Chapter 32
WAKE UP
Seryn
My legs were trapped. I kicked my feet, panic flitting through my limbs. The rustle of layered fabric calmed me when I realized I was still wearing the dress from my parents’ Kollao ceremony.
My tongue was sandpaper, throat so dry it was about to split. I sat up, pain slicing across my brow. The rickety bed creaked under my weight as I shook my head and rubbed my eyes, which apparently were also made of sand. I slumped onto the bed, crushing my eyelids closed to shut out the light.
“Ser, take it slow,” a soft voice said.
I must have smashed my brain in because I swore I heard my sister.
“When has she ever taken anything slow?” another voice retorted.
All right. I was hallucinating Yaya now.
Just open your fucking eyes, I snapped within myself. A chorus of gilly toads and crickets undulated on a damp breeze that caressed my exposed skin.
Images flit through my mind, dread sinking into my stomach.
My parents.
Phobetor.
The Epiales Tombs.
Gavrel.
“Gavrel!” I bolted up, ignoring my aches.
“Whoa—steady,” Letti scolded, pressing a cup of water into my hands.
Tears blurred my vision. My grandmother stood behind my sister, hands propped on her hips. Her intricate braids and silver curls spilled over her shoulders as she smiled.
“Letti? Yaya?” I stumbled over my words. “How?”
Letti ran her hand over my forearm. “Hush now. You’re safe.” She pushed the cup closer, and I took it with shaky hands. “Drink,” she urged.
The foot of the bed dipped under Yaya’s weight.
“We’re in Helos,” she explained briskly.
“Marek and Rhaegar rallied what ravens they could, took the Draumr’s stationed here, and freed us.
Much of the Order defected when word spread of the Elders being dismantled.
Melina thought so little of Helos that she left no Akridais to defend what they’d taken. ”
Blinking rapidly, I still struggled to believe they were both here with me.
Letti nodded, smoothing a hand over my hair. “Once Melina went missing, Lucan fled to Evergryn. Declared martial law. Luckily, Xeni got Rhaegar’s harbinger starling in time, and she, Father, and I escaped to Helos before the borders closed.”
Her mention of Gideon made something twist in my stomach. I ignored it. Being near my sister only sharpened the truth: he’d never been a father to me. Stubbornly, he’d kept his distance from me for so long that he’d made sure he never resembled one.
And thinking about that made the loss of Morpheus hit harder—made me relive the moment I’d drained him.
I pushed the memory away as Yaya rested a hand on Letti’s shoulder. “And now I have both my granddaughters with me.”
My sister grinned, tapping the bottom of my cup.
I should have asked about their reunion. How Letti had felt meeting our grandmother for the first time. Told them about Mama.
Instead, I took another sip, my voice steadier. “And where do they think Ryboas fled?”
Yaya smirked. “Ah, there she is.” She patted my ankle. “Ravens spotted Ash heading toward the mountains.” She scoffed. “We’re letting him think he’s safe for now. Let him skulk about in the wilds a bit. Unlike Lucan, he’s not a problem until he gathers more followers.”
The Elders were an issue for another day. “Where’s Gavrel?” I asked again, handing my cup to my sister. She helped me stand as my knees wobbled.
“He’s in your old cabin.” Her lips pressed into a thin line. “He hasn’t woken yet.”
My feet moved before my brain could stop them. I wrestled with my dress, yanked it over my head, and let it fall where it landed.
The damp, charcoal-tinged air clung to my skin, stifling against my thin, satin shift. I stumbled across the short bridge, the wood groaning under my bare soles. All around me, the city lay in ruin, and I swallowed the furious pain clogging the back of my throat.
The attack had left its mark, not only on the people but on the city itself. Broken, scorched bones of homes gouged the gray air petulantly. Causeways shivered, their edges cloaked in char and ash.
I burst into the hut, and Kaden looked up, eyes tired. “I’ve tried everything,” he said without preamble. “I’ve healed the worst of his injuries, but my ember can’t break through whatever nightmare holds him.”
“He took the blow,” I murmured, sinking onto the edge of Gavrel’s bed. He was so damned pale. Like a shell that had been stitched together. Bandages crisscrossed his chest. Purple darkened his beautiful face as if it were a bruised fruit.
I looked at my best friend, tears welling in my eyes. “Phobetor’s attack. It was meant for me. I—”
“Stop.” Kaden shot me a look that held no patience and shoved one hand through his messy waves.
“This isn’t your fault, Ser.” He paused, brushing his hand over my shoulder.
“At least we have Phobetor and Melina contained.” With a heavy sigh, he shrugged and headed toward the door. “I’ll give you a moment with him.”
When the door clicked, tears flowed over my cheeks as if a dam had burst. I curled into the crook of Gavrel’s arm and laid my hand over his bare, bandaged chest. He was cold. So cold.
Fuck!
Once again, he’d sacrificed himself for me. And my choices had put him in the position. I’d asked him to consider the alternatives before doing such a thing, but I now knew that wasn’t fair.
There hadn’t been time to think, and without a thought, I would have done the same for him. It was who we were, and how we showed our love.
But damn him for doing so.
And damn me for constantly hurting those I loved.
Bloody void, take me. I was spiraling, my lungs grasping for air.
I inhaled and exhaled, paced my breaths with his. There was a steady thump—a faint, stubborn heartbeat beneath my palm.
My muscles relaxed.
He was alive, but his mind was trapped somewhere I couldn’t reach.
