11. Eleven
Ludelle, Balvan, and Zimyn were all on the sidelines as the nobles warmed up. Ludelle got to the rings early to be able to do some practice throws in private. She hit the targets perfectly. Three times in a row. She hoped that her luck would stick now that she had an audience.
“Do these nobles even train?” Zimyn asked. His arms were crossed in front of him, already on the defensive.
“Of course they do,” Balvan replied. “What else is a noble to do with their time?”
Ludelle snorted. They both whipped their heads in her direction.
“What?” she bit out. “It’s true. These nobles have too much time on their hands. I want to be impressed.”
“How much do you want to bet that it’ll take less than ten minutes before one of them is hurt?” Zimyn’s eyes practically sparkled with the anticipation of it.
They did this often, especially when they were younger. Whenever they had to attend a boring meeting, they bet on something. No coin was involved, just bragging rights. At first, they kept things reasonable. A noble would lose their temper or Balvan would drop his pen. That became too easy, so they started betting on the most outlandish scenarios. If her father would chip a tooth, or if a bird would somehow fly through the room. One time, they bet that Kotyn would hop on the table. She did once. That was the last time she was allowed to attend any official court meetings. Ludelle thought Kotyn became happier after that decision.
It felt nice to be back to that friendly companionship; a relief to have dispersed that tension. Sure, she was still upset that he didn’t tell her the truth but deep down she understood why. More importantly, their time was limited, and she didn’t want to spend that time in a fight. He was her person. She wanted to savor every second she had left.
“You’re on!” Ludelle said. “And I’ll even bet on it being Mitah.”
Zimyn reached out his hand, and they shook on it. She let her grasp linger a moment longer than she should have, taking in his warmth.
“Are you two done?” Balvan reprimanded, and she pulled away from Zimyn. “I think it’s time to begin.”
Zimyn began some drills with the nobles. Ludelle stayed back to observe.
“I wouldn’t underestimate Lord Mitah as much as you have been. He’s a strong match for you,” Balvan said so only she could hear.
“Lord Mitah has an icicle up his ass because his ego is too weak.”
Balvan sighed, “You need to take time and reflect on who exactly you want by your side. Someone who compliments your abilities.”
“You already know Lord Cirrus is my option. You’re the one who is making it difficult by not accepting that and refusing to explain why.”
“He offers you nothing,” he said too sharply to mean nothing. Ludelle was beginning to think there was a history there that Balvan was keeping to himself. She didn’t care to push him on it though.
“His family runs the diamond mines. He’d be a strong asset to have in the castle,” Ludelle contested. “Lord Mitah on the other hand is just a spoiled noble who cares about nothing but himself and a pretty title.”
“Then I guess when it”s time to go to the divine temple room, you can submit your choice to the Weather Gods. I just hope you don’t regret it.”
The training session had been a disaster. Lord Mitah had, in fact, gotten himself hurt via a gash across his palm, all because he thought it was a good idea to toss a sword in the air, then try to catch it.
“He didn’t throw it high enough and he grabbed the blade as it fell down,” Ludelle recounted to Helena and Villeta.
They were sitting in the small dining area attached to her rooms. She usually used this space whenever she could eat on her own, but she invited the two of them to join her.
Helena and Villeta, whether intentionally or not, complemented each other”s outfits. Helena’s light hair down while wearing a black gown, while Villeta’s dark waves draped over her ivory dress.
“Some men always feel the need to prove themselves,” Villeta said as she cut through her steak. Red blood oozed out of it.
“That’s why women are better,” Helena beamed. Villeta gave her cousin a peck on her cheek, then fed her the piece of steak.
Ludelle’s heart ached at the ease between them. She craved that, but she accepted that it would no longer be in her future, which brought her to the reason they were here.
“I need some advice.”
That piqued their interest.
Ludelle’s face heated, already uncomfortable with the vulnerability she was about to emit. “I…” She shook her head and started again, pretending to be in a meeting with Balvan. She donned a Queenly stature. “As you know, myself and Zimyn have a connection. One that had always been beyond friendship.”
Helena snorted. Ludelle gave her a sharp glare.
“What?” Helena said. “That’s obvious to anyone with eyes.”
“Well,” Ludelle continued as she picked at her plate. “He’s leaving right after my Undertaking to travel the courts.”
Their faces both saddened.
“I’m sorry,” Villeta said with comfort. She reached out and squeezed Ludelle’s hand. “That must hurt.”
Ludelle cleared her throat, not allowing the emotion to consume her.
“It does, but I want Zimyn to be happy more than anything, so I support his decision. We have never been together intimately. We agreed to wait until after my marriage so that there would be no guilt in the action and it would make it easier for me to pick someone besides him.”
“Oh.” Helena squeaked. “I always thought you both were secretly ravishing each other.”
Ludelle smiled. “That was the plan once I was married, but now…I don’t feel a reason to wait. Should we just go for it?”
Both of their mouths gaped open, and Ludelle immediately regretted the questions. Of course they would think that she was ridiculous. It was a stupid notion.
“Yes, go for it!” Helena yelled, like it was the most obvious thing. “You’ll regret it otherwise.”
Villeta nodded eagerly. “The memory of being in his arms in that intimate way will be a lasting one, especially when you love him as much as you do.”
“How do you know I love him?”
“Because you are willing to sacrifice that love so he can be happy.”
Ludelle sniffled and wiped away a tear that strayed down her cheek. Helena stood up and rubbed Ludelle’s back.
“We’ll be here once he’s gone. Every step of the way.”
Ludelle had never been more grateful to have her ladies in waiting. Perhaps Balvan had been right that she just needed to spend more time with them. She promised herself that she would make a better effort once her Undertaking was done. She needed these women, Ludelle realized. They could offer a camaraderie greater than that of any consort.