Chapter Eleven
Joel
My heart is racing, but I make sure not to show it as I help Zoe remove her scuba gear. Emma and Clive are already on board, and all four of them come over as they see her white face.
“What happened?” Manu asks, popping an umbrella over us. It’s pouring hard now, and we’re both shivering.
“Her regulator started free flowing,” I reply. “I’m guessing it iced up. It’s pretty cold down there.”
“Jesus.” He takes her gear from me, and he and Hōri start investigating the regulator and tank.
Emma puts her arm around Zoe and squeezes her. “It’s all right, love,” she soothes, “you’re okay. Well done on staying calm and getting to the surface.”
Zoe glances at me. She’s trembling, although whether it’s from cold or fear, I’m not sure. Probably both. This kind of error can happen even to experienced divers, and suddenly realizing you’re out of air is enough to make anyone panic.
Emma glances at me, then back at Zoe. “Come on, let’s get you both changed, and we’ll start heading back. This weather’s in for the day.”
Emma helps Zoe out of her wetsuit while I get out of mine. Clive holds an umbrella over me and attempts to shield me as I change, but it’s not easy in the pouring rain, and I’m past caring who sees me—I just want to make sure Zoe’s all right. I yank off my rash vest, strip off my dive shorts, towel myself as dry as I can, then tug on a dry pair of swim shorts and pull a hoodie—my second, as Zoe stole my first—over my head. Taking the umbrella from Clive, I go back over to Zoe and Emma.
Zoe’s just pulling my hoodie over a dry T-shirt. Emma wraps a blanket around her, then takes a cup of hot coffee from Hōri and passes it to Zoe as she sinks onto the bench at the back of the boat.
“I’ll fetch up the anchor,” Clive says, as he’s still in his wetsuit.
I accept a cup of coffee from Hōri and sit beside Zoe.
“Can I get you anything else?” Emma asks.
“I’m okay,” Zoe says, although she’s still shivering. She cups her hands around the coffee and sips it. “Ah, that’s good.”
“It was very cold down there,” I acknowledge, having a mouthful of my own coffee. “I’m guessing your regulator froze up.”
“I didn’t check for moisture before we went down,” she says. “It was my fault.”
“It was nobody’s fault. It happens, Zoe.”
“I panicked,” she says, trembling. “I couldn’t think straight.”
“That’s very normal.”
“You didn’t panic,” she says.
“Well, first, you have no idea what I was feeling, and second, I do this for a living, remember? I’ve got the most dive hours out of anyone at MOANA.”
She looks at me, and her green eyes are glassy, brimming with tears she’s trying to hold back. “I was so scared. I really thought I was going to die down there for a minute.”
“I wouldn’t have let that happen. That’s what a dive buddy is for.”
She looks puzzled. “But you didn’t give me your octopus. You gave me your regulator immediately, without checking that your octopus was working.”
“I gave you the regulator I knew was functioning because I’d just been breathing through it. You were out of air—I wasn’t going to give you a regulator that might not have worked for whatever reason.”
“But if the octopus hadn’t worked, you’d have been out of air.”
“Then we could have shared the primary one while we surfaced. I had time to work it out. I can hold my breath for a long time if I have to, Zoe.”
“You saved my life.”
“No, I just did what anyone else would do.”
She holds my gaze. “You saved my life.”
I don’t know what to say to that, because for all intents and purposes, she’s right. But that’s what you do when you dive with someone. It wouldn’t have mattered if it was Manu or Emma or Hōri or Clive—I’d have done exactly the same thing.
But deep inside me, something pokes me with a stick. Be honest, Joel .
It’s not the first time I’ve helped out a dive buddy, and I wouldn’t have done anything different with anyone else. But seeing Zoe’s alarm, her eyes wide with panic, and her regulator out of her mouth, sent an uncharacteristic shoot of terror through me. I’m known for being calm in a crisis, and I’m glad she obviously didn’t see my horror. But I felt it. And at that moment, I’d have done anything, anything , to ensure she made it to safety, even at the expense of my own life.
