Chapter 60 Isi
ISI
Ipadded to the door. Cracking it open enough to peer through, I found Lexie leaning against the doorframe, her eyebrows arched.
“I know you’re busy,” she drawled, her eyes twinkling. “At least, I hope you’re busy.” Her gaze drifted over my disheveled hair and flushed cheeks, a smirk playing across her lips.
I stepped into the hallway, pulling the door nearly closed behind me. “Is everything alright?”
She studied me, her teasing smile softening into something warmer. “If you’re not in love with him yet, you’re doing a terrible job of pretending.”
“I do love him.”
She hugged me. “So happy for you both.” Her smile grew. “Should I start calling you my queen now, or wait until you two make it official?”
I shook my head, unable to hold back my grin. “Stop.”
“You’re so gone for him and I’m thrilled about it. But I came here to deliver a letter, not interrupt. Though if I have to bow, I’ll gladly do so, my queen.”
She produced a folded parchment from her pocket, sealed with plain wax.
“One of the guards said it was sent by courier,” she said as she passed it to me. “I told him I’d deliver it to you.” Her eyes flicked to the door. “I figured you might not want to be disturbed by anyone else. You two deserve this time together.”
I took it from her, noting it had been addressed to Isi Barlowe. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” She squeezed my arm. “Try to find some time to sleep while you’re at it.”
“You too. No keeping Derren up late.”
She snorted. “It’ll be the other way around.” Turning, she strode down the corridor, disappearing around the corner.
I stepped back inside and secured the lock.
Trew hadn’t moved, and his broad chest still rose and fell softly. I stood by the door for a moment, the letter clutched in my hand, watching him.
Instead of joining him, I stepped into the bathing chamber, closing the door behind me. The room had cooled, though water remained in the tub. I sat on the stone bench where we’d made love the night before and laid the letter on my thighs.
Commander Thorne’s handwriting.
I stared at it for a very long time, tempted to toss it into the fire.
I already had everything I wanted. Why did I need to open this and read what he had to say?
But my fingers were already breaking the seal, the release of the wax a sharp snap in the quiet chamber.
I unfurled the parchment, revealing seven words in stark black ink.
Addie’s alive.
She’s in your father’s dungeon.
The room tilted.
The words didn’t make sense. They couldn’t. My mind tripped over them, rejected them. Alive? No. No! I’d seen her body. Stood sobbing while her pyre burned. I’d screamed in my bed that night until my throat bled.
My thoughts tangled with her laugh, the sound of her voice saying, don’t let this life break you, Isi.
But I had. I’d let grief shape every choice I made.
My chest seized. I pressed the heel of my hand against it, trying to breathe. If this was a lie, it was a cruel one. But if it wasn’t…
Then every day I’d spent here, every smile, every kiss, every promise I’d whispered to Trew, was built on her suffering.
I’d swear the ink bled straight into my veins. Seven words, and the ground I’d built beneath my feet crumbled.
I read it again.
And again, each time hoping the words would rearrange themselves into something that didn’t shatter my world.
Addie. The sister I’d mourned. The sister whose murder had driven me to this court to find revenge.
Alive.
Imprisoned by our father.
And with that truth, every breath I’d taken since her funeral turned into a lie.
The parchment slipped from my numb fingers, floating to the floor. My knees hit the stone next, the pain distant compared to the agony tearing through my chest. A sound escaped me, not quite a sob, not quite a scream, muffled by my fist as I pressed it against my mouth.
Addie. Was. Alive.
All this time, she’d been locked away. Suffering. While I’d bonded with Pherin. While I’d found love. While I’d believed her body had burned in a funeral pyre.
Tears slid down my cheeks, and I fell onto my side, curling tight, protecting the bleeding wound in my heart that had been ripped open. Each breath came short and hard, my vision blurring until the light fractured into a thousand golden shards.
Grief twisted, hardening into something darker, hotter.
Followed by rage. It coursed through my veins, burning away the shock, leaving only clarity behind.
My father had not only stolen my sister from me, but he’d also made me believe she was dead.
He’d let me mourn her. He’d watched me nearly break.
I dug my fingernails into my palms and forced myself upright, every muscle quivering with my fury. I snatched up the letter and read it again to confirm I hadn’t imagined it.
“He stole my sister,” I whispered to the empty room, my voice cratering. “He will not steal her life.”
I stood, wiping my face with trembling hands, forcing my breathing to steady.
I knew what I had to do. I’d always known, somehow, that my past would come for me. That this fragile happiness was too precious to last.
Sitting on the cold floor for a long time, I watched the firelight flicker across the walls, every shadow whispering what I was about to lose.
I could stay. I could crawl back into bed, into his arms, and pretend I never saw the letter. Come morning, we’d laugh over breakfast again. He’d kiss me until all I could do was smile.
I could have the life we’d promised each other with each look and stroke of our fingers.
But Addie’s eyes haunted me. The memory of her twirling her skirts out in the foyer, the way she’d always stood up to our father’s wrath when I cowered. The way she’d told me I was stronger than I believed.
She would do what was needed without hesitation.
She already had.
Love didn’t always mean staying. Sometimes it meant walking straight into the dark so they didn’t have to.
When I stepped back into the bedchamber, the sight of Trew nearly broke my resolve.
He’d turned, one arm outstretched across the space where I should be, as if he was seeking me even in sleep.
His face appeared relaxed, younger somehow without the weight of kingdoms and war pressing down on him.
His dark lashes cast shadows across his cheeks in the dying firelight.
I paused, memorizing every line of him. The scar that curved along his collarbone. The way his hair fell across his forehead. The steady rise and fall of his chest. Love swelled in me so powerfully it threatened to bring me to my knees.
