CHAPTER SEVENTEEN ISI
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
ISI
Istood in the center of my sitting room, still wearing the emerald gown stained with Crestin’s blood. Dark spatters marred the skirt where it had dried to a rusty brown that appeared black in the torchlight. The necklace Mae had fastened around my throat choked me.
Pherin released her grip on my shoulder and launched toward the windowsill. She landed with an indignant ruffle of teal and silver feathers, her tiny head swiveling to glare at the door, then at me, then back at the door.
Stupid walls. Should burn all, she more or less said.
She sent an image of flames consuming the corridor outside, guards scattering, the door between Trew and me reduced to cinders.
The pictures were new. In the past, we’d only spoken in our minds. What else could this bond do?
“Not yet,” I whispered. When would I be able to let her loose? I ached to do it now.
She puffed up to twice her normal size, all outraged dignity and thwarted violence. For a creature small enough to fit in my palm, she radiated an impressive amount of murderous intent.
The adrenaline that had carried me through the attack and everything that followed drained away at once.
My knees buckled.
I caught myself on the arm of the sofa, digging my fingers into the upholstery. The room tilted, or maybe I did. Everything blurred around the edges, sounds growing distant and muffled, as if I’d plunged underwater.
I’d killed a man tonight. Not my first. Probably not my last. But death never felt easy even if I’d carried it out in self-defense.
I sank onto the sofa, staring down at my trembling fingers.
They looked like someone else’s hands. Pale and delicate, still adorned with the rings I’d worn to dinner.
Princess hands that had shattered a man’s wrist and sent him falling onto his own blade.
With magic I could barely control. The wild surge had erupted when I blocked his strike, responding to my fear with a force I hadn’t expected.
What if I’d released more? The guards might have seen the shimmer, and I’d be in the dungeon right now, awaiting my own cup of ashwine.
I tugged the small striped stone Trew had given me from my pocket and clutched it tight.
“I’ll always find you,” he’d told me more than once.
He’d found me in the training yard when I was pretending to be someone I wasn’t. Found me in the Rite when I nearly died. Found me here in Caldrith. He was determined to stand at my side no matter the cost.
A soft chirp pulled me from my spiraling thoughts.
Pherin hopped along the windowsill, her movements jerky. Trew close.
“You’re right,” I croaked. He was right outside, in the hall.
But he might as well be in Syllavar. A wooden door and four armed guards stood between us.
I could not forget my father’s paranoia.
We had a role to play, bodyguard and princess, and it would be unwise to cross that line even within my own chambers.
One stolen kiss could send Trew to my father’s dungeon.
The isolation crushed me.
I rose and crossed to the door, pressing my palm against the wood. I closed my eyes, imagining him on the other side. Imagined his hand mirroring mine, separated by carved wood that might as well be leagues.
If I concentrated, I could almost feel him through the barrier.
A faint pulse hummed through the wood, warm against my skin, like the distant thrum of his magic, reaching across the bond we shared.
It carried the edge of his frustration, the same coiled tension I’d seen in his jaw all evening.
I pressed harder, willing the sensation to strengthen, to bridge the impossible distance.
My breath caught as it flickered again, a whisper of his presence that made my chest ache with yearning.
I remained there, my palm burning with the echo of him, the bond singing faintly in my blood. It wasn’t the same as him holding me, but it reminded me we were linked in ways no door could sever. Still, the pulse faded too soon, leaving cold wood and the hollow ache of almost.
Almost wasn’t enough.
A tear slipped down my cheek. Then another. I pressed my lips together to keep any sound from escaping, but my shoulders shook.
I’d killed a man tonight.
I might have to kill again before this was over.
My father suspected something, though I wasn’t sure what.
The weight of it all threatened to break me.
Pherin flew over and landed on my shoulder, leaning against my neck, her feathered wing stroking my skin. Strong. Fierce. Survived. I proud. Warrior like me.
I sucked in a breath and nudged away from the door.
I walked into the bathing chamber and as the tub filled, I tugged free the laces of my gown, pulling the wretched fabric away from my skin. It whispered as it fell, pooling at my feet in a ruined heap of emerald and rust.
The necklace came next, then the earrings. Each piece of jewelry shed armor, revealing me beneath.
I climbed into the tub and began washing, scrubbing the places where I’d swear Crestin’s blood had splattered my skin, though how could it? He’d flopped on the bridge, his blood pooling underneath him.
Bloodbane.
I’d known the blade was poisoned the moment Trew said it on the bridge, but I hadn’t let myself feel what that meant. But here, I was alone. No guards. No looming father. No long walk through the corridors full of watchful eyes.
If the blade had even grazed me, I’d already be dead. Trew would’ve watched me die three from a few paces away and been unable to do anything but keep his face blank and his hands still.
I scrubbed harder, my skin reddening beneath the cloth, and still couldn't stop.
Steam rose from the water, heat spiking as if fueled by something within me.
The surface bubbled, too hot, scalding my legs.
Panic surged, my magic flaring without command, responding to the turmoil in my chest. I clamped down hard, willing it back, forcing the water to cool.
It simmered down, but the effort left me trembling.
I couldn’t afford these slips or I’d betray myself in an instant.
A sharp knock echoed from the outer door, startling me. Water sloshed as I jerked upright.
“Your Highness?” A guard’s voice, muffled through the wood. “We heard a noise. Are you well?”
My heart pounded. I couldn’t let them in, couldn’t let them see me raw-skinned and shaken, with the remnants of magic still humming in the air. I forced my voice steady, the princess mask sliding back into place. “I’m fine. I…dropped a brush in the bath. Nothing more.”
A pause, too long. “You’re certain? His Majesty’s orders were clear. We’re to check any disturbances.”
Irritation surged beneath my calm. They were spying as much as protecting. “Quite certain. I’m bathing and expect privacy. I assure you, all is well.”
Silence was followed by footsteps retreating.
I exhaled, sinking back into the water, but the interruption crept across the edge of the room like a shadow.
My hands still trembled as I started washing again, the ritual now filled with urgency.
They were watching, always watching. One wrong sound, one slip, and they’d burst in.
I scrubbed faster, chasing away the evening’s horror with each stroke, though the memory clung like the steam curling in the air.
Tonight, I’d proven I wasn’t the delicate princess they all thought me to be, and that had to be good enough for now.
I climbed out of the tub and toweled dry, then picked up Trew’s stone again, pressing it to my lips before placing it carefully on my bureau. I pulled on a simple nightgown, something soft and comfortable.
Pherin flew to her perch beside my bed. She tucked her head beneath her wing, but awareness still coasted through our bond.
I climbed into bed and pulled the covers up, though sleep would be elusive tonight.
The torch on the wall cast shadows across the ceiling. I watched them shift and sway, twisting into the faint outline of a mask that was cracking at the edges, revealing something fierce beneath.
Somewhere beyond my door, Trew stood guard. Close, but too far, though not forever.
Nothing was forever except the bond between us, the magic that sang in my blood, and the promise I’d made to myself on that blood-stained bridge: I would stand beside him as the woman I was becoming, searing a path through this realm for those I cared about.
The mask was cracking.
Soon, everyone would see who truly lay beneath.