Chapter Forty-One
T he next day, Bellamy found me awake before the sun, as I had been all night. I thought perhaps he had discovered my tendencies to fight sleep, despite not being told, but this was the first time he had approached me. We were camped in a low valley, the snow not yet sticking here but the air still frigid. I sat perched on a large rock, where I had laid out a thick quilt and bundled myself in my cloak as well as a large fur.
The demon came towards me on silent feet, his black hair messy, but still mostly swept to one side. The tip of his nose and apples of his cheeks were a vibrant red, nearly hiding the patches of freckles there. His full lips were slightly purple in color, as if he had been outside longer than the time it took to walk from his tent to my rock, but had not wanted to alert me of his presence by using his powers.
“May I?” he asked, gesturing to the space beside me, his head tilted in that infuriating way it so often did.
I eyed him for a moment, wondering what he was plotting. Begrudgingly, I nodded, scooting further to give him more space. He propped himself up on the flat surface, shivering at the cold that must have seeped into his body at the contact even through the quilt.
Sighing, I loosened the fur from around my shoulders and promptly wrapped some of it around him. Stunned, he looked at me with wide eyes and parted lips. I rolled my own eyes. I was not so horrid I would let the male freeze.
Suddenly, heat enveloped the space between us, radiating from him like a fire. Without much thought, I scooted closer to him, eagerly drinking in the warmth. Evidently, the demon did not need a fur to stay warm.
“Is this when you admit to me that we only traveled by horseback so you had time to convince me to join your cause?” I asked, eyebrows raised.
It was glaringly obvious that he had done this on purpose, though I was surprised that he found the wasted time was worth the effort. He could have made the same valiant attempt within the confines of The Royal City.
With a dashing smirk, the prince snapped his fingers. Appearing on my lap in a cloud of black smoke was a brown sack, lumpy and unimpressive. Inside I found my clothes for the day.
A deep red tunic, the fabric a soft cotton and appearing to be a tighter fit. Black, thick tights also lay within the sack. To top off the look of the day was a gorgeous chain mail vest. Instead of the bulky and tight stiches that normally made up the metal top, this one was thinner and looser, decorative almost with its twists and designs.
Pino was a genius.
I smiled, nodding a thanks. Looking him over, I realized he had already donned his matching outfit. Black trousers and the same loosely woven metal on top, though his traveled down the length of his arms and was red rather than silver. Below he wore a black tunic.
Bellamy had told me before that we each had a pack, which was filled with clothes daily. Pino had been in charge of mine, as well as Bellamy’s. Paid servants had received the others’, as they resided in the palace when not doing whatever work was required of them as a part of the prince’s Trusted.
“So what did you need, oh glorious heir to the demon throne?” I inquired. The sooner he left the better. This time alone was the only chance I had to think and feel without caution. Despite how painful the long hours were, they were also a treasure.
“Am I not allowed to simply enjoy your presence?” he asked, the tone mocking and light.
“Not if you possess sanity,” I answered.
Those crystal eyes met mine.
Blasphemy, he shouted into his mind, the sound reverberating into my own head. I could never be insane, I am far too brilliant.
Ah, but you do not deny my company is less than enjoyable? I shot back, appreciating the slight panic that lit his face. I chuckled, shoving his arm with my shoulder to break the tension.
“Your company is like the sweetest wine,” he said, earning a scoff from me.
“I hate you,” I said in response, not able to conjure a better insult.
“I think the only thing you hate is how much you like me, Princess.” His voice was sultry, more than a simple tease. We needed to change the subject before I lost all my senses.
“Tell me what you came for, demon,” I said. Whatever it was had to be important to come out here in the night. It was far from comfortable.
“Well in truth, there was something I wanted to ask.” His statement was hesitant, as if he were nervous. Of what I was unsure. My reaction? My answer? Both?
I nodded, waving a hand to signal for him to continue. He did not smile, though to his credit, he also did not hesitate.
“What do you want in life?”
I reeled back, as if his question was a blow to my chest. How could he ask something like that when he had worked so hard to take my choices away from me? He certainly had not cared what I wanted when he inserted himself into my life in order to steal me away from the only home I had ever known. Nor had he cared about my wants when he hid secrets from me and refused to allow me the courtesy of knowing what my own near future would entail.
“Are you daft? Or do you simply enjoy being a prick?” I seethed, jumping down from the rock and stomping away from him, ripping the fur off as I went.
He caught up with annoying quickness, not faltering a step. His persistence only made me angrier. With every ounce of strength I possessed, I remained quiet, heading straight for my tent. Bellamy had other ideas, reaching out his hand and grabbing onto my wrist. Then I was spinning to face him, his other arm securing around my waist. I struggled in his grasp, but it held firm.