“I love you,” I whispered, too softly to wake him. “I would raze the world to keep you safe. And that is why I have to leave you.”
I moved to the edge of the bed, stretching out my hand but stopping above his cheek. I wanted to touch him, to feel his warmth one more time. But if I did, I would never find the strength to go. How could I leave if I touched him now?
And if I didn’t leave, Addie would die.
So I let my fingers drift a hairsbreadth from his skin, tracing his features without contact, an almost-touch that would have to sustain me.
Then I left his room.
Inside my chambers, I sat on the bed and composed a note for him. He’d wake and I’d be gone, and I didn’t want him to think I’d left him.
Trew,
There’s something I have to do, and I’m asking you to trust me while I do it. To wait for me. To still love me when I come back and hold out my arms.
I love you. I’ll always love you.
I promise I’ll return to you soon.
Isi
After laying the note on my pillow, I dressed quickly, pulling on my pants and his tunics. It smelled of him, cedar and that indefinable scent that was uniquely his. If I couldn’t take him with me, I would take this. My armor, my shroud, my promise to come back as soon as I could.
I grabbed only essentials: weapons, a purse of coins, clothing, then hesitated and tucked in the book he’d given me, the one about the Skathes, and the cinderhawk feather Trew left for me long ago.
I folded the letter from Commander Thorne and tucked close to my heart.
As I slung my pack over my shoulder, a familiar peep rang out from the windowsill.
Pherin she flew to my shoulder. When she landed, her tiny head tilted in question.
“I have to go,” I said. “Don’t you see? I’m the only one who can save Addie. My father took her. I raised her after our mother died. We’re all the other has left that matters.”
Pherin cheeped, her wings fluttering.
“If Trew finds out why I left, he’ll follow. And if he follows, my father will kill him. So I have to make sure he can’t come after me.”
Her tiny claws tightened on my shoulder, and I sensed her stubborn refusal to be left behind. When I opened my mouth to protest, to tell her it was too dangerous, she bristled, every feather standing on end.
And you won’t be in danger? was how I read her indignant posture.
“My father loves me.”
Or did he? How could you love someone and lie to them like he did to me?
“He won’t hurt me,” I said, needing to believe it was true. Otherwise, how could I walk directly into the fire? “I’ll sneak in and free her. A day or two, and we’ll be on our way back to Syllavar.”
She bumped her head against my cheek, a gesture of solidarity so small yet so fierce it nearly undid me. Come with. Need.
More than ever.
“Are you sure?”
I swore she scowled.
“Alright,” I whispered. “We’ll fly for her together. But once we’re there, you need to stay hidden. Promise me.”
She just tilted her head, watching me.
Bag in hand, I left my room.
In the hush of the castle, I thought I heard him stir. Maybe it was just a fire settling. Maybe it was his voice, soft and sleepy, whispering my name.
I didn’t look back. If I did, I’d never go.
Other than the occasional guard making rounds, I found the castle corridors silent. I kept to the shadows, slipping through passages I’d memorized during my weeks here. Every step took me further from Trew, and each one felt like I was tearing out pieces of myself, leaving them behind.
My hand drifted to the letter hidden beneath my tunic. The outline of it was a reminder of what waited for me. Of who waited for me. The sister I’d mourned. The sister I’d do anything to rescue.
“For you, Addie,” I said under my breath as I slipped through the gate. “For every soul he stole. I will not fail in my mission.”
Pherin fluttered her wings where she perched on my shoulder.
“At first, he won’t understand why I have to go,” I whispered. “But one day he will.”
The night air hit my face as I hurried down the path to the lake, only pausing in the spot where I first met Trew. Where I stabbed him, even if it was an accident.
I looked back, trying to memorize the look of the castle. Trying to picture him sleeping in bed, a soft smile on his face.
Turning, I hurried down the hillside, moving swiftly across the pier to the boat docked at the end outlined only by a sliver of moonlight.
A ferryman sat on the bench, shifting with the rock of the waves lapping up onto the shore. His head lifted as I approached.
“Do you need passage to the far shore?” he asked.
“Yes please.”
My feet dragged with each step I took closer to the boat. Every inch away from the castle caused me physical pain. I glanced back, catching the towers silhouetted against the star-scattered sky. Somewhere in there, I’d left the only real home I’d ever known.
I gripped my pack tighter, steeling myself against the storm of fear and determination warring inside me.
If I didn’t save my sister, who would? We were all the other had and I would not stop until I’d rescued her.
I’m sorry, Trew. I hated stealing away in the night, leaving him without giving him a real goodbye.
He’d find my note and he’d worry, and that bothered me too.
But I had to know he was safe to be strong enough to do this.
I’d hid behind my sister for too long, letting her be the strong one, but no longer.
I had to stand tall and save her.
Addie, I’m coming. I love you. I’m sorry.
I never would’ve left if I’d known. I would’ve burned our court down to rescue her.
And now I could.
With a nod, I stepped down onto the boat. The ferryman gently waved his hand, and magic eased the boat away from the pier. We soon drifted across the water, propelled by a power I used to fear but had since embraced.
I’d left my heart with Trew.
Fates help me, but I prayed he wouldn’t wake before dawn. I’d buy a swift horse and race all the way to my court, traveling at night to keep from being seen from a dragon overhead.
As the boat coasted across the lake, I looked back one final time.
“I’ll come back to you, Trew,” I whispered. “I promise.”
Sorry about that cliffy, but what else could I do?
Isi has to find her strength.
And don’t worry, I’m a HEA girly and I promise you’re going to love the scene when they next meet up…