Chapter 11
ELEVEN
Madi
“ W elcome to the family, sis.” Adrian’s brother slides into the seat next to me. I met Fede briefly at the rehearsal dinner, not that I remember much of what was said, as my head was still buzzing with the news that I wasn’t getting out of this marriage.
Fede puts an arm around my seat, and I eye him skeptically. Adrian isn’t here right now. After we entered the beautifully decorated venue, we cut our cake and sat down for dinner to be served. As soon as he finished, he excused himself, telling me to stay right here. The demand made me want to not listen, just to prove to him that I’m not a pet he can boss around. But my feet hurt from these stupid high heels, and I have no desire to mingle with the people here.
I take a gulp of champagne. “What do you want?”
“Ouch,” Fede chuckles. “You have claws.”
Turning my head, I give him a scathing look. “That’s what you want? To insult me. Please go away.” I flutter my fingers in a motion to shoo him off. Fede doesn’t budge, though.
“I just want to get to know my new sister-in-law.”
“Ugh,” I groan. “How about we don’t and say we did?” It’s a petty line, something I remember saying far too much in grade school, but Fede smiles.
“You married my brother. We’re family now, Madi.”
I find Fede’s insistence to refer to me as his family — his sister — infuriating. I have no desire to make polite conversation with the man. I don’t want to be here at all, and if I had a choice in the matter, I surely wouldn’t be his sister-in-law.
“This is all a sham. You do know that, right?” I finish off my champagne, feeling disappointed when I see the bottom of the glass.
“I know.” Fede grins. “And I’m glad you know it too.” He leans in close enough that I can smell his breath, making me nauseous. “You’re just the arm candy. The cute little princess that secures his place in your family and looks good while hanging on him. You gonna be able to do that?” His voice is low, and one eyebrow tilts up as he waits for me to answer his question.
“Fuck off,” I spit at him.
Fede leans back, more laughter leaving his lips.
Before I can tell Fede where he can shove his antiquated ideas of what a woman should be, Adrian interrupts us, an older woman sheathed in a pale blue dress on his arm.
“Madi, this is my nonna, Teresa.” He introduces me to his grandmother while giving me a look, one I recognize easily, telling me to watch my words. It doesn’t take me long to realize that the woman doesn’t know about our arrangement, and everything about Adrian’s expression is hopeful I’ll play along. Immediately, I want to tell her this is a fraudulent wedding and that her grandson all but dragged me down the aisle.
“Nice to meet you, Teresa.” I try my best to smile like I’m not miserable.
“Call me Nonna.” Teresa ignores the hand I extend to her, instead pulling me into a hug, her arms wrapping around me while she squeezes. In any other situation, I would push someone away for touching me, but with Adrian’s grandmother, I find myself leaning into her hug, finding a sense of comfort in her grasp.
I can’t help but smile at the warmth that radiates from her. She reminds me of my grandmother, the thought simultaneously making me smile while sadness fills my gut.
“I’m sorry my grandson had no sense to bring you over for dinner before marrying you.” She smiles warmly at me while shaking her head at Adrian. “I raised him better than that, but seeing how beautiful you are, I think I understand the rush.” As if she figured out a secret, she winks at me. I could never be the one to tell her this isn’t love, even if the idea of crushing Adrian entices me.
Adrian groans at her words. “I wasn’t hiding her, Nonna.”
“Mmhmm.” Her eyes are still on me, sharing a look that says sure he wasn’t. I’m surprised when a laugh bubbles out of me. I can’t remember the last time I did that. She squeezes my arm in a long touch. “You and I will have to get together, yes? You’ll have to tell me what you like to do. I mostly cook, but I’m not going to be the old lady who forces her grandson’s favorite recipes on his new bride.”
“I would love your recipes,” I shock myself by saying. I don’t cook. Not really. “But I’m afraid I’m a terrible cook.”
“Nonsense.” She shakes her head. “I don’t believe that. We’ll have to cook together then, si?”
“Si.” I nod.
“Come on, Nonna.” Adrian tugs her away before we can conspire anymore. “Let’s get you onto the dance floor.”
“It was nice meeting you, Madi.” She smiles, and then she’s off, leaving me surprised that someone so sweet could be related to someone so evil.
“Come to the bathroom with me.”
