Chapter Seven
“ W hat about these, Ash?”
I looked over to Nicola, who was holding up blue delphinium and violet hydrangea. She was sitting cross-legged in the grass, her curls pulled up into a high bun and her tanned face bare. Her apricot dress was a loose and whimsical cotton piece that blew in the soft wind. Her cloak was the opposite, a heavy black wool that looked far more comfortable than my own.
We had spent the majority of the morning planning for her wedding next month. Mia had invited her and Kafele to be married at the palace, which was an honor even most court members would never receive. I knew the queen did it for me, although I was not sure if it was so I could be with my friend during this time, or because she wanted me to bear witness to how exciting a marriage could be. The difference between Nicola and I though, was that she loved her betrothed. I rarely managed to tolerate mine.
“I like them. I think the colors go well together, and they will look beautiful with your dress. They are unique, like you,” I responded.
“Good. I want our wedding to be different than others. I want to be original,” she said, lifting her chin a bit. I smiled, knowing that originality would never be a problem for Nicola. We sat there in silence for a few minutes, organizing all of the supplies we had put together.
Nicola was nothing short of perfectly organized, with charts and drawings and truly anything she could think to depict or plan. I wondered if knowing who she was made these things easier for her, like second nature.
I loved that about her. How strong-willed and confident in herself she was. Nicola took everything thrown at her and threw it back with double the force, never stumbling.
I heard her let out a deep sigh, and when I looked up, she was peeking at me from the corner of her eye.
“Okay Nicola, what is it you are dying to say?” I asked, rolling my eyes. Her smile grew at my question. Since we were young, she had always done this, hoped I would catch onto her hints of interest and speak up first. She was clever and cunning, which made her all the more fun.
“Who was that you were dancing with the other night? The one who nearly ripped Sterling’s arm off?” she asked, facing towards me. She leaned in a bit and said, “He was quite possibly one of the most attractive males I have ever seen. Apart from Kafele, of course.”
I never used my powers on Nicola, so she would be the only one who continued to watch what happened that night other than the five of us who went out into the hallway.
“I only got his first name. Bellamy. He was very…interesting,” I said, unable to find better words to describe him. I doubt I could do him justice.
“Oh my gods, Asher, did you have sex with Mr. Interesting?” she asked, squealing a bit at the end. I quickly shushed her and gave a bit of a shove, making her lean over laughing. I had done the same to her the first time she told me about Kafele, and when they had sex I made jokes for weeks about him being quick off the mark. Poor male only lasted a minute or so. I guess I deserved this.
“No, do not be daft. And keep your voice down before Sterling hears and sends an army after him!” I hissed, trying to stay serious. I failed when she wiggled her eyebrows at me, falling into a fit of laughter. I was always planning on telling her about what happened, but I was nervous to do so outside where we could be overheard.
I looked around us and saw no one. Reaching out with my power, I sensed a groundskeeper on the other side of the castle trimming a hedge, but no one else.
“If you must know, we might have kissed,” I answered, trying to sound casual. Nicola’s mouth dropped open and her eyes grew wide.
“Ash, I was kidding. I cannot believe you actually kissed him. How exciting!” she said, clapping her hands together. “Tell me all about it. Did you like it? Was he any good? What did he taste like?”
I lowered my voice to a whisper, “It was amazing. I have never felt a spark like that before, like lightning in my skin. And yes, he was good at it. So so wonderful at it. He tasted like fire and cinnamon and sunshine—”
“How does someone taste like sunshine?” Nicola asked, giggling.
“I do not know how to explain it, but he was warm and clean and…like the first ray of sun after a long and stormy winter.” At that, she smiled, and I knew she understood. I would never dare say that this feeling Bellamy gave me was anything like what she and Kafele had, but I did feel a pull to him. Like he was a magnet guiding me to his side.
“Will you see him again?” she asked, her voice impossibly softer.
She knew this would be the most damning part of the conversation. One which should not be occurring at all. Nicola I could trust, it was the listening ears that I could not. Truthfully, it did not matter. There was no future in which the Fire and I would be together.
“I do not know Nicola, will I?” I asked jokingly.
Nicola was a Tomorrow. The first time we met, she said that in her dream, which was what she used to call the visions she saw upon touching another fae, we became best friends. She had been the only one brave enough to read me and, to this day, remained the sole Tomorrow to have read The Manipulator.
She rolled her eyes. “Stop avoiding the question.”
I would have loved to see him even once more, but not only would every suiter have left The Capital immediately after the ball ended, I also did not know how even a single minute with him would lead to anything other than trouble. Mia and Xavier would likely die of fright if they found out what I did, let alone that I had the desire to see him again, and Sterling might call for Bellamy’s head. Of course, Xavier would deliver it whether requested or not.
“It was exciting and sexy, but it was also incredibly stupid. Risking myself is one thing, but if my marriage to Sterling does not happen, then our entire realm could be in danger.” I sighed. Futile as it was, a part of me had always dreamed of finding a handsome stranger that would fall madly in love with me. Apparently, Eternity liked to play jokes on the hopeful.
“You cannot carry the world on your shoulders Asher. If you marry Sterling, you will be giving up your happiness for a realm that does not even respect you.” Her words stung, and I was positive they would stick with me for some time. The truth was not always easy to hear, and it was usually hard to forget.
“I know that, I witness their hatred everyday Nicola,” I snapped. I knew that she was not being mean intentionally, she never was when she said those things that felt like a stab to the chest. Yet, her good intentions never seemed to take away the hurt of such a horrible truth.
Nothing in the world would make me happier than having the fae accept me. Each day I woke up and attempted to fight back against my nature, to mold myself into the princess—and eventual queen—the fae deserved. Each day I seemingly failed.
