15. Maddy
Chapter 15
Maddy
" M addy, why in Odin's name didn't you tell the Valkyrie what Inga and Orgid did to you?" Sarra is not doing a great job of hiding her anger. "They were literally punished for cowardice, today, then they jumped you again! They deserve to be thrown out of Featherblade!"
The livid expression on my friend's face makes me feel incredibly grateful for her, and she doesn't even know the worst of it.
I haven't told her about the brand.
Every time I look at it, I feel sick—not from the memory of searing pain, but what it represents.
They won. I may have chased them off, but my victory came too late. They pinned me down and burned a permanent mark into my body to mark me as what they think I am, carving their judgment into my flesh.
Alone .
If Valdis or Erik saw it, then they haven't mentioned it. I was covered in thick ice when they found me, so it is entirely feasible they aren't aware of it.
When they asked me what happened, I decided to lie and tell them I just fell and hit my head. I'm not convinced they believe me, but they haven't pushed me for the truth.
"I want to show them I'm strong on my own," I tell Sarra. It's true. At first, I didn't know why I lied. But in the few hours since I left the Healing Wing, I've realized. "I want them to know I can punish them without the help of the Valkyrie."
Sarra looks at me uncertainly. "Can you, though?"
I grin at her, feeling Thyrvi's strength humming through our bond even from the High Hall where I left her. The brand may be permanent, but it's just a scar now—proof that they tried to break me and failed.
"I can now." I grab Sarra's hand and pull her up from the furs. "Come."
When we get to the High Hall, Sarra stumbles to a halt, her protesting questions about where we're going dying on her lips.
"Oh my…"
She is staring wide-eyed at Thyrvi, who is, for some reason only known to herself, pawing as delicately as she can at one of the arms of Odin's throne.
"Thyrvi! Don't damage that—it belonged to the king of the gods!" I exclaim, hurrying toward her.
She swings her massive head around to eye me, then looks at Sarra a moment before settling back on me. "It has gemstones in it."
"Yes."
"They're shiny."
I sigh. "Leave them alone."
She huffs out a massive sigh, then heaves onto her backside, a gesture I'm now recognizing as reluctant submission.
"This is my friend Sarra," I say.
Thyrvi blinks. "Is she a warrior?"
"No, she makes magic for the fae. She's human."
This interests the bear, and she gets back on her feet and moves toward us.
Sarra freezes. "Maddy…"
"She's safe," I tell my friend, which earns me a glare from the bear.
"Safe? I am as dangerous as anything that exists in Yggdrasil ," she says indignantly.
"Of course you are. But you're safe to my friends, aren't you?" I make it clear that the question is rhetorical.
The bear nods her head and sniffs Sarra. "She smells of… beast."
I frown. "Beast?"
Sarra looks at me. "What is she saying?"
"That you smell of beast."
"Erm, charming?"
I'm about to answer when a noise from the front of the High Hall makes us both turn. It's late, so I wasn't expecting anyone, but we're in a central part of Featherblade, so I'm not surprised.
I'm ready to tell whoever it is that we're not doing anything wrong, but my protestations die on my lips when Harald's voice rings through the hall. "Odin's blasted raven, she's a beaut!" As we all turn and look, Harald hurries toward us, staring in unconcealed appreciation at Thyrvi.
"She's—" I start, but Harald waves his hand toward the door and looks at me, beaming.
"The others are on their way for some dull-as-ditchwater meeting. Come on, we must be quick if we are to avoid them." He starts marching toward the door, and I look at Sarra in confusion.
"Be quick? Where are we going?" I call after him.
"Well, that's obvious! We need to find somewhere for this mighty warrior to sleep!"
Thyrvi paws the ground. "I like him."
Of course she does.
She doesn't wait for me, ambling immediately in the direction of the huge doors, after the massive, winged shadow-fae.
"I'll see you tomorrow," I say apologetically to Sarra, and she nods before hurrying toward the thrall quarters door behind the throne.
"Now, tell me. Can you dismiss her, and bring her back at the Bear Wing?" Harald asks me when I catch up to him.
"Erm, she doesn't want to be dismissed now she's here."
He pauses, and Thyrvi and I stop too. Harald looks at her a long moment, and she stares back at him.
"I'm not leaving," she says in my head. "It's dark and boring, and I don't know what I'm missing."
"That might be a problem," Harald say s eventually. "There are a lot of doors and narrow paths she will simply not be able to navigate within Featherblade."
Thyrvi bares her teeth, and then heaves herself against the massive doors to make them swing open. Once out, she starts to march down the steps.
"That's the wrong way," I tell her, and she snarls loudly before turning.
"I'm not leaving."
"You don't have to leave," I reassure her, then turn to Harald. "She won't go."
"Do you think you can dismiss her and then recall her for very short periods? Enough to climb this narrow stairway, for example?" he says, waving at the steps set into the side of the building that lead toward the Bear Wing.
"He has a point," I tell the bear. She eyes the steps, jaw twitching. "Moving around Featherblade will be difficult."
"Do you know how to call me back if I go?" She's nervous, I realize.
I could lie to her, but the fact is, I know as little as she does. "I don't know. We haven't tried yet."
She swings her gaze from the steps to me. "Do we have to try?"
I'm nervous too, but the practicalities are clear. And deep down, I know I can get her back. She's part of me now—we're one.
"I think so. We will be stronger in battle if I can move you from one place to another." I can also move her to safety this way, but I won't offend her with that thought.
She blinks. "I can leave. But it is you who has to bring me back."
"I will. I promise."
She pauses a long moment, then, with a last paw of the ground, fades from view.
A sharp pang of fear lances through me, instantly dousing my resolve. "Shit, Thyrvi, come back!" I say, and almost before she's faded, she's solidifying again.
"That wasn't so bad," she says, and I let out a relieved laugh.
"I'm not sure you actually went. I'm sorry, I panicked."
She lifts her head proudly. "I have that effect on people."
"Indeed. Try again."
She fades away, and this time, I turn to the stairs. Harald is already at the base, watching in fascination. We begin to climb, in silence at first, but halfway up he says, "Thyrvi?"
"Shit. I keep saying it in front of people."
"Well, given that you're actually conversing with her, I'm not surprised. Perhaps with this new wave of val-tivars , we will all know each other's creature's names. After all, we can all see them now. Why the secrecy?" He shrugs and turns to meet my eye, his own sparkling with enthusiasm. "I believe it's time for change."
As soon as we are at the top and on the wide path, I call Thyrvi by her name. I don't overthink it. I don't try to pull on some unseen cord. I don't do anything the books told me to do. I just… call her.
"Thyrvi, you can come back now."
She appears instantly, and I grin broadly at her.
"See? Easy."
"Hmph," she says.