Chapter Nine
Barr accepted a cup of tea from Cate, and when their fingers brushed, heat tingled up to his elbow and interest shivered into his shaft. How could he want her again so soon after what they’d just done as well as his age? But there it was, unable to be ignored.
He nodded his thanks and gladly took a sip of the hot beverage while his mind spun.
I fucked the woman I hired to translate a book.
What the hell was wrong with him? Dukes didn’t act as if they were six deprived degenerates, and especially not after a few days within meeting a new woman.
Perhaps he needed to call for his physician.
Surely, there must be something wrong with him.
Suddenly, the silence became deafening. “Tell me about your hopes for the future. Do you have dreams you wish to meet?”
“Oh.” Cate’s eyebrows rose with surprise.
That same emotion reflected in her eyes.
“To be honest, I haven’t thought that far ahead.
What with working at the lending library and then helping Papa with his research, I find myself lost quite a bit during the year.
” She tapped a fingernail against the side of her porcelain cup.
“If I have the chance, I would like to travel. It doesn’t matter where; I just need somewhere to start.
But ideally, I’d adore visiting the places I’ve read about around the world that I come across in research. ”
“Now that my children are grown and having their own lives, I, too, would like to travel. Especially after spending years collecting and then selling first editions.” At least they had that in common.
“In fact, I’ve long thought that sponsoring a dig in Egypt would be fascinating work.
Can you imagine what we could find beneath the sands of time? ”
“It’s incredible to think about,” she said with shining eyes at the possibility.
“My father has a colleague who has discovered a Roman pavement on his country estate. It’s made Papa mad with jealousy, but finds like that are popping up everywhere.
It’s as if the world is hovering on the edge of another Great Enlightenment.
” She set her cup into its saucer then laid them both on the low table in front of her.
“With each find, the possibility of history changing is upon us, and that can only be good as we work to understand the world better.”
In his mind’s eye, he saw himself working alongside Cate in a far-flung, sunny locale as they pored over pottery shards and ancient scrolls. Was that the future he wanted? At the moment, he couldn’t say.
“When you think about the travel aspect, would you do that as a married woman?” It was bad form of him to ask, but he burned with curiosity.
“I suppose if I met a man I rubbed on well enough with, and if he were to ask for my hand, I might marry.” When she shrugged, she gave him a rueful grin. “Of course, that would assume I’d fall in love with a man who had a bit of coin to his name.”
There was no expectation in her eyes and no hint in her voice, which was remarkable after what they’d just shared not a half hour past.
“That would help things along, hmm?” Once he drained the contents of his teacup, she offered to refresh it, and he gladly accepted.
As she poured out, Cate asked, “What of you? Where do you see your future going since your children are grown and one is already married? Will you keep yourself to this townhouse and wait about until you can bounce a grandchild on your knee?”
“Ha!” While he thought over his answer, Barr put another couple of seed cakes onto his plate. “I’m not certain if my son and his wife wish to have children right away, but only time will tell. As for me, I mean to continue my renovations.”
“While that is well and good, they won’t last forever. What will you do after that?”
He shrugged. “Start in on repairs to Scarborough Hall?” Then he couldn’t help but laugh. “In all seriousness, some of those have already been set into motion, especially since my mother resides there and I want to make her last years easier.”
“Will you move out there permanently?”
“Oh, I think not. While I adore the wildness of Cornwall and being so close to the sea, London has my heart, and I need to remain close due to parliament and my causes, but should the weather clear next summer, I’d like to make the journey.”
“I’m sure your son will be happy to see you.
” She nibbled on a jam tart. When a dollop of blackberry jam stuck to the corner of her mouth, he knew a mad urge to kiss it away, but she caught it with the tip of her tongue, and he could breathe again.
“Do you think you’ll marry again, perhaps have a second family? ”
Another difficult question to answer. Barr heaved out a sigh.
“I don’t know. While I’ll admit, the lure of having the companionship of a second wife is strong, I am not certain I would want children at this stage of my life.
