Chapter 12
~Velra~
God, the way he looked at me.
I’d never get used to it.
His gaze raked over me back in my black leather corset top with the faux silver chains and my leather pants, my ombre hair all wild from the whipping wind outside in this area.
Last night was still so fresh on my mind. Hell, I could still feel him on me, touching me, kissing me, and—stop!
“What are you doing here?”
I blinked, then focused up.
“You weren’t in your dorm and I was concerned after…
after what happened in The Fade. So I tracked you and it led me to a spot a half-acre from the main building.
And it just stopped there. So I recreated the circumstances and saw that fight you had with those purist sickos.
I couldn’t pick up your scent again because it was blocked—by Sylas. So I tracked him here.”
“Blocked by him?”
I nodded. “He’d cloaked it. Cloaked you.”
I looked him over. He was in his same outfit as last night. No bloodstains, no rips—all of which I’d seen on him when I’d recreated that fight with a little illusionary Dark Fae magic. He seemed fine. Well, even.
“You’re okay,” I breathed with a whole lot of relief.
“I am. Thanks, though, for checking on me.” He frowned. “Why were you outside my dorm room?”
“I went by to apologize. For hurting you by taking off like that. And—”
“That’s incredibly sweet,” Sylas’ voice sounded, and I looked through the gap between Lazriel and the door to see Sylas walking out of a room and heading over to us, wrapped in just a robe—a super cozy looking one, actually.
It was… odd, but in a good way, seeing him dressed down like this and relaxed.
It kind of helped to take the edge off his usual formidable presence.
“You took care of him,” I spoke. “When I recreated the events of last night where you intervened, I wasn’t sure that was what you would do. Especially with the animosity I witnessed between you, how you’d been bothering him.”
“He’s well. Unharmed. Mentally and emotionally well too. I promise you.”
He came up on Lazriel’s left side and leaned against him, the new intimacy between them clear, Lazriel tensing up briefly, before relaxing more into it.
And I smiled. “Good. This is really good.”
“It is?” Lazriel asked, looking confused as hell.
“You found comfort. And you finally made it past that barrier, too.”
He started. “You knew? About me liking—”
“Yeah.”
“What? Why didn’t you say anything?”
“I figured you’d mention it when you were ready.
It’s not exactly something for me to bring up.
As for how I know, when Kai was up at the Guardian Compound a few months ago watching Nyx give his side of mine and his presentation on the Crossborn Refuge System, you reacted…
strongly… to him. Afterward, I overheard Nyx warning you that Kai was not the way to go in order to explore that. ”
Sylas choked. “Fuck, no. Absolutely not. Kai dominates and decimates his sexual partners. Not the ideal way to go for a—”
“A fresh one?” Lazriel bit at him.
Sylas winced. “That was his terminology, not mine. I’ve since told him to stop with that.”
“Well… good. Thanks,” Lazriel managed.
Holy hell, this was great news. For Lazriel, definitely. But also for our… situation. He’d found somebody to give him comfort and what he needed sexually, somebody to care for—and he really had so much care to give.
It took some major weight off me, and what I’d tried to go to him in his dorm room to convey.
But before that, there was another matter to attend to.
With the surprise of me showing up here, Lazriel hadn’t even sensed it.
So I stepped back and gestured to the unconscious vampire on the ground a few feet away. “I wasn’t the only one tracking you.” I eyed Sylas. “You’re not cloaking yourself, only Lazriel.”
“The ward around this house is impenetrable.”
“Then how did Lazriel open the door?”
“I allowed it just before he shoved me into my bedroom.”
“In case it was the Guardian Movement coming to arrest you for violating the terms of your punishment?”
He grinned. “My, my, have you been stalking me, Dark Beauty?”
“Researching. Especially after you made your interest in my power known. That’s not something I can just overlook.
” Not with my history. I went on, “I’ve contacted Nyx and Ariana will reach out to her family and have these vampires who tracked you here arrested without it impacting you, Sylas.
I pretended it was just me coming to this house, that I left campus to follow your magical signature after I became intrigued with your power—and after having a freakout and needing a breather from the busy campus.
So long as the two of you leave here within the next half hour, that falsity will stand.
