Chapter 7 #3
“For years I spent my life in hiding. On the run. To survive that I had to shut down and become paranoid basically about every little thing. I couldn’t let anyone close to me—either in case they were a plant from my enemies, or in case they got hurt because of me.
And after living my life like that for so long, it’s…
strange and unsettling to be vulnerable in any way now, to even want anything, to be able to want anything or anyone. ”
He nodded along, leaning back on his hands, seeming comfortable and not at all put off by my confessions.
“And I’m… damaged. So when you took an interest, I guess…” I trailed off, trying to find the right words.
“You didn’t think it could be real?”
“Yeah. Pretty much.”
“That makes a shitload of sense with how you blew me off. I get it.”
“You do?”
“Yeah, love, I really do. And, if it helps, I’m damaged, too. And it’s okay to own it—loud and clear for everyone to fucking hear.”
I laughed. “Is that right?”
“Oh, fuck, yeah. You bet.” He rubbed my arm.
“And, for the record, I think you’re fucking amazing.
With all of that burdening you and you still try, you still push forward.
It might feel like in small ways, but it’s actually not.
Joining Crossborn with us was a major step.
You even made a friend in Nyx—a really good friend to have on your side.
He fits perfectly for you with what you need in somebody from that perspective.
” He reached for one of the goblets with the purple liquid filling them and handed it to me, then took the remaining one for himself.
“And now you’re here with me, taking this chance with a volatile fucker like me.
Now that’s some real courage and a giant leap out of your comfort zone and all those walls that those bastards made you build around yourself. ”
He tipped his goblet toward me. “Cheers to that, to new beginnings, yeah?”
I grinned and clicked my glass against his.
That survival state kicked in and I hesitated on taking a sip, watching him drink half of his down in one shot.
He smiled, getting it. “It’s blackberry juice with a frozen edge. No alcohol. Not spelled for an extra kick. I didn’t want that being a part of this—for either of us.”
I took a sip.
The moment the liquid hit my tongue, that sip became several gulps. It was so good.
“This is mind-blowing.”
“I know, huh? Once they get down to the last drop, they refill on their own. I had that Dark Fae bastard finagle that into the glasses.”
“Bottomless Veil.”
“What’s that?”
“It’s the name of the spell that he used.” As I put my glass back down on the little table, I asked him, “How did you get a Dark Fae to do you a favor? My kind—I mean, part of my kind—isn’t exactly known for offering their power to others.”
“It’s a Graverun thing,” he answered with a wince. “He challenged me to a fight the other night and if he won he’d get a couple of vials of my vampire blood. If I won, I got a couple of free spells out of him.”
“What? You offered your blood?”
He lifted a shoulder. “I knew I’d win.”
“How?”
He took a swig from his glass. “Magic-wielders who step into the fight circle with me all think they’ve got it in the bag because I can’t wield magic.
They severely underestimate non-magical beings.
Every damn time. It’s like a fucking sickness of arrogance that never ends. ” He grinned. “Works out well for me.”
I shook my head in dismay. “Wow.”
“Still think you made the right choice agreeing to come here to me tonight? Even with all that I just put out there?”
“Yes.” I leaned in and pressed a kiss to his cheek, lingering for a moment and breathing in his intoxicating minty scent.
That was far from being the only intoxicating thing about Lazriel Thaine.
And now the bravado had been dropped on both our ends, I’d actually been able to see that in all its undeniable glory.
The real him. Not the fighter, not the flirt—the man beneath it all.
The one who had made space for me and crafted this entire world in shadows and velvet.
“Thank you for doing all of this. Going to this effort for me… it means a lot. You even figured out that purple is my favorite color—it’s everywhere. Even with the drinks.”
He blinked, like he couldn’t believe I was thanking him. “You should expect things like this, you know? The fact that you’re so stunned by it makes me sad.”
I smiled at his sweet words and reached out and fingered his hoodie. “Forest-green.”
“Yeah.”
“No. That’s your favorite color.”
He frowned. “Yeah. It is. You even got the exact shade right. How?”
“I have my ways.” I rose to my feet and held out my hand. “Dance with me?”
He clasped my hand and pushed to his feet, and then he startled me as he wrapped his arm around my waist, then spun me, and caught me with his hand again.
A giggle escaped me and I moved with him, spinning around, before he then grasped my hips and yanked me against him.
The sudden closeness made my breath hitch.
