Chapter Twenty-Four
Bellamy
“ Y ou fucked that mortal scum?” Noe’s voice was enough to send me hurtling myself off a cliff, but Asher’s unnaturally still form in front of me held me in place. She looked too much like she had in Haven, on the floor in a heap of blood.
“What was I supposed to do? I am deprived, and it is not like you are offering!” Henry, despite all of his injuries, had already recovered and gotten back to his feet. Now, he was apparently well enough to argue.
“I will kill you if you do not shut up.” There was Lian, normally a calm voice of reason, pacing behind me. She would never admit it, but she had grown to love Asher—just as they all had. For all her sarcasm and casual flirting, she was far more affected than she preferred, which showed with her refusal to play into the Sun and Moon’s antics.
“Oh, please. I would not get in bed with you if it would save your life.” Noe got down on her knees beside me then, waving off a smirking Henry.
“I would.” Cyprus raised his hand, his head tilting slightly closer to Asher’s. He had insisted on lying beside her, though the way he openly hit on Henry showed that his wide-spread flirtatious nature was back in full force, rather than aimed solely at the unconscious female to his left.
“Well, you would sleep with anyone.” True. Though we all knew that Luca and Cyprus would one day give into one another, the latter’s sexual activities until then were many and frequent. Not that Noe—or any of us—truly judged or cared. Until recently, our little group had all been eager to put someone new beneath us nightly.
“What if it would save your life?” Henry’s waggling brows and seductive grin were not enough to make Noe so much as hesitate.
“Dig my grave then.”
They burst into laughter, the three of them not so much as perturbed by the abnormally unmoving Asher or the creature to our right. I brought my fingers to my temples, massaging as if I could rub away the irritation and ache.
Was it wrong to loathe your family? In this moment, I truly did. I wanted nothing more than to pick Asher up, portal her to The Royal City, and simply exist with her. If I could, I would let the world fall apart while I basked in her presence. While I worshiped her and listened to her and held her. We could talk about our pasts, give truths that neither of us had been willing to part with before, and dream of a future that we would never have.
Instead, I was here, listening to Noe—the hater of all males—tell Henry that his small cock and weird toes were too much of a turn off for her.
“You are all far more annoying than you are useful. Now, shut up lest you scare the Strange One into an endless sleep,” Wrath hissed, his voice a haunting tenor.
Apart from Asher, none of us were fans of the dalistori. He was creepy at best but utterly devoted to Ash in the same way we were, which made him tolerable.
They were all silent now, each looking from Wrath to me, as if they were waiting for me to say something to shut up the creature. But I would not because he was saying exactly what I wanted to.
I reached down to grab Asher’s hand. It was colder than normal, and I could not help but offer some of the heat that flowed through my body. The many burns across her skin were gone, healed by Ranbir—who was sure she would come to when her body and mind were ready. I touched one of her new scars, which she had made sure were always left behind.
“I want to remember,” she had once said, and the Healer never forgot.
The only one not wearing the leathers I had designed for my Trusted, Ranbir was a standout amongst the group. His bright white tunic and trousers reflected the dull light of the autumn sun above, his normally shiny black hair a loose and long mess, his beard now well past his chin. He barely slept, which was made obvious by the bags under his eyes and the hunch of his shoulders. Still, he looked positive in his statement, nearly black eyes staring down at the sleeping princess with a strange mixture of sadness and love.
“I think she is awake,” Ranbir said from beside Asher’s head. I gasped, looking down at her closed eyes and parted lips. She did not look awake, but maybe that was my stress preventing me from seeing her as I usually did—fully and wholly.
“Oh yes, she is definitely awake.” We all jumped at Asher’s husky words, sounding as if she had swallowed gravel. To everyone’s surprise, Lian shoved her way to Asher’s side, kicking Cyprus in the stomach and causing him to let out a loud grunt of pain. The Air reached down and grabbed the princess, a hand on either cheek.
“You stupid, stupid thing. Why do you insist on trying to die?” No one spoke as a single tear ran down the Air’s face, falling onto Asher’s leather-clad chest. A sense of devastation seemed to bleed from Lian as the tear splashed.
Rare was not the word to explain the occurrences in which Lian showed sadness or grief. After I had brought her to Eoforhild, she had worked for years to harden herself. This small fissure in her stoic wall was by far the most pain she had shown since then, her sobs soft but jaw-dropping as she leaned down and hugged Asher.
If the princess was as baffled as the rest of us, she did not show it. Instead, she wrapped her arms around Lian and seemed to stare off into the distance, eyes flickering back and forth as if she were watching something unfold. Then, with a sad smile, she whispered into Lian’s ear, “She would not want this for you.”
