Chapter 17
THE CRADLE OF NYX
Seryn
Liquid iron slipped past my teeth and trickled into the back of my throat.
My eyes snapped open, sight clearing as I propped myself up on trembling elbows.
Pain flared in my ribs and singed along every joint.
Wincing, I coughed and spat blood onto the glossy stone.
When I touched my bottom lip, my fingertips came away slick with crimson.
My thighs shook as I forced myself to stand. A zap of energy met my thumb when I swiped it over my tourmaline ring. I straightened the necklace Gavrel had given me, sighing when it rested between my breasts.
Just breathe.
What horrors awaited me? Monsters? Feral animals? Other citizens?
I’d prefer beasts.
Desperation in mortals was something to fear; it sculpted humanity into wickedness. Ancients knew, someone with nothing to lose was dangerous, but someone with hope was even more so.
That’s what Gryvak was selling in this endless nightmare realm: something to dream about. But the price was your soul.
The stone floor quivered under my boots, and I crouched low, keeping my balance. In the center of the pit, the ground pulsed with an eerie glow, trails of amber threading under the surface like exposed arteries.
The heart of this realm beat chillingly slow, as if it knew there was no need to rush. It would claim whatever it wanted in its own time.
My grandmother Nyx, the Primeval of Night, had fallen here. Reverence and dread tangled within me. I knelt on one knee and let my fingers touch the cool rock.
The veins of amber crept outward, crawling up the walls until molten gold covered the rim. Then the glow sank, pooling back toward the center, leaving the glassy channels behind.
Slowly rising, I held my breath in the utter silence.
Through the channels and then up the walls, Nyxvein slithered. Black, inky swirls spilled over the brim in a wave of creeping darkness.
I backed away from the walls, nowhere to go but inward.
I knew what came next.
Just like the Dormancy pods.
Do as we were taught.
The chilled, sticky tendrils found my boots first, and I crushed my eyes closed.
Just breathe. Let it envelop your body.
Its dewy fingers slipped beneath my leathers. My fists clenched.
Don’t fight it.
Nyxvein crawled up my chin, prodded at the seam of my lips, and slithered into my nose.
Let it soak into your mind.
Breathe.
One. Two. Three—
Fuck that.
Something snapped within me. I wasn’t a terrified little girl anymore. My eyes flew open, aura igniting.
The mist recoiled briefly, but then surged back harder, pouring into the hollows of my mind until darkness swallowed sight and sound. I was being torn apart from the inside. My body arched as my fingers dug into the sides of my skull.
I was the darkness.
And I screamed. And screamed.
Memories—laden in shame, fear, and guilt—washed over me in an avalanche. The Nyxvein burrowed its talons into tender places and unearthed all of my insecurities.
My knees gave out, and my aura disintegrated.
Defeat tasted bitter.
This is how I die.
In my grandmother’s cradle.
I am nothing. This was all for nothing.
“True.”
The familiar voice cut through my despair. A figure stepped out from the shadows, draped in a tattered, white dress, auburn curls snapping like a living thing. Her cheeks were sunken; her skin the color of ash.
I scrambled backward, heels scraping.
This couldn’t be real.
She wasn’t real.
The female smiled with my mouth. “I am real. And you are nothing.”
The muscle in my chest pounded against my ribs while I pushed myself up on shaky limbs. Her words needled into the deepest corners of my being, unearthing the voices I’d buried. Thought I’d overcome.
I pulled my weapon free from its sheath. Nyxvein coiled around her fist, condensing into a hazy replica of my dagger, its edges shifting like smoke.
Her thumb caressed the pommel. “It’s no use. There’s nowhere to run.”
She was right … because how could I run from myself?
For she was some twisted manifestation of me. But her gaze was more feral. Unhinged. She looked like the version of myself I’d imagine if my freshly deceased corpse clawed its way out of the dirt and broke free of death’s grasp.
Her eyes—mirrors of my own—sparked like cerulean flames reflected in banestone. They tracked me for signs of attack, just as mine did when sparring. I raised one eyebrow, clenching my teeth. She grinned, her pallid skin stretching unnaturally around gaunt features.
And then we both lunged.
The crack of our obsidian blades rent the air. The faint roar of the crowd’s cheers broke through the veil above as we both spun away from one another, my plait whipping my cheek.
I slashed down diagonally as I faced her, and she feinted the other way, ducking and thrusting at my middle. Turning, I slammed my fist into her wrist and knocked her off course. My shoulder hit her flank, causing her to stumble briefly, but she steadied herself, boots scraping against the ground.
Her rhythm matched mine, as if she knew each move I’d make. Where my body ached the most. Where I’d attack next.
“Give up,” she hissed. “You already have.” Her dagger jabbed toward me, and I dodged to the side, the blade nicking along a rib. “You should’ve died in the Winnowing Trials.”
Bile and insecurity burned my throat.
My blade whistling through the air, I swiped my weapon sideways, but a rope of Nyxvein wrapped around her waist, pulling her back in time.
Our breathing was in sync, chests heaving as we stared at one another.
“You’re not worthy of your friends. Your sister.
Mother. Gavrel. You’d be better off dead.
Might as well save them the trouble before you get them all killed.
” Yellowing iridescence crackled around her like her aura had aged in the sun.
It didn’t glow as vibrantly as mine. “Or your ember sucks them dry.”
Logically, I knew her words were false. But the fear that lingered in the deepest recesses of my mind flared, pushing my shoulders forward.