And you need to get back anyway and stay on campus until this whole thing with the fight last night dies down. ”
“Hold on,” Lazriel said. “You said vampires? Plural.” He gestured at the fallen vampire. “Not just this guy?”
“There were two more deeper in the woods who were watching, scouting the area. I knocked them out with a blast of magic. I used my shadow magic so they didn’t see me coming.
They must be retaliation for the fight with Derek—most likely those older vampires he brought along with him.
They were connected to these. We’re talking two-hundred-year-old vampires.
” I looked at Sylas. “Now you intervened and you’re connected to Lazriel, they tried to use you to get to him.
So, yeah, stay on campus, for both your sakes.
And no vigilante retribution—these guys are now on the Guardian Movement’s radar, so if you pursue this they’ll know of your involvement.
You need to do a scent-wipe right before you leave here, so when they’re interrogated, them claiming the two of you were actually here will read as false.
All the Guardian Movement will find out is that the two of you were involved in that fight—but you were set upon, the victims, so you’ll be fine. ”
Sylas nodded along, looking impressed, while also deeply concerned about the overall situation at hand.
And Lazriel stared at me, mouth agape. “You did all of that for us?”
“You’re my friend. I care about you.”
“I just didn’t expect this after last night.”
“I’m sorry how that ended. But it did need to end. I’m clearly not ready after all.” I stepped up to him. “But I also don’t want to regress majorly. I… can we further our friendship? Still be around each other—a lot? Spend time, have fun? That sort of thing?”
“Just friends?” he said, like he was trying it out on his tongue.
“Not just friends. I don’t make friends easily and neither do you, so it’s actually a big deal, something to be cherished.
I like being around you, Lazriel. But… the sexual aspect, and the pressure of a relationship…
it’s too much for right now.” I reached into the back pocket of my pants and pulled out the bracelet I’d spent the last few hours making for him. “Here.”
“What’s this?” he asked, taking it tentatively.
“I made it for you.”
“Made it for me? Why?”
“Kind of like a symbol that I’m here from that friendship perspective. That I won’t run or leave you hanging. So long as we can keep it to that, I know it will be okay. It’s what’s best right now.” I swallowed hard. “I mean, if you can accept that.”
I watched him draw in a steadying breath.
And then his eyes shone at me as he slipped the bracelet on his left wrist, then told me with a clear of his throat, “Yeah, of course I can accept it.”
Relief flooded me, the knots in my stomach finally loosening.
But then Sylas cut in, “Is that what you truly want, Velra? To be relegated to friends? There is clearly more than that between you.”
“It’s the way it has to be. At least for now.” I looked between them both. “So, I’ll see you around campus, then? Not just in classes?”
“I’ll text you to make plans,” Lazriel assured me.
“Perfect.”
He chuckled at my use of that word. It had become one of our things.
“All right.” I went to turn on my heel, to head back.
“Wait,” Lazriel called.
I stilled and arched an eyebrow.
And then he was there throwing his arms around me, wrapping me up tightly in him, in all that warmth and his heady minty scent.
Just the feel of him right up against me, the way he held me, threatened to undo my just friends thing right off the bat.
But he needed me to keep to it.
For his own safety.
And, let’s face it, with how I was, his sanity too.
I didn’t want to hurt him.
And while the idea of trying again with him, like we had in The Fade did appeal to me immensely, I couldn’t guarantee that it wouldn’t end the same way—with me freaking out and running from him.
I wouldn’t keep doing that to him.
He’d been such a sweetheart to me.
He deserved so much better.
I couldn’t shut it down entirely, though, and I clutched him back tightly.
As I did, I caught Sylas’ eye.
He gave me an understanding smile.
One that didn’t reach his gaze.
There was something else there swimming in those slate-gray pools instead.
Calculation. Determination.
He was planning something.
To fix this current state of things.
To fix me.
As if that was possible.
There was no fixing what I’d become.
Some damage just couldn’t be overcome.
All I could do was live within it the best I could, even though I could never be whole.
At least this was something.
I wasn’t regressing.
And I wasn’t just surviving either—I’d found a middle ground.
Still, I sank into Lazriel, breathing him in.
Just a few more moments, and then I’d head out.