Chapter 15
FIFTEEN
Anger drums in my veins. How dare he laugh at me? It wasn’t enough that he fooled me for days ? Now he has to throw it into my face that not only am I entirely gullible but also a laughingstock?
“Stop. Laughing,” I grit out.
He’s on his back, rolling around almost naked. And no matter how many times I tell him to cease, he does no such thing.
Perhaps my punch did not do much, despite the blood. No worries. I shall remedy that.
Striding to him, I gather momentum to hit him again. But just as my fist is about to connect with his face, he grabs it with surprising ease. He encases my fist in his palm, and with his other hand, he pulls me toward him. Losing my balance, I topple forward and land on top of him. As if that’s not enough of an ignominy, he rolls us over until I am on my back and he is atop me, looming over me.
My breath is knocked out of my lungs, but it is not a result of an external force, rather an internal one. One I am trying my hardest to ignore that it exists.
His features are no longer full of amusement. They’re tense. Or, rather, in tense.
“What do you think—” I don’t get a chance to make my outrage known because he shushes me by placing his hand over my mouth.
My words are muffled, and soon I realize it is in vain to even speak since he clearly does not want to listen to me.
Yet the position we currently find ourselves in is not lost on me. His body is nestled snugly between my legs. I am wearing a flimsy shirt for a dress. He’s wearing next to nothing. I may not have too much knowledge of carnal matters, but even I can tell this is how everything starts—whether I want it or not.
He is aware of this conundrum, too. A drop of sweat mars his brow as he pulls himself back so he’s not touching me so intimately, but he’s not completely off me either.
“You will listen to me now, Minnie.”
I glare at him. As if I have a choice in the matter.
“I did not deceive you. Mine is the only name I wish to hear from your lips where I’m concerned.”
As if I’m ever going to call him that again.
“I do not have a female, as you wrongly assumed. I don’t know what you think you heard, but there is no other female in my life aside from you.”
I blink. What am I supposed to do with that information?
“I have no interest in any other female. Never had before, and I will never have in the future. Not even when my mortal mind fails to remember the past. Not even then,” he continues, an odd cadence to his tone.
Slowly, he removes his hand from my mouth.
“Do you understand what I’m saying?” he asks, his eyes boring into mine.
I stare at him.
“You like males?”
His eyes widen for a moment before he releases a loud sigh.
“Is that all you understood from what I said?” he asks in a hopeless tone.
“You want me to call you Mine, which I will not, of course, since it is not your name. And you’re assuring me you have no female and that you are not interested in any female.”
He presses his lips together.
“Any other female.”
“Other than who?”
“You, you silly creature. Other than you.”
I frown.
“But that’s impossible,” I whisper.
“I assure you it is quite possible,” he mutters drily.
“You cannot be interested in me. You’re mortal! I am immortal . Impossible, see?”
“Minnie…”
“All this time… I was right, wasn’t I? You’re a shovel and you were trying to steal my virtue,” I grit out and push against his chest in an attempt to get him off me.
He remains steadfast.
“Get off me!”
“You are once more misunderstanding me,” he adds with a sigh, grabbing my flailing arms and restraining me. “I am not trying to steal your virtue, Minnie. I am trying to steal your heart, damn it!”
I stop moving. “You…what?”
“Haven’t I managed it? Just a little?”
“You aren’t serious, are you?” I whisper.
For some reason, his savage expression and the way he’s holding me, so close yet too far, makes my heart skip a beat. It’s cold outside, but with him on top of me, the cold fades away until there’s only a deep sense of comfort as if I’d like nothing more than snuggle in his embrace.
My eyes widen at my train of thought.
I didn’t just… I didn’t think of him like that, did I?
“Oh, trust me, Minnie. I am very serious. You are the only female I’ve ever wanted. No other. Not here, not now, and not for an eternity to come.”
“I…” I lick my lips. “I don’t know what you want me to say to that.”
“The truth would be nice.” He smiles, showcasing his perfect teeth.
“The truth is that I am an ice deity and you are a human soldier,” I start tentatively. His features tense. “Even if I, hypothetically, returned your regard, it’s impossible between us. It’s forbidden for my kind to get involved with your kind. It’s forbidden for me to even be alone with a male, never mind like this, touching, and?—”
“And?”
A shiver goes down my back.
“It’s impossible, Lucien.”
He seems surprised at my using his first name. It must be the first time I have done so. It feels foreign on my tongue, odd… For some reason, I cannot reconcile that name with the man before me.