With a gentle sort of intensity, Asher pushed Lian up slightly, forcing eye contact. Lian was now the shortest of our group since Winona was no longer here to claim that title, but she still managed to look larger, her imposing and unfaltering ruthlessness adding inches to her height. Until now, that was. As The Manipulator spoke words only Lian could hear, we all felt the heaviness of our recent losses plaguing our hearts.
Lian’s tears ceased moments later, the remnants wiped away by Asher’s thumbs. Slowly, Asher leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss to Lian’s forehead, this time audibly whispering, “May she return to Eternity.”
Tension faded when Luca reached down to offer Lian help as the two females separated, which she promptly swatted away with a sound of disgust. Amusement soon followed when Cyprus reached out his hand instead, wiggling his fingers, and Luca leaned down to lightly smack his cheek in return.
As soon as Lian was fully up, I reached for Asher, scooping her into my arms and burrowing my face in her neck. When the smell of vanilla hit my nose, I nearly broke.
“He healed me. Are they still there?” Her words were muffled against my hair, but I knew what she meant.
“He left the scars, Princess. They are still there. And you are still here.”
She was okay. She would be okay.
I did not realize how badly I was shaking until Asher’s steady hand met my jaw. Relief flooded me at the simple contact. Like the rainbow after a season of rain, Asher’s presence lit my world with color. In fact, I could have sworn that the sky brightened, the sun stronger and warmer than before.
“I missed you,” I said into her ear, smiling at the way she shivered in response. There was nothing quite like feeling and hearing her. A box full of every note we had ever sent one another sat waiting in my small room in Pike, but no matter how many times I reread them, it would never be as beautiful as the real thing.
When she looked up, I gasped out loud, horror filling me. A violent storm of emotions raged within her eyes, cyclones and thunder of something beyond understanding. She was harder, fiercer, and angrier than the last time I had held her. I could feel it in my chest—my soul. Something about her was fundamentally different.
“I missed you, too.” The hard edge to her tone—one which I knew was not meant to show anger, but was merely an example of the changes occurring within her—sent alarm bells blaring in my head. What had happened in the last couple of weeks that made her this way?
“What did you say to her?” I asked quietly.
“I told her that life and death do not conquer. We do.” She shrugged, leaning up to place a gentle kiss on my lips. I desperately wished she would not pull away, but of course, she did. Suffocating on the taste of her would be better than breathing the empty air that signaled her absence.
“I love you.” The words ripped free of my mouth without a second thought, and I realized how much she needed to hear them when her eyes grew glassy. She reached up again, this time offering a far more reassuring kiss. When my tongue slid across her bottom lip, she chuckled, pulling away again. But I chased her mouth with my own, securing my arms around her tighter and leaning forward. A soft breath left her mouth, and I slipped my tongue inside, taking advantage of her surprise.
She laughed into the kiss, but gave just as much as I did, locking her arms around my neck and smiling as her tongue wrapped around mine. I nearly moaned at the sensation of her, but I could still feel her strange resolve, as if she had built a wall around her, coarsening herself.
“Gross! Stop that this instant.” The hiss came from near my knees, irritating, but not enough to ruin my joy at having my Asher back in my arms.
I hate that cat, you know.
Asher’s answering laugh to my yelled mental words made me smile, a true moment of happiness. Those were so rare these days that I tried to memorize every blush and blink and bend of her in this moment.
I love you too, by the way.
And that, the sound of her intoxicating and demanding mental voice, I would need to remember too.
“Well, little brat, you really beat the shit out of that thing,” Henry said, ruining the moment.
Cyprus laughed, leaning over to press a kiss to Asher’s cheek before quickly standing and moving himself out of my reach. She was not smiling, instead staring at the bloody female who still lay unconscious a few feet away.
“What is she?” Luca asked, leaning his head forward and squinting his eyes—as if the answer to his questions were written somewhere on the female’s body. Henry had told us what the creature had done, but Ranbir had been far too focused on Asher to explain anything.
Winona would have known, but it was her husband who answered.
“She is a whisp, though I have never seen one who manifested that way. I can search through… her research sometime soon.” With that, we all quickly sobered, the amusement and joy depleting in an instant. The air was left thick and stifling, full of the stench of death and loss.
“Okay, time to go.” I lifted Asher with me, holding her so tightly it might have hurt. But letting her go, losing this contact, was not an option. Not when she was suffering, and not when I was crumbling.