If I indeed wished to travel, I wouldn’t want to put my pregnant wife or young children through the rigors of such. ”
“That’s understandable.”
He nodded, watched her finish off the jam tart. “Do you want children?”
“Oh, heavens.” A tinkling sort of laughter escaped her. “At my advanced age? I’m not certain that is even possible.”
For a woman of her age, she had much still to learn. “It is. My wife died in childbirth at an advanced age. Both she and the babe perished five years ago.”
“Ah, I’d wondered how she died.” Briefly, she touched his arm, and another few intense tingles shot up to his elbow. “I’m so sorry. That must have been a difficult time.”
“It was.” He nodded. “The pregnancy was unexpected because we assumed age would have prevented that.”
“That is one of those things much more study and research is needed upon.” With a frown, Cate shook her head.
“Yet since women are often overlooked in a myriad of reasons, I don’t see that happening any time soon.
” She took a sip of tea. “But for me personally? I don’t even know if my body can achieve such a state, truth to tell.
Both of my affairs didn’t result in a pregnancy, even if there was a bit of a fright once. ”
How interesting. “But if it did? If this one does?” He hated himself for asking, but he couldn’t help it. The connection between them was spilling into other aspects of his life that went far beyond the carnal.
“Oh, Barr, I don’t know. It would depend on many things, I suppose, but I don’t wish to talk about that right now.
” When her lips turned down with a frown, he wanted to do nothing more than kiss her cares and worries away.
“And I don’t wish to become an obligation.
There is nothing flattering or welcome about that. ”
“Fair enough. Then let us finish tea and move on to decorating.”
She nodded. “Thank you.”
Yet why did the idea of calling the woman beside him his wife keep bouncing around his head all of a sudden?
*
Despite what Cate had told the duke, now that the euphoria from the coupling had faded, worry came to take its place, for there had been no efforts to prevent a possible pregnancy.
While he placed a few evergreen boughs on some shelves, she nestled tin bells and glass balls within the greenery.
If she did find herself increasing, no doubt the duke would offer out of obligation or a sense of duty.
She didn’t want a husband in that way. It seemed like cheating, and she meant what she said.
She would have a husband for love or not at all.
But if she was pregnant, she’d be shunned from society, to say nothing of losing her position at the lending library.
Her father’s academic aspirations would be shattered.
They would have to leave London, and he would probably forfeit his professorship at Cambridge.
Was an affair worth that, even if the duke was handsome, intelligent, and quite skilled?
“Never say you are woolgathering while decorating.” Amusement threaded through Barr’s voice as he put a wad of red velvet ribbons into her hands.
“I apologize. There is much on my mind just now.” She tied some of the bows to the greenery he’d already placed. Then she peered at a few tin soldiers he’d tucked within the branches. “These look old and quite loved.”
He nodded and was a bit misty-eyed. “Those belonged to my son from when he was a boy. There was nothing more he adored for a few years than playing with his soldiers and enacting battles.” With a shake of his head, he sent her a grin.
“If I’m remembering correctly, he also had a few cannons, an artillery wagon, a supply wagon, as well as sets of both English and French military units.
For the life of me, I have no idea what happened to most of those toys. These are the ones that remain.”
“Perhaps he took them with him. It’s sweet that you remember him each year with the decorations.” Seeing him in a more vulnerable state than he’d been before allowed her a glimpse of another aspect of his life. “Even though he can’t be here specifically, he’ll be here in spirit.”
“Indeed. I didn’t realize how much I would miss them during this time of the year.”
The emotion in his voice tugged at her heart.
“Surely this wretched weather won’t last forever.
Roads will dry out and travel will once more be accomplished with relative ease.
” As she spoke, Cate closed the distance between them.
She laid a hand on his arm. “If you are this affected, imagine how your children are as well. This is probably one of the first times they have been away from home—either here or Cornwall—and that will mean next year, you’ll have them underfoot. The reunion will be all the sweeter.”