“Yet here we are. Theoretically impossible but made possible by our own hands,” he murmurs. He brings his hand to my cheek, caressing me lightly. The calluses on his palm are abrasive against my skin, but it’s the type of pain that reminds me I’m alive—the type of touch that awakens something within me. Something that should have forever lain dormant.
“And this moment might end up costing me my entire future.”
I cover his hand with mine and pull it aside. He stops me.
“I won’t let it.” He shakes his head.
“What can you do?” I let out a dry laugh.
“More than you can imagine, Minnie.” He stares at me, the green in his eyes deepening. “I can love you.”
Thud. Thud. Thud.
My heartbeats echo in my ears, as does another sound.
Love . The word love is on repeat in my mind, becoming louder and louder until it claims every corner of my consciousness.
Love. What is love?
I know of it. But I do not know it .
I love my brother. I love my parents—to an extent. But love, the type of love that he is implying, is foreign to me.
“What is love?” I ask in a small voice. At his confused expression, I rephrase my question. “How does one…love?”
Slowly, the corners of his mouth tip up until a brilliant smile claims his lips.
“I will teach you.”
“I—”
“Give me the remaining time you have left in this world. If by the end of your exile I do not teach you how to love, you may leave and never look back.”
“What?”
“Give me until your powers come back. You’re here anyway.”
“On a mission,” I protest. “I must vanquish the greed demon.”
“And we will. Together. I would never allow such evil to hurt innocents.”
“But—”
“Two months, Minnie. Give me two months. If I cannot teach you how to love, you may leave and forget all about me and your time here.”
“But how could I forget if anything happens and I?—”
“I will not touch you,” he interrupts. “Let me prove to you that I am not after your virtue. Only your heart.”
“You’re touching me now,” I whisper.
“I will not touch you…inappropriately. Unless you ask for it.” He winks. “You have my vow.”
I bite on my lip as I gaze into his eyes. The mere fact that I am contemplating this is madness. Yet every time I attempt to refuse, to tell him that what he proposes is insanity, my throat clogs up until no sound comes out.
Would it be so bad to admit to myself that I’m…curious?
I am not indifferent to this male. That much I know. Yet do I dare accept his challenge? The risks are enormous. If anyone should catch me, the entire Aperion would shun me—perhaps even sentence me to death. The mere idea of the death of an immortal should make me say a resounding no.
But I don’t.
I don’t say no. I don’t say yes.
I just lie there, at his mercy. My arms have fallen by my sides. His palm still cups my cheek, his body angled toward me.
If he so wished, he could easily have his way with me. If he so wished, he could ruin me. And to my great dismay, I might even…let him.
“Two months. But it better not interfere with our mission.”
“Of course not, tiny darling.”
“But I will not call you mine.”
“ Yet .”
He leans forward and lays his lips on my forehead, lingering for two seconds before rolling entirely off me. He lands on his back next to me, and though I expect he must be cold dressed only in his underwear, he doesn’t make any attempt to gather his clothes and dress. He lies there, next to me. His hand reaches out tentatively for my own, threading his fingers through mine.
“Don’t push your luck,” I grumble. I make no attempt to remove my hand from his. It’s…comfortable.
“Fine, fine.” He sighs.
Now it’s my turn to smile.
“You have given me a nickname. Perhaps it’s only fair I do the same to you.”
He bristles. “What? Luc? Luke?” He rolls his eyes.
I scrunch my nose in distaste. “I don’t like that.”
“Welcome to the club. I happen to hate my name, too.”
“Why?”
He grimaces. “Let’s say I have bad memories with the name Lucien .”
“That is odd,” I note. “Is that why you did not want me to call you that way?”
He nods.
“What about Vitry?”
“Vitry is fine, but it’s so…impersonal. Everyone calls me Vitry. And you’re not everyone.” His head turns to the side, and though our hands are linked together, the moment his gaze collides with mine, an unusual warmth washes over me.
“Your actual middle name is Valerìon, no?”
He stares at me, wide-eyed. “How did you find that out?”
“The same way I found out your middle name isn’t Mine .”
He nods, though he doesn’t seem very pleased about it.
“I am surprised you don’t go by that name. It is a very fine name,” I add reluctantly.
“Is it?” he asks slowly, carefully.
“One of the greatest Aperite Supremes went by the name of Valerìon. It is a highly regarded name in Aperion.”
He grunts.
