OBSIDIAN

~Chapter 36~

I don't know what's more ironic:

That I woke up the second time tired... or I don't even know why.

It's not pain, not yet.

It's just that stupid sensation, oppressive feeling like a thought that doesn't know if it should appear or die.

I get up from my bed.

Not because I want but because... I can't stay put. My body feels something that I still don't understand.

My head is throbbing subtly like someone is knocking on a door that I never opened.

I go down the stairs to the kitchen because I'm really hungry and when I say really hungry I mean REALLY HUNGRY.

I take two steps.

Then another two.

The floor seems colder than usual

,,Cass?''

Sergio's voice.

Low

Muffled

Almost.. attentive. Too attentive.

I turn back. He is leaning against the kitchen counter with his arms crossed but his gaze?

His gaze reads like a textbook.

Carefully.

Too carefully.

,,What is it?'' I ask , and I hate a bit how my voice sounds, empty like it's been eaten away from the inside.

,, I got panicked-. I didn't know for gods sake what I should do-'' he says fast and I'm barely able to understand him.

,,Are you sure you're okay?"

His tone isn't dramatic.

It's just...warm, but sharp in the way which only someone who knows you too well can be.

I raise an eyebrow, trying something between fun and ,,what the hell do you want,,.

None comes out.

,,I'm just tired" I say but this is the dumbest lie I said today.

He knows it. ,,Cassian...''

My name on his lips its like a brake.

He touches my wrist lightly with two fingers, just two, like a test.

,,You're trembling. ''

I look at my arm.

The truth is that I didn't even feel it.

,,It's cold.'' I murmur.

Like the temperature can explain the emptiness in my chest, or how my heart beats in the wrong rhythm or how I feel that I breathe air that doesn't help me with anything.

Sergio brings his forehead close to mine, without rush or force.

,, Don't tell me that you're okay if you're not.

" He says ,, not after all this..."

It doesn't sound like a reproach.

It sounds like a request.

In that moment, instead of warming up something hits me in the chest.

Suddenly.

Sharp.

Like a bone that's twisting inside.

I exhale slowly, almost like a whimper.

Sergio gets startled. ,,Cass? Hey, look at me.

"

I look up

And then...

It hits me even harder.

The pain doesn't yell, neither explodes.

It's... calm. Ironic. Like it's saying: ,,I told you. "

My body softens for a second, then it tightens again.

Sergio puts his hand on the back of my neck, firm but soft.

He breathes deep, almost like he's breathing for me.

,, Are you hurting again? Where? Tell me"

,,I don't... know.

" I murmur and this annoys me even more.

,, It's just..."

I don't get to finish.

My heart gives me just one weird pulse, too hard.

And then...

Nothing.

The pain goes away.

My breathing calms down.

My body relaxes absurdly fast.

My eyes open wide.

I feel nothing.

Nothing.

Sergio freezes.

His hand remains on the back of my neck. Present.

,,Hey... answer me..."

But I just stay there.

Empty.

Like a dim light.

I wake up when my cheek gets hit.

,,What the heck-" I say and I look at Sergio

,,Sorry.

You were stuck in a trance.'' He says while taking his hand off the back of my head.

,,Are you better?

Should I call somebody?

"

I laugh

,, They'll think we are crazy" I say and I continue laughing.

I don't wait for his answer and I go to the fridge.

I open the fridge and I take the first thing I see, something like raw pork meat.

I open the container and I put my hands in it and I eat with gusto, even tho the taste is similar to white peas.

,,EWWW MAN WHAT THE FUCK!'' Yelled Sergio and I see him making that face like when you go to your nieces and they pee themselves.

,,I can't believe I haven't tasted this until now.

Do you wanna try?" I say with my mouth stuffed and I see the grimace on Sergio's face.

He puts his palm on his mouth, almost turning to the sink to throw up.

,,No.NO, CASSIAN put down... that thing!

" Manages to say through spasms of disgust.

I shrug.

Really, what's the matter? I swallow a cold piece, hard on the corners and I feel how it lazily slips down my throat.

Weird...but in a satisfying way.

,,At least it's better than peas" I murmur with half of my mouth stuffed.

Sergio leans against the counter. His face is white but his eyes are big ,fixated on me like he's waiting for me to explode or suddenly go into convulsions.

,,Cassian, bro... listen to me..." he says slowly with a tone that should calm down the wild horses.

,,This is not normal. What you just did its NOT normal.

The fact that you're a werewolf, well it is how it is but this stuff.

.."

I pick up a big and sticky piece.

I inspect it. I turn my head to him.

,,And?

"

Sergio blinks two times way too fast.

,,And?

" He repeats histerically. ,,And? Cass?

YOU... ARE EATING RAW MEAT. RAW! With your hand!

