CHAPTER FORTY-SIX ISI #2
Outside, the first creature reached our abandoned camp. The sound of it tearing through made my stomach turn. If we’d stayed, we’d be under attack. There was little chance I could’ve defended myself with Trew lying on the ground, though I would’ve done my best.
I shoved the thought away and focused on him. His skin had gone clammy, fever already building beneath the surface. When I pressed my hand to his forehead, the heat radiating from him made me flinch.
“Kerralyn, he’s getting sicker.”
“I see it.” She dug through her pack, pulling out small vials and cloth pouches.
Trew’s hand shot out, grabbing my wrist with surprising strength. His eyes opened, but they remained unfocused, glazed with fever.
“Saw you first,” he muttered, his voice rough and broken. “In that mask. I knew you were mine…even then.”
My mind reeled. He was delirious, the fever stripping away all his careful control.
His grip tightened. “Couldn’t breathe when you left. Thought I’d lost you.”
It was all I could do to breathe with the pain stabbing through my chest. I tried to pull my hand free, but he held onto it like I was the only thing keeping him from slipping away.
“I’m not going anywhere,” I whispered, tears trickling down my face. “Stay. You still owe me a lifetime of arguments and kisses.”
“They can’t have you.” His voice dropped to something dangerous, possessive. “Kill anyone who tries.”
I stroked his forehead. “I’m with you. I didn’t cross fire and fate to lose you now.”
“Minx.” The word came out slurred.
I helped Kerralyn unwrap his bandage, and she pressed a cloth soaked in something pungent across his wounds. Trew’s back arched, a sound of pure agony tearing from his throat.
I grabbed his other hand, lacing our fingers together. “It’s alright. It’s going to be alright.” But was it?
His breathing gradually slowed, the pain dragging him back under.
His skin burned as I pressed cooling cloths to his forehead, his chest, anywhere the heat seemed to gather. But even unconscious, he reached for me, his hand seeking mine, his body turning toward my touch.
A shudder ran through his frame. “Love you,” he mumbled, the words slurred but achingly clear. “Love you so much it terrifies me. You’re the only thing I’ve never been willing to lose. Would destroy the world, destroy everything, to keep you safe.”
This raw honesty and complete surrender while his defenses were down undid me.
“I loved you before I knew your name, and I’ll love you even after the fates have forgotten mine.”
His grip tightened. “Don’t leave me. Promise you won’t leave.”
“Never.” I settled against his side, letting him feel my weight, warmth, and presence. “I’m not going anywhere.”
I pressed my face into the curve of his neck, breathing him in, fighting the urge to mark him somehow, to leave my claim on his heated skin.
“If this is the end,” I said softly. “I’m walking into the dark with you.”
“We need to strip off his tunic,” Kerralyn said, scooting over close to us. “I think the poison’s seeping through the fabric, into his shoulder wound.”
I nodded and slipped away from Trew. He didn’t stir.
She sliced through the blood-soaked leather, and we eased it out from around him. Every movement made him groan and fresh blood seep across his bandages. By the time we got it off, my hands were shaking so badly I could barely hold the cloth Kerralyn handed me.
I’d seen Trew shirtless before. Had traced the planes of his chest and mapped the scars that told stories of battles won and losses survived. But I’d never seen him this vulnerable or broken.
Silver scars ran from around his back to his sternum. I slid my fingertip across each one.
“He got these protecting me in the Rite,” I said, not caring that I was confessing that he’d protected me when it was forbidden. “He’d merged with Gavelle in his firecat form, and they fought off the creature much like the ones that keep attacking us now.”
“The others must be from Skathe attacks,” Derren said from where he watched the cave entrance.
“He got them trying to survive.” I traced my finger across a mark on his arm. Another on his left side.
While I’d been presiding over executions in my father’s court. Trew had been fighting to keep his people alive. And now he was dying because he’d once again thrown himself between me and a creature that would’ve torn me apart.
“He’s getting worse.” Kerralyn’s voice cut through my spiraling thoughts. She pressed fresh herbs against his wounds, rewrapping them with strips of cloth. “The poison is spreading faster than the fraewort can counter it.”
“What can we do?” My voice came out strangled.
“Keep him warm. Keep him still. And pray the herbs work.”
I heard what she didn’t say: Before the poison reached his heart.
Outside the cave, combat continued, the roars of our companions echoing around us.
Derren and Lexie tightened their grips on their weapons and flung themselves into the battle with Gavelle, only Pherin remaining behind to cover the entrance and Kerralyn to help me with Trew.
