35. Astraea
Chapter thirty-five
Astraea
Every passing moment since I opened my eyes today has been a frenzy of chaos.
I still haven't had a second to process the dream I was ripped away from. The frenzy of never-ending chaos that is my life makes it feel as though now the dream was ages ago, not just hours. Exhaustion gnaws at the edges of my mind. As hard as I try, I still can’t recall the woman's face.
Anxiety feels like it has burrowed into the very marrow of my bones, and with every moment that Kyros is away, it only grows.
“Stop fidgeting with it!” Cole scolds Kellan, and he grumbles as he pulls at the fabric covering his eye.
“It itches.” He complains, his tone sharp as a blade.
His good eye lands on me, and I give him a small smile and shrug.
Cole is right; he needs to leave it alone.
If he doesn't, it could get infected if it isn’t already.
“Taking her side, I see.” He sighs, and the darkness under his eye almost seems to get darker with the exhaled breath. He’s been through so much.
“I'm sorry, Kellan. This is my—” I reach for him, but he twists so my hand never lands.
“Don’t you say it.” He shakes his head. “This is not your fault, Astraea. This is the brutality of those who should not have the power they hold. Nothing about what happened to me is your fault.” He says it heavily, and the words just sink to the bottom of my stomach.
I know this was my father’s doing—before he died.
I'm sure it was one of his last orders as King of Eathian.
Torture a man who has suspected allegiance to his petulant daughter.
Kellan doesn't have to say who it was for me to know.
He refuses to tell me who did this to him, and that is confirmation enough.
Cole has tried too, but still he refuses.
What I do know is that if it weren't for him, we would still be in the dark about what is happening in Eathian. The most important being that Mavros and Zinya are there. He may have temporarily stopped my heart when telling us of my father’s death, but he sure as hell restarted it by giving us even a fraction of hope.
We will get Mavros and Zinya back to us.
I take a deep breath as I pat my chest, checking my holster for likely the tenth time in the last few minutes before turning my gaze to the front door again.
The anxiousness feels like the hum of energy that filters through the air before a desert lightning storm.
Alive and coiled, ready to burn white hot.
I hear them before I even realize my feet have carried me to the door.
Wrenching it open, I'm met by a determined hazel gaze that I've become familiar with.
“We ran into a little bit of a problem.” Ruaan says with a scowl as he pushes through the door. The rock in my stomach drops more than I thought possible. My eyes immediately jump behind him, searching for the darkness that is my twin flame.
“It’s Beckett.” He continues, shouldering past me and opening the door more. Viltarin and Rowan hold Beckett up, one of his arms around each of their necks. It doesn't take long for me to see what the problem is.
The blood that drenches Beckett's lower half drips across the wood floor as they carry him inside.
My skin turns ice cold as I see him. Divine, what the hell happened?
Kyros is a dark shadow as he walks in next.
His hulking figure slower than usual as he follows behind them, but then I see why.
All color drained from his face, and crimson stains caked with dirt cover his lower half and both of his hands.
My blood soars with worry as I rush to his side.
“Are you okay?” I scan his body for injury. Grab his hand and pull it to my chest as I search his eyes for the answer. “Kyros?” I whisper. He only briefly looks down at me.
“I failed him. I can't fail again, Shula.” I cup the side of his face, desperately trying to get him to see me.
The blank eyes that look back at me are unseeing, and the catatonic state doesn't match the scene playing out. It’s not Kyros at all.
It's not devastation, not sadness, or defeat.
Stone-faced, his voice is cold and detached as he looks past me to where they are rendering aid on Beckett.
Rowan meets his eyes, looking first away to Beckett and then up to me. He blames me for this.
“ARRRhhh—that fucking hurts!” Beckett calls out.
Kyros takes my hand and pulls me into the room to stand at his brother's side. “Fuck, don’t look at me like I’m just up here dying.
It's—OW!” He reaches out for Colette's hand as she rubs more of the balm from Kaeleith over the wound, but Kyros grips his wrist before he can.