The silence of the fae since the battle in Grishel left us all with our hackles raised. Something sinister was brewing across the Sea of Akiva, something not even The Mist could hold back. We were preparing, training with mortals and demons and any creature willing to step up and choose a side. But we were vastly outnumbered.
Asher needed to be ready.
“Go where?” Her voice was so much higher than her normal tone that I feared she might still be hurt somehow. When she squirmed in my arms, I set her down gently, grabbing onto her face and pulling it close to mine, inspecting her for harm. “Go where, Bellamy?”
I froze, finally understanding.
“To Pike. We cannot have you looking for allies anymore. You need to train, to prepare. This will not just be hard physically but mentally as well.” Henry’s voice came from somewhere beside us, but all I could see was Asher—her furrowed brows and small frown and the streaks of lightning that seemed to break the storm in her eyes.
Perhaps I could ignore Pino’s warning and simply tell her how limited our time was. Maybe the secrets could come to an end and we could exist together before we were ripped apart.
“I am not going to Pike. I need to find allies. I need to convince the mortals that we are worth fighting for. Why would I go to Eoforhild when I am not done yet?” She sounded genuinely confused, as if us wanting her to come back with us was a ridiculous notion.
To her, it was. She could not fathom a world in which one would think of themselves because life to her was about serving. For years, she was told that her worth was measured in success—in blood and fear and pain. She was taught to sit, be still, and speak in the same way a hound was. She did not know how to be selfish, because she was brainwashed into being self-sacrificing.
She thought herself a wicked curse, yet she refused to accept any outcome that did not result in her saving Alemthian.
And what would that make me if I forced or coerced her into following my whims? I was neither her captor nor her ruler, and she was not my servant or my possession. Asher could not—would not—be belittled in such a way again. She ached for freedom, and there was no world in which I would be the one to steal it from her once more.
“Okay, then you stay. But you will be adding one to your little gang of heathens.” Asher sighed, offering a sad smile as if she were prepared to let me down gently. I smirked at her, lightly flicking her nose before portaling away.
When I landed in Farai’s quarters, he did not so much as scream. After three weeks of being with us, the fae had grown used to our habits—or antics as he would call them.
“Ah, the demon prince with a penchant for abduction. How may I help you tonight?”
I chuckled at his insolence, which I greatly admired. His bright white hair was wet, the black tunic and trousers airy and light for the spring heat. He had been training with our army daily, the only thing he did more than spar was annoy Lian and ask for Asher.
“Ready to see Ash?” I asked, leaning against the wooden doorframe and crossing my arms. Farai sat up, launching himself off the small bed so quickly that it let out a loud creek in protest. When he tossed the book he was reading to the ground and rushed at me, I laughed, reaching out my hand.
To his credit, Farai did not hesitate to take it, nor did he do so much as gasp at the tearing feel of portaling. When we landed back in the small forest, the fae did buckle slightly, but he recovered quickly, his head whipping back and forth in search of his friend.
She stood near the whisp that was still unconscious on the ground, but it was Ranbir she looked at. He leaned forward, wrapping his arms around her. At first, Ash did not move, seemingly too surprised to act. But then she took a deep breath and returned the hug. Ranbir’s shoulders sagged, his head falling forward. He had not confided in anyone since the loss of his wife, not so much as crying in front of us after that day.
That was the thing about Asher. She was someone that everyone wanted to like. It was difficult not to find joy in her presence, to feel the pull of her power, or to fall for her awe-inspiring desire to be better. She was brilliant and cunning and loving. So it made sense that Ranbir would finally fall apart in her arms.
My hand lifted, stopping Farai from moving towards her. “Let them have a moment.”
When the two separated, Asher stared into Ranbir’s eyes, so clearly communicating with her magic. A bone-chilling shake raked through Ranbir before he stepped further back, giving a small nod. Like nothing happened, he crouched down and began inspecting the female on the forest floor.
Noe beat us to her, skipping towards my princess with a smile that crinkled her eyes while her hair blew in the breeze behind her. Asher laughed as Noe reached out, the two of them quickly embracing before they began to whisper softly to one another. I could just make out my name before Cyprus walked to them and pecked Asher’s forehead, Luca following not far behind and wrapping her in a tender hug.
Then, as if she could sense us, Asher turned.
One day, I would paint this scene. I would capture the beauty of friends reuniting—of a love so deep it had engraved itself into the soul. The way the two of them stared at one another, not so much as breathing, was something poets only hoped to convey through words.
Tragedy was a unique sort of lovely, like a dying flower or a shattered glass vase—broken things that held a foreboding intrigue. But the healing that comes from tragedy? That sort of magnificence could not be recreated or explained.
