap my hand across Maggie’s mouth. “You’re fine. I'm not going to hurt you.” I point at the axe with my free hand. “He was about to put that in Hans' back. I’ll remove my hand, but you have to stay calm. We aren’t deep enough into the forest yet. They could still find us. Nod if you understand.”
Maggie nods, and I release her. She holds my gaze. “Xander?”
“In the flesh, baby girl.”
Johannes straightens to his full height of six-two. His Adam's apple bobs as my six-seven frame towers over him. He shakes his head. “We can sort this later.”
I grab Maggie’s hand and rush her past the dead body. “Agreed.”
We run through the trees until we reach the clearing where my truck and Hans’ motorcycle are parked. There’s only one way in and out of The Covenant—the road through the forest in front of us. It’s not like no one can leave the encampment. A trusted few have the privilege of visiting nearby towns to gather certain foods that can’t be found on the compound. It was how I officially met Hans for the first time.
Margarete stands firm and tugs my hand, forcing me to turn to her. “What are you doing here, Xander? You told me you didn’t work for the FBI.”
I chuckle. “The FBI? Is that the best you can come up with? I’m far too useful and efficient to waste my talents on the FBI. I’m a little offended that you’d even go there.” I wink. “Lesser man would cut out your tongue for such a vicious insult.”
“Watch how you talk to her,” Hans spits.
He stands with his right foot forward, knees bent. He fists his hands beside his temples, knuckles facing up and elbows tucked in.
I lean against the tree behind me and cross my arms over my chest. “Southpaw, are we? Listen, Hans, I’m not interested in fighting you, but if I were, you’d be on your ass before you knew what was happening.”
I push off the tree and take three quick steps. Hans barely has the chance to blink before I kick his feet from under him and push him to the ground, my hand wrapped around his neck. “It’s cute how you think you’re a match for me.” I glide the index finger of my other hand along his cheekbone to his full lips. “I think you’d better stick to what you know. Being a pretty boy.”
“Who the fuck do you think you are?” Hans hisses.
I bark out a laugh. “Don’t you know God when you see him, pretty boy?”