Chapter 21 Lazriel
~Lazriel~
Shit, it was so cozy.
This warmth all over me.
A familiar lavender scent infusing me.
And the whisper of something else… blackcurrant?
It was so wonderful that I didn’t want to open my eyes.
But my internal clock was warning me that it was time to get up.
Time to start the day, time for classes.
A grunt escaped me as I managed to force my eyes open.
And then I was jolting as the first thing I saw was Sylas lounging in an armchair as he sipped at his blackcurrant tea.
He was in just a pair of silky crimson lounge pants, his sexy ripped chest on full display and his hair in that just-woken-up wild state.
“Morning, sunshine,” he whispered.
Whispered.
I jolted again and looked to see that I was lying on his couch with Velra asleep on top of me, a ratty cover halfway down her back, revealing that she was covered in my forest-green Halfblood Hound satin robe.
I shifted a little to prop my head up against the arm, careful not to wake her. The way she looked when she slept… so peaceful… I didn’t want to mess with that.
Besides, last night had been a lot.
I couldn’t actually believe—
“It appears your night improved after you stormed out of here,” Sylas spoke, cutting into my thoughts and my attempt to process what had gone down. Or, at least some of what had gone down. Like I said, last night had been a lot—too much had happened.
I glared out at him. “I vamp sped out.”
“Ah, yes. That makes all the difference.”
Smarmy little—
“I’m sorry.”
I started. “You’re… what?”
“I’m sorry that my decision to keep my health situation secret hurt you.”
Of fucking course. “You’re sorry you had to deal with my upset, but you’re not sorry for what you did? Sounds about right.”
“No. I’m never sorry to have to deal with any emotion from you. I like when you’re bare to me, when you allow me in.” He couldn’t resist adding, “In more ways than one.”
“You know what? Just save the—”
“What I’m sorry for is that a decision I made ended up hurting you, Lazriel,” he said, being earnest now, and dropping the bullshit.
He put his tea down and scrubbed his hand over his face and for the first time I actually saw distress from him.
Raw, honest, and open distress. “Everyone I’ve ever loved has been taken from me.
Due to circumstances beyond my control. Meeting you…
connecting the way we have… I couldn’t risk that, couldn’t risk what we’re building.
This sickness… it was forced on me. Yet another thing beyond my control that putting out there to you or anyone I grew close to could cause me to lose you.
I know you suffer from abandonment issues, among other things, and with that being the case, I was concerned that if I revealed I was ill, it would destroy what we’ve been building.
” He gritted his teeth, then forced out.
“No. Not just concerned—afraid. I was afraid it would ruin things.”
“You were afraid I’d leave you?”
He swallowed hard.
“Sylas?” I pushed, albeit without an edge this time.
“Yes,” he admitted. “I was.” He shifted his weight on his chair. “And in light of last night, I still am.” He gestured at me holding Velra. “Especially with this… development.”
With some rather impressive graceful moves—if I did say so myself—I managed to extricate myself from Velra without jostling her even a little.
Then I walked to Sylas.
Before I made it to him, he snapped his fingers, and I looked down to find myself clad in his bathrobe.
My lips quirked.
He couldn’t handle me naked in front of him. I liked that a whole lot.
But as he’d just made clear, I had a much deeper effect on him than merely physical titillation and satisfaction—mind-blowing satisfaction, but still.
He stared steadily at me, but I knew him well enough to see some wariness there. He wasn’t sure what I was gonna do—or say. And it had him worried.
Shit, he really cared so much about where this was gonna go.
I slapped my hands down on the arms of his chair and eyed him. “As I’ve repeatedly told Velra—and she finally accepted it last night—I’m absolutely not easily freaked out, necromancer.”
“That sounds mighty powerful in theory.”
“Look, you’ve been there for me during some of my worst moments lately.
Of course I’m going to do the same for you.
And, no, not out of duty, but because I want to.
Because I care about you. Because I pulled you into my fucking life and I don’t do that unless I intend to keep somebody there, all right?
I’m a possessive asshole, Sylas. I thought I’d made that clear several times over. ”
The corner of his mouth turned up. “You have. But—”
“But nothing. I’m not leaving you, not turning tail—pun intended—just because you’re sick.
But you’ve gotta let me in, let us in. Velra might be able to help you.
