Chapter 21 #2
My resolution came as we neared Azurill’s wing, and the sound of barking filled my ears. My head tilted, curious, as we made our way into his family’s wing.
Alfrikr led us deep within it, making me vaguely uncomfortable. I’d assumed he’d meet us at the entrance, but apparently not. Instead, I was treated to the gorgeous blue and silver interior as we passed through.
The barking finally stopped, and I heard a voice before we rounded the corner and stumbled upon a woman kneeling before a multicolored dog, petting it lovingly as its tongue flopped out of its mouth happily.
The dog’s fur was a sparkling blue and green, with bits of silver, which indicated a mixed breed from what little I knew.
I was used to street dogs, after all. But I always relished any time I was able to get one to trust me enough to cuddle.
This one looked like it might be a cross between a diamond-dust and an emerald-beryl breed.
Its long ears flopped adorably to the side, and its long fur shook as the woman petted it.
Her sapphire blue hair was down to her waist, not done up at all for court, and her eyes looked…
weary, was the only word I could use to describe it.
The fabric of her silver dress wrinkled a bit as she stooped down to pet the excited animal.
Our entrance caused her to look up, her lips twitching as if she wanted to smile, but couldn’t. The weariness in her eyes seemed to extend to her entire being.
“Queen Mother.” Alfrikr bowed, and I quickly followed his action in surprise.
This was Azurill’s mother?
I looked her over critically, seeing nothing of the queen before me, merely a worn woman who’d lost something vital to her spirit.
Her son, I realized in a rush. Azurill’s grief over his brother had been clear, and watching the woman before me, I didn’t doubt that she grieved fiercely for her lost child. One of her three boys, now gone forever.
I tried desperately not to think about how what I planned to do would affect her.
“Queen Mother.” I reiterated, lagging slightly behind Alfrikr in my shock.
“Alfrikr, darling, you needn’t be so formal here.” She tried to smile again and failed.
“I do around this one.” He winked at the queen mother, nudging me in the process. I rolled my eyes before I could stop myself, but the woman finally managed the slightest smile in response, so I considered that a victory at least.
“Ah, yes.” She took a step toward us, the dog rolling back over to his feet now that his mistress had abandoned him. “This must be Lady Jacinth.”
“That would be me.” I smiled, nerves fluttering in my stomach for some reason.
“You were quite a surprise to many of us,” she mused, inspecting me shamelessly.
“Well, that’s me, surprising.” I shrugged, not sure how to respond to Azurill’s mother of all people.
My flippant words made her smile more prominent, however, and as the dog at her feet trotted over to us, ignoring Alfrikr and making its way straight to me, she watched curiously.
The dog nudged my leg, so I leaned down to pet her, smiling to myself at the simple joy of not having to fake my pleased reaction to the friendly dog.
Its head butted against me again, but this time in pure pleasure as my fingers scratched along her head, making her pant in happiness.
“Well, I can’t say I’ve ever seen Neasa so enthusiastic about a stranger before.” Azurill’s voice made my head snap up, my hand falling still on the dog’s head as I looked up. The dog’s—Neasa, apparently—petulant whine had my fingers digging back into her fur.
“She’s beautiful,” I told him quietly—honestly, which had to be a first between us. I loved mixed-breed dogs, seeing how the different gem combinations turned out in them. It was so much like the alchemy we used to make our potions, as if dogs were their own kind of magic.
“She’s spoiled,” he countered, raising a brow as he watched me relent to the dog’s demands.
I blushed lightly, but Azurill laughed quietly, patting his thigh softly.
Neasa quickly abandoned me to rush to Azurill.
He knelt down and let the dog headbutt him as he ran his hands up and down her body in quick, rough pats that the canine seemed to love.
“That’s because you spoil her, dear.” His mother interjected, a fond look on her face. “You always have.”
“And who could blame me?” he asked, as the dog licked up his cheek. I laughed softly, and his mother turned to look at me once more. She examined me closely, making me nervous.
“Well, you two have a date to be on.” She suddenly clapped her hands. The weary look was already beginning to reappear in her sapphire eyes. “I’m quite curious to hear where you’re taking him, based on your outfits.”