“I was not asking to annoy you or make you feel upset. Why can you not see that I care? That I want your joy more than I want air in my lungs? Ask anything of me, and I will do everything I can to give it to you. Talk to me, please.”
That did it. I looked up at him, finger pointed to his chest and eyes blazing.
“Fine, you want honesty? You want to talk? Then know I am miserable. I have no home, no family, and my best friends are a sea away. I am surrounded by creatures who lie to me and follow a wicked prince that abducted me. Every night I think of that stupid little child’s hands on me or Xavier beating me or Mia offering me tea that likely had poison in it. And here you stand, pretending to care, as if you are not keeping secrets and holding me against my will. As if you are not lying and plotting and using me just as everyone else has!” I said with a gasp of breath.
He stared, face unreadable save for the tick in his jaw that said he was at least mildly upset. Good, that made two of us. I would not let him recover. Would not give him the opportunity to hide ugly truths with pretty lies. Whipping back around, I made a dash for my tent. I was so close, a mere ten feet. Still, he caught me, grabbing around my waist and pulling my back flush to his chest.
“Ash, please,” he whispered, leaning down to rest his chin atop my head.
I froze, not prepared to hear that nickname come from his lips. It sounded horribly perfect. As if he were always meant to know me well enough to use it.
“There are some secrets that are not mine to tell, many that involve you. But when we arrive in The Royal City, I promise you will be made privy to them all. I know this is unfair, and that I have upended your life. You were right before, about me stalling with this trip. Not because I wanted to change your allegiances. Rather, I wanted more time with you. Selfishly, I wanted you to have more time with me as well,” he admitted.
My body seemed incapable of moving, as if I were rooted to the spot within Bellamy’s hold. Nothing kept me together save for the feeling of those strong arms, tightly grasping my stomach as if he were afraid I might disappear.
Always, he found a way to pull me in. To assure me he was not the enemy. To convince me that he was my destiny. A part of me agreed, enjoying the way I felt at his side. In all my life I had never met someone so close to my equal, who rivaled my strength and power, who did not balk or fear me. We fit together like two halves of a puzzle, waiting for the other to finally be complete.
Here, in his warmth, that future felt right. That was what he hoped for. I knew it. Regardless of the scheming, he hoped that at the end of this, we would survive, side by side. Unrealistic as that was.
“What will she mean to you in the end?” Pino had said that fateful day at his clothing stall.
When I had eavesdropped then, I had been unsure what he meant. Now though, I realized Pino had been encouraging Bellamy to tell me the truth, to give me a choice that might salvage that future. And the demon had not done so.
Still, he believed he would have me. I could hear it in his voice and see it in his eyes and feel it in his touch. For whatever reason, The Elemental had set his sights on me.
Finally, I turned around in his arms, pressing my hands to his chest and looking up into those blue eyes that always made my stomach flip. He would not give up until I answered his silly question, though the answer was far too meaningful to be a joke.
I sighed, knowing I would lose this fight.
“I want to mean something,” I said.
If my statement surprised him, he did not show it. His arms tightened, as if letting me go meant losing me forever. Then they loosened, his hands sliding from my back, to my shoulders, to my hands.
“Would it be okay if I took you somewhere, Princess?” he asked.
My eyes darted around our sleeping camp, trying to determine what might be nearby that would interest him. Nothing. The valley was low, grass crisp from the cold and leafless trees with branches that jutted out ominously.
Anger still pulsed through me, because he had done all those wretched things I said. He had stripped me bare—left me without family, friends, or a home. He had watched me lose everything with no remorse.
Still, I could not ignore that taking me also opened my eyes. I missed The Capital. I missed Nicola and Jasper and Farai. I even missed Mia and Xavier, though I would never say it out loud. But I would not deny the fact that Bellamy had rescued me in many ways.
I nodded, and he flashed me a dimpled smile before the smoke wrapped around us. The pain was still heavy, like being torn to pieces for that moment between time and space.
We materialized at the top of a canyon, overlooking a vast expanse of orange rock that was dusted with snow. The terrain was jagged and uneven, as if the years had eaten away at it piece by piece. Something I could relate to.
Straight ahead, the sun was rising over the land, bidding us good morning. Though I had not known true peace since that night Noe had held me, I felt it here once more. Next to Bellamy, who was as warm as the sun itself. Not just in power and magic, but in his soul.
A reminder of sorts that if we all had evil in us, maybe we all had good too.
With one hand still in mine, Bellamy leaned in and whispered, “You mean everything.”