12. Chapter 12 - Layrin
Chapter 12
I t was Ravi. Ravi Ambros.
My thoughts were consumed by the man next to me, steering me into his fancy expensive car. Ravi’s hands were on my shoulder, warm and surprisingly soft. How many times had I dreamed about seeing the Ambros brothers again? The answer was a million. I had thought about it ever since they left, but year after year, the frequency of the thought was less and less. I had lost hope of ever seeing them again, and now that he was here, my tongue was tied.
His fingers squeezed on my shoulder. “Thank god you remembered the code. When we get in the car, we can talk, okay?”
All I could do was nod like an idiot. My mind switched gears, thinking of the questions I’d always wanted to ask. What have you been up to? What happened when you and your brothers left? Did you guys miss me? Like hell I was ever going to ask that last question, but it was the one I cared about the most.
When they left all those years ago, I took it pretty hard. I went through a reckless, rebellious stage—getting punished all the time by Miss Vaughn, starting fights with the other kids, and generally being a menace in order to forget the feeling of being abandoned.
It wasn't until the night I snuck into Miss Vaughn’s office and found my file with my necklace that my mindset changed. After reading that, I decided I wanted a better life, and the only way I could do that was to get away from the people who were bringing me down. That night, I let go of the anger that I felt toward the boys for abandoning me, and although I decided to carve a path for myself, by myself, that didn't stop me from having the tiniest speck of hope that I would see them again.
He opened the door for me, and I sat down, moving my backpack to my feet until I felt his presence hovering over me. I had straightened up to ask him what that was about when he reached over me, and a small gasp slipped from my lips.
His sudden close proximity surprised me, and I couldn’t ignore his mouth-watering scent. It was a clean wood-like smell, a mixture of amber and cedarwood, but there was a hint of sweetness that made me think of only him. Letting his scent fill me, I realized the sweetness came from a hint of orange. It was calming and invigorating at the same time. A click snapped me out of my trance, and as he pulled away, I realized he was buckling my seatbelt for me.
“Just wanted you to be safe.” He winked at me before lifting and closing the door.
For those few seconds I was alone, I chastised myself. Get a grip, Layrin! Stop acting like a bumbling fool. You’ve never let a boy befuddle you before, and you shouldn't start now. I glanced at him through the window, taking a beat for himself, and took a deep breath. You know nothing about why he wants to talk to you. Just play it cool.
I kept my face forward, playing with the triangular points of my necklace while he opened the driver’s door and sat down, pushing the button for the car to start. I almost rolled my eyes. With all the luxuries rich people had, making a car start by pushing a button always seemed like the most wasteful. How much harder was it to turn a key?
“These things are annoying.” He grumbled as he had to push the button again before the engine turned on. “You have to remember to put your foot on the brake, or else the fucking button won’t work.” He shrugged then turned toward me with one of his disarming boyish smiles that jumbled my thoughts. “But at Messores, you gotta keep up with the Jones', so…” He waved his hand over the car.
Looking at his smile reminded me of the past. I blurted out, “Where are Roux and Rion?”
He stiffened for a moment, his cheek getting tight despite his smile. “Oh, they’re at home. It’s not far from here…” His voice became a little quieter, more hesitant. “Will you come with me to our house?”
“Of course.” His smile grew painfully wide before he shifted the gear and away we went.
At first, it was quiet, both of us seeming to be lost in thought. I didn't want to come off as clingy or crazy, but having him right next to me had my nerves going wild. I wanted to rapid fire a million questions at him, but instead of doing that, I gripped my hands in my lap and looked out the window, watching the scenery pass us by.
I jerked when I felt something touch my hand and was bewildered to find Ravi’s hand reaching for mine. His fingers dug between my clenched red fingers, prying them apart, then he settled his hand in mine, giving me a slight squeeze and a crooked smile before turning back to the road. I just stared at him, stupefied.
“You looked like you were hurting yourself. If you need someone’s hand to clench, use mine. It's much tougher than it looks.”
My thoughtless question came out fast and unexpectedly. “Why?”
He glanced at me for a second, his hair falling into his face with the quick movement. I must’ve lost all my rational thought because I reached out and smoothed it back. His eyes closed for a second as his mouth parted, and for just a moment, I was in a daze, my hormones going wild. What would it be like to kiss those lips?
The sound of his inhale bounced around the car, waking me from my absurd thoughts, and I sat back down. “I’m… I’m sorry.” I faced forward, trying to control myself. “I didn't want it to impair your eyesight. The roads are windy.”
Forcing myself to turn away, I tried to yank my hand out of his, but he just held on tight and yanked me back to him. “Rin?”
Shaking my head, I kept my attention off him, feeling heat rise in my cheeks, and berated myself for my stupid impulses. We were adults now. I couldn't do the things I had done when we were kids. Those people were of the past, and the two sitting in this car might as well be strangers.
“Rin, talk to me. It’s just me, Rav.”
