CHAPTER NINE #2
“I saw a bow with a blue quiver in one of the shop windows. I really want to go check it out,” Gair said to Em, leaning on one arm on the greasy bar top. His aquamarine eyes twinkled in the firelight. “Do you think Faylorn would care if I sneak out for a bit?”
This was the first time during the shitty plot that Gair had shown an original thought. An original want. Em couldn’t help but smile at her best friend, a bit of hope for him sparking in her again.
“Yeah, I think that’s a great idea.”
“That’s both foolish and dangerous,” Roden snapped. “Goblins are hunting us, and Faylorn said to wait here.”
“We are in a village full of armed adventurers,” Em retorted. “I don’t think any goblin would be stupid enough to set foot in this place. Besides, I’m in charge.”
“Oh, are you?” Roden’s violet eyes flashed with anger.
“Yes, I am.” Em raised her chin with defiance, drilling her gaze into his. “You said so yourself.”
“Curse you,” the half-elf spit, turning away.
“You sure it’s okay?” Gair asked meekly.
“You can do whatever you want, Gair,” Em flashed him a proud smile. “Don’t let anyone tell you what to do. If you want to go buy yourself a new toy, then go do it. I’m not going to stop you. If Faylorn asks, I’ll tell him I gave you permission as Chosen One.”
“Gee, thanks, Em!” Gair sprang to his feet, rushing from the tavern. He’d always been a bit of a softie—the gruff, grotesque, and odorous tavern around them no doubt made him anxious, and he just wanted to get away for a moment to breathe.
These guild adventurers looked like half of them had been living in their parents’ basements or dropped out of Secondary Character college. Gair never did well with the dark fantasy classmates at Sanderson. He was a picture-perfect golden boy, a stereotypical childhood best friend.
Rex returned, a mug of steaming ale in one hand and a dainty little margarita glass in the other. He tipped his chin in acknowledgement toward Em as he set the sugar-rimmed, pink drink down, no doubt knowing she’d never had alcohol before.
“Enjoy.” The burly bartender disappeared to wipe down various tables in the sea of crowds behind them.
Em took a cautious sip of the sugary, burning drink and set it down, cringing.
Roden chuckled into his own mug.
A brawl broke out behind them, two half-orcs yelling in a foreign language. They shoved at one another. One bumped into Roden, sending a splash of steaming ale all over his leathery clothes.
“Ouch!” Roden complained, wringing his hands. He staggered out of his stool, spluttering and dodging the spilt, hot ale foaming from his stein.
“Knock that off!” Rex grabbed both the stumbling, drunk orcs and shoved them out of the tavern, yelling at them in the streets. A few of the other tavern guests whooped and cheered in gratitude.
Roden wiped the ale off himself. “Ugh!”
“Do you need…” Em was cut short.
In a singular swoop, the half-elf pulled his shirt off. Rows of hard, tanned abs glistened in the firelight, lined with paled scars. Roden let out a deep breath, a ripple flexing across his perfectly perky pectorals with nipples that would’ve made some of her female classmates jealous.
Em, like everyone else in the now silent tavern, gawked.
Roden glowered, shooting the onlookers a glare. Like he hadn’t just stripped over a small spill. A few gnome girls whistled, earning a hiss from him.
“Go back to your business,” he snapped at the staring guests.
In a flash, everyone went back to business as usual, a few other guys grumbling “show off” under their breath.
Roden just stood there, muscular and well-tanned and shimmering with oil across his taut, sensual skin. His violet eyes side-glanced toward Em, challenging her. Golden beads of split ale dripped from his dark hair and along his sharp jaw.
Em jerked, turning away. Heat rushed to her face for him catching her staring. She occupied herself by downing the margarita. A swell of buzzing relaxation swept over her in an instant; her empty stomach flooded by the new warmth of alcohol. She nearly laughed at herself for staring at Roden.
Don’t let the cliché, dark, brooding love interest get to you, she told herself. You’ve got to be different.
