20. Kyros
Chapter twenty
Kyros
My breath hitches at her confession. It's like lightning has struck behind me, pushing me forward, and I give into its power.
Everything within me is ablaze with need—for her.
A dark fire rages deep in my chest and aches to be let loose.
I see its reflection in her blue eyes, but where there used to be a fluid beauty in her irises, now it is all heat—a blue flame, mesmerizing with its piercing brilliance.
The air around us crackles, and my hands are quick to wrap around her. Securing her to me.
I’ve never felt so irrevocably and inconceivably out of control.
My hands tremble as I pull our bodies flush, fusing us together as one.
Her hands scrape across the overgrown scruff on my cheeks and dive into my hair.
Our lips collide in a frenzy of passion.
It's messy and emotional. It’s desperation and longing coalescing into everything that is us.
This kiss feels like the breath you take when you’ve held it for far too long.
The growl that builds in my throat is animalistic as I bend down, wrap my hands around her thighs, and lift her up.
Her legs wrap around my hips instantly, melting into my body as I continue to ravish her.
I break the kiss only so my eyes can devour the breathless vision of her in my arms. Her lips are swollen, cheeks reddened, and beams of sunshine stream through gaps in the clouds, creating a fan of God rays in a crown beyond her head.
My lips part as I struggle to find words for the beauty I see.
“You are—everything.” Each word is laced with an emotion I never knew I was even capable of ever delivering.
The past for both of us was dismal, and I have never looked ahead at my future as something I longed for…
but looking at her now? I want her to have everything she deserves, and I want to be everything she desires.
“I want to believe you.” She unwraps herself from me as we reach the water’s edge, and I set her on her feet.
Her fingers run along my jaw as she studies me.
Something devastating washes over her face, and I close my eyes, head bowed, too afraid that I have ruined my chances before I even knew what I was gambling with.
“I do believe you,” she continues, guiding my gaze back to hers.
“But I feel betrayed by the truth you’ve kept from me.
The pieces of my heart—they’re still sharp, some edges still bleeding and painful.
But… I can't deny what I feel for you.” Her hands slide down my neck and rest on my chest. I take both in mine while holding them in place.
“Then don’t. You think your heart is made of glass, Shula, but I’ve seen it. Your father hardened that organ inside of you long before I came along. Galvanized it to steel. Let me guide the flame that lives between us to temper it. Show the world what happens when the heart is forged in love.”
Love. Because that is what I feel for this woman. Already I feel it changing me. I’ve felt the shift since the moment I met her.
“Your heart is thundering.” She points out, and all I can do is smile. Her eyes brighten as they drop to my mouth. “You’re smiling.” I realize how little I do it anymore and how foreign it feels. But for her, I want to.
“So are you.” Her fingers leave mine and quickly press to her mouth, as though she doesn't believe it to be true. Then she traps her bottom lip with her teeth as she reaches between us, pulling on the hem of my tunic, and that smile turns wicked. Something I’ve never seen play over her face before. I narrow my eyes.
“If you keep looking at me like that—” I lick my lips with a shake of my head, eager to show her what I would like to do. She fists the fabric in her hand, pulling me closer, and I chuckle in response.
“You’ll what?” She whispers. Her husky voice only widens my grin. The playfulness in her eyes does something to me. I rip my tunic over my head.
“You have five seconds to strip, or you are going in fully clothed—and that won't be nearly as fun.” Her eyes widen as I begin kicking my boots off and tugging at the strings of my trousers.
The bell-like laugh she lets out is so surprising that my smile somehow grows impossibly wider.
The sound of it is music to my ears. Our clothing is strewn about in disarray on the small strip of rocky beach as she scurries past me.
I barely glimpse her naked form from behind before her body sinks into the water, and I am stalking in after her.
The water isn’t cold, but it’s not quite warm either.
Like a bath that had been left to stand for too long.
Invigorating. She doesn't go far, only deep enough to cover her naked body, and when she turns around, her long dark hair clings to her skin and fans out in the water.
I am barely hip deep when I watch her eyes trail up my body hungrily.
I slow down, giving her the feast she so clearly wants.
Every step closer I take the more my heart beats for her. I want her to complete her claim. I don't care about anything else. The prophecy, the past, the future—it means nothing if not with her.
“If you keep looking at me like that—” She says as I sink into the water, knees bent to her level, and she stops talking, choosing instead to suck in a sharp breath at the feel of my naked body flush with hers.
Dipping my head, I let my tongue trail from the hollow of her throat up and under her chin.
The motion makes her head tilt back. The deep breath she takes fills her lungs and presses her chest into mine.
“You’ll what, Shula?” I whisper into the skin beneath her ear, mocking her words from earlier. Her skin pebbles from the brush of my beard, and I chuckle at the reaction. Her arms wrap around my neck, and those searing blue eyes meet mine. They are heavy with emotion, adoration, and pain.
“I wish I could take away all the pain.” I say solemnly, knowing I am the cause of at least some of it. Nothing about our lives is easy, but I wish, for just one day, we could live like it was.
“I know.” She says, as a pinch forms between her brows as she searches my face. “We can't stay here.” She finally says. It sounds like an apology.
“I know.” My hand brushes the hair away from her face, causing water to run down the side of her face and neck.
I watch the drops as they join the pool between us.
As much as I want to stay hidden from our problems in this tarn with her, I know she’s right.