“I can call you tha?—”
“No,” he interrupts me. “Only my parents call me by that name.”
I frown and await further clarification, but he doesn’t seem inclined to explain himself.
“Val?”
He shakes his head.
“Vally?”
“God, no,” he grumbles.
“You’re impossible.”
He lets out a frustrated sigh.
“Can’t you see, Minnie? I wanted you to call me something no one’s ever called me before.” He pauses. “Mine.”
A blush stains my cheeks. Perhaps I am too gullible because I did not realize what the name meant from the beginning, but now that I know… I cannot unknow it. And that makes me acutely aware of him as…mine.
“It’s not proper,” I mutter in feigned annoyance. Oh, it is so far removed from proper, I should have seen the red flags from the beginning. Perhaps to a degree I did not want to see them. And that is my failing that I will have to reckon with at some point.
“When will it be proper then?”
“Only if you were my mate.”
“I will wait then,” he utters with such confidence I’m certain my punch must have addled his mind.
“You might wait forever.” I roll my eyes at him.
“Forever doesn’t seem that long if the prize that awaits me at the end is you .”
I flush a deeper red. A frisson goes down my back and I cannot prevent my heart from doing a somersault in my chest at hearing his words.
Is it suddenly too hot in here?
Because I feel rather warm. And fuzzy. And I’m almost certain there are some winged beings flapping around in my stomach.
Oh my, I think I’m about to be sick…
“What about Rìon?” I ask suddenly in an attempt to change the topic—and hope that I will not get sick and embarrass myself further.
He opens his mouth and I know he’s about to rebuke me again, but as the seconds trickle down, no sound comes out.
“That is not a bad nickname,” he eventually accedes. “Though it does not feel my own.”
“I agree. In High Aperite, Rìon means the loyal one. It remains to be seen if you will live up to it.”
The corners of his lips tip up.
“Is that a challenge, Minnie?”
I shrug.
“Is it? I suppose we shall see. You have two months to live up to it.”
“If only you knew…” he muses quietly, shaking his head as a wistful smile pulls at his lips.
“If I knew what?”
“It doesn’t matter. Two months. I will do my best to teach you everything about love.”
“Well, not everything ,” I add in a low voice. Wetting my lips, I continue, “Nothing physical must occur between us. I mean it. You do not realize how strict my world is about chastity. If there is even the smallest doubt that I may have let a male touch me…” I gulp down. “I will not only be shunned, but I may even be imprisoned for it.”
“I vowed to you, Minnie. I will only ever touch you if you ask for it.”
I nod. His tone appears to be truthful, though what do I know? I’ve been fooled before. I may be fooled again. Yet if he truly wanted to do something to me, it would be quite easy to do it now. Nothing could stop him if he meant to harm me.
Yet despite the fact that I am now more vulnerable than I have ever been in my life, I do not feel threatened. In fact, the only threat comes from within me, from my impure thoughts.
“There is one thing I am unsure of, though,” I start. Turning onto my side to get a better look at him, I place my hands under my head. “Why were you laughing at me?”
His eyes widen. A deep flush goes up his neck until his entire face is red. He averts his gaze, glancing at the ceiling of the barn as he fidgets with his hands.
“Well…” He takes a deep breath. “When you said you wanted to do it , that you wanted to let out the steam , I thought…”
“You thought?” I frown.
“That is a euphemism in my world for sex.”
“Sex…” I repeat numbly. “You thought I wanted to mate with you?” My eyes bulge out in shock.
He tenses, and he shifts around, clearly as uncomfortable as I feel now.
“You mentioned breaking the bed and the desk, and…” He closes his eyes. “Let’s just say my imagination got the best of me, all right? It’s all my fault for misunderstanding.”
He stands up, walks to where he left his clothes, and picks them up.
“No, no. Wait a moment. You can’t just say something like that and then walk off. What do you mean by breaking the bed?” I blink. “And if you thought we were going to m-mate, then you also thought that…” My mouth drops open in shock as I replay our conversation. I’d proudly boasted about my experience and the fact that I’d done this many, many times before.
“It doesn’t matter now, Minnie,” he says in a defeated voice, unwilling to meet my outraged gaze.
“You thought I’d mated with scores of males? That I?—”
He sighs. “I am now aware that is not true.”
“Of course it’s not true! I’ve never so much as held a male’s hand!”
He raises a brow at me.
“Until now,” I mutter under my breath. “Nevertheless, how could you misunderstand me like this?”