Maybe they would be safer without me.
Images slashed through my mind: Kaden, deathly pale; Letti, left alone; Mama’s abilities exposed; Breena’s ashen face.
She sprang forward, the edge of her blade skimming past my temple as I flailed to the side just in time. My arm whipped up, smashing into hers as she swung her weapon sideways, throwing her off balance.
The Nyxvein wobbled and tugged her back once more.
Her raspy cackle split the air. “He’ll die because of you. They all will. You’re a disgusting failure.”
Another image raced through my thoughts. Gavrel’s neck craned back, bones cracking at unnatural angles. Suffering. So much suffering because of me.
A sob caught in my throat, and I blinked, hand shaking as I held it in front of me. I breathed in, replacing the vileness coating my brain.
Breathed out.
A wisp of air brushed against me, and I imagined my fated holding me, whispering words of encouragement into my ear.
You are enough.
I straightened, mouth twisting into a stubborn slash. “Enough.”
She laughed again, the sound like a cracked wind chime. “You’ll never be enough.”
She attacked, energy snapping around her.
I am you, and you are me! I screamed in my head. I wasn’t sure if I was addressing my ember or the vicious clone before me.
Both.
In an instant, my opalescence zipped over me, branch patterns blazing on my forearms as an embered orb tore from my palms. Hers met it, and for a breath we suspended a massive orbiting star between us along a crackling string of fractured light.
My power pushed against hers. Pressure built in my spine, ringing clanged in my ears, and sweat dripped down my temple.
Her feet left the banestone, Nyxvein ropes lifting her. Fear fed her. For that’s what fueled nightmares. Believing you were alone. Worthless. Broken.
But I wasn’t any of those things. I loved and was loved. My life was messy and imperfect. But it was beautiful, and it was mine.
A raw, animalistic sound ripped from me, my gift surging forward, pushing against my double’s. Her energy shuddered when mine overpowered it. Devoured it.
“You are nothing!” she howled, but the words were brittle.
She couldn’t feed on my fears any longer. The darkness would not write my story. My broken pieces laid the foundation of who I was. And something new and fierce was built upon it. Something inexcusably resilient.
She fell to her knees, her form fading.
“I am enough!” I screamed, and with one final tug, I ripped her energy away completely, unraveling her as if she were made of thousands of dark cobwebs. Her body arched, arms flung wide before exploding into a twirling billow of Nyxvein.
All of the consumed power churned within me, and I dropped to my knees, bending over. With my next breath, my ember detonated—a bloom of light that tore through the misty barrier above like a supernova.
Silence slammed into me. Then the crowd burst into a thunderous applause.
Gryvak raised his hands, but it took a few moments for the crowd to settle. He didn’t look pleased. “We have a victor. Bring her to me.” He nodded at the sizable vryka by his side.
The male descended. Evyg. The male who had bumped into me earlier.
I tried to get to my feet and ready my dagger, but exhaustion weighed on my bones.
“Now, now,” he chided. “As much as I’d love to see what you could do with that tiny blade, we don’t have the time. He doesn’t like to be kept waiting.”
Before I could spit out any words, he scooped me up, wings beating against the air.
The world tipped, and I had no fight left to struggle.
He set me down in front of Gryvak, who looked at me like I was the soot beneath his boots. “Quite the show, pet,” he sneered.
The way he said pet reminded me of Melina. Swallowing the bile rising, I stood, brushing off my pants.
I couldn’t imagine the things he’d done to her and countless others. But sympathy had no place here.
“My prize.” I met his steely gaze. “The Shadowvault Amulet.”
His laugh was brittle. “How auspicious you are.”
My voice rose so that most of the crowd could hear it, my words echoing across the expanse. “Does the victor not get their wish granted?”
The citizens cheered, the sound bubbling over.
Gryvak’s features fell, and his gray eyes darkened. The corner of my lips curled. His twitched. I had a feeling that, if we were alone, I’d already be bleeding. But we weren’t, and he was a man who needed control.
The corner of his eyes crinkled. “Of course, but the amulet is a rare prize indeed. I keep it close, but it requires something more—equally valuable—in exchange for me parting with it.”
My eyes narrowed. “Which would be?”
With a victorious look, he snapped his fingers, and a female brought forth a small rose gold box. She placed it in my hand. I ran my finger over the etching of a droplet with the moon phases circling it before clicking it open.
Black satin cradled the teardrop-shaped banestone, smooth and dark as night. A pair of rose gold threads crisscrossed at the top and then wrapped down either side, not touching the stone. The crystal was suspended between the metal; an ebony tear trapped for eternity.
“I hear that my fated is in the Nether Void. I want her brought to me before the next Dormancy.”
One of my eyebrows lifted at his statement. It would be fitting justice for Melina … to have to return to the male who made her. The one she murdered. I wasn’t sure I’d be able to deliver, but I needed the amulet and would be far from this realm if we succeeded regardless.
“Deal.”
He stared at me for a moment, his eyes too intense, trying to pick me apart, before nodding to the necklace.
A fleeting look of interest flickered over Gryvak’s face when I fastened the necklace around my nape. The stone heated and vibrated against my sternum. He was likely calculating how he could use me. How he could keep me.
He knew I was unique.
But I realized it as well.
I was more.
Not only because of my ember, but because I was a survivor.
If he or any other monster came for me, I wouldn’t be caged so easily.
I would keep fighting until every last nightmare was nothing but a bad dream that faded with the sunrise.