I can help you with your vigilante work so you don’t get into that awful state of depletion and fucking desiccation that you did last night.
You want me with you, enough where you’ve actually admitted you’re afraid to lose me, then you start fucking acting like it.
You let me help you. Let Velra help you.
You can’t have it both ways. You want this closeness, you’ve gotta let us in. No more closed-off bullshit.”
He remained silent for a moment, taking my words in, and clearly feeling the weight of them.
And then he finally spoke, “Your terms are acceptable.”
Fucking son of a—my terms are—fine. I’d take it. Let him believe he still held the dominant stance in this situation. He’d already put a lot out there, basically stripped himself bare, and I knew he didn’t like that. And, yeah, I also knew really well how that felt.
“Good,” I grunted, pushing off the chair.
He retrieved his tea and took a sip, then gestured at Velra. “Want to explain how that transpired last night?”
“Neither of us wanted to leave you alone through the night so we came back here. She breached your ward to get back in and we slept here. It was actually her suggestion to sleep in your bed, but we decided it would be best not to wake you.”
He raised his eyebrow at that last part.
“Probably something to do with you two kissing.”
“She told you?”
“Yeah.”
“Good.”
It was good, yes. It put us all on the same page. And I liked that she’d gone there with him. It made things easier, and it pulled us closer as a unit, rather than pieces growing close separately, something when she’d told me about the kiss had me realizing just how much I’d wanted that.
Judging by the look in his eyes he was right there with me on that.
Damn, it was strange how things could actually work out sometimes.
It had gone from everything seeming like it was lost when I’d seen him so sick and desiccated last night to this. To this openness, to me being with Velra, her growing closer to him, and now me and Sylas having all this out too.
Despite how it had looked like it had been all heading to hell, it had actually strengthened things.
I just wished we hadn’t needed to get to this point through a whole lot of pain.
“Do I need to do damage control?” he asked, after taking a sip from his tea.
“Damage control?”
“There’s blood over my couch. Did you—”
“Take it too far? No. She wanted it that way.”
“She tapped into her darker predilections?”
“Yeah.”
“Hmm.”
“What?”
“She did that to break the spell protecting my serum in the nightstand. And she would have needed to do that yet again in order to breach my ward to come back in here last night.”
“And? She’s embracing what she’s always been too afraid to.”
“I agree that it’s a positive thing. But it’s also something to keep an eye on.”
“Don’t fucking mention that to her. She’s come so far. She actually let go last night. And she was so happy doing it. She told me after that she felt so free. Nothing’s gonna fuck with that. Nothing and no one.”
“As you wish.” His eyes flicked toward Velra, then he put his tea down and rose to his feet. “Let me rustle up some breakfast. I’m sure you’re both famished.”
I looked at Velra sleeping peacefully, then followed him toward the kitchen. “And you? How are you feeling now? Your magic seems to be back up, because I’m not sensing the sickness now. And you look—”
“Bright-eyed and bushy-tailed?” he asked with a grin over his shoulder.
“I was gonna say like your usual smoking hot, powerhouse self.”
“Mmm… I like that a great deal better.”
He ran his tongue over his bottom lip—definitely intentionally—and it had my eyes flicking right there.
But as I leaned into him, I caught sight of something in the kitchen that had me pulling up short.
A whole drug operation was taking place in one half of the kitchen, all over an old table, floating all around it.
Concoctions of that same milky liquid with the crimson flecks being produced, stirred, and poured and sealed into vials and syringes, the mini-production line being carried out by some sort of spell.
“What the—this wasn’t here before.”
He walked into the kitchen and I followed, my gaze darting all around.
“It was. I had it glamored. But given your insistence on transparency where my sickness is concerned, I lifted the spell.”
“How is this happening? It’s moving rapid-fire. How do you keep it going, especially in your moments of… uh…”
“Weakness?”
“I wouldn’t call it that.”
“I would,” he muttered bitterly. But before I could speak to it, he went on, “Kai kindly had Ariana Martel imbue the process with Celestial magic, enabling it to continue on without the need for a reprieve.”
“Wow, that’s a hell of a favor. Is that something we need to be concerned about?”
“No. It was a repayment of sorts for me doing a big favor for Kai.”
“What kind of favor could warrant that?”
“He required a necromantic master to liberate himself from a fucked-up fate forced on him since birth.”
“Kai Hunter? In that position?”