From a container! Like it's the popcorn from the cinema!

And before this you had a moment when you completely closed, like.

.. a broken doll!"

His voice cracked a bit at the end.

I chuckle.

I chuckle.

What a strange reaction.

"Sergio, relax. If it was something serious, I would feel it.

"

"YOU DIDN'T FEEL IT!" he screams with the desperation of someone who will surely get an ulcer by the time he's 30.

"You just said you didn't feel anything!

You died inside for a second, got it? You turned off.

You TURNED OFF, Cassian! I... I don't know what to do when you do this!

I... I'm not ready for.."

He stops.

His mouth remains open, but the words don't come out.

You can see the exact moment he realizes he's said too much.

I look at him. Quiet. Too quiet.

It's like someone has locked my emotions away in a locked cupboard somewhere.

I approach him, the casserole in my hand.

"You get scared too easily." I tell him.

I don't know if I'm trying to tease him or calm him down.

I don't know exactly what I want either.

Sergio runs his fingers through his hair, breathing hard, then grabs my wrist, not hard, just enough to stop me.

"Cassian. Please. Throw that crap away.

"

I lift the casserole slowly, very slowly, to his eye level.

"Say magic."

?CASS."

?Sergio."

He looks at me as if he's begging me. And something in his eyes... it hits me, but it doesn't go in.

It's like punching a pillow.

I sigh.

I put the casserole on the table.

He seems to be regaining some color in his cheeks.

"Thank..."

He doesn't finish.

I stagger. A split second.

Like someone pulled the rug out from under me, just enough to make me cling to the edge of reality.

Sergio catches me right away, with those reflexes that give him away that he cares about me way too much for what he admits.

"Cassian? Hey. Hey. Look at me again.

What do you feel? This time you won't lie to me.

"

Inhale. Exhale.

Everything is...

too quiet.

"Nothing." I tell him.

"I think that's the problem."

Sergio bites his lip, as if trying not to burst out.

"Stop acting like everything is normal!

There's something wrong with you and...and I can't just stand by and watch you.

..get lost."

She rests her forehead on my shoulder.

Not intimately.

Desperately.

"Please.

.. don't leave me hanging." he says almost voicelessly.

he says almost voicelessly.

I blink.

Once.

Twice.

Then something small, very small, like a spark on a dusty cable.

.. moves in my chest.

Almost an emotion.

Almost.

"I'm not going anywhere, idiot.

" I murmur, because I don't know how else to calm him down.

Sergio laughs a short, shaky laugh.

"Promise?

"

I look him in the eye, and something else hits me again.

It doesn't go in, but it leaves an imprint.

"Promise."

...though I don't know if I can control what comes next.

Before I can say anything, there's a knock on the door.

I look at Sergio

He looks at me.

Eventually he goes to see who it is and I go back to eating my meat.

I hear him speaking, super clear.

"Is Cassian here, Sergio?

"

"Yes" Sergio says

"Can we come in?

"

"Hmm...okay"

I don't realize who's talking until after.

...

Ash and Niko enter the kitchen almost in time, like a double shadow.

Their steps aren't hurried, but they have that rhythm. .. too sure. Too calculated.

Sergio takes a step to the side, as if a storm has passed in front of him.

Niko sees me first. His eyes slowly drop to the image of me, the way I'm leaning against the counter with a raw pork casserole in my hand.

He doesn't say anything. He just licks his bottom lip briefly.

Ash, on the other hand, is already moving.

"Cass..." Niko says, his voice low. "How are you feeling?

"

"Very good," I answer without blinking, popping another piece into my mouth.

Sergio rolls his eyes so hard I can almost hear him.

"YES, SURE. EXTRAORDINARY GOOD. I FEEL PERFECT TO HEAR MYSELF EATING RAW MEAT, TOO.

"

Niko raises a finger at him without even looking at him.

"Sergio. Breathe."

"I CAN'T brEATHE WITH THIS IN FRONT OF ME. .!"

But he doesn't get to continue.

Because Ash gets behind me.

Without a word.

Without a warning.

His hands come to my stomach, as if that place has always belonged to him.

Warm. Heavy. Controlled. He pulls me gently towards him, his chest touching my back, and his chin rests on my shoulder.

"You have a strange pulse." he murmurs, almost purring.

"Too fast. Too... irregular."

I continue eating.

Niko slowly rolls his tongue over his upper lip "Are you stuck again?

"

The question is asked in that dangerously calm tone, like a blade you don't know if he's going to use.

I shrug.

Ash presses his nose to the back of my neck and takes a deep breath.

"You smell so different..."

Sergio raises his hands in the air:

"I AM BEING ASKED, ARE YOU SPEAK NORMAL?

! LIKE HUMANS?!"

But no one listens to him.

