13. Kain
Chapter 13
Kain
" K ain, she's safe. You don't need to be in there with her."
This infernal fucking gold-fae is about to feel the full force of Skoll behind my fist if I don't keep my shit together. My wolf's presence burns hot in my mind, his rage feeding mine until I can taste metal on my tongue.
"Tell me why she's in the healing rooms," I say, forcing each word through clenched teeth. It comes out as a snarl. Odin's fucking luck, I follow her all day, every day, and the one time she pisses me off enough to leave, something happens. The one time I let my own weakness drive me away from her.
"I've already told you, we've sedated her." Erik's eyes lock on mine, unflinching. Few can meet my gaze this long—they all see the promise of violence that never quite leaves.
"And if you don't tell me why, I'll burn this entire fucking building to ground." Skoll's approval pulses through me like molten fire in my veins.
Valdis sighs. "Erik, this is pointless," she says, then turns to me. "She has a concussion. We think she hit her head when she fell."
"Why did she fall?"
Valdis gives me a sarcastic look. "Why do you think? She blacks out almost every day—it was only a matter of time before she hurt herself."
"Who found her?"
Erik and Valdis exchange glances. The scent of their unease fills the air like smoke.
"Her bear turned up here," Erik says quietly.
I hiss through my teeth, Skoll's growl reverberating through my chest. Thyrvi only goes to her when she's in danger.
"I don't believe that she just fell." There's more than they're telling me. I know there is. "Let me in there."
"She needs rest."
"And I will be there while she rests." While she's vulnerable. While she can't defend herself.
Erik takes a step toward me,, and Skoll flares to life. Other folk underestimate Erik. They think that because he's kind, because he's a healer, he can't fight. They're wrong. I've seen him fight many, many times. And a man who is practically immortal fights fearlessly.
But right now, I don't care what he's capable of. Nothing will keep me from her.
"Why do you have such a fascination with her?" His voice is soft, probing.
I wouldn't answer him even if I knew. Which, infuriatingly, I don't. Two hundred years of single-minded purpose, and this slip of an ice-fae threatens to unravel everything.
"Fuck off, Erik, and let me in, before I let myself in." Skoll's hackles rise.
Valdis touches Erik's shoulder. "What harm can it do?"
Erik takes a slow breath, then steps aside.
I push through the door without hesitation, and Skoll snarls viciously when I see her on the pallet. The sound echoes my own rage at seeing her like this—small and vulnerable in ways she should never be.
She's wearing a long-sleeved shift instead of her leathers, her pale blue hair fanned out around her head on the pillow. I move closer. Her full lips are parted as she breathes softly, her eyes closed.
Soft. Gentle. So fragile. So… burnable .
My hands clench into fists.
What I wouldn't give to touch her face. To press my lips to hers.
And Odin's fucking raven, this isn't just lust. It's her I want. I want her to feel safe, to feel happy, to feel like a fucking goddess. To never look this helpless again.
Shit.
What wouldn't I give?
The question pulses in my mind.
This is dangerous. I can't be willing to give anything up for her. I've waited too long. I'm too close. I would regret it forever—as long as that may be. The revenge that's sustained me for centuries sits heavy in my gut, warring with this new, impossible need.
What do I think will happen when she gets her wings?
If I give up my revenge, if I abandon my plans… what, she'll choose to stay shackled to Featherblade with a mate who can't even touch her? Give her any kind of life?
Skoll paces faster.
The fact that I'm even considering this is absurd.
I already know she can't handle it. She would hurt herself through sheer lust; she's proven that.
It's impossible.
And it's not worth my revenge. It's not worth my freedom .
"Thyrvi?"
Her mumbled word scatters my thoughts like ash. I bend over her, careful to keep enough distance that my heat won't harm her. "Kain," I say. "Thyrvi isn't here."
She opens her eyes with painful slowness. They're cloudy for a moment, unfocused, then widen when she sees my face.
"What…" she starts, voice rough, then trails off.
I step back to the water jug in the corner to pour her a drink, and when I turn back, she moves jerkily, as though doing something she didn't want me to see. She's sitting up and pulling the shoulder of her shift around her neck, and I frown.
"What happened?"
She drinks deeply before answering. "They attacked me. Waited until you were gone and I passed out. I hit my head on the way down, then Inga hit me across the face, and it messed me up. I was dizzy and I couldn't see."
Rage claws through me like living flame. Skoll flares hot, and she looks at him before taking a breath and continuing.
"Inga's bear was fighting Thyrvi. I…" She stares at her glass. "I fought back. I turned my whole body to ice, and I fired shards at them. Missed Inga, but I got Orgid." A small, false smile touches her lips. "I'm getting stronger. There were two of them, and just one of me. I won. I chased them off."
"And you were already injured." The words barely make it past my teeth. Skoll's hunger for violence fills my mouth with the taste of blood.
"How do I control my ice magic and keep Thyrvi here all the time?" she whispers.
The desperation in her voice makes me want to explode into a thousand fucking fireballs and make good on my threat to Erik to burn this entire place down—just to destroy anything that might ever make her feel like this again.
But I'd destroy her too.
I stare into her face.
Surely, whatever I do, I will destroy her. How can it be any other way? Fire burns. That's what it does. That's what I am.
Skoll howls, and I take a deep breath.
There's only one path I can take right now.
I have to make her strong enough to withstand me.