Chapter 11
~Lazriel~
Fucking shit.
I startled awake and opened my eyes, only to squeeze them shut again in the very next second as I scented him.
All over the place.
His home.
His bedroom.
That’s where I was.
In the bed of Sylas fucking Morgrave.
His scent wasn’t just all around the room, it was on me. All over me.
“That’s right, hot little wolf, melt for me.”
It wasn’t just a memory, I could feel his words rolling through me even now.
“Argh. You’re driving me fucking crazy. You fucking cocksucker.”
I grimaced. I’d been so far gone.
“No. Don’t… don’t stop.”
From start to finish, last night had been a mind-fuck of epic proportions.
My control had been tested in so many ways—from Velra, to those purist vamps, then to him. And I’d finally fucking snapped.
Nah, not just snapped—I’d unleashed a whole lot.
And he’d been there with me through it.
He’d made it possible for me to do so.
He’d even guided me every step of the way.
Of course, while being a dirty-mouthed bastard with one hell of a wicked tongue—in more ways than one.
I clutched at the sheets that I felt wrapped around me.
Last night could have gone a whole other way.
After Velra had taken off like that and run not just from me but any possibility of us, I’d wanted to rage like a beast. And those vamps had offered themselves up on a silver platter.
But Sylas stepping in like that… he hadn’t just pulled me back from the edge of something I would never have been able to recover from, he’d… he’d spun my world on its axis.
Last night with him hadn’t been solace or some sort of rebound thing… it had been a fucking revelation.
Something in me felt lighter.
Nah, more than that.
There was so much relief.
Pity it was mixed in with so much regret concerning Velra.
When she walked away, she walked away for months.
She’d done it to me before.
This time, just the thought of it had been too fucking hard to bear, though, because we’d actually connected deeply in the way I’d hoped for all this time. And only then had she ripped it all away.
When I’d been in it.
When I’d let her back in.
When she’d let me in finally.
I’d never had somebody get inside my head, my very being, like both her and Sylas did.
But with Velra shut down, there was no opening there, no way in now.
I’d given it so much in The Fade.
I’d thought it was the beginning of something.
Until she’d turned it into the end.
I couldn’t do this back and forth. It had me walking a razor’s edge.
It made me dangerous.
Too fucking dangerous both for me and everyone around me.
Hell, for her, too.
Because if I pushed on down that road, it could quite easily spark obsession in me.
Depraved, primal, and unrelenting obsession.
The kind that could burn everything to ashes.
And that was—
“Are you actually going to open your eyes?”
I jolted.
And then my eyes did open involuntarily from the surprise of his voice.
His kind of hoarse, sleep-infused voice.
I looked to see him to my right, not touching me, and over on his side, turned toward me with his elbow propping his head up on his pillow
Watching me.
“Have you seriously been watching me sleep?”
“No. I’ve been watching you stress out as soon as you woke up. Worrying your lip between your teeth, clutching at the sheets, grimacing.”
When I didn’t say anything, and scrubbed my hand over my face with a heavy sigh, he reached out and gently stroked my arm.
“It doesn’t need to be one or the other, you know?
The three of us—or perhaps even the four of us, actually—can coexist together in a hot as fuck unit, functional enough to work. ”
I eyed him. “What? No, that’s not—she ran away when it was just me. Three of us—no, four? What four? Please tell me you’re not talking about the fucking Immortal.”
“Oh, I most definitely am.”
“Nah, that’s over and done with. Actually, it never started with them.”
“He came to me the other day to ask about you in relation to her.”
I shoved up into a sitting position. “What?”
“He knows there’s something between you, and he was concerned you were dangerous for her. Well, that was his surface reason.” He gave me a pointed look. “His repressed reason, the only one he could allow himself to admit to.”
“He was jealous?”
“I’d say more upset than merely jealous.”
“Huh. And you?”
“You know already that I’m interested in her.”
“The note gave you away.”
“I’m aware.”
“You wanted it to,” I realized.
“I can help you with her.” He lifted a shoulder. “If you want.”
“I’m not gonna launch some campaign to manipulate her into being with me—or us.”
“That’s not what I’m suggesting. It’s just clear that your approach when she pulls away isn’t the optimal one.
I’m aware of how long it took for you to finagle past her first withdrawal from you.
After what I witnessed last night, it’s safe to say that you don’t want things to play out the same way again. ”
“How can you help? Dirty-talk her into not being afraid of herself and hurting those she draws close to?”
