9. Chapter 9 - Layrin
Chapter 9
“ L ay? Layrin?”
Groaning, I yanked the covers over my head, flinching at the growing pounding in my head. “Not now, Viv, I have a splitting headache.”
“I don’t know who Viv is, but I think I can help that headache.” At the mention of Viv’s name, I shot up. I was in my dorm, and Cin was standing next to me, biting her lip and clutching a green concoction in her hand.
As soon as our eyes connected, Cin came forward and kneeled at my bed, her voice growing hoarse as she spoke. “I'm so sorry, Lay. I left your side and got sidetracked with a fight, but then you took off. I couldn't find you, and I was so worried.”
I pressed the palms of my hands into my eyes, trying to stifle the pain throbbing behind them. What’s going on? Why do I feel so crappy?
“I’m sorry I made you worry. I didn't mean to.” My voice cracked, my mouth so dry it felt like I’d eaten sand.
Thinking back to the night before, the last thing I remembered was taking a sip of Luca’s wine, but that was it. One sip. There was no way I’d been drunk, but I couldn’t remember anything past that point.
“Here. It's an old family recipe.” Cin shoved that green drink into my hands, and my stomach churned at the smell.
I must’ve made a face because Cin laughed. “Just drink it. Hold your nose if you have to. You want to feel better, right?” Nodding, I did what she said. I would do anything to get rid of the pain pulsing in my head.
Cin reached for the empty glass and put it on my desk before the bed dipped, her face lined in concern. “Lay, I was so worried about you. You were my guest, making me the one responsible for you, and I failed you.” She looked down at her clenched hands, and I felt sorry for her.
“I’m a big girl. I can make my own decisions.” I closed my eyes, trying to remember more, but it was like a fog had settled in during that time. “I just don't know what happened. I only had one sip with your brother. It doesn't make sense that I can't remember.”
Cin’s face pinched before she put her hand on mine. “It's my fault because I took you there in the first place.” She swallowed loudly before adding in a softer voice, “How did you get home? Do you remember anything?”
I pinched my eyes hard, trying to move the fog clouding my mind, but it wouldn't budge. Taking a couple of deep breaths, I tried again and again, but nothing came. Fear bubbled up inside of me. What happened to me?
I got up and ran to the bathroom, holding myself over the toilet before I remembered the green drink and slammed my lips sealed. I needed to try to keep everything down. Moving over to the sink, I splashed water on my face, trying to calm down. The sooner I was calm, the better decisions I could make.
A thought hit me, I was in college, and I couldn't remember what happened. Did I….? Dread filled me as I lowered a shaking hand to feel between my thighs, praying I was wrong. I finally let out a long exhale. I didn’t feel anything wet, nor was there any soreness or pain. My mind went on overdrive, thinking about all the things I’d heard when others talked about being drugged and violated—loss of memory, the feeling of having had intercourse, wetness of semen around the vagina or anus, torn or ripped clothes, clothing out of place.
I furiously looked down and around my clothes, desperate to find any clues as to what had happened. My shoes were off, but other than that, my clothes were fine. I lifted my skirt. My underwear was in the right place, not shoved to the side or put on wrong.
Taking another deep breath, I looked in the mirror. I didn’t think I had been assaulted, but I did think I’d been drugged even though that didn't make sense either. Why would someone drug me but not rape me? Why would they bring me to my dorm? Lay me down on my bed and take off my shoes?
That was impossible.
Then did I make it home myself? I envisioned myself stumbling across campus, but even that felt too far-fetched.
A knock on my door sounded. “Lay? Are you okay?”
Cin’s voice sounded worried, but it also gave me an idea. Yanking the door open, I was met with her hesitant face. I blurted out, “You're good with computers and you are a legacy. Can you hack into the dorm security system to see how I got back to our room?”
She motioned toward her side of the room, expecting me to follow, and I did. “That was one of the first things I thought of.” She lifted the top of her laptop, where a video was already queued up, then pressed play.
We watched together as she sped through an hour's worth of tape in ten minutes. A few girls from the dorm left in party clothes, and some guy was met with a locked door when he tried to follow a woman in. There were a few food delivery people, but that was it. Nothing else.
“How?” Dread filled my bones, causing me to shiver.
“I don't know, Lay.” Cin’s low, soft tone told me she was trying to be respectful of what had happened to me, but I was more focused on the phantom that had put me back into my bed. “To erase you from the tape, it would mean that someone not only got to it live, but also had the tech and knowledge to tamper with the recording.”
Something she said had me remembering something else. She said it had to be caught live , and I had been sensing someone watching me at the most inopportune times. Was this connected, or was my imagination running wild?
No. Something had to have happened. I just didn’t know what, and someone was trying to cover it up.
“Do you want me to walk you to English?” She phrased it as a question, but her tone said this was non-negotiable. “I'm the opposite way, but it would make me feel like you're safe if I get you there and had Elio keep an eye on you.”
With a nod, I accepted her offer, but what I really wanted to do was get that nervous twitchy look out of her eyes. I didn't like to be vulnerable, didn't like to bring people into my business. I wanted all of this to go away, for her to stop looking at me like I was some wounded animal, reminding me that even if I didn't get assaulted, someone had drugged me.
Gripping the counter so hard my knuckles turned white, I admitted my vulnerability. “I was checking to see if I was assaulted.” I glanced at her through the mirror, and her eyes darkened, ready to go to battle. I quickly admitted, “I don’t think I was. None of the signs are present.”
“Do you want to go to the nurse… get a kit done? I'll go with you.” Her eyes lowered to the floor with her soft, hesitant question.
“No.” Her eyes snapped up to mine in confusion, but she didn't know that I had a time in my life when I was on the streets. Shit like this happened every single day—women getting hit, assaulted, or tricked into something they didn't want to do. No. I wasn't going to give this black, fogged-out memory of mine power over me. Even with my heart pounding and fear settling deep in my soul, I wasn’t going to give in.
I was going to move forward. This was not going to break me.
Moving around her, I left the bathroom in haste. “I need to get to English.”
“Layrin,” she called out, and I stopped. “I’m so sor—” I raised my hand and turned to face her.
“Did you drug me?” I spat, anger surging at the prospect of her doing this to me.
Her eyes widened, mouth parting in shock before she shut it down, stood up a little straighter, and responded with a hint of anger, “No. I would never do that to you.”
I stared at her unwavering gaze. Even with all my street smarts, all the instincts and warning bells that I’d had about this place, about her relatives, I didn't get that dangerous feeling from her. For some strange, weird reason, I felt like I could trust her despite my inkling that she was keeping something close to the chest. I always followed my gut.
“Which means you don't have anything to be sorry for.” One side of my mouth tipped up, trying to let her down easy since I’d come at her hard just a second ago. The headache that split open my head earlier was now just a dull sensation, all because of her magical cure.
“Lay…” Her eyes bored into mine as she took a step forward, looking like she was going to say something important.
Buzz. Buzz. Buzz.
We looked over at her phone that was vibrating on her desk. She took a few steps, looked at it, and clicked the side button to ignore the call before she looked up at me with a smile. “Looks like it's time we get you to class. Don’t want you to be late.”
She turned away to gather her things, which just made me curious as to who was calling her, but I realized she was right when I checked the time. I needed to get going now.