Chapter 44 #2
His hands tightened, hazel eyes boring into her. “That’s the stupidest fucking thing I’ve ever heard in my life.”
Another flash of memory—her parents, lifeless in their funeral shrouds, their skin colorless and shadowed beneath the grotesquely glowing flowers that surrounded them—and she snapped.
“No it’s not!” she screamed, only centimeters from his face. “I refuse to let them take one more thing from me!”
No one had even known she was there, thinking her dead.
Her body lost to the destruction. She’d used her power to leave her likeness behind in Cordelia’s tower, and snuck to the garish service.
Had watched false tears fall from traitorous eyes, Sunestra—Malachyr’s mate—among them.
She’d been so fucking alone it had sickened her.
“The Council isn’t here, Lunara. You are the one taking away. You are the one trying to deny your own happiness, and mine.”
“I’m trying to save you!”
He didn’t back down. He didn’t flinch. Just stayed there, steady as cliffs in a storm as she broke down, heaving sobs tearing themselves from her lungs. It could have been hours, days, weeks she was like that, pouring out her soul in wails and diamond teardrops.
By the time she settled, the front of his tunic was damp and clutched so tightly in her grasp it was a wonder she hadn’t shredded the thing.
“Why won’t you let me save you?”
Brand peeled her exhausted body away and scooped her up without warning. He carried her to the main room—to the massive, canopied bed—and nestled her against the headboard. The smell of salty pine resin and his intangible warmth rose up from the downy mass and engulfed her, testing her resolve.
He stepped back, a muscle ticking in his jaw when his eyes darted towards the balcony, and all she could think was that the loss of his touch only served to emphasize how miserable the rest of her life was going to be.
Brand nodded finally, as if to himself, and climbed in to kneel in front of her.
He reached out and grabbed her hand, bringing it to his chest. “This heart is yours, remember? I’ve given it to you so many times, I’ve lost count.
I’ll be giving it to you every day until I pass into the Veil and, even then, I’ll still be trying. ”
A tear slipped over his cheek, glittering as it fell to the silken sheets. He pressed his other hand over her heart, the treacherous organ pumping an erratic rhythm as his heat seeped into her.
“And this, I took for myself,” he rasped.
“I took it and I filled it with my every wish, prayer, and dream, and now… Everything I have ever wanted is beating here before me—a beautiful heart that I’ve gilded with my own future and entrusted to you.
” His fingers dug into her flesh ever so slightly, possessively.
“If you run because you’re still afraid, know that I will follow.
To the edges of this world and beyond, Lunara.
I will chase you. I will go to battle and fight with you.
I will fall to my knees and beg you. I will do anything, except lay down and let you leave.
Not when I know you’re only doing it because you think you’re protecting me.
No one is allowed to steal away my greatest treasure—not even the female herself. ”
Never before had Lunara felt so wrecked, so ravaged. Every emotion pushed and pulled at her, clawing at her determination and tugging her in too many directions to count.
You have to fight it. You have to go.
“Brand—”
“No,” he breathed just before his mouth landed on hers, the gentle kiss silencing her and over too soon.
“No, I am yours and you are mine. I protect what’s mine, Lunara, and I will protect you—from the Council, from Illamiata.
I’ll even protect you from yourself.” He dropped their hands and slipped his fingers into her hair.
“I swear to you, I will not let you fall into the darkness you fear. I will always be there to remind you that you are all that is lovely and blessed in this world. Everything that is good. You are.” He closed the almost nonexistent distance between them and kissed her again, then whispered once more against her lips, “You are.”
Then his mouth devoured hers, frantic and frenzied, so unlike the two before. She didn’t know whether to pull him closer or push him away—what she wanted for herself and what she needed to do instead so at war that she hardly knew how to untangle the mess of it.
Drawing on her courage, on all she felt for him, Lunara ignored the heart that wasn’t even hers anymore as it shattered to the floor.
She allowed herself one last rake through his auburn waves. One more nip of his full lips and brush of his tongue. A final shared breath.
“I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t—”
Her power was gentle, as in love with Brand as she was. He slipped easily into sleep, tumbling over next to her and onto the down mattress.
The sight of him blurred, like the fresh wash of tears was trying to steal it away to save her from the torment.
He seemed so much younger, dark eyelashes fanning against his cheeks, not a worry in the world to crease that intense brow or twist his mouth. His long hair was a gorgeous, fiery mess, tangled around his horns and caught in his beard like rivers of molten earth.
That this would be the last she saw of him was a balm on her spirit, in a way. A soothing touch against a soul that had been clenching and cracking for decades, until it had finally known a little healing because of the creature lying so peacefully before her.
“I love you,” she whispered into the relative silence, wishing to test the words at least once—to feel the taste of them on her tongue, the rightness—before she left him forever. “Goodbye, Brand.”
As if to confirm the wisdom of her decision by giving her the means, a dark and familiar power drew closer, brushing up against her own like a long lost friend.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to intrude, but I had to be sure he was well.”
Lunara looked across the room, the youngest Imperial Son’s severe countenance staring back. He was hardly more than a shadow himself in his black armor. Only his skin gave him away, flickering as hers did in the evenings.
“How much did you hear?”
Araxis took another tentative step, his sigh heavy. “All of it. I was ready to catch you from your fall if Brand didn’t.”
“And ready to rescue him, too, I’d wager.”
“Always.”
Lunara huffed, starting to go numb as it sank in. She couldn’t resist trailing her fingers over Brand’s as she stood, knowing she probably wouldn’t feel anything again for a very long time.
Maybe ever.
She straightened her skirts and combed her fingers through her hair. “If there’s one person in this world who has absolutely nothing to fear from me, it’s Brand.”
“I can see that.” Another step. “I might even believe it, if I didn’t know what you’re capable of.”
Her laugh was an ugly thing. “Araxis, if I hadn’t come to help when Thad asked me, you’d never have known I was alive. The only way I could be capable of the things you’re talking about is if I claimed the Tear Stone—which I abjectly refuse to do.”
“The next Occurrence—”
“I was there for the Evesong’s last Occurrence,” she snapped, uncaring he was an Imperial.
Shite, at this point, she might even outrank him in the same awkward way Lyriat sometimes outranked Brand.
“Was there when exactly nothing happened, despite there being no Keeper to facilitate it. There to hear the uproar of whispers and wonderings as everything remained completely unchanged, much to everyone’s shock. Nachthelliae will be fine.”
His nostrils flared, a muscle twitching beneath his eye. “What will you do?”
“Funny you should ask.” It was becoming more real with every word. More painful. “As far as I’m concerned, you owe me a favor, Araxis aht Bordoroth. Maybe a lifetime of favors. Fuck, two lifetimes.”
“That night wasn’t all it seemed.”
“No?” she hissed. “Seemed real enough to me when I watched my parents get brutally ripped apart, and half a city with them, while the rest of the Council dined and danced, you fucking coward.”
His fists clenched. “What would you ask of me?”
“Take me back to Straelon, to Lyriat, and tell no one where I’ve gone.”
“He’s going to chase you.” Araxis nodded his head towards the bed behind her, and she had to fight against every particle in her body as they tried to follow the gesture and turn her around. “And I value my life just enough not to try and stop him, even though I might want him to.”
“Yes, so he said. And I value his life enough not to give a starry shite about my own. He might try to find me, but it won’t matter. I won’t let it happen. Are you going to help me or not?”