Chapter 34
LOOK THE BASTARD IN THE EYES
Seryn
Later in the day, Kaden came to check on his brother.
I gave them time alone, despite my reluctance to leave Gavrel.
Kaden shooed me out the door, teasing that I needed a bath anyway.
I stuck out my tongue, but my chest was tight as I made my way to my sister’s lodging.
Even the sunlight couldn’t chase away the lingering shadows beneath my skin.
Letti had left a note on the table, telling me she’d gone to Yaya’s home. I smiled at her foresight, at how she knew I’d come back. I prepared my bath, sinking into the tepid water with a sigh.
After cleaning up, I went to my grandmother’s cabin; each step up the coiling staircase had my breath hitching. I needed to tell her and my sister. All of it. About the Nether Void. Mama.
When I reached the floor hatch, I peeked inside and smiled when I saw Yaya and Letti, admiring her privacy screen painted with a wooded scene from Evergryn. The delicate brushstrokes caught the afternoon light, making the trees appear to be swaying, ravens soaring over them.
My pulse skipped a beat when I noticed Gideon drumming his fingers on Yaya’s kitchen table. Pushing my shoulders back, I entered. My ember tapped under my star-shaped scar. I breathed in, the air thick with the scent of vegetable stew and smoke.
I held my breath as every eye in the room turned to me. I shook out my hands and exhaled.
“I need to tell you all something. About what happened in the Nether Void,” I began, straightening my spine. “Will you sit with me?”
“Er, it’s never great when she asks you to sit down,” Letti joked, sliding into a seat at Yaya’s table next to her father. Her attempt at levity gave me the courage to go on.
Gideon sniffed, eyes flicking toward me, like a hawk assessing its prey. His fingers twitched slightly on the table’s edge.
Yaya went to the kitchenette and grabbed a bottle of mireberry wine and four cups.
She poured a splash into each, plunked them down in front of us, and settled into a rickety chair across from us.
She took a long sip, filled her cup with the lavender liquid again, and then clasped her hands atop the table.
“All right, start from the beginning.” Her gaze was steady and patient. It was the same unwavering look she always wore—that of a rebel leader. That of someone who refused to break, even with so much loss carved into her turns.
Gideon pushed his cup away, and Letti pulled it toward her before drinking from her first chalice.
I drew in a steadying breath. There was no use taking the long way around.
“Well, to start, Morpheus is my father.” I paused, letting the words hang in the air. I couldn’t help glancing at Gideon. His mouth tightened, nearly disappearing behind the pale line left behind. “He’s the one we freed from the amber in the dungeon.”
“Get on with it, girl,” he snapped, voice brittle. “This is old news.”
“Hold your tongue, Gideon,” Yaya barked. “I asked her to start at the beginning. She might have details Rhaegar hadn’t known.”
Letti nudged my knee with hers under the table, offering me comfort as she so often did when Gideon had treated me unkindly.
I continued, “Mama and Morpheus are khorda. He asked me to find her in the nightmare realm.” Just thinking of that dismal place made my stomach churn.
Letti covered her mouth, fingers fluttering over it. Yaya leaned forward, eyes wide.
I rubbed my hands over my thighs. “And I did. She had been trapped there all this time. Melina found out that Mama was her Scion. She imprisoned her in the Epiales Tombs. Phantasos helped her escape, but the portal led to the Void.” I took a drink, trying to swallow the lump in my throat.
“Some Ancient Morpheus is. Couldn’t even save his fated,” Gideon sneered.
“Bloody void, man. Do you not know your history? Not only was he trapped for nigh a century, but the Nightbloom Sundering treaty prevented him from entering his brother’s realm.” Yaya shook her head. “Unless you want the Aetherbind to unravel and have the Primevals destroy us all.”
Her measured words rumbled over the table, and I shivered at the reminder that our lives were merely threads in a tapestry far larger and more ominous than any of us could fully grasp.
Crossing his arms, he huffed, glaring out the window.
Already, I was tired of him. And somehow, knowing that he wasn’t my father was freeing. Like the chains I hadn’t realized I’d carried my whole life had fallen away. I wasn’t the unlovable one. He was the one who refused to open his heart to me.
