30. Kyros
Chapter thirty
Kyros
Phaedra killed Connard.
It had to have been her. Even though Kellan doesn’t confirm my accusation, I see the answer plain enough in his eyes.
I don’t know what pisses me off more, the fact that she got to him before me, or the realization that Phaedra has been using and manipulating me since I was only a boy.
She has continually lied to me about everything.
Even if, in a way, I was using her too, I thought we had similar interests.
As I grew and her attention changed, I had to adapt no matter how wrong it felt.
Then my eyes meet Astraea’s, and I know without a doubt that the most infuriating part is the hurt I see on her face.
Astraea doesn’t deserve any of this, and for Connard to give her even more anguish, especially in his death…
Emotion, which I’m not sure how to handle, rises from my chest and lodges in my throat.
A potent need to go to her, rip her away from all of this, but don’t.
Instead, I swallow it as I force my eyes to focus on what I can control.
“Viltarin, come help Kellan to the settee,” I command.
Grinding my teeth, I watch her hand lightly tremble over his skin in an attempt to give him comfort.
Even in his current state, I can't stand to look at him in her arms any longer than I already have. Viltarin moves immediately to take Astraea’s place, but she remains frozen there.
The same grave look on her face. Kellan seems to notice my concern and turns his head toward her.
He opens his mouth to say something, then his lips fuse together before resigning with a shake of his head, deciding only to pat her hand where it still rests on his shoulder.
“Go. I’ll be ok.” He chooses to say instead, his voice hoarse.
But I can tell it’s not what he is thinking.
His expression reflects the anger he feels toward me just as much as the anger at seeing Astraea feeling the way she is.
He feels the same as I do about seeing her hurt over the loss of her father.
Fucking Connard, that piece of shit doesn’t deserve the dirt he will rot in.
“The balms are already working.” Kellan says as he gestures to the tin jar I received from Kaeleith with his chin.
The anger in his face appears to soften before his eyes trail away from my twin flame, and he gives a nod of thanks in my direction.
My jaw twitches as I am forced to accept the fact that he cares enough for her to give me even an ounce of gratitude.
It's not easy, but I narrow my eyes and return the gesture.
Of course the old dweller would know what sort of healing balms we would need.
Unfortunately, no balm will help the loss of his eye.
There was also one for the young boy in the bag too.
The very remedy his grandmother had been trying to get him to the dweller for in the first place.
Astraea takes a step back, removing her hands from the Eathian guard and allowing Viltarin to step in and help pull Kellan to stand. They hobble over to the settee.
“Shula?” I curl my fingers under her chin, lifting her gaze to meet mine. There are no tears there, only shock.
“He’s dead.” She says quietly, her brow twitching before she blinks once.
“It seems he is.” Trying to reassure her that she is okay, my hand cups her cheek as I pull her in close. She keeps her head tilted up to keep my gaze, even if it is far off, wandering through her own mind.
“He—is dead.” She parrots, and my eyes bounce between hers, trying to read what it is she’s thinking.
“Why did the Queen—I don’t understand?” She begins shaking her head in disbelief.
My hand drops from her face as Colette comes to Astraea’s side, giving me a pitying look as she sees my clear unease.
I don’t know what to say to my twin flame, even though I can feel the pain coming off her in rippling waves.
I feel every emotion as though they are my own.
I have never experienced anything like this.
But in all of the pain, there is also an emotion I can understand: grief.
Why would she grieve someone who treated her with such vitriol?
Connard doesn't deserve any amount of loyalty grief requires from anyone, much less Astraea.
Anger is now rising through me over the pain I feel for her. Even in death he claims more from her.
“Astraea?” Colette coos, rubbing her hand up and down Astraea’s back. “Do you want to get some air?” Colette’s voice seems to shake her out of the catatonic state she had been stuck in, and she blinks twice before looking at her best friend.
“Kyros,” Rowan calls out, never having left the chair.
His nose is still deep in the pages of the tome I gave him, but then he looks up and our gazes lock.
I can tell through the set of his jaw that it’s time we talk.
Rowan may be all about knowledge, books, and getting his dick wet most of the time, but he is fiercely loyal to Runerth and the Neer people—to me.
I know that what has happened here has brought out a side of him not many know.
Before Rowan took up residence in Aithne, he had a reputation just as I do.
I see that side of him breaching the surface of his cool facade now, and I have a feeling the words in that book have only added to it.
“It’s ok. I’ll be ok.” Astraea says as I look back at her, and I search her face as my hands take hers. I don't want to leave her, but I need to know what it is that Rowan has uncovered.
“I’ll be right here with her.” Colette says, and I look up to see the promise written in her eyes. I nod, first at Colette, then at Astraea. I can see how exhausted she is in the darkness under her eyes. Honestly, I feel the same. We were almost too late.
“You’re sure?” I ask, and she nods with her brows drawn together as she sweeps the dimly lit room.
“I won’t be far. If you so much as raise your voice, I will be right back by your side.
” Astraea’s gaze drops down at our hands clasped out in front of us.
She watches the way my thumb steadily makes sweeping passes along the back of her hand before she squeezes and looks up to meet my eyes once again.
“I’m sure.” She says again, and I hesitate only a moment before finally, although reluctantly, turning away from her. “Kyros?” She calls, and I stop in my tracks, looking back at her. “Thank you.”
I can’t help it. I turn fully around, and in two strides I am lifting her chin and kissing her in the center of this tiny and overcrowded room.
It’s deep and passionate and far too short, but I want her to know just how much I care.
She doesn't need to thank me. I want her to feel that flame that lives between us—within each of us.
Let its fire lick the inner cage of our chests and light our souls ablaze.
I want her to always understand that no matter what happens, she is never to question my feelings for her.
Caring for her is the minimum when it comes to all that I will do for her.
The room is silent as we finally break apart, our eyes locked within each other.
“I’ll be right back.”
“I know.” She bites her lip, and I can't help but lean in. I press my thumb to it, pulling it from between her teeth, and I kiss her one more time. The kiss is chaste, and already I’m longing to wrap her back in my arms. Fuck.
For a moment I felt like my lungs could finally fully expand.
Even just a moment in her embrace brought my mind to calm.
Stepping away, the weight of the danger that remains presses in.
And that’s it, isn’t it? Until we can put an end to all of this, we can only ever have just moments together.
My eyes flick between hers as I try not to think about the very real possibility that this could be all we have; small moments of stolen time.
I focus on my breath and exhale slowly. I need to find out what Rowan knows.
As much as it pains me to turn away from Astraea right now, I know I have to.
Not only that, but every step we take toward the answers is another step toward getting Mavros back.
Something I have never forgotten. Finding out what Rowan has learned from the book could change everything and finally give us answers for what we are up against. I turn away and face him.
“Let’s take a walk.” I say to Rowan. My jaw ticks as I wrench open the door, and I feel the others watching our interaction and subsequent exit.
I pause after Rowan walks outside; halfway through the door, my fingers curl tightly around the wood, and I look back inside.
All their eyes are trained on our departure with varying emotion.
I allow myself a moment to study each one and decide then that this is a conversation that is needed between more than just Rowan and me.
“Beckett, keep an eye on them. Ensure they have protection and get Colette anything she needs to aid Kellan’s healing.
” I say firmly. Colette dips her head in thanks, even as worry finds its way into her eyes.
Beckett nods, content to receive the order from me and keep himself busy.
My gaze sweeps to the other two men in the room.
“Come with us.” I demand, my gaze shifting between them.
“Both of you.” Ruaan and Viltarin look at one another before both rising to their feet and filing out the door.