I’m not surprised by that realization. I’ve known I had feelings for her for some time. But it does feel as if the clouds have cleared, and the sun has come out.
I’m in love with her. There’s no doubt in my mind at all. And now all I need to do is convince her to fall in love with me.
I guess saving her life is a pretty good start.
She glances down for a moment. Then she looks back up at me, and her expression shows a touch of mischief. “That doesn’t mean I’m in your debt,” she says weakly.
“You’re totally in my debt,” I joke. “I’m going to be calling in favors for weeks.”
She chuckles. Then, to my surprise, she leans against me, her head on my shoulder. I want to give her a hug, but I’m holding the umbrella, so instead I tilt it to shield us both from the rain and kiss the top of her head.
Clive surfaces, and Hōri and Manu stow the anchor. Manu takes the helm, cursing as the increasing waves bump us against the reef. Soon, though, we’re heading back to Opito Bay.
It’s lunchtime, but Zoe refuses a sandwich.
“How are you feeling?” Emma asks her.
“I’m fine.” She’s still trembling, though, and still white-faced.
“Maybe you should take her to get checked out,” Emma says to me.
“Where’s the nearest hospital?”
“Probably Kaitaia.”
“That’s about ninety minutes away, right?”
“Yeah. Or Whangarei, but that’s about ninety minutes as well.”
“I said I’m fine,” Zoe says.
I ignore her. “Actually, I know a doctor. I might give him a call.”
Zoe stiffens. “Don’t I have any say in this?”
“No.” I take my phone out of my pocket. Luckily, we’re heading back to land, and it has a weak signal. I pull up my contacts, find Brock King’s number, and dial it.
“Who is he?” Zoe asks as I put the phone to my ear.
“A friend of the family.” I wait, frowning, as the rain lashes down on the deck.
He answers on the sixth ring. “Brock King.”
“Brock, good afternoon, it’s Joel Bell here, Atticus Bell’s son. We met a few years ago, at a charity event in Auckland, I don’t know if you remember?”
“Joel, of course. It was the We Three Kings Christmas Ball, right?”
“That’s right.” Brock runs a company with his brothers called the Three Wise Men that makes medical equipment for children. They also run a charity called We Three Kings that grants wishes for sick and terminally ill children, and they’d asked for prizes for their holiday auction. Dad had heard through the church and suggested we donate a week’s stay in the sleepout next to our house. The family could join ours for Mum’s home-cooked meals if they wanted, and it would include whatever activities the child and their family desired—anything from tours of the surrounding mountains and forests to a visit to the local thermal pools, to fishing in the Waiau River, to joining our family for board games and playing with our dogs. I went to the auction to describe and present the prize, and I met Brock and his brothers—Charlie and Matt—that evening.
“It’s good to hear from you,” he says. “What can I do for you?”
“I’m up in Opito Bay at the moment on an excavation. We’re just heading back on the dive boat. My friend had a diving accident, and I’m looking for some advice.”
“Is it decompression sickness?”
“No, her regulator malfunctioned when we were thirty meters down. Everything’s fine—I was her dive buddy, and we shared my tank while we surfaced. She’s insisting she’s okay, and it is raining and quite cold today, but she’s shivering and quiet and I’m worried she might be in shock.”
“Was she injured? Is she bleeding?”
“No.”
“Okay, then it’s emotional shock, and she’s reacting to the fight or flight response. Does she feel sick or dizzy? Does she have a tight chest or throat?”
I repeat his question to Zoe. “I have a headache,” she whispers. “I feel a bit like I can’t think straight.”
“That’s quite common,” Brock says when I repeat it back to him. “Did she take in any water?”
“I don’t think so, or it was minimal at most.”
“Right. I’m sure she’s going to be fine, but I’ll come over and check her out, just to be sure.”
“You’re not in Auckland?”
“No, now I’m retired I spend most of the time in the Northland with my kids and grandkids. I’m in Kerikeri at the moment. Where are you staying?”