I’m swishing my champagne around, watching the flecks of edible glitter sparkle in the flute, when Zoe interrupts me. There’s a serious look on her face, and I can see her fingers twitching at her sides. Luckily for her, Adrian is off schmoozing up to someone. He told me the name, but I couldn’t be bothered to retain it.
“Do you need help?” I lift an eyebrow with my question.
While John’s girlfriend might be the perfect match for him, the one thing she isn’t is a good liar. Or maybe I just have a nose for deception.
“Just…” She stumbles over her words. “Come with me,” she urges.
“Fine.” I set the flute of champagne back onto the white-clothed table and follow her.
I can feel eyes burning through my back as Zoe leads me across the venue. Everything is too pretty here, too Pinterest perfect. The venue is half inside, half out, with a stunning courtyard clouded with greenery. The magnificence of everything has a ball of guilt and anger coiling in my stomach. I’m not sure if I’m mad that all these people are taking part in my fraudulent wedding, or if I feel like a fraud for sitting at the front of it all in a white dress.
Zoe swings open the door to the single bathroom, ushering me inside and locking it behind me.
“What is up with you?” The words have barely left my lips when I spot John leaning against the brick wall, his black-cased phone gripped in his fingers. “What the fuck, guys?”
Without a word, John turns the phone around in his hand, showing me the blue-lit screen. Lana’s face lights up when she sees me through the camera, and it takes me a second to realize what’s happening. My cousin slash best friend is staring at me through a cell phone screen, her hazel eyes glowing with excitement as she lets out a screech.
“Madi!” Her voice is the same, and it sends a spark of mixed signals through my body. Happiness and pain swirl together like twisted ice cream. I’m so ecstatic to see her, I want to scream, but at the same time, I feel tears prick at the corners of my eyes.
My fingers reach for the phone, as if holding it might make her closer to me. I wish I could hug her, wish she was tangible in front of me. But I’ll take what I can get.
“Lana.” Saying her name feels different. It’s been pressed to the back of my throat too many times since she ran away, leaving me behind. I was never mad at her, could never be mad at her. Staying in New Orleans just for me would have been stupid. She would have been married off to that prick, and God knows how he would have hurt her, beat her down until there was nothing left. Or worse, pushing her to end it herself.
I want my cousin to be happy and safe more than anything in the world. I just selfishly wish I was happy and safe with her.
“How are you? Are you okay? You look beautiful!” The questions and compliment rattle from her mouth in a flurry of words.
“I’m fine, I’m fine,” I say quickly, the lie rolling off my tongue easily.
“You’re not fine,” Lana accuses, tilting her head to the side as she watches me. “You’re not fine, Mads, and there’s nothing wrong with that.”
My eyes move to John briefly, wondering what he told our cousin. Does she know that I asked for an out and he said no? He’s leaning against the wall, one arm wrapped around Zoe and the other tucked into his pocket. His eyes meet mine for a moment, and he nods at the phone as if he can tell I zoned out whatever other pretty words Lana was saying to me.
She’s trying to make me feel better, but I’m not sure if words alone can do that.
This is all temporary, I remind myself as I blink away the emotion building behind my eyelids and bring my focus back to Lana.
“Honestly, I’m okay, Lana. How are you?” I try to redirect, but her eyes tell me she’s not buying it.
“We’re good.” Her lips tick up into a small smile as she tells me about New York, about Naz, about the happiness they’ve found away from this city.
Something burns in my chest, the fire taking over the organ pumping blood through my body. My emotions are coiled so tightly around my heart, squeezing until I think it might explode.
This is all temporary, I repeat the mantra to myself.
But it’s still real right now.
And even temporary grief feels world-ending.
“We’re running out of time,” John interrupts the conversation. “Someone will notice you’re missing soon,” he adds, his eyes glued on me.
Lana’s face twists into a frown on the phone. “One more minute?” she asks, her voice raising an octave as she whines.
“Sorry, Lan, but no.”
“It’s okay.” I try to slip my mask back on, put on a reassuring smile for my cousin. “I’m glad I got to see you.”
“Me too. We’ll see each other soon. I promise.”
I don’t know if she can keep that promise. The future seems bleak, and even though I want to be on her side, my marriage ties me to the enemy.
“Soon,” I assure her anyway, trying to take comfort in the idea, at least.
But something tells me this isn’t going to end the way I want it to.