Chapter 10
CULLEN
The sun was shining bright overhead when I spotted Rose heading my way.
She had Callie in the stroller and wheeled her right down the center of Main.
I’d been thinking about her all morning but seeing her in the flesh cemented every promise I’d made the night before.
This was the beginning of what I hoped would be a long life for the two of us.
Hell, maybe even more kids together. Callie ought to have a baby brother or sister, preferably with Rose’s smile.
“Hey, how are my girls this morning?” I walked toward them as they got closer, leaning down to give Rose a kiss.
Now that I’d gotten my head out of my ass and figured out what I wanted, I didn’t care who saw us together.
I was done hiding. If falling for my daughter’s nanny made me a cliche, I was ready to embrace it with open arms.
Rose didn’t kiss me back, but she was probably just uncomfortable with a public display of affection. We could work on that.
“Your daughter’s still teething. Sounds like she gave Ruby a hard time last night, though I don’t think she’d ever complain about it,” she said.
In a pair of jeans that hugged her curves and one of my flannel shirts knotted at her waist, Rose looked good enough to eat. And I planned on doing just that as soon as I got her home later.
“Come here, little one.” I unbuckled Callie and pulled her into my arms. She rubbed her palm over the scruff on my cheek then looked at Rose.
“Mmm-aaaa.” Her arms stretched out, reaching for Rose.
“Did she just say—”
“No.” Rose crossed her arms, preventing me from passing over the baby. “She’s just mumbling.”
“What’s wrong, sweetness?” Apprehension swirled through my gut. The tenderness we’d shared last night was gone. Even though we only stood a couple of feet apart, it seemed like a gulf had opened between us.
“I can’t do this.” Rose stared at her feet. “Last night you asked me to stay. I really thought you meant it, but I have to look out for myself before I blow apart both of you,” she said, her voice tight. “It’s better for me to leave now than rip out Callie’s heart later.”
“What are you talking about? I did mean it. I still do.” Standing in the middle of Main wasn’t the right place to have this talk.
Judges were getting ready to taste test the chicken and pork entries and a crowd had gathered.
I lowered my voice and leaned in. “Can we talk about this later? When we’re alone? ”
She shook her head. “It hit me this morning. You want me to stay until Callie enters school. Then what? You’ll kick me out of your house and out of your bed since you won’t need me anymore?”
“Baby, that’s not what I meant.” I shifted Callie to one arm and reached for Rose with the other. “I asked if you’d stay that long, then we…”
“We what? You can say it. We fucked.” She shrugged it off like what happened between us didn’t mean a thing.
“Hey, Cullen. Smells good.” Sage walked by with his kid but didn’t stop. “Can’t wait to try whatever you’ve got in that smoker.”
I smiled and nodded, hoping they hadn’t overheard our conversation. After they passed, I pushed the stroller closer to my truck and Rose followed. “That’s not exactly how it happened. I didn’t mean for it to come to that.”
“Just a bonus then, huh?” She finally looked at me. Streaks of red cris-crossed the whites of her eyes. Dammit, she’d been crying.
“Rose.” The timer went off, signaling I needed to mop the meat with sauce again. “What’s really going on? Last night wasn’t just a bonus. It meant everything.”
“I can’t do this.” She pulled her bag out from the basket underneath the stroller. “I don’t want Callie to go through what I did as a kid. She needs someone who will be there for her for the long haul.”
“You’re right. That’s what I want too. You and me and—”
“No.” She took a slow step back as she shook her head.
The ground underneath me shifted. She didn’t understand. “I need you, Rose. I can’t do this without you.”
She took another step back, then another. Her forehead creased, and she wiped the tears away from her cheeks with the sleeve of my own damn shirt. “You can, and you will. You don’t have a choice.”
“But you do, right? Aren’t you tired of constantly moving?” She was scared. I understood that. But I also knew that if she ran now, she’d never stop. “Don’t leave, sweetness. Stay with me.”
She shook her head one last time, then turned around and didn’t look back.
“Rose!” I called out over the sound of the timer going off again. Callie started to cry. There was no one around to hand her off to. No one to check on the brisket to make sure it wasn’t getting too dry. No one but me.
I killed the timer, set Callie back in the stroller with her favorite wolf stuffie to keep her company, and checked on the meat.
If Rose didn’t want to be part of our lives, I wouldn’t force it.
She’d told me who she was and what she wanted from the start.
I should have believed her. Hell, I should have known better than to trust her with my heart.
Should have known better to trust anyone with it.
Ruby walked up a few minutes later. “Where’s Rose?”
“She left.”
“Well, where did she go?” Ruby looked around like she expected to see Rose rounding a corner any second.
Defeat had my shoulders sagging. “I don’t know. North Carolina, maybe?”
“Oh, stop teasing.” Ruby let out a soft laugh. “I wanted to wait to share the good news with both of you, but I can’t keep it to myself.”
“What good news?” I set the basting brush back in the metal bin and faced her. The excitement in her eyes made her look like she was about to burst.
“Someone is wondering if you might like to set up your own barbecue restaurant right here in Mustang Mountain. I know you’re committed to the fire station, but have you ever thought about it?
We haven’t had a good place for barbecue around here in years.
And when you win that first place trophy, folks are going to want to be able to try your brisket for themselves.
” Ruby clapped her hands together and smiled.
“Who is it?” The only person I’d ever mentioned my dream to was Rose. Had she told Ruby about it this morning?