.I feel Ash's lips move over my skin, almost lazily.

A short kiss. Too warm. Too sure.

"Were you scared?

" he asks, but in that way he doesn't expect the truth.

And he doesn't get it.

"No."

Niko steps forward and places a hand on the counter, almost pressing against me.

He closes all the distance we had.

His eyes lift to mine, slowly, like a predator checking to see if its prey is still breathing.

"You're lying," he says simply.

I bite into another piece of meat

"Cassian, bro.

.. PLEASE," Sergio snaps, desperately. "Niko, do something.

Ash... DON'T LICK HIS NECK WHILE HE'S EATING RAW MEAT.

IT'S... IT'S TOO MUCH FOR MY brAIN."

Ash raises an eyebrow without moving away at all.

"Is that the part that bothers you?" he asks calmly.

"YES, THAT'S THE PART!!" Sergio yells, pointing in all directions.

"KISS HIM AFTER YOU MASTURBATE, NOT WHILE HE'S DOING.

.. this!!"

Niko sighs theatrically and takes the casserole from my hand.

I look at him, unmoved.

"That's enough," he says.

"You've had enough raw pork for today."

"Back off.

"

"No."

Sergio puts his hands on his face: "Why am I the only normal person in this house. .."

Ash presses his body closer to mine, pinning me between him and the island.

"Cassian." he says softly. "If you disconnect just once more.

.. we'll keep you with us. Always. Mandatory"

His tone is too soft.

Too protective.

Too... possessive.

Niko adds, while leaning against the counter and looking at me like a phenomenon:

"You're not going anywhere alone again.

Do you understand?"

Sergio raises a hand:

"100% he won't agree"

"he'll be a.

..good boy" Niko cuts him off without even looking at him.

I blink slowly.

"I'm not leaving.

" I say.

Ash presses his lips to my neck again.

Niko smiles with the corner of his mouth, in that too-sure way.

Sergio slumps down in a chair, resigned.

"Great. Perfect. Wonderful. Apparently I'm in a house with three different versions of 'stay with me or die', and one of them is busy eating raw pork like an animal.

.. fantastic. I'm really living life."

"You know your time is coming" Niko says and takes his eyes off me, and turns them to my brother

"HOW?

With a crazy girl like you?" He says simply and puts his hand to his chest "I swear I'll throw myself off the house if I do"

Ash moves his hand lower than necessary once more and this makes me moan a little but very quietly, then he goes to the chair next to the island and starts saying

"Do you have a problem with people being the same gender, Sergio?

" Ash says in a dominant tone

"How embarrassing" I say to Sergio and I pout

He shows me a bad girl and frowns.

"Nooo... logically not"

"Then what made you think it was a 'she' and not a 'he'?

" Niko says and that really got me thinking too

"Yeah right" I say and I go through the kitchen to sit on the sofa in the living room, I sit down comfortably but later they come and sit on the same sofa but in the corners.

It takes a while before I decide to change the subject because Sergio doesn't give any indication that he wants to answer so why not.

"Is today Sunday?" I say and cough a little.

Maybe that meat was too salty and ruined my culinary delight

"Are you kidding?

" Sergio finally says and I look at him with a raised eyebrow.

I really didn't know what to do today.

"It's Thursday. You were at school on Monday and Tuesday, don't you remember?

" Niko says and I look at him a little surprised.

I mean, when the hell did the days go by so quickly?

Have I lost track of time? ARE WE 10 YEARS IN THE FUTURE?

I suddenly get up from the couch.

Too suddenly, as if something pushed me.

My breath catches for a second, and the room seems to tilt to one side.

"Baby?" Niko says, right behind me.

"I need a bath, I'll be right back.

.." I look at my watch and continue "in 30 minutes maximum" I say and with that I go up to my room.

I close the door to the room and head to the bathroom.

I wasn't kidding when I said I wanted to take a bath.

I feel dirty but clean, it's a new feeling but not too new.

"What are you doing? Better?" Someone says and I realize it's Brex.

"I don't know...much better than this morning" I say with a sigh and undress "what was all that about?

" I ask and I just get a growl.

"Well I don't know how much logic this makes to you people, but when others like me come to host them they have a time when they can just be people, do you understand that far?

" He asks and I say yes in my mind, while I also take off my pants and underwear

"And when you cross that so-called 'barrier' you can become both human and werewolf or whatever you call it wolf"

"So you mean I crossed that barrier?

" I ask as I get into the shower.

"Basically yes.

..but I'm not allowed to tell you about your past, you have to find out from the appropriate people.

Or more precisely from Ash and Niko"

"What do they have to do with this?

" I ask and freeze when I hear their names, it doesn't make sense.

"I mean it doesn't make sense at all"

"That's what you think.