For hours, I stared at the wall, refusing to leave his side. As if my touch was single-handedly keeping his heart pumping.
The daylight crept like a living thing, slinking over the wall planks. The afternoon morphed into the twilight, its dusky hues lurking in the grains of wood.
With the subtle rise and fall of my cheek against Gavrel’s chest, I let the swamp’s melodious hum wash over me.
Let sleep claim me.
Let it guide me to him.
He stood in the center of Aion’s citadel, in the capital’s heart.
It was almost like the night we’d celebrated the Moon Ancient, rain pouring down outside, visible between the open-air columns.
The temple’s turret was open, its golden edges peeled back in a starburst to reveal a waxing moon with a crimson ring hugging its edges.
The soft thud of flowers hitting the floor echoed around us, but this time, unseen hands dropped them from above.
This time, the petals curled in on themselves in sickly, black contortions, wilted and rotting.
I ran my fingers down the burnished copper of my silk sheath dress from that night as I went to him. Not a muscle moved under his silver overcoat, but still his form glided away from me with each step.
“Gavrel,” I whimpered, hand stretching toward him. But as I reached the center, the space twisted, time elongated, and he arched away, his body lifting into the air.
As my feet met his shadow, I leaped into the air to grab hold of him, but he was just out of reach, his body limp.
“Selene!” I cried out, beseeching the moon. Begging her to forgive me for whatever transgression I’d committed. Was she punishing me like she and her lover had once been punished … forever kept apart and only able to see one another from afar?
All at once, the moon blinked out, and Gavrel plummeted, but before he crushed me, he vanished in a billow of sparkling motes.
Blinded, I waved my hands through the cloud.
Before my vision cleared, I fell to my knees, clawing at the opal.
Terrified that the taut thread pulling at my ribs would snap, that I would lose Gavrel if it did.
I crushed my eyes closed, concentrating on the golden string, and imagined clutching it so hard that it would pull me straight through the piles of dead flowers and stone. Our bond jerked in my grip, and I held tight until the temple trembled.
The ground crumbled beneath me, and weightlessness took me as I fell through time and earth and ember. Within my next breath, I landed on my bottom, my teeth clacking against one another from the jarring impact.
Nothing but darkness enveloped me. “Gavrel!” I called out, feeling the buzz along our bond.
Through the all-consuming blackness, a familiar hand reached down to help me stand, and I choked back a sob.
“No need to fret, Little Star,” Gavrel said, his dimple peeking out. He wore Marek’s overcoat, the fabric too snug on his biceps. The glint of black iridescent thread glinted along my body. I was wearing the gorgeous dress Breena had gifted me for the Moonbud Revelry.
Slowly, I rose, and Helos’ square, just like it had looked during the celebration, materialized, as if we were in the center of a painting being created stroke by stroke.
Bobbing embered orbs flickered above us, and Fated—our song now—drifted on a gentle breeze.
He wrapped his arm around my waist, taking my hand in his. “It’s been too long since we danced. You were meant to dance among the stars.” The corners of his eyes softened as his hands brushed over my face.
My fingers toyed with the hair on his nape. “I don’t want to dance among the stars unless you’re with me.”
“Always.”
I closed my eyes, trying to recall why I’d been so scared a moment ago.
There’d been something.
Something I had to do.
We swayed to the haunting melody, each note hanging on the strings that played them. Our matched pulses keeping time.
The wooden boards creaked under our feet.
There was something I needed to do, but it was just out of reach.
He spun me out slowly and then pulled me back into his embrace, kissing my forehead. “Where are you now?”
“What?” I blinked, and his image flickered, his touch fading. Fear ripped through me once more, awareness clicking into place.
My nails dug into his shoulders. “No! Stay with me, my love.”
Confusion rippled across the chiseled angles of his face; his body solidified. “I’m here. The Fates themselves couldn’t keep me from you.” He cupped my cheeks and brushed his thumbs against the apples. “My love?”
My heart thumped unevenly against my ribs, a shaky smile tugging at my lips.
Light flickered over his emerald eyes as he kissed me. Just the softest brush of his lips against mine. The cord connecting us hummed when he drew back.
“You need …” I paused, sliding my thumb over his mouth. “You need to wake up—we need to—before it’s too late.”
His gaze lifted. “I’m not sure I can.”
I traced my fingers along his jaw until he met my eyes again. “Gavrel, you can. Wake up. Come back to me.” My exhale shuddered out of me. “I need you.”
He pressed his palm over my heart. “Say it again.”
I curled my fingers over his. “I need you.”
There went his dimple again. “No, the other thing.”
My grip tightened, and the beat beneath my sternum hammered against both our hands.
He searched my eyes, waiting for me to say the words he needed. The words we’d danced around all these turns.
All this time, he lay himself bare. Made it clear he’d rip his own heart out to ensure my happiness, even if it meant sacrificing himself: mind, body, and soul.
But I was terrified. If I said the words out loud and he couldn’t return …
It.
Would.
Destroy.
Me.
I’d bury myself in our dreams and never wake up. Would spend the rest of my days chasing him through the twists and turns of our minds and memories.
He faded again, evaporating like mist into the Bogs. “Don’t go,” I breathed. “Please wake up.”
He bent, his form nearly translucent now, his mouth was a whisper against mine. A promise.
My eyelids fluttered closed, and a tear glided over my cheek. “My love,” I murmured into the dark.
But he was gone.