“Are you okay, princess?” Roden asked behind her. He shifted closer, his breath flowing in her grimy goblin-gut-tangled hair.
“Just put your shirt on.”
“That’s what I’m in the process of doing.”
Em peeked over her shoulder to see him fully clothed again as Roden sat back in his stool. Her pulse sped.
All around, the various adventure parties were disappearing into the upper bedrooms of the inn or swaying drunkenly out into the streets, singing various showtunes.
She became very aware of how alone they were now. Alone, with a love interest. In the glow of a firelight.
In an inn.
Fuck. She shuddered. I’m not ready for this.
“I’m worried about you, princess,” Roden sipped at the remaining ale that he wasn’t wearing.
“Oh?”
“So many people depend on you and revere you, but you’ve barely had time to adjust to this quest before being responsible for such high expectations.”
“I’m okay.” She knotted her fingers together, woozy from her own drink. “Everyone’s more worried about dragons and necromancers than how I’ll perform anyway.”
Perform… shit, couldn’t you find a less sexual word?
“Aren’t you worried?” Roden asked.
“Not really.” Em swallowed. “The prophecy says we’ll win.”
“The prophecy’s a poem, written by some religious wizards from the Rowling Institute of Magics. It doesn’t automatically make you a battle-ready queen.”
“Does putting me down make you feel better?” Em shot a glare at him.
“No.” Roden winced. “I just want to be sure you’re alright.”
“I’m fine.” Em motioned to herself. “I don’t have any injuries from today, and I’m not the one drenched in their drink. You don’t need to worry. I can care for myself.”
Roden narrowed his captivating eyes and shifted a little closer to her. His bulging bicep brushed against her shoulder.
Where the hell did Faylorn and Polo go?
He sighed. “I’m concerned about more than wounds, princess. There are other things you’ve done today that make me worry about the fate of Novella.”
“You mean the parts of Novella actually affected by this shitty quest?” she corrected. “There are probably plenty of other Chosen Ones and heroes running around here tonight on their own adventures.”
“Must you always be so negative?” Roden sank into his palms, leaning on his elbows as he glowered.
“I sure as hell don’t have a reason to be positive.”
“If anything gets too hard, I can help,” Roden softened. “That’s what Faylorn and I are here for. You don’t need to feel like you’re alone in everything.”
“The problem is it’s all too easy,” Em admitted.
Roden didn’t reply, chewing his lip in thought.
“Everything is so damn predictable and cliché,” she went on, her margarita loosening her tongue. “This doesn’t feel like a real adventure.”
“What does it feel like then?” Roden snapped, starting her.
“Excuse me?”
“You complain about being a Main Character, despite being in a place like this tavern.” Roden motioned to the empty, dimly lit stereotypical environment around them.
“You’re so determined to lose or mess things up or hand the placement of heir over to me so you can leave––yeah, don’t think I didn’t notice that during the Trials. ”
“So?” Em shifted in her stool.
“Do you think I’d want to take your story?
” Roden growled. “It’s bad enough I’m stuck as a Side Character in cliché adventures for heroes like you.
And you complain about or sulk about being the lead role.
But finishing an unfinished adventure for you?
How do you think that would manifest itself to a Great Author if I were to try to redeem myself as a Main Character? ”
“You…” Em couldn’t find words. She’d never considered the fact that some of her companions might not want to be on the quest with her. Nor the fact that the people in the background of her plot were also forced to be in proximity to her. “What happened?”
“I didn’t finish my journey,” Roden growled.
“I spent years building a unique, roguish personality. I did everything I could to become a sufficient Main Character. But I opted out of a journey involving pirates and curses because I wanted to stick to the fantasy genre. After that, no one came to me looking for a hero. Now I fall further into the background more every day. I’m the loser of love triangles and the antihero to hundreds of stories. ”
Em cleared her throat. “I’m so sorry.”
Roden was the very thing she was scared to become: a cliché Side Character who failed at being a Main Character.