I bit my lip, embarrassed despite myself.
I looked down, but was surprised to find a finger lifting my chin back up.
Azurill’s mother stood before me, smiling softly.
“I was known to slip out from my father’s manor from time to time when I was younger.
I’d often wear such clothes to disappear among the commoners. ”
“You did?” Azurill asked, clearly bewildered, but she didn’t turn to look at him. Instead, her attention remained fixed on me.
“It’s good to get out of here every once in a while.” She winked but then sighed deeply. “Perhaps I was remiss in keeping my sons so close. I thought if I kept them in the palace, there would be no real danger, but…”
She trailed off, her eyes watering, and I couldn’t help myself from reaching out to grab her hand, squeezing lightly.
“I’m truly sorry for your loss,” I told her honestly.
It wasn’t her fault I’d lost my family, even though she gave life to the man responsible.
Even still, I couldn’t imagine losing a child.
The loss of everyone else had damaged me forever, but a child?
I was lucky I was one myself at the time and didn’t have to worry about that.
But if I ever had one…I would burn the world before I let anyone hurt them.
“The loss of those we love will always leave a hole inside of us,” I told her quietly. “But over time, the hole can be patched. Hold on to those around you, let them begin patching that hole.”
Her wide sapphire eyes looked deep into my pearl-pink ones, and she let out a shuddering sigh. Earnestly, she said, “Thank you, Lady Jacinth. Truly.”
She squeezed my hand as she continued, “You’re right. I still have two wonderful sons to love and protect. I can’t forget that.”
I could almost see as the woman, who I’d heard from rumors had been hiding from court since her middle child’s funeral, began to piece parts of herself back together. Enough to keep going. To remember who she was.
The sapphire in her eyes blazed.
I looked at her son, to see wide blue-green eyes watching us with a look I couldn’t identify.
“Now, you two should get going. You have limited time to spend together, after all.” The ghost of a smirk crossed her face, and she gathered Neasa up and kissed Azurill on the cheek, patting Alfrikr on the shoulder, before looking at me once more.
“It was wonderful meeting you, Lady Jacinth. I look forward to seeing you again,” she told me, and I blinked in surprise at the confidence in her voice that she would be seeing me again.
“You as well, Queen Mother,” I responded, eyeing Azurill in curiosity, but he quickly ushered me out, Alfrikr following along behind us.
“So, any hints as to where we’re going?” The king asked, a forced levity in his voice that told me he wanted to move past the heavy conversation with his mother.
I obliged, smirking up at him, “Not a one.”
“I should have known better.” He chuckled, shaking his head before he turned to look back at my guard, “What about you? Any hints you can spill?”
“I’m not at liberty to say,” Alfrikr smirked back at him. I laughed as Azurill’s jaw dropped, and he jokingly put a hand over his heart.
“The absolute betrayal.” He huffed, but his twinkling eyes betrayed his mirth. “You’re supposed to work for me, you know.”
“And you told me I had to assist Jacinth with this nonsense, so it’s your own fault,” he countered, raising an eyebrow at him.
I enjoyed their banter as we walked toward the palace gates, eager to see Azurill’s reaction when we arrived. I was anxious, but for what, even I wasn’t quite sure.
I had to secure Azurill’s attention, or else I risked everything being in jeopardy. I haven’t attempted to keep a man interested in me beyond one night before, so it was a novel experience. Especially when competing against some of the most beautiful women in the realm.
I didn’t have a choice now, however. If I ever wanted to experience peace, I had to win this competition and claim my prize. The thought of that bubbling, smoking potion Carnelian had shown me was both a balm and a terror.
It would be my tool of vengeance, most assuredly, but…I’d also never killed a man before.
My eyes cut to the one walking beside me. Conflicting emotions rose within me, yet I refused to bend to them. Some small measure of regret for having to kill anyone was normal, I assured myself.
But this man deserved everything he’d wrought. He did. My mouth firmed into a straight line at the thought, closing my eyes momentarily to affix the vision of my parents’ bodies in my head.
A firm reminder of why Azurill deserved to die at my hand.
Why he had to—no matter what.