“If there ever was a moment I wished you were not right, it would be now.” My eyes are greedy as they take all of her in.
“I want you to tell me that one day we will get a chance to enjoy small moments alone like this, when the world isn’t falling beyond our pocket of happiness.
I want you to lie to me about that. Lie to me if only to give me hope, because I don’t—” I take her lips in mine. Cutting off the sadness in her tone.
The kiss is nothing like the one previous.
It is slow. Deliberate. Conveying every ounce of sorrow I wish to take from her.
I cradle her face in my hands and kiss her reverently.
She melts into my embrace, and I cherish every tiny noise that comes from her mouth.
Ever so slowly, reluctantly, I pull away and look into her eyes.
I don’t need to tell her how I feel. As always, her eyes show everything, and I can see right there that she already knows.
We don’t spend as much time in the water as I would have liked to.
A clandestine sunrise. A dream of hope. A singular moment of gentle contentment, and only the creatures of the tarn as witness.
We wash away the grime from the day prior and refresh our fight for the days to come, and in her eyes I feel reborn.
Even if she has not fully claimed our bond in return, I feel the twin flames have grown between us.
The sun grows in brilliance, and with its rise, the clouds begin to dissipate. Leaving a clear blue sky above us and the growing heat in the tarn allows us to dry rather quickly.
“Is your magick still depleted?” Astraea asks, and I look up from pulling my trousers on just as she turns away, pulling her tunic over her head.
Before it comes all the way down, though, I get a glimpse at those scars criss-crossing on her back.
The sight of them reminds me why I can’t merely just hide away with her.
She deserves to see the men who caused her those scars gain their own across their own miserable backs.
“There was a moment when I thought I had felt it coming back, but now I'm not sure if I was just feeling energy from you.” I pull my own tunic on, still watching her closely. The tarn, while secluded, is still not safe from the monsters who would like to hunt us.
“Can you do that? Feel energy from other people with magick?” She asks, and my brow twitches down.
I forget how little she knows of magick.
Though spurred by the thought, doubt sinks into me.
I suppose I don’t know nearly as much as I thought I did either.
Withering anger engulfs my skin in heat.
I think I understand why I was not taught all that I should have been now.
Queen Phaedra kept me only as strong as she wanted me, but never too powerful.
I only found I was able to render portals because my temper pulled it out of me, just as it did with Astraea.
Then there was the time that I inserted myself into her nightmare.
It makes me wonder just what the limits to my magick are…
“I felt something coming from you soon after I met you. It was still a mystery, though. We thought we were looking for an object, and maybe we were… The necklace you wore seems to have blocked the true extent of your magick with its own sort of energy. Now that you aren't wearing it and your magick has surfaced, I can sense enough to know you are powerful, but it’s still mysterious. I think that is actually what we were tasked to retrieve…” I tell her, but thinking about it now, it brings up the question—why?
“How do I know? If I can feel magick coming from someone? I’m scared, Kyros.
I’m terrified of this power that lives inside of me.
I know nothing about it. I don't want to hurt anyone.” I close the distance between us and pull her hands into mine.
Her eyes stay trained on them between us.
Holding both of her hands in one of mine, I cup her face, using my thumb to lift her chin to meet my gaze.
“Your magick is an extension of you, of your intent. If you don’t wish to hurt someone, I promise you—you won’t.
” She swallows hard but nods with reluctant acceptance shining in her eyes.
“I know we need to confront our problems head on, but I think it would be worth it to look further into both of our magick first. Before you portaled us here, Ruaan was telling me of a prophecy… He thinks it has something to do with you and why Queen Phaedra and, apparently, his father were after the same thing we were.” I see the worry enter her gaze, and I lean in, pressing a delicate kiss to her lips.
“I never meant to take your voice away from you.
I'm not used to caring for anyone the way I do you. Something in me just can't handle knowingly putting you in danger, but it’s something I need to work on because keeping you in the dark, I realize, is just as dangerous.” She bites her lip, and using my thumb, I pull it from between her teeth.
“I want your voice. Always.” I kiss her again, tenderly.
Pulling her hand to rest on my pounding heart.
“I want everything you are willing to give me.” Her eyes drop to my chest, and the black swirling tattoos that now lift from her skin.
They swirl like a coiling snake around our clasped hands.
I'm not afraid of her magick, though; if anything, I revel in the sight of it. To feel its cool caress? It’s like a whisper of my own, and I close my eyes as I reach within myself, searching for that elusive shadow of power.
My eyes snap open at the same time that Astraea lets out a gasp.
Our eyes clash. Hers flutter with shock and awe, and my lips part as I feel my shadows surge beneath my skin.
The markings along my arms come alive and nearly leap from my body, reaching for her, as her new magick reaches for mine, like two coiling snakes around our still clasped hands.
I watch as it shifts, merges together and heats.
A flame igniting the smoke from within, black at the core, its sinister flicker illuminates the darkness that continues to wrap us in its embrace.
Morning turns to night as the sun is blotted out by the magick, but Astraea, her eyes that are usually a vibrant blue, are a black flame, white hot and shrouded with an inky black halo.
I only hold onto her tighter. I see the worry and terror building in her at this display of our combined power, but it’s not what I feel at all.
The corner of my mouth lifts into a bemused smile.
I'm just as confused as she is about what’s happening, but I am not worried.
I’m paralyzed in awe at the beauty of it—of her.
I have never seen anything so incredible.