He made it sound so easy, so effortless, to go back. To let the past eleven years go and pick up right where we had left off, but that wasn't who I was anymore. I was now in survival mode, cautious and constantly guarding myself. I needed to be that person now, or I would get lost in the Ambros brothers, and when they disappeared again, I would be left in shatters, unable to put myself back together again.
I filled myself with those thoughts as I forcibly removed his hand from mine. His face fell, and my heart weakened for a second until I steeled my resolve. “Why did you want me to lie to Elio? Why didn't you want him to know that we know each other?” I braced myself for my next question, reminding myself that I needed to know the truth more than I needed to feel good. “Are you embarrassed by how you know me? Of where I come from?”
He jerked away from the wheel to face me, swerving the car just a bit. His lips were parted in disgust and brows pinched in confusion. “What are you talking about? Why would I ever be embarrassed by you?”
Letting out a long exhale in disbelief, I stared down at my lap. “I didn't think I needed to explain it, but to put it bluntly, I'm an orphan you left behind. Now, your status in life is much… different from mine.” I kept my voice even, attempting to appear unaffected by my words, but I was mad at myself for not being strong enough to bluntly admit I was a street urchin while he was a rich prince. “While I didn't know that you would be here, I wouldn't fault you three if you saw me and didn't say anything.” Closing my eyes, I smiled at him, trying my hardest not to show any cracks.
The car jerked to a stop, with only my seatbelt saving me from flying forward. “What the—”
“How could you say that?” His low, menacing tone was something I’d never dreamed I would hear from the carefree, lovable brother I used to know. The steering wheel creaked as his knuckles turned white. “How could you think we would ever—” His voice cracked, unable to finish the sentence.
I didn't think what I’d said was that bad. In fact, I expected to hear worse if anyone in school found out about my less-than-rich beginnings, but seeing him break down like this, I felt like it was my fault. Reaching out, I rubbed his back, talking like I would to a wounded animal. “Hey, it's okay. I told you that I wouldn't blame you. It’s not something to get so upset about.” His back tensed under my hand, so I quickly added, “I’m sorry, Rav. It's my fault. Please don’t be upset.”
His face slowly turned to me, and I did a double take. My mind couldn't connect with what I was seeing. This gorgeous man looked at me with water in his red-rimmed eyes, so close to having them spill over that my guilt doubled down. He attempted to give me a small smile, but it was quite pitiful. “I… I… I don’t ever want you to feel that way. That tears my heart apart.”
I winced, feeling like I’d kicked a puppy. I leaned over, rubbing his arm in hopes of making him feel marginally better. “Okay. Okay. I understand now. I won’t think that way.”
“Ever again?” His wide tear-filled eyes caught me, and I was willing to tell him anything to get him to stop.
“Yes. Yes. Never again.” I placed my hand over my heart like we did as kids. “We good?”
His whole face transformed in an instant. His sad, tear-filled eyes were wiped away, and mischief filled them instead. His wobbly lips turned up in a salacious smile, then he licked his lips, tipping his head back with laughter.
My whole face fell. I had been duped. That little cheating shit had fucking played on my emotions and the fact that I truly did care about him. He leaned forward, his nose running along my cheek as he whispered, “We’re good, Rin. We'll always be good.”
A chill ran down my spine, and my fingers tingled. For a second, I wanted to lean into him, to tease him back, to give him a little well-earned payback, but I caught myself. Instead, I swatted at him, giving him my best mad face. “Dick. You tricked me!”
His pearly whites were on display when his finger and thumb came into view. “Only a little.” His eyes darkened for a second. “It was better than having you say that ridiculous shit.” He leaned back into his chair and muttered to himself. The few words I caught were “only you.”
Before I could ask him about it, he blurted, “So what's the deal with your necklace?”
Boy, was he perceptive. I didn’t think I touched it that much. “Before I left, I snuck into Miss Vaugh’s safe and found my file. Other than some old torn-up documents about my birth, it had this necklace.” I didn't tell him that I had felt an instant connection to this piece, like it meant something more than what it was. I just knew I couldn't let her keep what was mine.
He nodded, not saying much in response until he pointed up a dirt road with a large iron gate. “This is our place.” I looked around as the gate opened. We were coming up to a large dark, rectangular house.
As soon as he parked, Ravi reached over to unlock the door then pushed it open. His excitement burst forward as he said, “Go ahead. Take a look.”
I couldn’t take my eyes off the house that seemed both intimidating and homey with the backdrop of the pine trees. The combination of textured black metal with the smooth chocolate-colored accents gave the house a masculine feel. It wasn't hard to envision three men living in a place like this.
I walked a few steps, tipping my head back since the house was as high as an airplane hangar. We’d parked in front of a small garage that was off to the side. A few bushes and trees were in the front, covering the entrance. The whole place looked fearsome and strong, but deep down, my heart kept telling me this house screamed safety. I could finally be safe in a place like this.
The slamming of a car door jolted me out of my thoughts. Ravi stood there, holding my backpack. “You forgot this.” He handed it over. “Like the house?”