I pushed my shoulders back, a weight drifting from them.
I went on, “They had their Kollao ceremony. It was beautiful. Well, until Phobetor showed up.”
“I’m so sad I missed that, but you have no idea how happy I am.” Letti brushed the liquid sheen under her lash line. It's such a relief to finally know what happened to her. Her fingers trembled as they fell to her lap.
“That’s my girl. Always was a fighter.” My grandmother lifted her cup in a salute before drinking. “Surviving in the Nether all this time. Extraordinary.”
I smiled. “And she formed a band of rebels that loathe Phobetor and the Elders. Sound familiar?” I teased.
She smirked, tapping her forefinger hard on the table. “Well, we might need all the help we can get if this war spreads across realms. And I don’t doubt that it will.” Her hazel eyes brightened as she met mine.
The weight of her words, of my legacy, pressed down on me. No matter how often we pushed against the Fates, it still seemed that destiny would catch us in the end.
Letti glanced at her father, then back at me, eyebrows furrowing. “Why did Mama leave the Bogs in the first place? She would’ve been around my age, I think.”
Yaya nodded, closing her eyes momentarily.
“Morpheus came to her in a dream. Said that she and her future children would be in danger if she didn’t flee and hide her identity.
” I toyed with my cup. “She was the Scion, but—but she died in the nightmare realm after being stuck there so long.” I could almost imagine Mama, standing in the endless darkness all those turns ago, as her physical body was taken from her.
Letti’s bottom lip wobbled, but she bit down on it, holding back the tears still lining her eyelashes.
I looked between her and Yaya. “Mama says she loves you both and is saving a spot for us in Surrelia.” The corners of Yaya and Letti’s eyes softened.
I glanced at Gideon. “She sends you the deepest gratitude for everything you did for her … for us. And that you’ll always have a place in her heart.”
His jaw was so rigid I thought it might crack. Grief etched itself into every line on his face. A twinge of sympathy struck me. He really loved my mother. I couldn’t imagine what it cost him to lose her, even knowing she was never his to keep.
Every day must have been a fresh heartbreak. And I had been the reminder.
Yaya slapped his shoulder. “You did well. It takes a real man to love someone unconditionally and care for a child not his own. I’m in debt to you, Gideon.” She leaned forward, voice low. “But if you ever betray my granddaughters or me again, I will cut off your balls. Your spying days are over.”
He gulped. “I would never put my daughter in harm’s way.” His eyes softened as he looked at Letti.
My sister reached across the table and squeezed his hand. “Father.” She waited until his gaze met hers. “When you hurt my sister, you hurt me.”
He frowned, but dipped his chin and then patted her hand.
After a moment, he sniffed. “Perhaps I’ve not been the father you deserved.
When your mother disappeared, I did what I had to do to keep you safe.
To make sure we had food and the roof over our heads.
Spying for the Elders kept their eyes off us.
” He stood, his chair scraping over the planks.
“And I won’t apologize for that. Especially since the Somneia is far behind me. ”
The tip of my tongue pressed against one incisor. It was the closest to an apology he’d ever offer.
“That’s to be seen,” Yaya muttered, her words a quiet warning. The past was never fully behind us; it lingered like smoke after a bonfire, clinging to our backs.
Gideon’s face pinched, nostrils flaring before he marched down the stairs.
Letti rubbed my forearm. “He’ll come around.”
I shrugged. For the first time, I didn’t carry the burden of what the man did or didn’t do.
Gideon was not my father, and he’d held himself so far out of my reach that he never was one to me anyway.
My gaze lingered on the window, the gray coating the sky outside.
The air was thick with possibilities and dangers yet to come.
Somewhere beyond the walls, the faintest whisper of the Void stirred. The Ancient of Nightmares waited, no doubt plotting his escape. His revenge.
But I wouldn’t let him.
My ember purred against my nape, and I finished the rest of my wine. “Tell me how we captured Phobetor.”
Standing, Yaya grabbed the bottle. “Better yet, granddaughters.” She tilted her head toward the hatch. “Let’s look the bastard in the eye while I do.”