“You can’t change fate, Em.” Roden brushed her apology off. “We must complete the destinies we’re given. If we don’t, new ones won’t come, and you’ll never get another chance.”
It can’t be true. Em hugged herself, unable to look at him. Her emotional hole of disappointment grew. There must be a way for me to get out of this shitty plot.
“I saved you today,” Roden whispered. “If you’d given up this quest, you’d never get another one again.”
Please, Em prayed again to whoever might hear. Please. I want out of this.
“Please, just don’t make things harder for me, princess,” Roden said.
“I won’t,” Em swallowed back her unexpected tears, sorry for both the half-elf and her. This was all so unfair.
“Then you won’t push me away?” Roden’s hand folded over hers on the sticky bar top.
Em’s heart leapt into her mouth. “What the hell are you doing?”
“You’re the only girl I’ve met who has a problem similar to mine, princess.” His close, hot breath reeked of his ale.
Shit.
“Um, wait, no—no—no!” Em tried to pull away.
His fingers tightened. “You and I can come to understand each other. We’re both caught in the realities of fate, but it doesn’t mean we weren’t put together in this story for a reason.”
“Roden, I thought you were lecturing me for trying to ruin this plotline, not professing your feelings to me.” Em yanked her hand free, disgusted.
“But I have too.” Roden flinched like she slapped him. “You’re the only one who’s made me feel this way. The only one who reminds me there’s a chance for me to maybe redeem my name as a character to the Great Authors for a future novel.”
“But Roden,” she protested. “It’s so… cliché.”
“So?”
“If I want to change this story into becoming original, we don’t have time to sit and kiss in a tavern.”
“I think we do.” Roden reached for her face, leaning forward. “And why stop what’s already happened? This quest is cursed with tropes, so might as well embrace it and make some memories.”
“No.” Em inhaled his alcoholic breath and arched away, digging her fingers in the sides of her stool.
His fingers paused, hovering over her cheek.
Don’t you fucking touch me.
“If you’re so concerned about not becoming cliché,” Roden frowned, pulling away. “You should start by cutting back your snark. It’s an overused character trope: Main Character’s Guidebook rule 10.”
Humiliation washed through Em. His words were true, but her determination pushed them away. She curled her lips in as the love interest caressed her cheek. The light contact of his finger set her skin on fire. Her heart sped.
Roden cupped her chin and slowly came closer and closer to kissing her lips.
What would it be like?
Instead, Em shoved him away and jumped to her feet. “I asked you to leave me alone!”
Roden brushed himself off, red-faced
Sorry to my smut readers. We’re staying PG tonight.
“I’m not into the whole romantic relationship thing right now,” she snapped. “And I can’t even friend-zone you because we barely met a day ago. So let me make myself clear…” Em leaned into his ear and shouted. “Leave me the fuck alone!”
Roden winced and jumped to his feet, now eye-to-eye with her. His fists balled. “Almost kissing is more cliché than falling in love.”
“I don’t care,” she snapped.
As if on cue, Faylorn stepped into the tavern. Polo followed hot on his heels with a fit of giggles and an armful of mushrooms. Novella knows where the imp acquired the fungi, but he munched on them shamelessly as he skipped about the empty tables and hummed to himself.
“There are no goblins,” the wizard announced with a smile, wrinkling his face.
“Glorious.” Roden moved to another table across the empty tavern and slammed his stein down, sulking in the shadows. His muscular shoulders tensed as he turned his back on everyone.
Em remained frozen, unsure of what to do anymore. Her thoughts spun, considering Roden’s arguments. It was like she was seeing the old, white-bearded mentor and goofy sidekick for the first time.
Who are these people?
And have I really been so cliché this entire time?
She peered over at Roden. She wasn’t just trapped on this quest if she wanted to keep her title as a Main Character, but she also had to somehow change it without Roden trying to stop her. For everyone’s benefit now, not just her own.
Just you wait, Roden Trislee. She bit her lip. I’ll find a way to fix this shitty story. You’ll see.