His eyes locked on mine, intense and warm as the sensual beat pulsed around us.
I lifted my hands on instinct, fingers curling around his biceps, the flex of muscle under my palms grounding me.
His hips rolled in a slow, deliberate rhythm, and mine began to follow, molded by his grip.
I wasn’t flinching or panicking.
I didn’t have the urge to pull away, or to run.
I was here in the moment.
Just him and I.
“Where does the lavender smell come from?”
I cocked an eyebrow. “Are you wolf-scenting me right now?”
“Oh, definitely.”
I chuckled. “It’s my body wash and my shampoo.”
“Ah, two things. Got it. It suits you.” He reached up and fingered one of my dangling spiral purple earrings. “These are so unique. Where did you get them?”
“I made them.”
“Made them?”
“Yeah. In my free time I make jewelry.”
“That’s really cool.”
“I can make you a special necklace or something if you like.”
“I’ve already got one.”
One? So cute.
One of his hands left my hips and then he was reaching inside his tank and pulling out a leather chain with what looked like a wolf claw hanging off it. “It’s from my mom. It’s kind of like a symbol of our connection and a simpler time when she ran her wolf pack like a boss.”
“That’s so lovely.”
He’d hid that well. He never wore it on the outside of his clothes.
“You and your mom are close then, I take it?”
“We are, yeah. We talk all the time. I see her once a month for a standing catch up dinner. She’s a recluse now and spends her days tending to the massive garden around her cottage in the middle of nowhere.
” He blinked, then hid the pendant away again.
“But I really don’t want to talk about my mom right now. ”
He spun me again, making me squeal from the suddenness of it.
In a blur of vampire speed, he was there right in front of me and grasping my hip again, holding me to him and steadying me in the same move.
His warm breath fanned over the side of my neck as he leaned in and whispered, “You coming to me tonight means everything to me, Velra.”
“I love everything about it.” I lifted my head and brushed my lips over his.
He tentatively responded. “Your pulse is racing.”
“In a good way.”
“You’re sure?” he breathed against my lips.
I nodded. “All for you.”
A groan came from him, and then he fisted my hair with one hand and basically dragged me right to him, our mouths clashing.
He angled me with his hand in my hair as he slid his tongue along mine, and we moved together with the sensual beat. It was slow and easy, but so insanely erotic that a rush of pleasure rolled through me, making me tremble in his arms.
The next thing I knew, I was shoving at his hoodie.
He got the message and shucked it off, tossing it across the space.
And then my hands were touching him skin-to-skin.
He sucked in a sharp breath.
“Too cold?” I asked, worriedly.
“Perfectly cold. I’m burning the fuck up right now.”
His voice was strained, ragged, and it was so hot, knowing that I was causing this reaction in him.
My fingers trailed across the taut lines of his shoulders, his arms, down over his tank, tracing everything, every scar, every ridge of hard-earned strength. His muscles twitched under my touch, like even the lightest graze was too much.
He broke our kiss, then dragged his teeth along my throat in a deliciously animalistic way that had my hand shooting out and grabbing at his belt.
His tongue followed the path of the light scrapes he’d made and I threw my head back in rapture at the sensations colliding.
“Hell,” I choked.
“Hell… Heaven… all the same with me, Wraithqueen.”
A guttural growl escaped him and then with a blur of speed, he had me slammed up against a nearby tree at the edge of our hidden hollow—fast, fluid, possessive.
And then he was licking and nipping at my lips, my jaw, my throat, across the tops of my breasts, and rolling his hips.
I fisted his hair and pulled hard, gasping as I arched into him.
He groaned in response, pressing closer, and I ground back against him, feeling his very hard cock rubbing harder and rougher against my pussy, sending sparks of bliss through me radiating out everywhere, even as he undid me with that glorious mouth of his at the same time.
“Lazriel,” I rasped.
One hand left my hip and slid up my thigh—scraping up, actually, the sharp searing sensation sending my mind and body into overdrive with all the stimulation.
I jolted as his fingers dipped under my dress and brushed the edge of my panties.
His gaze shot to mine, hot intensity blazing forth.
“Yes,” I breathed, responding to the question in his eyes.
Two fingers slipped underneath my panties, a tremble rolling through me as he dragged them through my folds—a sensation I hadn’t felt in years.
I threw my hands out and dug my fingers into his chest over his tank.
