Chapter 29
Chapter
Twenty-Nine
Britta
M y mind spun from Kann's confession. None of them were you .
The words echoed in my head as I stumbled forward, barely registering where I was putting my feet. I only knew I needed to move.
How was I supposed to process that? This was Kann—my friend, my instructor, the Drexian I'd worked alongside. Now he was saying he'd been jealous? That he'd hated teaching me to flirt because he wanted me for himself?
I wanted to believe him. I wanted to believe that the kiss hadn't been just another conquest for him, that I wasn't just another female to add to his legendary list. But I'd seen too many women destroyed by believing pretty words from handsome men.
Memories of my friend Emily surfaced unbidden. We’d met during officer training for the Air Force and had become fast friends. She was smart, driven, and determined to rise high in the ranks—just like me. But instead of seeing each other as the enemy, we’d joined forces and helped each other. It had been us against all the other guys who were certain they deserved everything more than we did, usually only because we were women.
Emily had been my only real friend, the first person I’d fully trusted. That was why I’d been so wary when she got married. She’d assured me that her husband wanted to support her dreams. He was one of the good ones, she’d said. Even when she’d gotten pregnant, she was certain she could take a temporary leave and come back. Only when her husband had started up with his secretary six months after the baby was born, did Emily realize that he wasn’t a good guy and it had all been lies. I’d watched her dreams slowly get stolen, and with every step I’d told myself it would never happen to me.
Never.
So why did Kann's words make my heart flutter? Why did I desperately want to believe him? Why did every fiber of my being ache for him to be the exception to the rule, for him to be the truly good guy?
“Britta,” his deep voice snapped me from my wandering thoughts.
I turned to him, wanting to hear what else he could say, wanting to be convinced so there was no doubt. I had barely registered the concern on his face, when the ground beneath my feet seemed to disintegrate.
My stomach lurched as I started to fall, panic surging through me too late, as I realized my distraction had kept me from watching for traps. The heavy leaves covering the ground had been hiding a pit, and I was going to plummet to the bottom of it. A scream lodged in my throat as my arms flew up instinctively. How deep was the hole? Would I break my legs when I landed? What would I land on—water, hard ground, mud?
I closed my eyes and braced myself for impact when my descent jerked to a halt. My head snapped back, and my eyes flew open as it felt like one arm was ripped from the socket. “Fuck!”
I looked up to see Kann's face above me, his features tight with strain as he held me by one wrist and the rest of my body dangled over the dark hole in the ground.
"Are you okay?" he called down.
"Y-yes," I managed to squeak out, my heart thundering so loud I could barely hear my own voice. It would be rude to tell him that my arm was screaming in pain, and I might have gotten whiplash. Despite the pain, I was grateful not to be at the bottom of a pit.
"Can you see the bottom?"
I forced myself to look down and immediately wished I hadn't. The pit was a black maw beneath me, its depths lost in shadow. My stomach roiled.
"No," I said, fighting to keep the tremor from my voice. Don't think about being trapped down there, I told myself firmly. Don't think about the darkness, the walls, the—
"I'm going to pull you up," Kann said, his voice steady and reassuring.
I didn’t have the strength to reply. I was too busy keeping my lips pressed together, so I wouldn’t scream from fear at the thought of him dropping me into the blackness.
I was rising slowly, and despite my terror, a small part of my brain noted with fascination how easily he managed my weight and how he was using one arm to lift me. Drexian strength was legendary, of course, but experiencing it firsthand was something else entirely.
Then my progress stopped, and I felt a tug on the cloak that was still hanging from my neck. It had snagged on a root that protruded from the side of the pit. “I’m stuck,” I called up. “Hold on.”
With my free hand, I unhooked the cloak from my neck, glancing down as it fluttered through the air and vanished into the darkness. I peered up at Kann. “All good.”
He resumed pulling. When I reached the lip of the hole, I grabbed for purchase with my one free hand, my fingers finding tree roots and damp earth. The loamy scent of wet dirt filled my nostrils as I scrabbled for a hold, feeling the cool dampness seep into my uniform. With one final heave from Kann, he pulled me fully onto solid ground. Well, half solid ground and half solid him.
Kann flopped onto his back, breathing heavily as I lay partially sprawled across his chest. I was too relieved not to be in a dark pit to be embarrassed about our position. For several long moments, we both just lay there, sucking in great gulps of air. I'd never been so happy to be in an awkward, uncomfortable position in my life.
"Thank you," I said finally. "My tab is getting pretty big."
“Tab?”
I managed a wobbly laugh. “It’s an Earth word that means an accounting of what I owe you.”
"You don't owe me anything," he replied, his breath now even.
A warm flush of pleasure spread through me at his words, accompanied by an odd feeling of safety, which was ridiculous, considering we were still trapped in a malfunctioning simulation with who knew what other dangers around us. But somehow, having Kann with me made everything feel less terrifying. Especially since he was so good at saving my ass.
Then he rolled me over so that I was on the ground and he was propped above me. His face was so close to mine that our warm breath intermingled. He started to push himself back, but I fisted my hands in the front of his uniform, forgetting about where we were and what had almost happened.
“Maybe I want to owe you something,” I whispered.
The sound he made was part groan and part tortured sigh, and it had barely slipped from his mouth before his lips were on me. The kiss was hard and urgent, as if all the unfed desire between us was being sated by his hungry mouth and dominant tongue.
He parted my lips, his tongue tangling desperately with mine until I didn’t know which needy sounds were mine and which were his. Then he broke the kiss as quickly as he’d started it, pulling back and panting, as his fiery gaze held mine.
“We can’t.” The words sounded as if they were being taken from him by force, but his jaw clenched as he sat back. “Not here.”
I was dazed, but nodded as he stood and pulled me up with him. I tried to ignore the swollen tingle of my lips and the hammering of my heart, as he brushed bits of leaves and dirt off my uniform and then his.
Kann cleared his throat, his eyes still dark and his skin feverish. “I shouldn’t have done that. I was just so scared that I almost lost you and…”
I wanted to reassure him that he should have kissed me and that he hadn’t lost me, but his kiss had left me in a haze.
"We should be close to the academy.” He pointed through the trees. "I can see the walls from here." He glanced back the way we'd come and frowned. "The mountains are gone."
I managed to follow his gaze to where the Gilded Peaks should have been looming against the sky. Their absence sent a chill down my spine and cleared the last cobwebs from my mind. The simulation was definitely deteriorating.
"I'll take point," Kann said, "and scout for any more pits." He gave me a wink. “Good job finding that one.”
I should have been annoyed by his teasing remark, but his rakish grin did nothing but make butterflies flutter in my stomach. Not to mention the mind-blowing kiss. Why did the Drexian have to be so charming? It made it both impossible to stay angry at him, and equally impossible for me to convince myself he wasn’t a seductive liar.
“Impressive.”
I froze, my blood running cold. That was not Kann’s voice.
We were not alone.