He chuckled. “You know, you don’t get enough credit for your biting humor.”
“Was that a wolf and vampire dig all at once?”
“A little.”
“Cocksucker.”
“Don’t tempt me.” He snatched the covers and looked underneath. And then he frowned. “Why are you naked? I told you to keep my cum on you. The pants were helping with that, seeing as though you apparently don’t go the underwear route.”
“It’s still there. I can feel it. And I can’t help it…
with the pants, I mean. If I go to sleep wearing clothes, I pull them off in the middle of the night without realizing it.
It’s my wolf-vamp hybrid body—one moment I’m blistering hot, the next I’m freezing cold.
And at night I can’t regulate it at all, so stripping like that has become a subconscious thing I do.
Mostly, I just sleep naked to begin with. ”
“That sounds incredibly uncomfortable.”
“I’ve learned to live with it. It’s not life or death.”
“That’s not really the yardstick you should judge something by when deciding whether to simply accept it.” He shifted closer to me. “Some of the work I do… it could assist with this sort of issue. I can look into it. I’d need a sample of your blood, though.”
“That would be… thank you. That’s a really considerate offer.”
“That’s me.”
I eyed him.
“Well, once you get to know me.”
“Speaking of issues with our makeup, what was going on with you last night? Having to call Kai Hunter in? Is something up with you?”
“I’m having issues with my magic. It’s something I’m looking into.”
“What kind of issues?”
He tensed, then pushed up into a sitting position. “Actually, it’s something our delectable Wraithqueen and Dark Beauty might be able to help me with. Another reason why I pursued her. Barely.” He gave me a look. “Because I was trying not to upset you or trigger your territorial instincts.”
“Do what you need to there. Velra feeling useful could actually help her a lot. Sometimes all she sees is her damage, but she’s so much more than that.” I sighed. “Maybe you can help her to see otherwise, because I sure as fuck can’t, apparently.”
“It’s more complicated than that. You did well. Really well. And there’s no way she can’t know that.”
A heavy silence fell between us as I let his words roll over me and actually acknowledge the truth to them.
And then he announced, “You should talk with Cassius.”
I jolted. “Me? The worst person possible, who he may or may not be pissed at for pursuing the woman he rejected like the little bitch-ass former angel that he is now?”
“Well, I wouldn’t approach him with that attitude.”
“Sylas, I’m serious.”
“As am I. He’s Soul Branded to her.”
“Don’t fucking remind me,” I gritted out. I hated hearing about that shit.
“Hear me out. They are connected. Not much is known about the nature of that sort of bond as it’s hidden from those on the mortal plane.
However, Cassius came to me to ask about you.
Why and how? He must have felt a shift in her.
If my theory is correct then he may be able to register a great deal more, including when she is on the verge of losing control of her abilities—and voila there is now a safeguard for her, for the very thing that keeps her afraid of getting too close, the very thing that had her running from you when she wanted anything but. ”
I stilled. “Fuck me.”
“With pleasure.”
I rolled my eyes at him. “Can you not go more than a couple of minutes without making some filthy comment?”
“Not when you’re lying naked in my bed and I already spent all night keeping physical distance between us because I was concerned you’d be unsettled if you woke up with me wrapped around you.”
“I… I wouldn’t have been… unsettled.”
He cocked an eyebrow. “Really?”
“Oh, shit. You look far too pleased with yourself.”
“I am, babe. But I’m also pleased for you. What you did last night, what we did together, what you allowed to happen, it was—”
“A fucking revelation?”
His eyes shone. “Yes. Definitely.” He shifted closer, regarding me curiously. “How do you feel in the light of day? Beyond not being unsettled at the prospect of waking up with me close to you?”
“Relief.”
He nodded, getting it so well, the understanding in his eyes saying it all.
“Unwound… if that makes sense.”
“It does.”
I shoved my hand through my hair. “Last night was a hell of a mind-fuck with both you and Velra.” I eyed him as he watched me curiously and in a restrained way—especially for him. “Thank you… for intervening with those vamps and for… for turning the night around for me… and… helping me… let go.”
Ah, shit. I was struggling to get my words out. The vulnerability in it… I didn’t like it.
But it needed to be said.
And, honestly, after what he’d done for me, he deserved to hear it.
“You don’t need to thank me. It was my pleasure as much as yours.” He smiled kindly. “And not just the sexual aspect—for the record.”
I reached out and grasped his hand.
His eyes shone as he squeezed it back.