Chapter Eleven
Ocean
It shouldn’t have shocked me when “fixing the bid” for the Chinese contract wasn’t quite enough or that I was on a plane to China to save the project. It was just how things went in my line of work. Only this time, it was different because this time, I was leaving someone behind…Duncan.
I’d offered to take him with me. It wasn’t like I was going to be working twenty-four hours a day while I was there, but he wasn’t able to get that kind of time off from his job on such short notice.
There were very few jobs where you could, but if I didn’t offer, I’d have felt horrible.
I was only going to be gone a week, but, since we’d started dating, we’d seen each other every day.
It already felt like a lifetime, and I’d barely left.
This week was going to suck. Sure, I could call him, but calling wasn’t the same, and, with the time difference, it wasn’t that easy, either.
On the plane, I settled in for the long flight.
I spent far too much of it worrying about things with Duncan and not focused on my work, which made my first day there exponentially harder than it needed to be.
I went from meeting to meeting to meeting and didn’t feel quite prepared for any of them, but I must have done well based on their reactions.
By the time I went to crash in the hotel room that night, I felt confident that this trip was going to be a success.
It was nearly a twelve-hour time difference, which meant Duncan was at work right now.
Despite wanting to call him to hear his voice, it was better just to send him a text letting him know I was thinking about him.
I showered and climbed into bed, expecting to have trouble falling asleep with my brain going a thousand miles a minute about all the things I had to accomplish the next day.
But exhaustion took over quickly, and I didn’t open my eyes again until the alarm on my phone ripped me from my sleep.
The first thing I did was blink away the blurriness so I could look and see if Duncan had messaged me back. He had.
Hope you’re having a wonderful day. I know you’re kicking butt and taking names. Miss you.
I read that message five or six times before getting ready for the day.
Today was going to be rough. I had to do a presentation in a language I was not proficient in.
I could hold my own, ish, for the parts I was presenting because I’d practiced them, but when it came to question-and-answer time, I was going to have to rely too heavily on a translator.
There was nothing inherently wrong with that.
No one expects you to know every language.
But when you ask someone to give you a nearly billion-dollar contract, it’s best if they see you as being reliable and responsible, and part of that is knowing what they’re asking of you without the help of a third party.
The presentation went as well as I had hoped, and the question-and-answer session went even better.
I did have to ask the translator for help a couple of times, but for the most part, I held my own, feeling on top of the world.
I was meeting everybody for dinner, but we were all going back to our homes or hotels in the meantime.
The entire way there, all I kept thinking was, “I want to tell Duncan about this. He’ll be so proud of me. ”
I flinched when I did the math to see what time it was at home. It was too early to call, so instead, I sent him a text and asked him when he would be available to FaceTime. I was surprised when he replied, I’m up now. Opening today.
I never hit a FaceTime button that fast before and was thrilled when he picked up right away. His hair was damp. He hadn’t just been saying he was awake to be nice, so I didn’t feel bad calling.
“Are you done working for the day?” he asked.
“Yes and no. We have a work dinner, but I had a presentation today. Do you have time to hear all about it?”
“I’ll always make time for you.”
I had a feeling he was going to regret that after he listened to me recount my entire day at work, but instead, he kept asking relevant questions and listened attentively to the answers.
“And how was your day yesterday?” I asked, not wanting this to all be one-sided.
“It was fine. We had someone rent out the entire restaurant, and that’s always chaos but in an organized way. One of the law offices was having their celebration of… I didn’t really pay attention to what, but some big celebration that—”
“I miss you,” I cut him off before he even finished his story. “I miss you so much, and I know it’s too soon to be missing you like this, but I do.”
“Oh, my sweet boy, I miss you too. I’m glad you’re having a great trip and that you’re accomplishing all your goals, but it’d be so much nicer if you could do that and still be close enough for me to hug.”
Duncan was so open and honest with his feelings.
And while I tried to be, I’d always held them back a bit, always fearful that I was going to jump in with two feet and end up in a situation like I did last time.
But, after this phone call, I realized I couldn’t do that anymore. It wasn’t good for either of us.
Duncan’s alarm went off.
“You need to go,” I said.
“Unfortunately, I do, sweet boy. And if I weren’t driving, I’d keep talking to you. But you know how morning traffic is around here.”
As early as it was, he was right. The traffic started that early.
People no longer worked nine to five. They tried to get in early and leave early, which was great, but it also meant he needed to be focused on the road and not chatting with me while I was having a pity party in China over missing this man.
“I’ll talk to you later, sweet boy.”
“Sounds like a plan, Duncan.”
Only, I didn’t want to say Duncan. I wanted to say Daddy.
We were almost there but not quite. But as I got to know him and we hung out more, I started to believe that maybe it was okay if we never fully did.
He was taking care of me in his own way, and it might not be a “little” thing, but it was loving, and I was there for it.
I didn’t feel like that was the case. But coming to the realization that I truly and fully wanted Duncan, regardless of his desire to be my daddy, blanketed me with such warmth, I couldn’t wait to get home. Only a few more days.