“Clearly, my head is in the gutter where you’re concerned, Minnie.” He lets out a derisive chuckle. “To think I was ready to murder every single one of those males you spoke of?—”
“Well, you cannot, seeing that I already killed them. Really, Mine, you’re not doing much to prove me that you are not a shovel.” The word mine slips out before I can stop myself.
Damn it.
Though I must confess that neither Rìon nor Vitry hold as much appeal as Mine. After all, to me, he is Mine…
“Rake,” he corrects.
“Whatever.” I wave my hand. “How is my virtue supposed to be safe with you when the first thing you thought of was that this was an invitation to mate, not to fight?”
He has the decency to look thoroughly chastised.
“How can I be a rake, Minnie, when yours is the only hand I’ve ever held, too?” His voice is low, gravelly.
The question takes me by surprise, and I’m reminded of the fact he said he’s never done it before, it being mating. So he…
“Of course you have not,” I huff aloud. “And that is the only reason I am allowing you to court me. If you had so much as looked at another female, I would have never accepted this bargain of yours.”
“So I am allowed to court you?” He quirks a brow.
I avoid answering the question directly. Instead, I add, “But be warned that I do expect donuts daily if you want to remain in my good graces.”
He smiles.
“Ah, you’re such a gem, Minnie. Don’t ever change.”
“Why would I?” I narrow my eyes at him. “I take it you agree to supply me with donuts?”
“Anything you wish,” he says and inclines his head.
I nod. While he’s getting dressed, I pick up my coat from the ground and put it on—well, his coat, but I have now claimed it for my own.
But as I head for the exit, Mine stops me. Ugh, I need to stop thinking of him as Mine . It’s not his name! Yet it’s harder said than done… I should at least not utter it aloud. Not when I know how much he would gloat at it.
“Where are you going?” he asks, placing himself in front of me.
“Back to the dorm, of course. I still have a job to do and I must change into my uniform.”
He gives me a dazzling smile.
“You will be happy to know that I have spoken to your supervisor and you will not need to return to your station.”
“W-what?”
“From today onwards, you are my personal nurse.”
“Your…personal nurse?” I repeat, still in shock.
“Indeed. It will be much easier to go about vanquishing that demon if you don’t have to report to work daily.” Under his breath, he also adds, “And you won’t be treating other men, either.”
“But, Mine!” I protest. If I could kick myself, I would since this is the second time I’m calling him Mine when I should not. “I need this job!”
“You are still employed. But your only charge from now on is me . So you will not be required to room at the dorms, either. In fact, I’ve spoken with my own supervisor and he’s agreed to allow me to move into one of the empty sheds at base. You will, of course, move in with me as my live-in nurse.”
I stare at him.
“Your live-in nurse?” I sputter.
“You will still get paid, and you will get all the perks you had as a nurse. You should be happy you now have so much more freedom and?—”
Before he can finish his words, I kick him in the leg.
“What is wrong with you? How could you arrange for something so important without my permission?”
“But I thought you would be pleased…” He blinks.
“Pleased? Pleased?” I repeat in outrage. “Why would I be pleased about living with you ?”
“Because you will have more freedom of movement, and since I know what you are, you won’t have to hide and?—”
“You are impossible,” I cry out. “Males,” I muter under my breath. Though I’d like nothing more than to rage at him for not even consulting me, I have to admit that his reasoning is not wrong. I will need more freedom of movement if I am to defeat this demon, and he is the only one who knows my true identity and purpose of being here. I suppose for that reason, my new job may have its perks.
But to live with him? Did he not understand anything from what I said to him? How can I live with a male? One who’s declared his intentions toward me at that, too?
“I promise I will behave, Minnie. There will be separate beds, and I will ensure you have your privacy,” he continues as if he doesn’t see anything wrong with what he did.
“So I get absolutely no say in this, do I?” I release a defeated sigh after another moment of pondering his words.
Tommy must have been onto something when he said that Mine must have a lot of connections. Who else would have managed to do something like this? I’ve never heard of a private nurse before just like I’ve never heard of a Major this influential.
“It’s already done,” he replies smoothly. “So now that we’ve put this entire debacle behind us, would you like to come with me to see our new shed?”
Our. He said our .
A tiny sliver of excitement goes through me, but I temper it.
“Fine,” I mutter. “But remember. The mission comes first. Everything else is second. Is that clear?”
“Of course,” he agrees easily. Far too easily. “Who said demon hunting and courting don’t go hand in hand?”