“You need it, or we will be looking at you lying on a pyre instead. Stop. Moving.” Kyros growls down at Beckett.
I don't look to see Beckett’s reaction to the harsh words.
My gaze instead remains trained on the side of Kyros’ head and the sudden anger he is projecting.
What happened out there? My brows cinch together as my thoughts begin to spiral, and almost instinctively, Kyros turns to look at me.
“We’re out of time. As soon as he can stand, we have to leave. ”
The portal snaps shut behind us, and it feels as though the world shifts beneath my feet at its closure.
Diemos’ mid-morning sun is hidden behind a layer of thick cloud cover, but it still brightens the sky in a stark white glow.
At least the chill from the last time I was here is gone.
It’s even bordering on warm already. Kyros’ words still echo through my mind.
“We’re out of time.” I’ve felt as though my time ran out a long time ago; now every breath I take in this nightmare of a life is stolen from the Gods.
Every time I think I have a handle on the things life has thrown at me, there is a new storm to weather.
If I have to keep stealing them, I will because I feel like I’ve finally found my reasons for wanting to.
The bond I have with Kyros and the family I’ve chosen with Colette and the others.
As if he can sense my thoughts, Kyros presses his hand to the small of my back, and his lips follow at my temple.
Silently, I lean into his embrace and steel my spine for what's to come.
The soldiers back in Aithne said that the Queen had remained in Eathian.
So… according to Kyros, Diemos should be easy for us to assume command over.
It still seems far-fetched to me that the Queen would leave her home unprotected, though.
Regardless, at least having this tiny moment of calm allows me to exhale and feel safe, even if for just a breath.
“Are you sure you’re ok?” I ask Kellan as he limps up to my side. Kyros looks him over before giving him a quick nod, then turns his attention to the group joining us from the portal that Ruaan opened.
“For the hundredth time, yes, Astraea. I’m up walking around.
I will be fine.” He sighs, but I see the look behind his eye he's trying not to show.
He won't talk about what he went through at the palace.
He shuts down any attempt, but if he's here… and in the condition he was in… It can only suggest one of two things: He was fighting for his family’s survival or to avenge their deaths.
Considering the shadows etched into his face, my guess is the latter, and as much as I want to apologize for failing him, I know it would just reopen wounds that have yet to heal. I won't do that to him.
“Just because you are up walking around doesn’t mean you are ok. I know from experience.” I say just as Colette comes to a stop beside us. She gives us both a tight, sad smile, reaching up and squeezing both of our arms.
“Come on. We don’t have to reminisce on the fucked up shit we’ve had to endure. Let’s dwell on the fucked up shit we still have ahead of us,” she continues in a sing-song tone, and I can’t help but quirk an eyebrow at her.
“Wow, what an optimist.” Ruaan interjects with a sideways look in Cole’s direction.
She scoffs, but I don’t miss the way her cheeks tint pink at the Pyraxian Prince’s attention.
She tucks her hair behind her ear, and out of the corner of my eye I see Viltarin silently watch the exchange.
That is until he takes notice that I saw, and suddenly he becomes very busy adjusting the straps on his baldric.
“I need everyone here now.” Kyros motions for the group to gather around him.
“Let’s go over this again. I need to ensure everyone was paying attention and knows the plan,” Kyros says calmly yet with clear control.
Not even Ruaan has something smart to retort with.
Kyros looks at each of us before continuing, “We’ll enter through the tunnels beneath the city.
I want everyone with their partners like we discussed.
This is for your safety as much as it’s for my peace of mind.
Diemos won't ask questions first, I can promise you that.” Kyros takes up the front of the group, and everyone’s attention is completely focused on him.
He continues to prove that this is what he was meant to do.
Lead. A constant reminder of what my father tried to steal from him.
He strides through the small throng of people and takes my hand in his as though sensing my thoughts veering back to something I can’t help.
“I want you close to me,.” He growls; his dark eyes are a storm of shadow.