But I think it's better for you to know this now, you've already evolved a lot compared to the first week" something in Brex's voice makes me excited but I stop after a while when it's already getting embarrassing.

I get out of the shower and go into the room.

I don't have time to get out because Niko is at the entrance to the dressing room and Ash is on my desk chair.

"What the.." I blurt out because I'm slammed against the wall next to the bathroom door

"How dare you come out of the bathroom naked?

" Niko says and I look down at myself.

Oh'

I forgot about that.

"I-" I lose the words when Niko runs his hands down my back and lower.

He grabs my ass and moves one hand to my entrance and it makes me gasp

"Ugh.

.." I mumble innocently as he comes closer to me and licks my neck all the way to the back.

He is stopped when a giggle is heard from behind him and the following words

"Leave it,angel.

We'll have time another time" and with that Ash gets up from my chair and comes towards me.

He approaches my mouth, kisses me sweetly and slowly but after his tongue he wants to be dominant and I open my mouth, I let him touch every part of my mouth and suck my tongue.

He puts a hand on my waist and moves it to my toned abdomen and takes it lower but I stop him when I grab his hand

"Didn't you say you had time 'sometime' plus Sergio is down too" I say when he lets me go in sports and I look at him angrily.

I struggle to get out of their cage and I actually succeed.

I go to the closet and go in.

But normally

With them after me.

For the first time I put on some black Calvin Klein boxers and reach for my pajamas but Niko grabs me by the waist and kisses the back of my neck.

"Stop" I say but don't do that

"Niko" I say louder until I manage to turn to face him "haven't you heard of privacy?

" I say and look at Ash who just looks at me and Niko in amusement

I manage with difficulty to put on some pajama pants without a blouse, I can't stand them at all for a while.

I turn to them and see them rummaging through my things. My books. My homework. My drawers. Everything.

I reach the bed and collapse into it, still thinking like a completely normal person, or at least that's what I like to think.

But before I can even feel its texture beneath me, I can already hear them.

Their footsteps.

Those two come after me almost at the same time, like two overly intelligent dogs that have caught the right scent. .

Sergio stayed in the kitchen, muttering something about "therapy" and "I want to find a normal housemate" that I can hear from the bed, but I'm more interested in those two than I want to say.

Niko moves next to me. Too close. TOO close.

Ash moves to the other side. Even closer.

And suddenly... my personal space becomes a dead concept.

"Well..." he murmurs, pushing me back an inch.

"Let me... breathe for a moment?"

Niko leans back, rests his head on the pillow, and looks at me out of the corner of his eye.

"I breathe," he says as if it's a simple, undeniable reality.

"But not without us."

Ash places his arm on the back of the bed behind me.

He doesn't touch me. But I can feel my skin burning just from the proximity.

"You've been alone too much today," he adds in that soft, yet authoritative tone. "Now it's our turn."

I roll my eyes. "I'm not asking for space, space, just..

. a little space. A little. Half a meter?

Ten centimeters? A thought of freedom?"

Niko turns his head completely towards me.

Slowly. Very slowly. His gaze falls on my neck.

Then on my collarbone. Then on my pulse.

And he smiles. Like a wolf who's found a reason to get even closer.

"No," he says simply. "Not today...or ever. "

Ash moves his fingers along the seat back, as if drawing invisible lines behind me.

"Cassian..." he murmurs, his lips almost touching my ear.

. "If you tell us 'I want privacy', I'm going to think you want a.

.. different kind of privacy."

I feel a shiver.

I ignore him. Of course.

"No, not that intimacy," I say immediately, pressed.

"I just want to be able to go for five minutes without. ."

Ash brings his knee closer to mine. Niko puts his hand on the seat back, right behind my head.

They're locked on either side. Like two warm, living walls.

"Without us?" Niko asks in a tone so calm it takes me by surprise.

I swallow. Hard.

"Just... a little.

" I mutter, more softly than I should.

Ash leans toward me, slightly, almost lazily.

"Then say it like that," he says. "Say, 'I need a minute alone, please dear' " " "And we're off," Niko adds.

But the look in his eyes tells me that..

. only one minute comes for free. The rest is negotiable.

I take a deep breath. "I need a minute alone, please.

..Caro"

They look at each other.

An exchange of glances. A silent agreement.

Niko stands up first. Ash follows. They both back away.

.. slowly. Not like normal people, but like predators who give up space just because they want to.

"One minute." Niko says, before leaving the room

"Sixty seconds.

" Ash says over his shoulder, as he disappears around the corner and leaves the door open

I'm left alone. I breathe.

Sergio shouts from the kitchen: "SHOULDN'T THEY LET THEM NEGOTIATE AT THAT MINUTE, CASSIAN!!"

"Ehh....too late." I yell at him