“Very posh,” I answered, hoping he caught my teasing tone.
He quickly responded, “We can always tear it down and rebuild whatever you want. We could have a quaint cabin built in a few days.” His serious tone and sincere eyes had me worried for a second.
“Yeah. Right.” I laughed, patting him on the shoulders. “That's crazy. This place is beautiful.”
He shrugged. “It's just a house.”
Whirling around, I stared at him. What could he possibly mean by that? Would he really be willing to tear this house down just because of what I said? That didn't make sense. He must’ve sensed something because he maneuvered around me and opened the door.
Turning around with his arms wide open, he motioned me forward. “Come into the Ambros sanctuary away from campus, peeping eyes, and annoying gnats.” I didn't know what he was talking about, but I nodded, just glad to get to hang out with him.
“So when are you going to explain the whole Elio thing to me?”
He winced, probably wishing I’d forgotten about that. “How about after I get you a drink? Diet Coke, right?” Smiling, I nodded. “Sit. Sit.” He motioned to the plushy brown L-shaped couch in the front room that had a large multi-floor-length window that looked out the front.
For an all-guys college house, it was surprisingly clean. No empty cups or half-drunk beer. Not a single piece of clothing was left out or draped over something. Gazing around the room, I noticed that there was nothing on the walls and no pictures on the tables. Everything was in its place, and they had all the right furniture. A couch, a coffee table, a lamp in the corner. A coat rack with no coats. Along the wall was a bookshelf with no books. It was odd, the void of anything personal. Almost like this space was waiting for something, longing for someone to fill it.
Footsteps came from behind me, but when I turned to ask Ravi what was up with this place, it was someone else. While he was holding my drink and had the same face, hair, clothes, and a similar smile to Ravi, he was not Ravi.
He handed me my drink with a sweet, wide smile, but something felt off. I stared at him and took the cup, and although I meant to say thank you, what came out was “Rion.” It was supposed to be a question, but I knew in my bones it was him. While the three of them were identical triplets, Rion’s eyes held a sharper glint, and his aura was that of a smooth black leopard.
His fake smile fell, settling into a thin-lined smirk, then he leaned forward to rest his forehead on mine. He stared into my eyes like he was watching my soul squirm. “Layrin.”
My reaction to these men was immediate and all consuming. My brain had been doing most of the decision-making for a while, but around these men, my body started to speak. Tingles ran down my arms and settled in my fingertips, begging me to touch him, to feel that he was real. Clutching my drink, I held myself at bay, only taking in his crisp, clean scent. That was enough to know he was real.
Everything about this man had a cold edge. While Ravi was the exuberant puppy who would bounce around, wanting to play all day, Rion was the cat in the window seat, watching, waiting, and planning. I could see his mind working behind those hazel eyes, fully aware, as they shifted into a blue hue.
“Hhhey.” I could slap myself for my voice sounding all shaky and out of breath.
The look on his face stayed the same, but his eyes crinkled a little at the corners. He’s amused. “You still know which of us is which.” His statement sounded more surprised than anything.
Leaning back, I took a swig of my soda before setting it down and crossing my arms. “You act like it's hard. I’ve always been able to tell you three apart.”
He sat down on the coffee table across from me as he mumbled, “Most people don’t.”
“Then they're not looking hard enough.” The words flew out of my mouth, and I winced. I didn't mean to sound like an asshole that knew everything about them because I didn't. I only had to look at them to see how these boys had turned into men.
I was about to apologize when I collided with Rion’s intense gaze. He lifted his hand and cupped my cheek. My tongue grew heavy, my body and mind captured by him. “You're right, and they never do. No one really looks at us but you, Rin.” The use of my nickname had me wanting to sigh into his hand, rubbing my face into it like a cat looking for its owner's touch.
That idea snapped me out of my daze, and I shot up, not wanting to be this close to Rion when I was beginning to experience that familiar feeling of desire and companionship. Nope. I was not falling into that hole again. That only led to bigger heartbreak. I laughed as I scratched my head. “So… where’s Roux? I expected the angry, grumpy one to be my equalizer, per usual.” My nervous laugh couldn't hide anything when Rion was just staring at me.
Somewhere, a door slammed shut, and I looked in the direction of the sound just as Roux walked out. My mouth dried up when his sweat-glistening torso came into view. His toned abs caught my attention first. Every groove and cut was carved to perfection. Following up his body, his pecs popped out, causing that tingle in my fingers to happen again, but this time they wanted to trace the lines of his body. To top it all off, he was wearing baggy gray sweats that hung so low a slight tug would put everything fully on display.
Someone cleared their throat, and I looked away from Roux’s body, my whole face flushed from being caught ogling him. When my eyes found his honey brown ones, they widened before narrowing into the glare I had expected. What I didn't expect to see was him licking his lips as he looked up and down my body.
Ravi’s chipper voice broke the silence. “Well, now that we’re all here, I guess we should talk.”
I took a deep breath, forcing my body to calm the fuck down, and nodded. We did need to talk, and I was going to get answers this time.