“You’re soaked. Drenching my fingers already.”
He was all over me then, rubbing, flicking, pinching, driving me crazy.
I felt him slicking his fingers with my own wetness, then he pushed them into me, one inch at a time, going deeper, opening me up, filling me.
My hips moved on instinct, greedy for more. I rocked against him, gasping as the pressure and stretch made me wince.
He caught it instantly. His thumb stroked my clit, coaxing me back into pleasure, guiding me with expert rhythm as he began to slide his thick fingers in and out.
In moments, I was slamming my hips down onto them, chasing every shock of bliss he gave me.
“Ungh… yeah, just like that. Ride my fingers, love. The way you move… so fucking sexy.” He twisted and angled deeper, hitting a spot that made my whole body seize with raw pleasure.
“There it is…” He zoned in on there, his fingers stabbing and curling and fucking twisting until I couldn’t see straight. “Fuck, yeah, let it go.”
His mouth was at my ear now, panting with mine. “Come all fucking over me. I want this beautiful cunt soaking me, fucking marking me.”
A growl. A promise.
“Ungh… can’t wait to taste you.”
“Yes! Hell!” I cried, as it all collided and I shattered, ecstasy tearing through me, my whole body shuddering against him.
He pulled his fingers free and had me jolting as he rubbed his hand all over my pussy with his vampire speed, taking me higher and higher until I was shrieking out into the night and digging my nails into his tank, holding on for dear life as he took me to heights of pleasure I’d never even imagined possible.
When he finally eased it away, it was drenched, and I watched as he held my gaze and licked it all up, every single drop, snarling, and his eyes flaming.
I sank into him and he wrapped an arm around me, while he stroked my hair with his other hand.
I was shuddering against him, panting, fighting to come down from the intensity, when I heard a grunt from him.
I looked up to see my shadow magic was live!
Worse than that, tendrils were tightening around his throat, then traveling down to his arms and wrapping around them too, effectively pinning him there.
I jerked back gasping. “Hold on… I… no, no, no.”
My hands were shaking, I was in such a state that I couldn’t focus.
I couldn’t get control.
And that failure was hurting him.
I pressed my hand to his right bicep in an attempt to cast the shadows away, but spikes of frost shot out instead, driving into his flesh and making him hiss.
“It’s… okay,” he rasped against the shadows. “Just… take a beat.”
“I… I can’t. I… no.”
I thrust my palms up and called my Dark Fae power which was more inherent to me.
Purple flames erupted and I uttered an incantation and thrust the flames up and out.
They rained down over Lazriel without hurting him, and obliterated the shadows upon contact.
I staggered back, the strain of forcing that sudden burst from me unbelievably straining.
Lazriel sucked in several breaths, then pushed off the tree, intending to come to me.
He yanked out the icicles buried in his skin, then tossed them aside, beginning to heal right away.
“Everything is fine, all right?” he told me.
He reached out to me, but I jolted back. “No. I hurt you.”
“It’s not a big deal.”
“I ruined it. I thought I was ready.”
“You were. You are. You just came on my fingers so beautifully. You took your pleasure so powerfully.”
“And look what it cost you.”
“Velra, I’m fine.”
I shook my head vehemently. “No. It’s messed up. I’m messed up. I can’t… I can’t do this.”
“Don’t,” he growled. “Don’t do this. Don’t pull away again.”
“I’m dangerous. Look at everything you did for me tonight and I ruined it.”
“You didn’t. Nothing is ruined.”
“That wasn’t even actual sex. Can you imagine the damage I could do if I lose control then? And I will. Look at my track record. Both interactions with you and I have.”
“Last time was different. This is your first time going to a sexual place and experiencing those sensations in years. Something was bound to be triggered.”
I couldn’t stop shaking my head.
He stepped toward me, but I stepped back.
His voice was harsh and desperate, as he told me, “Don’t do this to us.”
“You can’t see it? There can’t be an us. Look at this! Come on, Lazriel. I’m a fucking menace. I’m not normal. And I thought I could be. I thought coming here tonight… urgh… it was foolish. You deserve better.”
He moved to speak, but I couldn’t hear it.
I couldn’t hear him try to make it okay—because it really wasn’t.
I thrust my purple power at the magical wall, tearing a hole through it.
Then I burst out and teleported away.
I couldn’t believe I’d thought I could do this.
I was a fucking fool, through and through.