And so we all watched as Asher ran, crossing the distance in seconds before launching herself forward. Farai did not hesitate, opening his arms to catch her. She wrapped herself around him and sobbed onto his shoulder as he laughed, his own tears streaming freely down his cheeks.
They stayed that way for a while, just breathing the other in. I smiled, feeling as if I had finally done something right. Looking at Noe, I nodded my head. She offered a sad smile before grabbing onto Lian, Cyprus, and Luca, the four of them disappearing in a cloud of shadows. Henry watched them go then made his way to Ranbir, bending down beside him and further discussing the whisp’s magic.
To my dismay, the dalistori came and sat by my feet. I groaned, wishing I could kick the damn thing and never see it again. Sadly, he was not going anywhere any time soon. Asher had told me that it believed they were meant to find one another, which apparently required the thing to never leave her side.
“That one looks odd,” Wrath said, the sound of his voice making me even more uncomfortable than his horrifying yellow eyes. I stepped away, putting some distance between us. He watched me, then, with a chilling smile, closed the space once more. As if that were not enough, he began to grow, his height soaring to my chest before suddenly stopping. “Do not be scared, little fae prince. I will not bite.”
I glared at him, trying to feign annoyance to hide the utter shock I felt at the fact that he knew what I was. Could he smell it on me? Did he know more than he was letting on? What if he knew how to get the magic out of me?
“Wrath, what do you know about magic being infused into someone?” My casual tone and folded arms were a terrible attempt at nonchalance, which the dalistori clearly saw through based on his amused expression.
“You wish for your veins to be clean once more, princeling.” Not a question. Haughtiness filled his tone, but beneath that, there was some sort of solemness as he stared at Asher. She had her forehead pressed against Farai’s, the two of them talking in hushed excitement. “One day, those wards of yours will fail, and I do not believe much more of her can be chipped away without her becoming nothing but a shell.”
“What about hers? How do we stop it? Do we even need to?” I asked, practically begging for some sort of answer to a question I have had since I met Pino at Reader River. But even he did not know—no one did. Wrath squinted his eyes, sniffing the air as if he could sample her magic.
“I do not know. She is strange, and I do not fully understand it. But she is mine, and I will not let even my god take her. I will protect her, princeling, trust that.”
My smile returned in full force. I might not like the vermin, but he did care for Asher. Even if it was in his own odd way, I could count on the psycho to keep her safe.
“After a lifetime of being hated for all the wrong reasons, it is good to know she is finally loved for the right ones.”
We looked to one another for a moment, both of us acknowledging our utter devotion to Asher. When we simultaneously nodded, I broke away and walked towards the still crying pair in front of us.
“—need to bring them here. It is not safe, Ash.”
“It is not that simple, Fair. You should not even be here. If Mia realizes you are alive, she will be waiting for us.”
“Exactly. That is why we must help before she can harm them.” The conversation was still quiet, though it was shrouded with tension and fear. Farai reached up, cupping both sides of Asher’s face. She sighed, placing hers on top of his, her eyes closed. “Please, Ash, I cannot lose him.”
“Fair…”
It was clear that Asher did not want to tell him no, that she too wished to save their friends. How could we blame them? Not only were her best friend’s still in Betovere, under the thumb of wicked rulers who craved revenge, but Farai’s husband was still there. The danger was clear, and if it were Asher, I would not hesitate to slaughter an entire realm to save her.
“We will get them.” The words left my lips in a rush, born of not only my need to please Asher, but also my own fears of losing her. “Leave it to me.”
Farai nodded, separating from Asher and looking at me without animosity for the first time since I stole him from that battlefield. I patted his shoulder and winked before I pulled Asher into me. It seemed today was meant to be full of sad hellos and goodbyes.
Leaving her hurt worse and worse each time, like my heart was slowly being carved away. Every goodbye ended with her taking another piece of me, and I wished she knew that I would gladly give them all just to make her happy.
“I will write soon, but please, for the love of all things sacred, stay out of trouble. Okay? We will take the whisp with us, and if she chooses to not help, then we will find her a home that does not lead to the deaths of hundreds. Go to King Trint. Other than Maliha, Gandry has the largest mortal military force. He would be an excellent ally. Perhaps then we would have enough aid for you to come home to me.”
Before she could respond, I leaned down and pressed my lips to hers. This time, she did not resist me when I deepened it, my tongue slipping into her mouth. I tasted her—savored her—for longer than I should have, but the kiss was still over far sooner than I wished. Farai coughed, clearing his throat after. Of course, Asher pulled away, still so unused to public displays of affection.