“At the Montgomery.”
“Nice, I know it. I’ll get going now. I’ll be about half an hour.”
“Thanks, Brock.”
“No worries, see you soon.” He ends the call. “He’s going to meet us at the villa in thirty minutes,” I tell Zoe.
“It’s a lot of fuss over nothing,” she states, glaring at me.
“You’re still shaking.”
“It’s cold!”
“Zo, you can protest all you want but he’s coming, so you might as well deal with it.”
She looks at Emma, who just raises her eyebrows and says, “You know how bossy he is. There’s no arguing with him.”
Zoe folds her arms and glowers. I give Emma a wry look, pass her the umbrella, and take Zoe’s empty coffee cup. Despite saving her life, I guess I’m going to be in the doghouse for a while. Oh well. Not much I can do about that. I’m not backing down.
I put the cups away, then start helping Clive and Hōri tidy up. We put the few artifacts we’ve recovered into buckets of fresh water, as rapid drying can cause them to crumble into dust. We stow the scuba gear and the archaeology equipment, and by the time Manu pulls into the marina, we’re all done.
Clive brings the trailer up, and we load all the gear onto it, then attach it to his car. He’ll take it back to the office.
By this time, Emma has taken Zoe up to the Cruising Club building, and I pick her up from there. “Take care,” Emma says, giving Zoe a hug beneath the umbrella. “I hope you feel better tomorrow.”
“I’ll be fine,” Zoe says, although I can see she’s still trembling. She’s also quiet, which is very unlike her.
I say goodbye to the others, take her to the car, and stand there holding the umbrella while she gets in. Then I close the door, throw the umbrella in the back, and go around to the driver’s side. Once I’m behind the wheel, I watch as she tries to buckle her seatbelt in. Her hand is shaking so much that she can’t slot the clip in. Eventually, I take it from her and push it until it clicks, then start the engine and head out to the main road.
We don’t speak as I drive us back to the hotel. Now, I’m glad we stayed so close to the marina. I park out the front, then take out our backpacks and our wetsuits on their hangers. It’s still raining, and the two of us run along the outer corridor to our villa, and I unlock it so we can go inside.
We just get in when the rain seems to double in volume, hammering on the patio tiles and thudding on the rock. “Good old Northland sub-tropical rain,” I say, looking out of the window at the droplets bouncing off the table where we sat and had dinner only two nights ago.
Zoe turns away. “I’m going to get changed. My clothes are wet.”
“Okay. You need a hand?”
She stops and gives me a look.
“I’m serious,” I protest.
“I’ll be fine.” She disappears into her room and closes the door.
I frown, but there’s little I can do if she won’t let me help.
I go into my own room and change into a dry tee and shorts. I’ve just finished when there’s a knock at the door, and I go out to see Brock raising a hand through the window.
I open the door and smile. “Hey, thanks so much for coming.”
“Hello, Joel.” He comes in, puts down the doctor’s bag he’s carrying, and gives me a bearhug. “It’s good to see you.” He’s a big guy, taller than me, with silver hair and a mostly silver beard. I know he has several kids who help run an animal sanctuary on the coast near Waitangi. He’s one of the good guys.
“Likewise.” I close the door behind him.
“How is she?”
I tip my head from side to side. “Okay, I think. But she said she thought she was going to die, and I think it really shook her up.”
“That’s understandable.” He picks up his bag and follows me through the house. “Is she an experienced diver?”
“She’s got her scuba certificate, but she hasn’t been diving for a few years.”
“Good job she was with you, then.”
“I guess.”
“You gave her your octopus?”
“Yeah. Well, no, I gave her my primary and I used the octopus. It made sense at the time.”
He smiles at me. “Good lad.”
I give him a wry look and pause outside her bedroom door. “Her name’s Zoe Moon.”
“Is she your girlfriend?”
“Not yet.”
He gives a short laugh. “Okay.”
I knock on the door. Zoe says, “Come in.” I open it, and we go in.