“I am sorry, I just meant that you give up more than you should to the ungrateful. You deserve happiness. Sterling is dull at best and deranged at worst. Look how he treats you when he is still vying for your heart. What do you think a marriage to him will be like?”
Again, she was right, yet I still felt anger rising within me. I never enjoyed talking about Sterling with her, because there was no changing the situation. All it did was serve to upset us both. Nicola would not share with me what future she saw for my impending husband and I, but I knew that she did not enjoy whatever ensuing life would come of the nuptials.
“Marriage is about gain, Mia tells me as much daily. I am only doing what nearly everyone else does. You are the exception Nicola, not the rule.” Determination lit her eyes, and she looked as if she might further argue. I spoke before she could. “Because of that, it would be careless to see Bellamy again. I would never be able to get away without being seen anyways. Besides, I would have no way of finding him.”
Just then, soft footsteps sounded behind me. I turned to see Jasper and Farai walking towards us, hand-in-hand. They were a beautiful couple, so much so that it was hard not to stare at them. Jasper had let his hair glide down his back freely today, the straight black wave blowing in the wind. He was growing paler as the cold months came crashing down upon us, but his cheeks always held a pink hue. His strong jaw and broad shoulders paired with his wide brown eyes and thin lips had always made him appear more ethereal than most. The kind of beautiful that made you question reality.
Farai was a unique sort of handsome. His ivory hair was cropped short recently, a change from his normally shoulder-length style. His irises matched, an equally colorless hue. He was larger than Jasper, in height and bulk. Years of training as a soldier for the Isle Shifter military forces had chiseled him into a living sculpture. However, it was the male’s skin that brought others flocking to him, piquing their interest. Rather than a single tone like most fae, Farai’s skin was both a creamy pearl and a rich brown. Patches of the two colors warred on him like an abstract painting, an alluring and captivating anomaly.
“Ash baby, when are you finally going to say no to the gaudy gold?” Farai asked as he sank into the grass beside me.
I looked down, eyeing the thick gold trousers and scratchy short sleeve tunic. I had originally planned to wear a long sleeve to hide the bruises on my arms, which were taking uncharacteristically long to fade, but my hideous gold cloak covered them well enough.
I too hated my clothes, but Xavier and Mia preferred we represent the color of the royal seal. To them, the color signified our love for our realm and separated us as royals. I understood the sentiment.
“I am pretty sure I will be buried beneath gilded dirt, Fair. But I do so appreciate the hatred for my wardrobe,” I teased, rolling my eyes at him. Farai was in all black, as he often was. Though his obsession with the color did not seem excessive, rather it was flattering, making the shade of his hair and eyes stand out in bold contrast.
Jasper huffed beside me. Nothing displeased him more than my attitude towards the rules that had been set in place for me. His belief was that I let them walk all over me, whereas I argued that there was no need for me to fuss over small things such as clothes. If it made the royals happy, then it was the least I could do after they had given me so much.
All three of them loathed my choice to submit. Of all those decisions I had agreed upon, it was Sterling that they most adamantly argued against. Concern from them had not been a surprise in the slightest, because they were all desperately in love. Their understanding of my situation, my life, only went so far.
“You look beautiful, as you always do. I think what Farai meant was that you deserve the chance to blossom on your own, to become who you want to be,” Jasper said, rubbing my back softly.
The three of them shared the same solemn and troubled expression, surrounding me with their pity. I knew why they worried. In fact, I appreciated their love for me. Nothing other than my absolute trust in that love would have helped me at the start of my relationship with Sterling, when I had been desperately attempting to form a connection.
He had seemed kind and intelligent, not to mention he was incredibly handsome. I had been willing to see past his young age and his shameless touching because of that. But behind my back he was cold and calculated, lustful and conceited, hateful and conniving. It did not warm him to my friends, and they were quick to inform me of their opinions.
After I confronted him, he was more direct about who he truly was. The mortal prince was all too glad to strip the fa?ade, because he knew I would do whatever the royals said either way. And they were insisting upon our marriage.
I shook my head, fighting off the tears welling behind my eyes. I would not cry about that ridiculous child. He could be my king consort; I would not allow for that to mean anything other than someone at my side for show. Someone to supply armies and help us win the war that we all knew was coming. Someone to please Mia and Xavier. If forced, perhaps a youngling.
“Anyways, who was that dashing male you were dancing with at your ball? He was positively delicious,” Farai said, licking his lips. Jasper chuckled, slinging his arm around his husband and flicking his cheek. All three of them looked at me with wide smiles, Nicola not offering the slightest bit of assistance. One of them prodding me was enough, I did not need all three.
“No one I will ever see again,” I grumbled, my tone dripping annoyance. Such a pointlessly dangerous conversation. Jasper rolled his eyes, straightening his amber vest and matching trousers, the cream long-sleeved tunic smooth beneath. He possessed the kind of casual grace that sparked jealousy among males and females alike.
Farai on the other hand was a beautiful disaster, with his perfectly messed tunic and trousers, buttons askew and hair wild. He shook his head, as if my choice of words was incredibly irritating. Maybe to them it was. Because how could they understand what it is like to owe everything to someone the way I did to the royals?
“I need to go grab something from my chambers, I will be right back,” I said, jumping up and practically running from them. They all watched me, not remotely convinced. But I did not care, I needed to be alone.
With impressive speed, I rushed inside, prepared to hide away until the three of them came to retrieve me by force. My eyes frantically searched the hallways as I ran, my power tasting the air as well, praying to Eternity that I did not run into Sterling or the royals.
When I finally, thankfully, grabbed the handles to my doors, I yanked them open and closed them behind me with a sigh. I had still been searching the area, subconsciously looking for unwanted guests. So the other mind, all black shadows and fiery sunshine, alerted me to my visitor before his husky voice.
“Hello, Princess,” Bellamy said.