“Someone who wants to be a silent investor. This particular individual has helped quite a few other local businesses get up and running. It’s a legitimate offer, sugar. What do you think?” Her eyebrows arched while she waited for me to reply.
“What’s the catch?”
“No catch. There’s a stipulation that you’d work with ranchers in the area to keep things local.
I can even set up a meeting for you with the Kincaids if you’d like.
” Ruby crouched down to pick up Callie’s wolf that she’d tossed onto the ground.
“Can I give the go ahead to get some papers drawn up? Orville said there’s a perfect spot downtown, right across from the Merc, that’s coming available soon. ”
It was happening fast. Maybe too fast. Or maybe this was how it was meant to be. I’d always wanted to find a way to honor my great-aunt who’d raised me. Maybe this was the way to do it. I could build something that would last. That I could pass on to my own child. Something we could grow together.
“That would be great, Ruby. I’d appreciate you getting the conversation going.”
“I’m so happy you want to do this. Be sure to tell Rose as soon as you see her. That woman needs something permanent in her life. Somewhere she knows she belongs.” Ruby brushed off the wolf and handed it back to Callie who laughed and tossed it on the ground again.
Ruby’s words lodged in my head. Something permanent… Somewhere she knows she belongs. Fuck… no wonder Rose doubted me. Did she think I was only interested in her so she’d stick around and take care of Callie?
“Do you mind watching Callie for a minute?” I wiped my hands on my prep rag, not willing to waste another second.
“Sure, hon. Where are you going?” Ruby asked.
“There’s something I need to say to someone. I’ll be back before it’s time to sauce the meat again.” That gave me at least half an hour to try to catch Rose at the cabin before she took off for good. I jumped in my truck and peeled out of the lot, narrowly missing a light post.
Everything Rose said this morning made sense when I looked at it through her eyes. She needed to know it was her I wanted, not just someone to make my life easier. I pressed on the gas, hoping I’d catch her before she left.
Her car was still in the drive when I arrived. I blocked her in with my truck in case she tried to run before giving me a chance to explain myself. I found her in the guest bedroom, shoving what little she owned into one of her bags.
“You’re still here.” I stopped in the doorway and let out a huge sigh of relief. “We need to talk.”
“What’s left to say?” She pulled the last of her shirts from a drawer.
“Everything.” Taking small steps so I didn’t spook her, I walked toward her. “Last night, when I asked you to stay, I wasn’t sure how you felt about me. But I don’t think you fully understand how I feel about you.”
“And how’s that?” One hand clamped to her hip. Her eyes were hard, but I caught the way her lower lip trembled.
“I want you, Rose. Not just to take care of Callie, though you’ve proven you’re a lot better at that than I am.
I want you for you. Before you and Callie came into my life, I thought I had everything figured out.
But since then I’ve realized, the only thing I’d mastered was how to be alone.
” I took another step closer, hoping my words were getting through.
She swallowed hard but didn’t move so I kept going.
“You opened up my heart. You showed me another way, and now that I know it’s out there, it’s what I want.” I stopped right in front of her, resisting the overwhelming urge to pull her into my arms. “I want you. I want us. I can find someone else to watch Callie. Stay for me, sweetness.”
A tear rolled down her cheek. “I thought you just wanted me to stay so you had someone to take care of your daughter.”
I reached up and wiped the tear away with my thumb, then traced the line of her jaw.
“Callie’s not going anywhere. We’re a package deal so if you’re willing to stay for me, she’s going to be around.
But I can find someone else to watch her.
I don’t want you to stay to be my nanny, Rose.
I want you to stay so we can give us a fair shot. ”
“No one’s ever asked me to stay before.” She tilted her head back and looked up at me.
“This is new to me too. I’ve never wanted to ask someone to stay. You make me want things I never even considered before. Like a family.”
“You and me and Callie?” Her voice came out so quiet, it was like she was afraid to say the words out loud.
“Exactly.” I held out my arms, and she buried her face in my chest.
“For once I don’t want to run,” she said into my shirt, the words small and shaking.
Her shoulders shook as she cried. I held her tighter. I wasn’t sure if they were tears of joy or sadness. Didn’t matter either way. Whatever she needed from me, in that moment or in the future, I was going to give it to her.
She took a deep breath and pulled back. Her hair was messed up, her eyes were still red, and her cheeks were wet, but she’d never looked more beautiful.
“When Callie said ‘mama’ this morning, it made me realize how temporary everything was. It hit me that I was doing exactly what my mom did to me… letting her trust me until the time came for me to disappear on her. I won’t do that to her. I can’t.”
“I’m not asking you to.” I stepped out for a second to grab the gift I’d had made for her.
“What’s this?”
“Something I planned on giving you for Christmas if you agreed to stay. If you left before that, I would have given it to you, so you’d have something to remember me and Callie by.” I waited while her fingers fumbled with the tissue-wrapped gift.
When she’d slid the paper away and held it up, her eyes filled with tears again. “A snow globe?”
She shook it and watched tiny flakes of snow float around the picture Ruby had taken of the three of us on the couch just the other day.
“We can be a family, Rose. Will you stay? Will you let me love you like you deserve?”
Her nod meant everything. “Yes.”
I kissed her then. Not the hot and desperate way like I had the night before, just the kind of kiss that builds trust one careful breath at a time. For once, she wasn’t running. And for once, I wasn’t afraid to be caught.