She’s sitting in bed, fully dressed, her legs drawn up with the covers over them. Her hair is still damp. My hoodie rests over a chair, also a little damp.
“Hello, Zoe,” Brock says easily with the kind of bedside manner we all want from our GPs. “I’m Brock King, and I’m a doctor and a friend of Joel’s. He said you’ve had a bit of a shock. How are you feeling?”
I half-expect Zoe to protest that she doesn’t need a doctor and she feels just fine, but to my surprise her eyes fill with tears. “I’m all right,” she says, but her voice is little more than a squeak. She presses her fingers to her mouth. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”
“You’ve had a shock, that’s all.” Brock sits on the side of the bed. “It’s okay, it’s perfectly normal to react like this.” He glances over his shoulder at me. “Joel, how about you make us all a cuppa? Hot, sweet tea is good at a time like this for both of you.”
My eyebrows rise. “I’m okay.”
“You think you are, but you’ve had a shock too, and both of you are as white as a sheet. Go on.”
I nod, give Zoe a last glance, pick up my wet hoodie, then reluctantly leave the room. I’m guessing that part of the reason he asked me to make a drink is because he wants to talk to her alone, and that’s fair enough.
I throw the hoodie in the tumble dryer with our other wet clothes and turn it on. Then I boil the kettle. When it’s done, I pour the hot water over tea bags in three mugs, squeeze out the bags and pour in some milk, then add a teaspoon of sugar to mine and Zoe’s before carrying the mugs back into her room.
I’m relieved to see her laughing at something Brock said, and her cheeks hold a little more color now. I put the mugs on the bedside table and pass hers to her, and she smiles at me and says, “Thank you.”
“Everything’s good,” Brock says, accepting a mug as I pass it to him. “Her pulse and blood pressure are slightly raised, but that’s to be expected after an emotional shock. Just Panadol or Nurofen for the headache and any other aches and pains. Lots of rest, and sleep if you feel like it. And don’t worry if you feel emotional, numb, or anxious. All those emotions are normal. Just take it easy, okay? You’ve had a very traumatic experience. It’s not every day we come face to face with our own mortality. It’s going to have an effect on you both.”
He looks at me then. “Sit down. I’d like to check your blood pressure.”
“Brock, I’m fine.”
“Do as you’re told, please.”
I flick Zoe a wry look as she chuckles and sit on the end of the bed. Brock puts the Velcro band around my arm and pops his stethoscope back in his ears, then pumps up the band. The three of us sit quietly while he takes the reading. I look at Zoe. Her eyes meet mine over the rim of her mug, but she doesn’t say anything as she sips her tea.
“It’s fine,” Brock says, removing the band. “But you’re fit and used to diving. It doesn’t mean what happened today hasn’t had an effect on you.”
“I don’t feel anxious.”
“You’re used to controlling your stress. Zoe was telling me how you meditate, and how you said that freediving is mainly about mindfulness and staying relaxed.”
“I thought about that when we were at the safety stop,” she says. “When you were touching my hair.” She glances at Brock then, embarrassed.
He busies himself with putting the monitor away. “But just because you can stay calm doesn’t mean you don’t experience stress. So, the same goes for you—rest and relaxation today, please. Have some lunch, take a nap, watch some TV.”
“But we can dive tomorrow?” Zoe asks.
“I don’t see any reason why not, physically. But be kind to yourself, that’s all.” He has a few sips of tea, then gets to his feet. “I’m going to head off as I’m supposed to be meeting my kids for lunch.”
“Thank you,” Zoe says, shaking his hand.
“No worries at all. You take care of yourself.”
I stand as well and walk with him out of the room and through the living room to the front door. “Thank you so much for coming,” I say to him, shaking his hand. “I really appreciate it. Send me the bill, okay?”
He waves a hand. “I came to visit a friend.”
“She’s really okay?”
“Physically, yes. She’s pretty shaken up though.” He studies me, his eyes twinkling. “She said you saved her life.”
“I only did what any other dive buddy would have done.”
“She doesn’t see it that way,” he says softly.