I groaned, gripping the side of her neck and stealing one more kiss before she laughed and stepped back. My last desperate connection of our hands had her smiling, a genuine and full upturn of her mouth that made my heartbeat stutter.
“‘Enough’ would mean we have an army so large that the fae pause. If we cannot do that, then innocents will be lost. I cannot—will not—rule over a realm of graves.” Her voice was solemn, but that undercurrent of anger still wreaked havoc in the gray sea of her eyes. I wanted to ask, but I could feel that it was not the right time.
Farai smiled beside her, looking down with what could only be described as admiration in his eyes. It was interesting that he did not comment on our relationship, nor had he since I found him. Instead, he seemed to fall into Asher’s orbit in the same way I did—in the same way we all did.
Asher was the sun, and we were merely the planets that orbited her, relying on her pull to keep us safely moving. Farai was no exception to that rule, and neither was Wrath, who had found his place at her side—once more only barely reaching her knees in height.
Turning around, I made my way to Ranbir and Henry, ready to take the Healer and the whisp back to Pike. There was too much to do, and I needed to figure out exactly how to manage it all while knowing Asher would still be away.
“Well, you could always continue to roam, but know that you might not last long if Asher finds out you are wreaking havoc on innocents.” Henry was speaking to the female, who was now awake. She seemed dazed, like her mind was somewhere far away. Her long black hair was full of pine needles, streaks of dried blood covering her face. Henry had told us how badly Asher beat the whisp, so it was likely that even after being healed, she was not feeling well.
“Life is a series of joyless events and soul-breaking loss. I do not understand why you insist on prolonging it,” she said, the impressively bleak words melodic and high.
A startled laugh came from my back. I turned to find Farai holding his hand over his mouth and Asher elbowing him hard enough in his side to make him grunt in pain.
“What did you do to her to make her talk like that?” I asked, the corner of my lips lifting in amusement.
Asher’s eyes narrowed, her arms crossing over her chest as she jutted out her hip. “First of all, she was just as crazy when we first found her, so that is not my fault.” Farai laughed again, earning a shove from Asher before she continued, “Second of all, she was going to kill us.”
“Well, I am eager to hear about whatever heinous action you took that is making you so defensive.”
She let out a soft growl before marching past me, going to the whisp’s side. Henry looked back, twirling his finger in a circle near his head. Whether he was calling Asher or the whisp crazy was unclear.
“She stole my memories. Such a gift, to be free of the pain. Perhaps next you will rid me of my heart and allow me passage to The Above.”
Even Ranbir looked startled by the creature’s words, the entirety of our group awkwardly making eye contact with one another. What did one say to that?
“Well, you heard it, put the odd little thing out of her misery,” Wrath said, sitting back and licking a paw. When his tail swished and wrapped around my ankle slightly, I made a noise of disgust and moved farther from him. His laugh echoed off the trees, putting fear into even the whisp’s vacant eyes.
“Why do you wish to die so badly? Why not use that magic of yours for something good?” Asher’s question was na?ve in all the best ways—all the ways that she should not still be after a lifetime of suffering.
The whisp tilted her head, openly staring at Asher as if she were a confusing new discovery. “I have heard stories about you. I have followed you and listened. Torment such as yours should break you, not remake you. Why do you use your magic to help when you can kill those who wronged you instead?”
“Is that what happened? Did a mortal harm you, and now you seek revenge?” Every gaze moved to me, curious looks flashing my way. The female looked as if she were pondering my question, weighing different answers.
“Yes, a group of males did.”
I did not miss the way Asher’s fingers dug into the dirt below her, knuckles taking on a lighter hue from her grip. Despite every effort to not think of it, Sterling’s face came to my mind. She would not talk about it, but I knew that he had touched her. Just like that, I was shaking, my body heating up.
“Killing innocents will not bring you the joy you so clearly seek. Death will not take away the pain.” Wrath scoffed at Ranbir’s words, still licking his paw without a care in the world. Henry watched, brows furrowed. Farai was silent as well though he had slowly begun putting space between him and the dalistori.
Asher and I looked at one another at the same time, the resolve settling between us. I squatted down, offering the whisp my hand. “Come with us. We can find you a home, even if you do not wish to fight our war.”
She stared at my hand as if it were a trick, like she had once been fooled by kindness such as this. Asher reached forward, slowly bringing her fingertips to the whisp’s cheek. When the female did not flinch, Asher closed the remaining space, flattening her palm out.
“Let me help you get rid of some of that pain.”