Battle shook the stone around us. Fire lit up the night, bright enough to make shadows writhe across the cave walls. They fought to defend us. Shrieks of dying creatures and the cries of our friends ricocheted through the narrow space until I wanted to scream.
Pherin growled at the entrance, blasting creatures when they came near. She created a wall of fur and muscle and barely leashed violence that challenged every beast out there.
Guard, Pherin said in my mind. Nothing pass me.
Another roar rang outside. Closer this time.
“Lakast just incinerated three,” Derren called back to us. “Levar’s got the last two pinned.”
I flinched at every sound, torn between my need to stay with Trew and join the fight. Our friends and companions were out there risking their lives while I remained in relative safety inside a cave. Trew would’ve been out there with them if he was conscious, leading the charge like always.
Helplessness crashed over me. This must be what he felt watching me fight an infection in the Rite. Seeing me in danger and being unable to do much about it.
Kerralyn thrust a waterskin and wrapped food into my hands. “Eat. Drink. You can’t help him if you collapse.”
“I’m not hungry.”
“I don’t care.” Her voice came out hard. “You’re no good to him dead.”
I forced myself to drink, to chew the dried meat even though it tasted like the bile that kept creeping up my throat. Trew would’ve made sure I was fed and had water before he even thought about his own needs.
Kerralyn left and crawled back over, a small pouch in her hands.
A low sound escaped Trew’s throat, a mix between a growl and a whimper.
I grabbed his hand, pressing it to my chest. “Hold on. This isn’t where you leave me. We decide that together.”
“He’s my king,” Kerralyn said, her voice rough with emotion. “But he’s my friend first.”
The words settled in my chest. These people weren’t here out of duty or obligation but because they cared. Because in the short time I’d known them, they’d become family.
They were the kind of family that fought beside you. That bled for you. That stayed in a cave in the middle of the wasteland while poison tried to steal away someone they loved.
Hours crept by, marked only by Trew’s labored breathing and the sounds of fighting beyond our shelter. Kerralyn checked his wounds periodically, and we reapplied herbs and changed bandages. Derren gave periodic updates. So far, no injuries among them. Many dead creatures, however.
Finally, the latest battle ended, and our friends returned to the cave, slumping on the floor while their companions in small form flopped beside them to rest. They ate and drank, then dozed.
Will guard. Pherin and Gavelle shifted into their bird forms and flew out to soar over the area. They’d report if any more creatures approached.
The battle might be over outside, but the worst one still continued inside the cave. Halfway through the night, Trew’s breathing changed to a rasping, gurgling thing, like he couldn’t quite fill his lungs.
“No.” I grabbed Kerralyn’s arm. “He’s not breathing right.”
She pressed her fingers to his throat, counting. Her face went pale. “His heart’s racing. The poison—”
“Fix it.” The words came out as a scream. “Kerralyn, fix it. Please!”
The others crowded around us, Lexie with tears streaming down her face, Derren’s eyes grim.
I grabbed Trew’s face between my palms. “You don’t get to die.” Sobs shook my body. “You don’t get to save me and then leave. You hear me? I didn’t choose you for a moment. I chose you for always.”
His eyes remained closed. His breathing grew more labored.
I pressed my forehead to his, my voice breaking. “Please don’t go. I need you. Stay stubborn. Stay alive. Stay mine.” I gathered my magic and flung it at him, driving it inside him. Take all I have. It’s always been yours.
For too long, nothing changed. Then his eyes fluttered open, just a sliver of gold in the dim light.
“Not going anywhere, Minx.” The words came out a bare whisper. “I promised you always.”
Then he was out again, his body going slack. But his pulse steadied beneath my fingers, stronger than it had been before.
I sagged against him, my vision swimming at the edges. Whatever I’d given him, I’d given it completely. I didn’t care.
Kerralyn squeezed my shoulder. “Whatever you did, keep doing it.”
I sent more magic into him. And I talked to him, telling him things I’d never said out loud, confessions that had lived in my chest for too long.
“I was afraid to love you,” I said softly, stroking his hair. “Everyone I love dies. My mother. Addie—or so I thought. I kept waiting for you to be taken from me too.”
His hand twitched in mine.
“But you made me feel powerful, like the magic I carry wasn’t something to hide but a thing that could make me stronger.” I traced the line of his jaw, the stubble that had grown there scratchy. “You looked at me and saw a queen when everyone in my court saw an executioner.”
Another twitch. He was listening, even unconscious.