I don’t know what to say to that.
His lips curve up. “Cat got your tongue, Joel?”
“I don’t want her to feel beholden to me.”
He snorts. “I’d make the most of it.”
That makes me laugh. “Have a good afternoon,” I say as I open the door.
He grins. “You too.” He gives a wave, then goes out and disappears around the corner.
I close the door and walk slowly back through the living room and into her room. “Hey,” I say, sitting back on the end of the bed. “How are you feeling?”
“Embarrassed.” She rubs her nose. “He was nice, though.”
“Yeah, he’s cool.” I watch her tremble and gesture at her head. “Your hair is still wet.”
She touches it. “I forgot.”
I rise and go into her bathroom, collect the hairdryer and pick up her brush, and come back into the room. I plug the hairdryer in beside the bed and perch on the edge where Brock was just sitting. “Turn around.”
“I’m not an invalid.”
“Stop arguing and do as you’re told.”
Her lips twitch, but to my surprise she shifts on the bed and presents her back to me. She’s wearing a tee and yoga pants, and she looks all comfortable and soft. I have to fight not to run my hands over her.
Instead, I start to brush her hair.
I know you’re not supposed to brush hair when it’s wet as it’s prone to breaking, so I do it slowly and carefully, drawing the brush from her scalp to the ends in long strokes, stopping if I find a tangle, and teasing it out.
We don’t speak while I do it. She sits with her head tipped back a little, and at one point, when I glance at her, I can see her eyes are closed. Smiling, I take my time, smoothing my hand over the strands as I brush them.
“Why did you touch my hair when we were at the safety stop?” she asks halfway through.
I pause in the midst of brushing, then carry on. “It was floating around your head like an anemone.”
“You were smiling.”
“It looked pretty.”
She doesn’t say anything, and I pick up the hairdryer. I turn it on and start drying her hair. I run my fingers through it, lifting it at the roots and enjoying watching the strands blowing around her head, remembering how it floated under the water. It’s so dark and shiny, with that unusual purplish hue, and it feels like silk beneath my fingers. I can smell the strawberry conditioner she used beneath her dive cap. This girl makes my mouth water.
When I’m done, I turn off the hairdryer, then brush her hair again, smoothing down the locks so it hangs like a dark curtain.
She turns her head, although she doesn’t lift her gaze to mine. “Thank you.”
I lower the brush reluctantly. “You’re welcome.” I clear my throat. “I’ll be back in a second.”
I go out to the tumble dryer and open it. My hoodie is dry now, and I leave the other clothes tumbling, but take the hoodie back into her room. She’s sitting back against the pillows again, and I hold the hoodie out to her.
She looks at it, and her lips curve up as she takes it. She pulls it over her head and down her body, then leans back, tugging the sleeves over her hands and burying her nose in the front so she’s immersed in it. “It still smells of you,” she murmurs.
I sit beside her again. “Can I get you something to eat?”
“Maybe later. I’m really tired.”
“Yeah, me too.” With some surprise, I realize it’s true. I’m fairly fit, and rarely feel exhausted at the end of a dive, but I guess the emotional trauma of the day hasn’t helped.
“Joel…” She hesitates.
I tip my head to the side. “What?”
She’s pulled the front of the hoodie up so it covers her mouth and nose, but her green eyes suddenly fill with tears.
“Hey…” I frown and rest a hand on her arm. “It’s okay.”
She swallows hard. “Will you come and give me a hug?”
“Of course,” I reply, covering my surprise. I go around the bed and climb on the other side, on top of the covers. There’s a stack of pillows, and I sit up against them, surprised again as she turns onto her side and curls up next to me. I put my arm around her, and she snuggles right up to me.
I kiss the top of her head. “It’s okay.”
“I was so scared.”
“I know.”
“You saved my life.”
I sigh. “Honey…”
She shakes her head, so I don’t say anything more.
The rain hammers against the window, but in the room it’s quiet and warm, and it’s not long before we both doze off, safe and secure in each other’s arms.